Where the Heart Is (Hearts Series Book 1)

by L. S. Pullen

  “I thought it was you. Did I just see Soph walking away? How is she?”

  I grind my teeth. Is this idiot kidding me? I nod as an involuntary shudder escapes me. Nate’s hand moves to the small of my back, rubbing small circles to steady me.

  “Hmm, you mean after you walked away from her? Or do you mean figuratively speaking? Don’t answer that, you have no right even asking. So, let’s cut the crap. What brings you here?” I say, my breathing accelerated. I clench my fists, my nails digging into my palms with no mercy.

  He shakes his head. “It-it wasn’t like that…but if you must know, I was just picking up—”

  “His fiancé,” says a nasally voice, as she clutches his arm, staking her claim.

  My senses are assaulted by the overpowering whiff of her perfume. I cough, trying to dispel the taste. Her hand is limp, flashing the most ghastly engagement ring I’ve ever seen.

  “Dawn,” she says, in way of introduction.

  As if I should know who she is. I couldn’t give a shit, not while she’s looking at Nate like she is ready to eat him up. She looks him over before licking her lips and pushing out her chest.

  “Come along, darling, we really must go. I need to get to the hall…there is still so much to organise for tomorrow.”

  He nods, his obedience evident.

  She turns away not so elegantly; he trails behind her. What a pretentious bitch. I look at James’ retreating back. You reap what you sow—karma is a bitch.

  Nate whispers into my ear, the hairs on the back of my neck rising. “Awkward, much?”

  “No shit, Sherlock,” I reply, unable to keep the agitation from my voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap…it’s just I never expected to see him. I need to check on Sophie.”

  He kisses me on my temple softly and pulls me closer.

  “No apology necessary, come on.” He leads me away.

  As we approach, I see her laughing at something Charlie is saying, and it softens my heart. He has such a gentle approach with her. I’ve never seen it before, other than with me.

  “Hey, how you doing?” I ask.

  Her eyes dart between Nate and Charlie. She shrugs and her bottom lip quivers.

  “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m thirsty, anyone else want a drink?” asks Charlie—to the rescue once again.

  “I could. I’ll come with,” Nate replies.

  I’ve never been more grateful in my life. Who says all men were born in the stupid factory? I try not to laugh at my own thoughts, or the memory of a pencil case Nate bought me with boys were made in the stupid factory written all over it…after he accidently sat on my pencil set and broke my favourite pencils.

  Sophie and me both shake our heads as they leave us alone.

  “Shit, Sophie… right after you left, that fucker walked right over to me.”

  She purses her lips. “Don’t swear. I thought he saw us, but I was grateful for Charlie’s piss poor excuse to get me away from there, so I didn’t have to find out.” She rings her hands in her lap.

  “There’s more to Charlie than maybe even I gave him credit for. You knew about the engagement, didn’t you?” I ask. It’s all beginning to add up now—the accidental overdose.

  She nods and looks away. “I heard a rumour, but I wasn’t sure, so I scouted Facebook and sure enough…” She looks up at me, guilt crossing her face.

  “This is why you were so upset, wasn’t it? When you ended up in hospital…”

  Shame fills her face, her eyes filling with tears. A whimper escapes her, and I step forward, pulling her into my arms. Her body shakes through the tears.

  “I know what happened to us was bad enough, but when he ended it with me afterward, a piece of me shattered. It’s as though all that hope and self-belief I had disappeared with his love. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again—I’ll always be broken.”

  I hug her tighter, knowing how she feels. Not exactly, but more than most. It’s why I’m so frightened to open up to Nate and risk it not working out—when he leaves me, there’ll be no coming back from it.

  “You’re the strongest person I know. Every day, you get up, and you fight—no matter what. I understand, though, it’s one of my fears with Nate. He could break my heart just as easily.”

  She pulls back that stiff upper lip of hers, and stands, squaring her shoulders. “He is nothing like James.” She sniffs back her tears, gaining control of her emotions.

