by Tyler, Q. B.
My script.
Whenever I’d write Bennett a note or a card, I’d always sign it, forever and ever.
He’d tattooed the words in my handwriting. Over his heart.
“Bennett…”
“Well…” he lets out a breath, “if this is the first time you’re seeing it, then…it can’t really mean bad luck. Certainly not worse luck than getting a divorce.” He raises an eyebrow at me.
“How…I…when?” I put a hand over my head, remembering that Bennett would have no recollection of that. “Never mind.”
“I was shocked to see it too.” He smiles. “And all this.” He points at his arm. “Never thought I’d be one for all this ink.”
I nod, remembering how he only had a few when we started dating, but they slowly started to accumulate, and after his father died, tattoos were one of his ways to cope.
“You started getting a lot of them when Senior died.” My lip trembles because my father-in-law was truly one of the best men I knew. I don’t know how he put up with Caroline some days. But like Wren said, she’d gotten more insufferable after he died.
“About five years now?” he asks and when I turn my gaze back to him he’s looking off somewhere behind me.
“Yeah.”
He clears his throat, nodding, and I can see him closing off that part of himself. I’m not going to push it. Bennett and I had talked about his father in great detail, and he’d told me countless times that I was single-handedly what got him through the hardest time of his life. We’d dropped off the face of the earth together, gone to a Bed and Breakfast in Virginia, and holed up for weeks, ignoring everyone in the outside world with the exception of Caroline, who’d also jetted off to the Bahamas with her girlfriends.
We’d made love for days on end, only resurfacing to eat and sleep. We’d gone hiking in the Blueridge Mountains—which I told him was a one-time deal, and horseback riding which he told me was a one-time deal—and fell deeper in love over those few weeks despite the tragedy that had brought us there.
But that was just it; our love had gotten Bennett through that. Having to open that wound without me to shield that pain wasn’t going to be easy and I could tell he wasn’t prepared to do it.
As if he remembers what brought on this interaction, he speaks. “What are you doing sneaking around at 7 AM? Aren’t you hungover?”
“I needed some Advil and some water.”
“And to spy on me…” He leans against the door jamb.
“No, no, definitely not!” I exclaim and immediately my mind thinks, the lady doth protest too much.
“It’s okay, I’ve got nothing to hide.” He smirks and I let my gaze slowly move down his body again. Before I can stare too long, he has me boxed against the wall, his eyes raking over my skin and only now do I remember I’m only wearing a tiny tank top and a pair of silk shorts. I look down and note that my nipples are hard and poking through the low cut cotton tank. “Last night, you were drunk and vulnerable and I wasn’t going to take advantage…” he leans down, his voice low and washing over me, “but don’t fucking tempt me, Olivia. You’re still my wife and I still very much desire you, and what I know to be the best pussy of my life.” He licks his lips as his green eyes look down my shirt slightly before backing up. “Put some clothes on and don’t listen to me jack off.” He moves back into his room and prepares to shut the door. “Unless you’re planning to help.” He winks before closing the door.
A week later, I’m sitting at the island with my headphones in, a cup of coffee permanently glued to my hand as I sit on the most pointless conference call. My boss has been going on for the past twenty minutes about marketing strategies that I could have explained in a three line email. Bennett walks out completely dressed, his hair still wet from the shower and gives me a smile. I mute the call, pulling a headphone from my ear and look up at him as he slides up next to me, leaning down on the bar.
“Why are you up and dressed so early?”
“Because we’re going out.”
Both of my eyebrows raise in question. “Are we?” We had been getting along pretty well the past week, moving around like two polite roommates, and thankfully there hadn’t been any instances fueled by alcohol. The sexual tension is still there, lurking in almost every interaction, but I’m doing everything I can to ignore it.
Bennett is not.
“Yeah, come on, we can’t stay cooped up in the house all day. You need fresh air.”
“Well, I’m on a call…” I point at my phone, “and where are we going?”
“To get some food for one.” He shrugs and pulls my almost empty cup from my hand and pours me another cup of coffee, before sliding it back into my hand. “And I don’t know, it’s New York, I’m sure we can find something to do.”
I cock my head to the side and raise an eyebrow. “That sounds like a date.”
“Call it whatever you want, you’re going.”
I tune into the last few minutes of my call, grateful that it’s finally over and I shut my laptop. “Okay fine, I’ll be ready in thirty minutes.”
He snorts as I hop up, and I immediately turn around putting my hands on my hips. “Try an hour,” he says with a laugh before turning on the television. I make a face at him before darting back to my room, determined to prove him wrong.
An hour and fifteen minutes later, we’re walking down the street in almost silence, zig-zagging through other pedestrians as we make our way to a restaurant a few blocks over for breakfast. It’s a warmer September day, allowing me to wear only a turtleneck tucked into a short mini skirt and my favorite knee-high boots. I’d watched as Bennett unashamedly ran his eyes up my legs before following me out the door. “Oh,” I interrupt our silence as we continue walking, “before I forget, I’ve been in touch with your assistant. I thought maybe she would have some insight to your cell phone password and she’s located your car and it’s currently being serviced at Range Rover.”
