Forget Me Not

by Tyler, Q. B.

  His eyes darken at my greeting and then his arms are wrapping around my waist as I try to pull away, stifling the giggle bubbling in my throat as my boss speaks into the phone.

  “Olivia?” I hear her voice and I finally succumb to sitting in Bennett’s lap.

  “Mrs. Clarke,” he growls into my neck as he continues to kiss my neck.

  “Yes…yes, sorry here!” I swat Bennett away. “Hey Jess, what can I do for you?”

  “I know you’re still on leave, but I was hoping you could come in for a while today, there’s a meeting you need to sit in on.”

  I look at the man underneath me, who’s somewhat behaving and gives me a smile. “Well….” I struggle to answer.

  “Please, Olivia, two hours tops.”

  I purse my lips. “Okay,” I nod. It isn’t that I think Bennett can’t be alone; I know he’ll be fine. But I’m enjoying our time in our bubble and I hate the idea of leaving it. I hate the idea of being away from him.

  Oh Jesus, I remember what this was like.

  It’s like when we first started dating all over again. For the first few months, Bennett and I were attached at the hip. We rarely spent any time apart, except when we had to. We fell in love hard and fast, soft and slow. Every day it felt different. Every day felt like an adventure. He became my best friend and my other half and being away from him made me feel incomplete. Bennett felt the same which is how I ended up moving in with him after only seven months.

  I get off the phone after I let her know when I’ll be making my appearance. “You’re leaving?” he asks before pressing his lips to my shoulder. “Work?”

  “Yes,” I tell him. “But I won’t be long.” I bite my lip.

  “I understand. I’ll be fine. I’ll survive without you, I think.” He chuckles. “Though I do need a taste to hold me over while you’re gone.” Within seconds, I’m on my back and my legs are wrapped around him.

  “I thought you weren’t ready to put your mouth on my cunt?” I give him a cheeky smile and he groans at my sinful words.

  He grips my thighs spreading them open and rips my panties completely off. I squeal, both over the fact that he just destroyed a ninety dollar thong and that it grazed my clit when he ripped them from me. “Bennett! Those were expensive, you caveman! You couldn’t just slide them down nicely?”

  “Shut the fuck up, Olivia. Now is not the time for your smart mouth.” He growls as he stares down at my bare pussy. He tosses the ruined lace over his shoulder and I swear it’s like he’s not even breathing. He leans down kissing the top of my right thigh followed by my left before moving his lips inward to kiss the skin right above my sex.

  I swallow, my mind, body, and heart completely aware of the intensity of this moment. “Fuck, what was I thinking?” And I don’t know if he’s talking to himself or me, but I see a fleeting moment of regret and pain cross his face. I run my hand through his hair and cup his face, making him look up at me.

  It’s okay, I mouth.

  He shakes his head as if to say no, it’s not. Before he presses a kiss to my palm that’s still cupping his face. He moves my hand from his cheek to the back of my head and shoots me a grin. “You know what to do.”

  He drags his nose up my slit, inhaling my scent and my body begins to build. “You smell the same. I know your scent, and it’s the same as it was two years ago,” he whispers, closing his eyes and taking another deep breath.

  The air leaves my lungs as he flattens his tongue and slides it through my sex, stopping at my clit to flick the bundle with the tip of his tongue. Oh my God, how did I forget what this felt like? I run my hand through his hair, pulling gently on the strands and he groans against me.

  “Let me hear you, baby.” He nibbles on my clit as I let my eyes flutter closed, riding the wave of Bennett’s mouth. I feel his tongue trace me from base to my clit, working his tongue in and out of my pussy every time he passed over my opening. He licks me hard and fast, like he’s desperate for more of my arousal and I feel it pouring out of me, trickling down my crack and marking the sheets underneath me.

  “Clarke!” I cry out when he bares his teeth and nibbles gently on my clitoris. “Oh God,” I rub the back of his head, pushing him harder against me and locking my legs around his neck. “Fuck fuck fuck.” I grit my teeth, knowing that Bennett’s tongue can make me say a lot of things when I’m on the edge of my climax and I’m not ready to tell him I love him.