  “No, of course not, but I’m only human—I can’t help but have reservations. I mean, not to drag it up, but you were so close with James before—”

  She shakes her head. “Listen, I know what I had with him was one-sided on my part. And do you know what? It’s all right. I would want someone who loves me the way I love them. I don’t want to talk about him. Not anymore, he doesn’t deserve the satisfaction. Look how you’ve started to open up to Nate. He hasn’t done a runner. He’s still here, holding fast. For that alone, the man deserves the benefit of the doubt.”

  “I worry I’m just not ready.”

  An all-knowing grin appears. “I don’t buy it, and if I didn’t know better, I’d even say you’ve slept with him.”

  I look away. “Is it that obvious?”

  She slaps my arm. “I wasn’t sure, but something about you was different. How was it?”

  “It was more than I could have imagined. When it’s just the two of us, he makes me almost forget about everything else but him.”

  “Baby got back. I’m glad you finally got laid again. I didn’t want you to shrivel up.”

  It’s my turn to slap her arm. “For someone who detests swearing, you have a potty mouth. You sure as hell don’t have any problems talking about sex…”

  She winks. “It’s all part of the circle of life. So, did he…you know…make you come?”

  I shake my head. My face radiates my embarrassment as we break out into a fit of giggles until our eyes water and my sides hurt.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  I begged Flick to come to my room once everyone else was in bed. She was so reluctant, I thought she wasn’t going to.

  My door opening tells me I was wrong. I release a sigh as the uncertainty escapes me.

  She locks it behind her, the soft scent of apples floating across my face. I don’t give her a chance to say anything as I rush to her and take her face in my hands. Her eyes are glassy from the alcohol.

  I push her against the door, leaning into her body until my mouth claims hers. She parts her lips. The kiss is slow and sweet. I could kiss her for an eternity and still want more. I pull back enough for us to catch our breath, my temple against hers. Her sweet breath caresses my lips.

  “Wow.” She lets out in a small huff of a whisper.

  I move back and kiss the tip of her nose.

  “Sometimes when I’m around you, it’s like I can’t breathe.”

  Worry settles in the pit of my stomach. “I never want you to feel like I’m suffocating you.” I move away, only keeping my hands on her shoulders.

  “I don’t mean it in a bad way. You knock me off my axis, and then, in one swift move, you breathe life back into me. And it’s like I’m aligned again. It scares me—how you make me feel without even trying.”

  I take her hand to lead her over to my bed and pull her into my lap.

  I stroke my thumb over her velvety pink lips. “I know how strong I’m coming across, how this may seem sudden. But deep down, I always had hope. You found your way back to me. Since the moment you told me you wanted to marry me in our tree house, it’s only ever been you. It will always be you.”

  Her body hums with warmth. She takes my hand in hers, linking our fingers. “I tried to pluck up the courage so many times to come back, but the longer I stayed away, the harder it became. I never thought it possible to feel this connection with you—not after everything…”

  I pinch myself to make sure she’s real, and not a figment of my imagination.

  “We can take it slow… I want
to show you how we can be. Let me take you to dinner, the movies. In the words of my Gramps…let me woo you.” I squeeze her waist.

  Her shy smile melts the very heart of me.

  “But what if whatever this is between us is just a fluke?”

  I look at her face. What I feel is no passing fluke, and there’s no denying the sexual chemistry.

  “Not possible. I don’t want to scare you, but you are it for me. I’m not the most patient man, but for you, I can wait. I’ll give you time if that’s what you need.”

  Her vulnerability hurts my insides. She bites her lip, the worry evident.

  “I mean it. I’d wait a thousand lifetimes if I had to, but tonight, will you stay? I just want to hold you.”

  She smiles, her dimple prominent. “I’d like that,” she whispers.

  I scoot her off my lap and pull the covers back. We both snuggle down, and she rolls to her side, facing me, tracing the lines of my face with feather-light fingertips. I harden beneath her touch but keep my lower body away from her.

