Us After You

by Claudia Burgoa

  “I can tell her you went to visit your sick grandparents. We’re Mae’s guardians, not her prisoners.” He laughs, and I give him an unamused glare. “No, really, you can go. We can’t take her out of the state without their permission. We have to reach out to her case manager and inform her of our plans. Also, Fitz did something cool. He made sure Nana and Alex became her emergency guardians.”

  “Emergency guardians?” I ask, worried. “Why?”

  “In case I decide to take you on a date to Hawaii,” he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me to him.

  He presses his lips on the corner of mine. It’s a lingering kiss—one that’s not helping me think straight. Neither is the way his thumb caresses my jaw. My brain is having trouble processing, and all I want is to move my head just enough, so we can finally kiss.

  Ever since I told him Corbin and I aren’t dating anymore he’s changed the way he sees me, the way he talks to me, even the way he touches me.

  This slow dance of light touches, stolen glances, and flirty words is dangerous, and one I look forward to every single day. I swallow hard before I move away. These little moments are worth enjoying, but there’s a person who depends on us, and we can’t throw caution to the wind and ruin her future.

  51

  Sage

  I’m trying not to freak out, but I am. Tucker said he was going on a day trip. It’s eight o’clock, and he’s not home yet. He hasn’t called or texted to tell me he’s alive. I shouldn’t care or freak out about any of this. Still, where is he?

  Before I call the police, I try his number one more time.

  “Is everything okay?” he answers after the second ring.

  “Where are you?”

  “With a client,” he says casually.

  “What happened to your day trip?” I ask, because unless he’s in California, I’m not sure if he’s going to make it back today.

  “Tucker, try this. This is delicious.”

  My body freezes when I hear the female voice on the other line. He’s with someone.

  “Are you coming back tonight?” I ask in a pissy tone.

  He’s on a fucking date, and I’m here pacing around the house, praying that he’s not dead in a ditch.

  “Listen, Em scheduled a few more meetings for tomorrow and booked me a room for two nights, why—”

  “You got to be kidding me?” I lash out. “We set everything, so I could go to Baker’s Creek tomorrow.”

  “Can you reschedule?”

  “It’s always the same fucking story with you. Your job is more important. Your family comes first. I have to push everything because you don’t give a shit about my job or my family,” I protest. “I’m sure your date is more important than coming home. I hope she has crabs.”

  I hang up and go to the home office to reschedule my trip. At midnight, Mae finally goes to sleep. She’s been restless. Missing Tucker. She didn’t get a goodnight kiss from him. He skipped her nighttime story, and he didn’t sing her a lullaby. It was hard to settle her down.

  Maybe once we’re granted permanent guardianship, I’ll move to the city. We can share custody of Mae. Honestly, I don’t see myself trying to co-parent with him while he’s dating.

  What if he gets married?

  Will they try to take her away from me?

  I stay awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking about our future. More like my future when he finds a woman to settle down with and he leaves—or I have to leave. It’s almost two in the morning when I hear noise coming from downstairs.

  Mae wails almost immediately, and I jump out of the bed, heart racing, with a brush in my hand. I run to Tucker’s room, grab her from the crib, and hide inside his closet. Fuck, why did I leave my phone on the nightstand?

  The handle wiggles and the light turns on. A pair of stormy gray eyes find mine, and he shakes his head. “Really, you’re going to attack me with your brush.”

  “I heard a noise,” I tell him defensively.

  “Who else could it be?” he asks.

  “I have a security detail watching the house,” he reminds me, bending over and pulling me to a standing position. “Why was she crying?”

  “The noise,” I tell him.

  He takes Mae into his arms and kisses her, pressing her close. “I missed you, Snuggle Bug. Were you good for Sage?”

  Mae yawns and closes her eyes. Life is back to normal.

  Tucker looks at me and says, “I wasn’t on a fucking date. It was a meeting with a client. Her husband was right next to us.”