  Even if I do.

  Even if I have tapped into that part of me that still loves him. I can’t tell him that yet.

  A hard pinch to my clit has me crying out and I look down to see him looking up at me, his mouth buried between the lips of my sex. He pulls back slightly. “I can hear you thinking.”

  “I…I am not.” I let out a breath, and sit up slightly, putting a pillow behind my back so I can watch Bennett in one of the many ways he used to worship me.

  I slide my legs over his shoulder and my feet instantly point on their own, feeling the end nearing. I can see the smile in his eyes, knowing all of my signs when I’m close, and my mouth drops open, but it’s as if I’m frozen. Nothing comes out, I don’t breathe, I barely even think as Bennett’s eyes lock with mine.

  “Fuck, eating your pussy still gets me fucking hard as stone.” He says and I note him grinding his pelvis into the mattress.

  My eyes water slightly, the tingle in my sex spreading throughout my entire body and a lone tear slides down my face. I don’t make a move to wipe it, my body paralyzed by the feeling he’s inflicting between my legs. He slides two fingers inside my cunt as he continues to lap at my clit and I can feel the metal of his ring inside me. I used to love when he’d fuck me with his ring finger, his metal heating my insides, reminding me that my husband loved me more than anything.

  Our eyes stay locked until the very end when I begin to come and my entire body feels like it explodes. My legs snap closed around Bennett’s head as my eyes flutter shut, a bright light flashing behind my eyelids as my orgasm seems to go on forever.

  “I, Bennett, take you, Olivia, to be my lawful wedded wife.

  …To have and to hold

  …For richer or poorer

  …In sickness and health

  …Forever and ever

  …this life and the one after.”

  My eyes pop open and I realize I’m lying on my back, having sent the pillow God knows where, and my entire body feels loose and boneless. I look back down between my legs to see Bennett gazing up at me, the lower half of his face still wet with my arousal, and a smile across his face.

  “Holy shit,” I whisper.

  “Holy shit,” he repeats, “did you black out?”

  “I…” I’m suddenly freezing, a shiver shooting through my body, and I don’t know if it’s just because I’m feeling vulnerable after that flashback, but I push my shirt down over my sex and move my legs from around him.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks as he moves up the bed and sits next to me. He rubs his mouth before he licks his lips and then I’m in his arms, his hand stroking my back.

  “I…I don’t know what that was.” I grab his left hand, rubbing my finger over his wedding band.

  “Let’s get your rings later, okay?” He presses his lips to my temple and my sex pulses when I smell my arousal on his face. “When you get home from work, we’ll go over to my apartment? I assume you know where it is?”

  I nod, not looking up at him, my eyes still fixated on his ring.

  “Are you ready to wear them?” he asks me and I press my face into his neck, not wanting to leave this embrace ever.

  “I…I don’t know. I think I’m confused…” I press my hands to my face. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to jerk you around,” I whisper. “In here…yes. I’m reminded of how things were and I want them again…” I look at the window. “But so much has happened. We’re sixty days from our divorce being final…”

  “We call it off.”

  “Your mom still hates me.”


  “I’ll deal with my mother.”

  “She’s a problem, Bennett, and it’s not just going to miraculously fix itself because you want me back.”

  “I said I’ll deal with her.”

  I sigh. “You were with another woman.” I look up at him. “That kills me.”

  “You were with another man. You think that doesn’t kill me?” He responds quickly and I can see the pain all over his face.

  “That’s not even a little bit fair, Bennett.” I struggle to get out of his arms and he lets me go. I begin to pace my bedroom. “You left me first.”

  “What do you want me to say, Olivia? I don’t fucking remember that.”

  “Well, maybe it would be easier if you did.”

  “Why? What would make me remembering that I cheated on you any better?”

