by Jenn Vakey
I had to know before I could decide how to continue.
But as I always tended to do, I opened my mouth without thinking. “That one didn't seem to take much effort at all.”
Now it was his turn to look confused. Just like I had been when he used the same line on me minutes earlier. Dammit. I really needed to learn how to filter what I said. I should have just acted grateful. Clueless. Even answering his silent question was going to risk destroying all rapport I had managed to build. Crap, too late now.
“Lying to me,” I said, then turned and looked back out at the woods ahead. There was a reason I never told anyone that I was good at picking up lies. There wasn't much that offended someone more than being called a liar. Even when they were. All I could really do now was wait for the fallout. I knew it was coming.
“Who was your superior with the Healers?” he asked sharply.
“Healer Robyns,” I answered without delay. I still couldn't look at him. I knew that wasn't going to be the end of it. It was already clear that he wasn't a trusting person.
“What are the symptoms prior to Pulse?”
That one actually made me smile. “Trick question. Pulse isn't real. But the training with the Healers says it first shows with exhaustion in the hours leading up to it. Lack of appetite. The desire to be alone. The increased heart rate causes headaches, sweating, and dizziness. Then they go to sleep and never wake up.”
“What is a BRS?”
“Blood replenishment system,” I said. “Although also a trick question, as it is an outdated piece of technology that hasn't been used in the past two years.”
“What–”
I held up my hand to stop him. As fun as it was to prove him wrong, I had a feeling this was going to go on for a while. “I wanted to be a Grower, but I was tested into Healer. My sister trained as a Maker. Both her desired and where she tested. I grew up Sentry section, as Dallin, my stepfather, is a Sentry. That still didn't stop him from trying to help us when we told him about Lillith’s abilities. In my bag, there were eight different kinds of patches. I also had bone pills, skin gel, bandages, a laser scalpel–which wasn't easy to walk away with–and canisters with antiseptic spray. I performed my first solo surgery last year on a pregnant woman. A cesarean. She had a little boy.”
I stopped to take a breath, pushing my anger down. I was supposed to be earning his trust, and I was fairly certain I had effectively destroyed any chance of that. Adler wasn't going to be happy.
“Are you satisfied?” I asked, finally turning back to face him.
He looked so angry, so untrusting. “No,” he said firmly. “Unless you're Tainted, which you wouldn't have hidden, the only way someone can pick up on lies like that is if they've been trained.”
“So are you a former Sentry?” I bit back, knowing the damage had already been done at this point. “Because you had no problem telling when I was holding something back.”
“That's not the same,” he said, shaking his head.
I stood and shifted my body toward him, folding my arms. I’d had enough of this. I didn't care how important this guy was around here. I really didn't like him. “Sure it is. I knew you were lying because I'm good at knowing when people are. Always have been. It’s not hard when you pay attention. And for the record, it was actually a benefit as a Healer. People don't always like to be upfront about the embarrassing details.”
I didn't know it was possible, but his body seemed to tense even more. Like only a person with secrets would do when faced with the possibility of them being uncovered. Little did he know that I didn’t need to be good at recognizing lies to know what they were. “I don't trust you.”
Definitely not a lie.
“I don't care,” I said, my voice starting to grow louder. “If you want me to leave, fine. Just tell me where a safe place for me to stay is, give me some of my Healer supplies back, and I'll go. I came here to be with my sister because I couldn't stand the thought of being away from her. But she's gone.”
I didn't realize how loud I was actually talking until the final word came off and I had to fight to catch my breath. I couldn't even remember the last time I had been upset like that. It wasn't allowed in Eden. Not in public. And, damn, it felt good to get it out.
All he seemed to be able to do was stare at me. It wasn't the same as before, though. His eyes softened just slightly. Not enough to even be noticeable had I not been holding his gaze and watched it happen.
“Some of the supplies?”
His question caught me off guard, and I doubt I was successful in keeping that from showing. So I nodded. “It would be a waste for me to take them just for me.”
He didn't say anything after that. Several tense seconds passed and then he just turned and walked away.
I let out a frustrated groan and spun around so I could sit back down. I had messed that up so badly. Lillith’s life was in my hands, and I just blew any chance I had of getting her back. In fact, I was pretty sure I just got myself kicked out of Alkwin all together.
I knew I should probably go back myself, especially after he told me I wasn't supposed to be there, but I just couldn't. Not just because he wanted me to. Instead, I dropped my face down into my hands and cried.
I missed her so much that I could feel it throughout my entire body. Like there were hands inside of me that were squeezing my heart to the point that I almost didn't think I could go on. If anything happened to her, I honestly didn't think I would have it in me to continue on.
Right now, all I could really do was sit here and wait for him to show back up with my bag. To tell me to leave and never come back. Then I would have no choice but to tell Adler how to get to Alkwin. But could I really do that? Could I risk a hundred lives to save one? I wanted to, but I didn't think I could. The only hope I really had was biting my tongue and apologizing. Begging for him to let me stay. Either that or go back to Eden and try to find my sister myself.