  “It’s none of my business. You’re free to date.”

  He glares at me, walking away. Mumbling something to Mae, he places her back into her crib.

  Firm steps, determined gaze, and shoulders back.

  He reaches me. His hands come to my head. The musky-woodsy-citrusy scent of his fills the air. His mouth drops to mine, using just enough pressure on the back of my neck, as his soft mouth moves along with mine.

  “It’s your business, our business,” he says, a note of firmness in his voice, his lips so close to mine I’m craving them.

  “You didn’t have to come back,” I whisper, holding my breath, vulnerable, and wondering why he’s here—why isn’t he kissing me? “I can manage on my own.” But I’d rather be with you, I don’t say.

  “Always,” he says. “If you need me, I’ll always come back home. Nothing is more important than you—or Mae.”

  One of his hands travels down my back, searing my bare skin with the heat of his palm, making me shiver. He takes my lips, and I finally breathe.

  There’s a light pressure coming from his tongue, I open my mouth for him. He reaches deeper, his tongue curling around mine. I grab onto his shoulders, holding him with my aching body.

  This kiss is just like his flirting, hot, but also so slow. As if he’s leading an expedition, searching for something, or maybe trying to unravel the heat inside of me.

  His touch thickens the pleasure, heightens my desire. His tongue uncovers every corner of my mouth. I want him everywhere, not just there.

  Tuck pushes me against the wall, not letting my mouth go. I let myself go, loosen completely, and just drink from him.

  Our breath is ragged, our hands touching everywhere. His mouth releases mine and trails down my throat, tasting my skin. I slide my hand up to his hair, tangling my fingers in it. Moving his head over to my breast, the unshaven bristles scrape my skin.

  “Baby, you never told me you slept almost naked,” he says, staring at my naked torso. Tonight, I only wore a pair of panties. “If I had known … I’d never be able to sleep.”

  He slides his palm down my stomach, tracing my soft belly, along the lines of my ribs. His thumb caresses the curve of my breast before his mouth sucks on a nipple.

  “You’re perfect,” he says, sucking the other hard pearl, nibbling on it.

  When I moan, his lips move back to my mouth, and he kisses me as he continues touching me with a rhythm I don’t understand. His callous fingers alternate between strokes, pinches, and caresses. When his hands move down my hips, I gasp, and my apex clenches in need.

  As if he knows, his palm moves between my legs, one finger tracing the wet seam twice, before his thumb brushes my clit.

  A throaty sound echoes in the room. I realize it’s me. Almost screaming with pleasure. Need.

  “Tuck,” I say, not sure if it means to keep going, to stop, or to make me come now.

  He slides a finger deep inside me as his palm moves faster over my needy sex. It’s quick, the way he sends me spiraling out of control, until I’m coming fast, so fast. He muffles my cries with a kiss and levels me, so I don’t fall. My legs can barely sustain me.

  “It’s just you, Sage,” he says, once my shallow breathing stops. “Sorry, I had just focused on me and forgot that we’re a team. I usually work alone. From now on, I’ll be more mindful because you matter more than my company. My family deserves as much time.”

  “I missed you,” is all I’m able t
o say, because I did, so much. “Not knowing if you were okay was killing me inside. At least call and … I know we’re not—”

  “We are, babe. You’re so much more to me. Let’s go to bed, okay? I’m tired.”

  “What about you?” I ask, as I feel his hard length pressing against my body.

  “I just need you in my arms. We’ll … we need to be careful. This isn’t a quick fuck, and I need to figure out how to work a relationship before we have sex. Be patient, please, because I am great at fucking up.”

  He undresses down to his boxer briefs and takes me to his bed. I fall asleep in his arms, and tonight, I don’t allow myself to second-guess what’s happening between us. Tonight, I let myself believe.