  The words make me wince, not because they’re particularly harsh, but hearing them just makes for an unbearable pain in my chest. “I’m surprised your girlfriend hasn’t tried to track you down.” I frown when I remember that he hadn’t been able to get into his phone since the accident.

  “Ashley is irrelevant,” Bennett snaps.

  “Amanda,” I correct him.

  “Do you think I give a fuck?” He gets up and stands in front of me. “Do you still love me?”

  “Bennett…” I trail off.

  “Yes or no.” I’m silent and he takes a step back. “Yes or no?” he repeats.

  “It’s complicated.”

  “The fuck it is.”

  “Saying I love you doesn’t just make everything better. It doesn’t erase the betrayal, Bennett.”

  “I know there’s still something between us, Olivia.”

  “Sex?” I snort. “Yeah, no shit. You can still make me come, congratulations.” I know I’m lashing out, but I’m angry that he thinks that a few orgasms and telling me he loves me makes everything better. That he doesn’t understand that lies and betrayal and infidelity are tied up in our marriage, and although he doesn’t remember that, I still do.

  I remember crying myself to sleep night after night. Drinking myself almost comatose more than once. I remember Alyssa coming over and forcing me into the shower. My mother forcing food down my throat. I remember the fleeting thoughts that maybe things would be easier if I could just not feel anymore. I remember the sleeping pills and the Xanax I’d essentially prescribed myself after stealing one of Alyssa’s prescription sheets.

  The thing about this heartbreak is it consumed my life. Sometimes all I could do was focus on my breathing from one second to the next. And the time between those seconds where I was forced to take another breath felt like an eternity.

  I’d been broken in the wake of his betrayal and only in the past month had I started feeling like myself only to potentially be thrust back into our relationship again.

  “I’m scared you’ll do it to me again. What happens the next time I shut down, or shut you out, or hell, what if I can’t ever have children? I take responsibility for my shitty communication skills, but we can’t know what the future holds and I can’t be panicking that you’re going to stick your dick into someone else the second you can’t handle your marriage.”

  “You want to talk about not being fair…?”

  I put up my hand, stopping him. “The only reason you say it’s not fair is because you can’t remember. It doesn’t mean shit, Bennett. It was still you. You’re not a different person. You’re still the man that broke my heart.”

  His shoulders sag and his head lowers in defeat. “So, that’s it? I thought…”

  “I didn’t say no to…” I swallow. “But you backing me into a corner when I’m still trying to get an understanding of my feelings isn’t helping.”

  “I would never cheat on you. I don’t…I swear it will never happen again; I know it doesn’t mean much. But the idea that I even did in the first place makes me sick.” He’s in my space, running his hands up my arms. “I love you…so fucking much.”

  “I know you do.”

  “Will you ever love me again?” he asks and my heart pounds in my chest as I think about what I should say.

  “I do love you,” I tell him, and his eyes light up at my words. “But…I love me too, and you don’t even want to know what the last six months have been like. I wouldn’t survive losing you a second time.”

  I drop to my chair after perhaps the most mind-numbingly boring meeting of my life. And after the interaction with Bennett earlier, my head feels like it’s about to explode. I became mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted the second my body came down from the high brought on by Bennett’s mouth.

  Sex is easy. It’s everything else that’s complicated.

  I’m about to call Alyssa and vent and eventually confess to the fact that Bennett has spent more time between my legs the last twelve hours than not, when my assistant peeks her head in my office. “Hey,” she whispers.

  Holly is a recent college graduate with a penchant for fashion but also for sleeping with married men, so naturally, I side eye her.

  “I’m not here.” I groan.

  “You sure? Because your sex on a stick boyfriend sure is.” My head jerks up, slightly irritated that she referred to Bennett as one, my boyfriend when no one in the office had any idea what had been going on obviously, and two, sex on a stick. I can feel the green blaring in my gaze as I narrow my eyes.

  What is Bennett even doing here anyways?

  Apologize?

  Kiss and makeup?

  Fuck and makeup?

  No, Liv. No sex!