I pushed my eyes closed when I heard footsteps behind me, waiting to hear his voice telling me that I had to go. When no sounds came, I built up my courage and turned around. But the eyes looking at me now weren't those green ones I had been expecting. They were light brown.
“Rhydian sent me to tell you it's almost time for dinner,” Aarys said, tossing her head back in the direction she had come from.
I stood, dusting the back of my pants off as I turned to face her. Not what I was expecting, but I wasn't going to complain. I was starving.
“Who's Rhydian?”
Aarys waited for me to reach her before turning and walking back to Alkwin. “The guy who carried you in.”
The answer surprised me. I guess he wasn't planning on kicking me out after all. He also didn't question that I was still sitting out there. Maybe he trusted me a little after all. At least enough to let me stay out there for as long as he had before sending Aarys to retrieve me.
“He doesn't like me very much,” I told her.
Aarys shrugged, not looking even slightly surprised. “Don't take it personally. He's had a hard week. But don't tell him I told you that. He likes his privacy.”
I nodded. I was the last person to fault anyone for having a foul mood after a hard week. I think that was a large part of why I talked to him the way I had. Sometimes you just needed an outlet. I seemed to be his. To be fair, he was also mine.
I wanted to ask more, but I knew it wasn't my place. Just like I didn't want everyone else talking about my problems. So I just let it go.
Aarys led me straight to the dining hall. There were already so many people there when I walked in. If I had to guess, I'd say three quarters of the population. We walked over to a giant table set up against the wall and grabbed plates. Then we moved down the line filling them. It wasn't even a small selection of food. There were breads, meats, and vegetables. I would have to ask her later how they even managed all of this out here in the woods. Or how they had power outside of the city. Truthfully, there were a lot of questions I wanted to ask. Ev
en where they got all of the clothes. They didn't really look like they came from Eden. Had I not had so much on my mind, I might have enjoyed getting the answers to everything. Not being hindered by a society that didn't approve of questions.
Aarys led us to a long table that already had several other young people at it. Unlike Rhydian, they all looked up at me with excited smiles.
“She lives,” a girl with blonde hair said. Her eyes were the brightest blue I had ever seen. Strikingly so. “We were a little worried after we saw Rhydian carrying you in this morning. Aarys said it was a snox bite. Those are wicked.”
“Two bites,” I corrected, not really knowing what else to say as I sat. “Did everyone see me being brought in?”
The guy next to her, a muscular guy that kind of reminded me of Paxton–aside from his pale skin and short brown hair–nodded. “Everyone always watches new arrival day.”
“That's embarrassing,” I admitted, remembering my state of undress. I wasn't used to anyone seeing me in my underwear. Well, aside from Lillith. And all of Alkwin...
“You'll get used to it,” the blue eyed girl said, brushing it off casually. “Things aren't the same here as they are in Eden. I'm Evanly, by the way. This is my boyfriend, Zaydan.” She pointed to the guy next to her, who flashed me a big smile. “The girl next to him is Joury, and the guy by Aarys is Auggie. Welcome to Alkwin.”
I looked at the different faces she pointed out. Joury had short cut black hair that didn't even reach her shoulders, with a pair of black eyes that matched. It was a striking contrast to the fair complexion of her round face. Auggie was around my age, although the shy look about him made him seem younger. He actually looked a lot like Zaydan the more I looked. Same pale skin, same short brown hair. They even had the same dark brown eyes. Though I didn't really want to ask in that moment, they appeared to be brothers.
“What's a boyfriend?” I asked, remembering what she had called Zaydan.
Evanly started to chuckle as she dropped her head down on his shoulder. The contact actually startled me, although I hoped I kept it hidden. “It's a term from before the war. Think courting in Eden without the actual commitment. Well, with some commitment. It's not like we're getting married, but we can't see anyone else. The step between friends and courting.”
“Meaning I get to kiss her whenever I want, and no one else can.”
I tried to hold back my surprise. I really did. I'm guessing I didn't do a good job of it, because Evanly only started laughing more.
“Like I said, things are different here. But you'll get used to it. It's nice not to have all of the constraints of Eden.”
I nodded, looking around the large dining hall. This really was going to take some getting used to.
Like the buildings, the tables were made of wood. They were smooth, though, and painted black.
“How do you get stuff like this?” I asked, running my fingers along the top. “Or anything here.”
“How much do you know about the location of Eden?” Joury asked.
I shrugged. “Not much. I know it's somewhere in the middle of what used to be called the United States.”
She nodded. “About fifty miles from here is what's left of a city named Denver. They had factories there that used to make a lot of the stuff we use today. They've been out of use for a couple hundred years, but a lot of the machinery is still functional. Then it’s just a matter of making what we need and getting it down here. As for the wood, we have a machine here that harvests trees to turn into boards. Other stuff we have smuggled out of Eden.”
“There are still cities out there?” I asked. It was something we had always been told couldn’t happen. That between the war and the original Tainted, everything outside of Eden had been destroyed. It was so hard to believe, but something I hoped to be able to see one day.