  “Sophie told me today how she felt broken—like a piece of her would always feel that way. She gave James all her firsts, and when the going got tough, he left her in the worse way possible.”

  “Charlie and I gathered as much. What a fool. Did you notice how protective Charlie was over her?”

  “I did. He’s the kind of man I want her to end up with. Don’t you think they’d make a nice couple?”

  I let out a chuckle. “No comment. I have enough to worry about with you. Though I’d pay good money to see Charlie smitten.”

  I sit up, I almost forgot. “I have something for you,” I say, as I run over to my wardrobe and pull out the gift bag.

  “Really?” She sits up legs crossed, suspicion clouding her features.

  “Yes, really,” I say, sitting in front of her and placing the bag between us.

  She looks to the bag, then back to me.

  “It won’t bite—they’re presents I got you, in the hopes you’d come back over Christmas.”

  She tucks her chin in, hair falling over her face. I tuck it behind her ear and cup her cheek.

  “Don’t go all shy on me, just open it.”

  She dips her hand in, her tongue poking out the corner of her mouth as she retrieves one wrapped in newspaper.

  “Novelty present,” she says, smiling.

  I send her a wink. “You got it.”

  Delicate fingers rip at the edges of the paper to reveal a PG tip monkey and a box of tea bags. She bursts out into a fit of giggles—this girl loves her tea.

  “I love you, monkey,” she says in small, northern accent, hugging it.

  I pull out the next one. She doesn’t mess about this time when she takes it from me and rips off the paper, scrunching up her nose.

  “A troll doll?” She pulls at the pink Mohawk, holding back her laughter.

  “I know, right? It was in the garage when I was getting fuel—there was no way I wasn’t getting it for you. You used to collect them, remember?”

  She smiles, and that’s when I see her—the Flick I used to know. She’s about to say something, but I hold up my finger.

  “There’s one more,” I say, and reach back into the bag.

  She looks heavenward, as if annoyed, but I see the sparkle in her eyes.

  I hold out the blue bag, her expression priceless.

  “This is your real present.”

  Her throat bobs up and down as she gingerly takes the bag hanging off my fingers. Hands shaking, she dips inside the small bag and pulls out a little blue box tied with ice-white ribbon. She pulls the bow loose and opens the box, to reveal a small, drawstring bag. She pulls at the strings and peers inside, turning the bag upside down on her palm.

  Silver sparkles back at us.

  I take it from her hand and hold each end. Opening the clasp, I signal to her wrist. She holds it up, and I fasten it before spinning it round.

  She’s silent as she looks at it. Her eyes spring to mine then back to the bracelet. It’s an infinity charm. She rolls her finger over it before moving to her knees and throwing her arms around my neck. She pulls back, giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.

  “It’s beautiful, Nate, but it’s too much. You shouldn’t have, but I love it, thank you.”

  I watch her smile as she lies back down, admiring the bracelet on her wrist. Relief floods me. I’m glad she loves it.

  I wake to the first orange-hued rays of sunrise as it floods the room, casting a warm glow over Flick. I run my fingers over her hair, then stroke down the arch of her nose, then down over her soft, supple lips. Her mouth curves into a smile.

  Eyes closed, she asks, “are you watching me sleep?”

  “Maybe,” I say and run my fingers over her collarbone.

  “That’s not creepy,” she replies, as she opens her eyes and stretches her arms.

  Her hand brushes over my morning glory. Her eyes flutter to my face she swallows and licks her lips.

  She springs out of bed. “I’ll be right back,” she calls, jogging to the bathroom.

  When she returns, she climbs back in next to me like it’s the most natural thing in the world, smelling all minty.

  I tap her on the nose. “Did you brush your teeth?” I ask

  “Maybe,” she whispers.

  I hop out of bed and run off to brush mine, too, adjusting myself, so I don’t piss all over the ceiling.

  When I return, her eyes are closed as if she’s sleeping. “Flick?”