  “Fine, send him back.”

  I’m instantly reminded of all the times Bennett showed up at my office for an afternoon fuck.

  My door opens and shuts, and before I can tell my intruder that now really isn’t the time, a familiar cologne surrounds me.

  “Hey baby.” My eyes dart up to see Bennett Clarke, the man I’d been married to for the past two months looking deliciously sexy and moving towards me like he’s a jaguar and I’m a gazelle and he’s ready to fucking pounce.

  “What…what are you doing here?” I let out a breath as he spins me around in my boss’ chair. She’s currently out on maternity leave and I’ve been put in charge in her absence, which means I got out of my cubicle and into her swanky office.

  “You sent me a picture of your bare cunt and you have the audacity to ask me what I’m doing here? The better question is why aren’t you already naked? I walked out of a fucking meeting when I got your message.”

  “I didn’t…”

  “Didn’t what? Want me to come? Bullshit.” He lowers his face to be in line with mine and his tongue darts out to lick my bottom lip. “You rang the alarm the second you sent me a photo with your phone between your legs.” I lick my bottom lip, desperate for a taste of his tongue and I watch in fascination as he unbuckles his belt. “Are you still naked under there?”

  I nod once.

  “And what am I supposed to think about my sexier than sin wife running around exposing the cunt that belongs to me to the entire fucking ninth floor?”

  “I… my dress isn’t that short and it’s tight…” I stammer.

  “Hmmm.” His eyes are wicked as he raises my dress to my waist revealing my naked pelvis. “Fucking beautiful.” He lowers his pants to the ground before he spins me around. “Grip the desk.” I do as he says, hoping to God he had the foresight to lock the door but already too far gone to care when he holds his hand out in front of my face. “Spit.”

  “What?”

  “In my hand. Right now.”

  “I’ve been wet since you walked in, trust me I’m ready.” I chuckle.

  “I’m not talking about your pussy,” he says, his voice low and sinister.

  “Clarke…” I’m not a stranger to anal sex. Bennett and I had explored that pretty early on in our relationship, but I’m not exactly thrilled at the idea of doing it in my boss’ office.

  “Ah ah ah. You tested the beast, and he came out. So be a
good girl and spit in my hand so I can wet my cock. Now.”

  I bite my bottom lip before I lower my face to his hand and do as he says. Some spit dribbles down my chin and he collects it with his hand before it disappears. “Nasty girl.” He growls behind me and I whimper at his words. I look over my shoulder to see him spit into his hand as well, before he slides his hand up and down his cock. “Can you be quiet?”

  “While you fuck my ass? Unlikely, Clarke.”

  His hand lands on my ass making a loud smack bounce off the walls of the quiet room. I bite my lip again to avoid squealing. “I suggest you try to keep it quiet. No one gets to hear you come but me, and I’ll be pissed if you let all of Conde Nast know that you’re in here letting your husband fuck your ass on your boss’ desk.” I feel his dick at my hole. “Breathe, baby.” I let out a breath as he pushes his way into my ass. It still feels foreign having something so big back there no matter how many times we have done it. I feel so full and I let out another shaky breath as he bottoms out and begins to move. “Jesus Christ, your ass, Olivia.” He runs his hand down my back, his fingertips tapping each vertebra on my spine before reaching the space just above my asshole.

  “Don’t come in my ass, I’m wearing a thong and it’ll take divine intervention for that to keep all your cum in place.”

  He chuckles before something comes flying over my shoulder. “Good thing I keep a pair of your panties on me at all times.”

  The sound of the door opening breaks me out of one of the many times Bennett and I had defiled Conde Nast property. I’m fluffing my hair, preparing for his entrance when I realize it’s not Bennett.

  “David?” I blink my eyes several times trying to convince myself that it isn’t a big deal that he’s popping up again. “What…what are you doing here?

  “I came to see you.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes as he pushes a hand through his blond hair. “How are you?” He shuts the door behind him and stands in front of it, seemingly blocking my only exit.