“They’re pretty worn down. Without anyone around to keep it back, the wilderness pretty much took over. Some of the buildings have trees growing right through them. And don’t even get me started on the animals that live there. If you thought the snox was bad, you should see some of those.”
That sent a shiver through me. The snox was something I hoped to never encounter again. I didn’t even want to think about what other creatures could be out there. It also explained why the people here hadn’t just moved into one of the cities that had been left abandoned.
“How long has Alkwin been here?” I asked, taking a bite of the meat. I wasn’t sure what kind of animal it came from, but it wasn’t anything I had ever tasted before. I almost asked, but I decided that I would probably enjoy it more if I didn’t know.
“This camp has been here for almost two hundred years,” Aarys answered. “Things get rebuilt as needed, but everything’s pretty much the same. And it’s safe. It backs up to a mountain on one side, and we have magical wards that keep our enemies out. The Tainted leaving Eden started leaving about two hundred and fifty years ago. Sure, they were there before, but the government didn’t know to test for them. It had always been believed that only the un-Tainted made it behind the wall before it was closed off. By the time they realized that wasn’t the case, generations had already passed, and the genes were spreading around. It probably would have stayed hidden longer had there not been a pretty public fight between two guys, one of which turned out to be Tainted.”
“At first all of them were identified and killed,” Zaydan jumped in. “Or, at least, the ones who came into their powers before the final test at year twenty. It took a while, but someone eventually found out how to go about getting them outside of the wall. The stories are that there were three families who all left that first night. They wandered around until they found this place. Then they worked with sympathizers in the city to get the others here. And so it began. There are some older Tainted in the city, but anyone who comes into their abilities and actually tells the right people about it winds up here.”
I wanted to ask how people even went about finding the right people to tell, but my head was already spinning. Dallin had taken care of that for us. Had he not, I doubt we would have even known there was something to do.
By the time dinner was over, I was exhausted. More mentally than physically, but not by much. So much had happened over the past two days. Thankfully, Aarys didn’t need any coaxing before taking me to the dorm.
“You’ll be in the room next to mine,” she said, leading me down the hall. I saw Rhydian ahead of us, but I chose to ignore him. It would be better that way. I had no desire to go a second round with him. Or was it a third? By that point, I was beginning to lose count.
Aarys led me to an open doorway and motioned me in. The room was about the size of the one I had shared with Lillith. It seemed much bigger with only one bed in it. Although the bed was a double, which would be a nice change. There was a dresser near the door and a chair sitting in the corner. Someone had even taken my bag in there for me, which I hadn’t even thought to look for when we walked in.
“Thanks, Aarys,” I said, letting my eyes sweep over the room. Then I turned back around to face her.
“The bathroom is down the hall. Joury likes long showers, so it’s always best to try to get in there before she does in the morning,” she said. “If you need anything, I’m just one door down.”
I nodded and watched as she turned and disappeared. Before turning back around, I saw something through the doorway across from mine. Of course it was Rhydian. Because he always seemed to be everywhere. Rolling my eyes and shifting to turn away from him, I was stopped again. This time when he reached down and pulled his shirt off.
It was a sight I had never seen outside of my Healer duties. He didn’t seem to have any qualms with it, standing there with his door wide open and his back to me. I wanted so badly to look away, but I couldn’t manage to stop my eyes from looking over the contours of his back. The muscles of his arms now that there wasn’t a shirt blocking them.
It was so strange seeing a man undress, even more so when I felt my i
nsides start to flutter slightly. It had been so drilled into me that men and women were never to see each other outside of fully clothed until after they were married. Yet there he was. And I hated how much I actually took pleasure in looking at it.
No, I couldn’t do that. For so many reasons. Turning away to both collect myself and to make sure he didn’t catch me watching, I walked over to the bed and reached for my bag. There wasn’t much in it, but it did have one thing that I desperately needed. A picture of my family.
Taking it in my hand, I crossed over and sat down in the chair in the corner of the room. It had been taken three years before, but it was still my favorite picture. It was the last one that we had taken together before my mother died.
Our mother married Dallin before our first birthday. Her first husband had been killed in an accident when she was still pregnant. They had only been nineteen when they got married. That was how old I was now, and I couldn’t even imagine being in the place to get married. Having a husband, starting a family. I had questioned it once when I was younger, but she just laughed and said that she wouldn’t have changed a thing. They had been friends since they were young, and she said she had known she was going to marry him nearly as long. I was glad that she hadn’t let her grief consume her and she had married Dallin.
Dallin wasn’t like a lot of men in Eden. They tended to see women as their inferiors. Especially those working in lower vocations. Not him. He doted over her, showing her every day how much he loved her. That could be seen in the way he acted after we lost her. He could have easily passed us off to the children’s home, but he didn’t. He kept us, never treating us as anything less than his daughters. And as far as both of us were concerned, he was our dad. We would have called him as such if the rules of Eden hadn’t prevented it. Just another one of the laws that I was beginning to see as utterly pointless.