  The next morning, I tiptoe my way out of the house. I’m stopped in the middle of the driveway by the security detail in turn.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Baker’s Creek,” I respond. “The baby is in the house. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  He chuckles and shakes his head. “Give me a second, Ms. Heywood.” He grabs his phone, nods, and shakes his head a couple of times. “You can go, there’ll be a detail behind you soon.”

  “I don’t need a babysitter.”

  “We beg to differ,” he says, looking around.

  The way he says that sends a tremble of fear down my spine. Why would he say that? I’ll talk to Tucker later.

  Should I talk to him?

  I’m still not sure what to think about last night. The exchange on the phone, him coming home immediately, and that kiss. I press my thighs closer, knowing it was a lot more than a kiss.

  More than an intense orgasm. Coming apart wasn’t part of my plan.

  Actually, I’ve never come like that in my entire life. I smile as I drive away. All I know is that one way or another, we’ll make this work. Not only for Mae, but for us.

  52

  Tucker

  When I wake up, I find a note on the kitchen counter from Sage.

  Going to Baker’s Creek. Be back later today.

  I work out, get Mae ready to head to the office, and when I open the garage, I realize she took her car.

  Fuck!

  I try calling her, but her voicemail answers.

  “Babe, I’ll send the helicopter to pick you up, and have someone drive your car back home. That thing should go to a museum as an artifact of last century. I’m sure it’s perfectly fine, but I worry about your safety.”

  When I arrive at work, I head to Hannah’s office.

  “Baby time!” she says, marching toward me and snatching Mae. “I want one.”

  I look at her concerned. “They’re not puppies—or cats.”

  “We know,” she says with a grin. “Having nieces and nephews is satisfying. When Mae was around, we saw the other side. The one where you deal with the baby all day long, and you don’t hand it off to the parents because it’s your responsibility.”

  “Daunting, huh?” I ask, waiting for her to say that they’ve decided to only have pets.

  “Gratifying, loving … we want one. Our own little baby,” she concludes, smelling Mae.

  “You surprise me, Hades,” I confess. “What’s up with the wedding?”

  “Not sure. I might just call you one day to come to my house and surprise you with it,” she says. “So, what’s happening with Sage? I watch you guys very closely, and sometimes, I just want to push you two together, so you finally kiss.”

  I laugh, because with this one, I don’t doubt she’d do something that crazy.

  “We did,” I say, taking Mae back and walking out the door.

  “Wait, I need more,” she claims.

  “Nope, you don’t.”

  “Oh my God! You did it!”

  “We didn’t do anything,” I deny her allegations.

  “You did. You have the face of a well satisfied man,” she assesses. “Be mindful, okay? I know you’re one of the best guys out there, but just be careful with both your girls. They matter.”

  “What should I do?”

  “Flowers,” she answers. “Order an orchid with a beautiful pot. Write something like, ‘A promise that I’ll water our love, and tend to it so it keeps blooming.’”

  “Are you busy this weekend?”

  “Depends. What do you need?” She gives me an inquisitive glance.

  “Can you babysit Mae? I want to take Sage out on a date.”

  “Count on us. You can leave her all night, so you two can have some fun,” she even adds.

  “Thank you, Nana.”

  As I’m about to step out the door she says, “Tuck.” I halt and turn slightly. “I’m happy for you.”

  “I’m scared,” I mumble. “What if I lose them?”

  “You won’t, okay? Your life has never been conventional. This family is a shoe in for Tucker Decker.”

  It’s almost five when Ethan drops by my office. “Are you busy tonight?”

  “No, what’s the plan?” I ask, putting my things away.

  “Z and I are heading to Nana’s for dinner, and she mentioned Sage was out of town,” he says and takes Mae in his arms. “Why don’t you tell your dad to bring you with your uncles and the crazy aunt?”

  “I’m not her dad,” I clarify.

  His attention moves toward me. “She’s going to call you ‘Tucker?’”

  “We haven’t thought about that,” I say, grabbing my computer bag and walking toward the door.