He shrugs and I frown at his lack of gratitude. I don’t see anyone else helping. “That’s an odd way to say thank you.”
“I’m just not in a rush to go back to the way things were. Wren said I needed to be taking it easy, so there’s no real need for me to go back to work right this second and I’m assuming I’m not pressed for more money than whatever sick leave I’m getting…” He trails off. “I’m not excited at the idea of returning to a life that doesn’t have you in it.” I look up at him and I wish he wasn’t wearing sunglasses so that I could see his eyes.
“But aren’t you curious about what’s been happening? What you’ve been doing at work and…I don’t know much about what you’ve been up to these past six months.” I frown, as I’m not really sure what he’s done. “I think you joined a kickball league or something with the guys at the office?”
“Sounds riveting.” He snorts, just as we round the corner to the restaurant.
His hand rests on the small of my back as we move inside, check in with the hostess, and move through the restaurant. It isn’t until we sit down and he pulls my chair out for me that he ends the contact. “Thank you.” I smile weakly at the hostess. My body is humming with how close Bennett was to me as we maneuvered through the restaurant with his hand resting protectively on my back. I take a sip of water, hoping it cools me down and puts out the fire within.
“Nice place,” he says as he looks around. We’ve been here more than a few times, but I know he doesn’t remember that. The restaurant has open air seating, and we have a table almost on the patio, allowing for us to look outside while a fall breeze surrounds us. The restaurant is trendy with a rustic concept and all types of people flock here since it was listed as one of the It places in SoHo.
“You like it,” I tell him and his eyes move back to mine.
“We’ve been here?”
“Many times.”
He looks down at the menu and then up at me. “What do I like?”
“Everything.” I giggle. “But your go to is the chicken and waf
fles or the eggs benedict or the western omelette… like I said you like all of it.”
He looks down at the menu and then back at me. “Why don’t you just order for me?” I roll my eyes before I stand up and he follows suit.
“I’m going to the ladies room, I’ll be back.” He nods and I make my way to the bathroom. I open my purse and unlock my phone only to see a text from Alyssa.
Lys: What are you doing today? Want to do something later?
My fingers hover over the keys, knowing that I’ll be prompted with a slew of questions if I tell her I’m on a date with my future ex-husband, so I avoid it for now.
Me: Nothing exciting. Will text you about later!
I slide my phone back in my purse and wash my hands before reapplying the bright red lip stain that I told myself I’d put on because it’s my favorite. And not because it’s also Bennett’s favorite.
Visions of seeing it all over his cock float across my mind and I let myself relish in the memory instead of trying to push it away. I press my fingertips to my lips as if I can still feel him there. His thick cock pushing through my lips and down my throat as a groan leaves his lips.
“Jesus Christ, Livi,” he growls as he grips my chin. It’s the first time I’ve given him head, and I’m nervous to be with someone I know is a bit more experienced than me. I’m not a virgin, but his list is quite a bit longer than mine. “No one has ever sucked my cock like that.”
I beam under his praise when he wipes my lips gently and pulls me off the ground and into his arms. “I like seeing your lipstick on me.”
“I like it, too.” I smile when his lips find my neck. He presses his tongue into the flesh and slides it up the skin until it finds my mouth. He snakes it inside and I can safely say I’ve never been with a man that kissed me directly after I’d blown him.
“Fuck. You taste like me.”
“Sorry…I can…” I try to get up when he tightens his grip.
“When did you hear me say that was a bad thing? I love that you taste like me, Olivia. It means you’re fucking mine.”
The sound of a stall door slamming breaks me out of my thoughts and a woman comes into view in the mirror. She gives me a concerned smile. “You okay?”
“Yeah…ummm…fine,” I tell her as I try to control my breathing.
She nods as she turns the water off and grabs a paper towel. “Well, if it’s about a guy, fuck him. You’re hot as fuck.” She giggles, as she puts a hand over her mouth. “In a total straight girl way. I’ve had a few mimosas.” She waves before she’s gone and I’m reminded of all the times I’ve bonded with drunk girls in the bathroom. I shake my head at the intoxicated stranger and make my way out of the bathroom when I hear my name from behind me.
I turn my head and I’m stunned as David moves closer. “Hi Olivia,” he says and I almost choke on my words.
“Hi…” I manage to get out despite being stunned over seeing him.
“I’m so glad I saw you.” He looks me up and down, pinning his eyes to my legs and my skin prickles for a very different reason than when Bennett did the same earlier.
I immediately look down the long empty hallway extremely grateful that he is nowhere in sight. “Did you follow me here? How did you know I was here?” I’d purposefully never brought him here because it felt like mine and Bennett’s place.
It is possible he just found the place on his own, Olivia. Don’t be dramatic.
“No. I saw you walking towards the bathroom and I wanted to see you. I’m here with some guys from work. Who are you here with? Alyssa?” he asks.
“It’s not your business who I’m here with, David. We aren’t together anymore.” I shake my head.