  She doesn’t say anything as I climb up the bed and slowly pull the cover down. Her chest rises—her breaths growing heavier.

  I give one quick lick of my tongue up her thigh.

  “Whoa,” she says, her eyes springing open.

  “Oh sorry, did I wake you?” I say, in no way apologetic as I trail kisses all over each thigh. She wriggles at the contact.

  “Did you want me to stop?”

  I push up on my hands, ready to sit up, but her hand finds my head, stilling me. My lips return to her skin as I pepper her with even more kisses, licking as I move to her inner thigh. Her legs fall open, while she laces her fingers through my hair.

  “Anytime you want me to stop, just say the word, you know the drill,” I whisper as I push up her nightshirt and pull down her shorts. Returning to her centre, I blow on her clit.

  She lets out a cross between a whimper and a moan. Before I lose the will to live, I take one, long lick and insert a finger. My mouth moves over her clit. Her response to me is captivating as she stiffens, her hand tightening in my hair.

  My name rolls off her tongue as she comes.

  I hover over her and capture her lips with mine. I insert another finger, hitting the spot she seems to like so much. She pulls away from my lips, panting.

  “Ahh, again.” Her eyes roll into the back of her head. “Stop,” she says. I pull my fingers almost all the way out.

  Her eyes spring open.

  “Nate, don’t fucking stop.”

  I laugh and thrust them back inside her, hard and fast.

  “I want you,” she says, hands now gripping my arse.

  “You’ve got me,” I reply, with a grunt.

  “No, I want you.”

  She cups my balls and squeezes, almost disarming me. She moves her hand up and under the waistband of my shorts to pull them down. I roll onto my back and push them the rest of the way down and past my ankles. She moves to her side and takes my length in her hand. I raise my head to watch as she slides her hand up and down my shaft. It’s too much. I slam my head back against the pillow.

  I open my eyes as she straddles me. She dips her head and licks just the tip.

  “Flick, no, you don’t have to—”

  Her lips close around my tip before she takes me in her mouth. My whole body shudders.

  She does this thing with her tongue and teases my balls. I feel like I am about to lose it. I take her by the shoulders and push her back. She releases me.

  “I need t
o be inside you,” I say.

  She sits up and leans over to kiss me on my lips. I hold her face between my hands. I feel her take me in her hand, and releasing her lips from mine, she gently lowers herself onto me. A unified sigh escapes us as she places her hands on my shoulders. I hold onto her hips as she slowly, and torturously begins to ride me. She sinks further onto me—all the way to the hilt. It feels so damn good. My eyes spring open.

  “Fuck, condom,” I croak out.

  She stills on top of me. “I’ve been tested, I promise I’m clean.” A look of utter mortification engulfs her face as she blinks back tears.

  “Hey,” I say, sitting up which only makes the feeling of being inside her more intense. I suck in a breath and lift her chin until her eyes meet mine. “That wasn’t what I meant. This feeling right here,” I say, as I move upwards inside her. “Is like heaven. You’re my heaven.”

  She shakes her head, trying to hold back tears. “I just thought because of you know… I’m sorry.”

  I pull her face down and kiss her cheekbones, her nose, and her lips.

  “Never apologise. Having no barrier between us is bliss, but not at the risk of getting you pregnant.”

  “I’m on the pill,” she says, hopeful.

  I grow harder. “Well, in that case, I’m still good if you are?”

  She begins to move, letting me know she is.

  I forget about everything, worshiping every inch of her sweet body. I have never felt a connection like this, not with anyone. She’s the only girl I would ever allow myself to not use protection with, and I want to keep it that way. Everything about her is exactly as it should be—insecurities and all. I inhale her scent, and look at her face, committing it to memory. She’s the girl I want to grow old with. Now all I have to do is wait until she accepts that, too.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  A distant noise rumbles away in the background. I let out a groan and stretch, my arm connecting with soft tissue. I squint my eyes open just as Flick lets out a yawn. I smile. Damn, she looks good.