  If I adopt Mae, why can’t she call me Dad? Will it be right to steal that title from Rocco? Is it fair for her not to have a father?

  This is more complicated than I thought, and it gets more and more complex as the days pass, and she grows.

  Last night, while Sage slept in my arms, I kept contemplating the ways to make things work with her before the court gives us permanent guardianship of Mae. Because I want this to last forever, not just until … I don’t even know what’s going to happen.

  After that long kiss, after I finally tasted her, I came to the realization that I’m in love with her. I don’t know when it happened. All I know is that in spite of the uncertainty we live in, I fell for her. It must have been between the first time I saw her and those endless conversations we had while sharing our love for Mae. This might not be the best time to be in love with her and to live our lives.

  But when is it really a good time to start your life and do what you love?

  This might be a reckless thought, just like my love for Sage, but I want to be Mae’s dad. See her walk, say her first words, and, hopefully, one of them would be Dad. She’ll learn she has two dads—and two moms. One set is in heaven looking after her.

  “Rocco would want her to have a family and everything he never had—that includes a dad, Tuck,” Ethan says, breaking through my thoughts.

  “Is that me stepping into his life?”

  He shakes his head. “Think of her. We’re not going to erase Rocco from her life. You’re just being the man who is going to raise her and love her as your own.”

  “I’m going to make it happen,” I inform him of my decision. “Mae, Sage—my family. Zeke might have to talk to the Everharts on my behalf and convince them to do things a different way.”

  “Why don’t you start something real with Sage, and then we can plan the next step?” he suggests.

  “There’s a black SUV following us,” Sage mentions. “You know, I hadn’t noticed that there’s one always following me until this Wednesday when I drove to Baker’s Creek.”

  “Security,” I explain, as I drive toward the restaurant.

  She loved the idea of a date, but not when I proposed we go to Napa. It sounded romantic, but it’s too far away from Mae. Ethan hooked me up with a reservation to Dane’s, one of the best steakhouses in Seattle, which happens to have a three-month waiting list.

  “Why me? They’re for Mae,” she continues.

  “Mae isn’t the one with a stalker ex-husband,” I explain.

  “Anything you’d like
to share with the class? I keep hearing the second phone ring—every day. When I approach, I see it’s from an unknown number. Is he calling me?”

  She sounds curious, and I hope she doesn’t get scared when I tell her what I know.

  Fuck!

  “Yes, and he’s traveled to Seattle a couple of times,” I explain. “To be honest, I went to New York for two things. One to meet with some clients and two … to tell him to fuck off or he’ll regret it.”

  “You didn’t,” she gasps.

  “No, because you called me and I flew back home,” I inform her. “He’s been hounding you and … you need to avoid him, okay?”

  “There’s no point in going to visit him,” she says. When I glance to look at her, she’s watching the street. “It’s over.”

  It’d be over if he wasn’t hunting her, watching her. Since we changed her phone number, we’ve been documenting his whereabouts. He’s been using disposable phones to call and text. It’s hard to keep track of that. He’s flown to Seattle a few times, and he’s paying for the Heywoods’ lawyer.

  “Thank you, though. Nobody has worried or cared for me like you do.” She reaches over, grabs my hand, and squeezes it. “We haven’t talked about that night. I don’t want to look too much into it, but it was intense and unexpected. I want to make this work, but maybe I’m just—”

  “You need me to spell it out, then I will. This is going at your pace, but I want everything with you, Sage. Mae, the house, more babies, the pets, and most of all, you. I’ll work hard to earn your trust, your heart, and your soul.”

  She rests her head on the seat and closes her eyes. I don’t say more, just drive to my destination, hoping I didn’t come on too strong. That the asshole didn’t break her to a point that she’ll never allow anyone to love her the way she deserves.

  Love, I never thought I would say that word and mean it, but the more time I spend with her, the more I know it’s real and I want to be consumed by it—by her.