“Because of the other night? I’ll admit, I was a little taken aback that you didn’t respond to the flowers. Did you get them? You’re usually more polite than that.” He jokes and I roll my eyes at the passive aggressive comment.
“I got them, and they’re lovely, but it doesn’t change anything,” I say as direct as I can.
“Because of…him?” he spits out as he runs a hand through his blonde hair.
“Because of a lot of things, David. You didn’t even give me a chance to explain before you jumped all over me and determined that I was weak.”
I’m not about to tell him that I had already felt weak. That the walls I’d built around my heart are slowly crumbling under Bennett’s eyes and his words. My heart knows Bennett Clarke and is yearning for him on a level that my mind and body are trying to reject.
And failing.
I know there will be obstacles in giving Bennett another chance, and maybe I’ll keep him at arm’s length until he regains his memories, but I can see the potential for us in the future.
I just don’t know how far into the future.
“I was just angry, baby. I’m sorry.” His blue eyes don’t look quite the same as when I first met him. Blue eyes that were once filled with concern and compassion are now filled with ice and jealousy and betrayal.
But I hadn’t betrayed David. I hadn’t done anything!
Except fantasize about your ex-husband the few times he tried to fuck you.
I swallow, pushing those thoughts down further. “David, I’m so sorry. But you knew when you met me that I had baggage and…I was brokenhearted.”
“And now he’s back…”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t remember anything. The accident wiped away a lot of his memory and he doesn’t remember us being…estranged,” I finally confess, hoping that it clears up David thinking that we’re just back together.
He sighs and takes a step back. “So, what? How has anything changed on your end? So, he doesn’t remember? You do. How can you two reconcile when he has no idea what the hell he did in the first place?”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your fucking concern.” A voice thunders behind me and I squeeze my eyes shut, sending a silent prayer above that this doesn’t become a huge scene when Bennett appears next to me.
“It’s my concern because you fucked up. You cheated on her and she left you. You don’t get a second chance.”
I go to interject, that it isn’t his choice when Bennett speaks the very words I’m thinking. “Don’t you think that’s her call to make? Whether she does or does not is none of your goddamn business. And what are you even doing here? Are you following her?” I note his hands are balled into fists and his shoulders are tense as he takes a step closer to David.
“No, he’s not,” I say in an attempt to ease some of the tension that’s boiling between these two. I put my hand on his bicep, trying to pull him back slowly, though he doesn’t budge, but I can still tell that just my touch has him less stressed. Bennett has at least five inches and at least thirty pounds of muscle on David, and I know it wouldn’t be pretty for David if this came to blows. Bennett is no stranger to putting guys in their place who think that they can talk or even look at me a certain way, and the scene used to make my knees weak and my panties damp.
Not the time, Olivia.
He seems to calm slightly when he turns to look at me and then down at where I’m holding him back and David shakes his head sadly witnessing this small interaction.
“You sure you know what you’re doing? You’re too sweet and forgiving to see what’s happening here. Do you really think he deserves a second chance?”
Bennett snaps his gaze away from me and towards David, the fire returning to his eyes. “You know what? You need to move on because I’m taking my wife back.”
I gasp, not expecting him to say that. “Excuse me?!” I squeal as he begins to pull me away when David’s voice perks up.
“She doesn’t even want you!”
I groan at David’s provoking, wishing that this whole altercation could be over when Bennett lets my arm go. “Maybe not,” he growls, “but I don’t need you in the fucking way while I try.”
The rest of breakfast and the walk home is silent, and as soon as we get back up to the apartment, I do my
best to break the tension. “Are you upset?”
“No,” he says without another glance towards me as he heads to his room.
“Wait wait!” I run after him and stand in front of him. “I don’t buy that. Are you mad at me?”
His eyes wash over me and the sadness behind them is evident. “I can never be mad at you. Besides, you’re the one that’s mad at me…”
“I’m not,” I whisper and his eyes widen. “I just mean, not because of what happened at the restaurant. David isn’t an issue…we’re over.”
He’s silent and I can tell he’s mulling over my words. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” His hand reaches up and pulls the clip from my hair that was holding a few pieces back.
“You know you’re still the only man I’ve ever let play with my hair.” I giggle, trying my best to break the tension, but he doesn’t smile. He just stares at me, his fingers running through my strands like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.
“I won’t back down, Olivia.” He leans down, pressing his forehead against mine. I shut my eyes as he gently pulls away and his lips rest on my forehead. “I might have given you up once but I’m not doing it again.” His arms move around me and I’m surrounded by his cologne that used to be permanently ingrained in my skin as he presses me against the wall. “I know I don’t deserve you. Your love. Your forgiveness…” He trails off. My heart begins to pound in my chest as the words sit on the tip of my tongue that maybe he doesn’t deserve it, but it won’t stop me from giving them to him. “But I’m still begging for it.”
I don’t speak. I just melt in his arms, fully prepared to let him take the lead wherever he wants to take us. “Tell me to stop.” He cups my face, forcing me to look up into his eyes. “Tell me to stop,” he repeats and I lick my lips in response, unsure of what it is I want next year, or next month or even tomorrow, but I do know I need his lips on mine now.