by Jenn Vakey
Children were only allowed to call their biological parents Mom and Dad. Stepparents had to be called by their name. I still didn’t really understand the reasoning behind it. If he ever got out of Eden and joined us here, or wherever we ended up after this whole mess was taken care of, I would make sure that I didn’t let that law stop me anymore.
Despite us being identical twins, Lillith still looked more like our mother. It was the hair. Mom shared the same dark blonde hair. Even the same violet eyes. I liked to think that we would end up looking like her when we were older. Like we were more copies of hers than her children. If that was the case, I wouldn’t be disappointed. She was a beautiful woman.
We hadn’t expected it when she died. There had been a problem with the government issued birth control batch that she had received. Not only did it fail, resulting in several unauthorized pregnancies throughout Eden, but the medication they gave out to rectify the situation ended up killing ninety percent of the women who took it. It happened so abruptly. We were eating breakfast one morning and she started acting a little strange. Her words didn’t make sense. When Dallin insisted that we take her to go see a Healer and pulled her up to her feet, she just collapsed. And that was it.
Twelve healthy women died before the medication was recalled. As a way of making amends, our rations were doubled for the rest of the month. Like some extra food and clothes could make up for what they had taken from us. And now there was a very good chance they were going to take someone else from me. I hated them so much for it.
I rested my head against the wall, just staring at the picture. I wished my mom could still be here. I wished Dallin was here. They would know what to do right now. They would know how to get Lillith back. I needed to get her back.
“Here are some clothes that will fit you,” Aarys said from my doorway.
I looked up to see a basket in her arms. She didn’t wait for me to respond before walking in and placing it down on my dresser.
“Thanks,” I said softly, my eyes watching her as she smiled and walked back out.
As soon as she was out of my view, I saw Rhydian sitting in the chair in his room. Watching me. He didn’t have that same annoyed look about him that he’d had before. He was just staring at me, a healthy level of mistrust still in his eyes. How long had he been there? I expected him to look away when I caught him, but he didn’t. He met my eye and held it as we both sat there silently. The seconds dragged on, but he didn’t seem willing to look away. So I did.
I pushed up out of my chair, his eyes still not leaving mine. They narrowed slightly, like he was expecting me to walk across the hall to talk to him. But I didn’t. I stepped out of view of the doorway and reached for the basket of clothes Aarys had left.
It was filled with an assortment, even down to a stack of clean underwear. Not something I was really comfortable with, but I didn’t have any other option. So I pulled the drawers of the dresser open and started organizing everything. There wasn’t much, but I had a few different outfits. I shouldn’t need more than that. Hopefully I would have this all taken care of and have Lillith back by then. Even if I was able to work things so it was safe for us to stay in Alkwin, my plan was to at least try to get some of our clothes from home. If not, we’d figure something out.
After putting everything up, I grabbed some sleep clothes and walked back to the door. Rhydian wasn’t in the spot I had last seen him. That was probably a good thing, because I don’t know if I would have been able to have an encounter like that again and not say something. We definitely didn’t have the best track record when it came to talking.
So I just closed the door, changed clothes, and climbed into bed. With everything I had been through, it took me no time at all to fall asleep.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Rest didn’t come easily. Though I didn’t look to check, it felt like something pulled me from my dreams every hour throughout the night. Not that I could remember what had been occupying my thoughts. It was probably better that way. With the sheen of sweat I was soaked in every time I woke, I had no doubt that I hadn’t been dreaming about anything that I would have actually wanted to remember. After the fifth or sixth time I woke up, I gave up on getting any sleep. At that point, I was fairly certain I was playing with fire. Each time I let myself go back to sleep I was just putting myself at risk of actually remembering what was leaving me in such a state. I needed to be strong if I was going to help my sister. I couldn’t let myself fall apart.
After quickly showering in the girl’s bathroom, I grabbed a fresh outfit out of my dresser and pulled it on. Wearing clothes like this was going to take some getting used to. For the past ten years, I had hardly left the house not wearing my Healer’s white jumpsuit. It was made to fit me, but nothing about it was tight or revealed the contours of the body. The shirt I put on fit me snuggly, and the pants weren’t much looser. They were black with several different pockets down the legs. Surprisingly comfortable. I could definitely get used to this. Well, as long as I could get past the fact that everyone who looked at me could see all of the details of my figure.
Pulling my hair back into a tie, I walked back out into the dorm.
The dining hall was already bustling when I walked in. Quickly grabbing a plate of food, I joined Aarys at a table in the middle of the room. I was surprised to see her sitting alone, but then again, breakfast had just started. If the others were anything like my sister, they wouldn’t be there until it was nearly finished. She had never really been a morning person.
“How was your first night in paradise?” Aarys asked with a playful smile.
I shrugged and looked around, more distracted by her phrasing than the question itself. Was this paradise? It didn’t really fit the definition that we had been taught in school, but I didn’t think it was too far off. After all, it was a safe haven. Had I not been dealing with everything I was, that might have been exactly what this place was.
“Not bad,” I answered, focusing back on the conversation. The way she was looking at me made me nervous. Like she knew I was lying. I suddenly felt very self-conscious, fearing she had heard me crying out in my sleep or something. Thankfully she didn’t push further. She just smiled and picked something up from the table beside her.
“What’s this?” I asked, taking the paper she held out for me and unfolding it.
“That’s your schedule for the day,” Aarys said. “It won’t change much day-to-day. Your work shifts before and after lunch will rotate, but everything else will remain the same for a while. Until you’ve been here longer.”
Until I could be trusted more, although she was nice enough not to actually say it.
I looked down at the list of times and duties. My morning was free, which meant I could spend that time getting to know the camp better. Just before lunch I was supposed to spend an hour in the garden. I was actually looking forward to that one. It was like I was being given the opportunity I’d been denied in Eden. Then there was combat training.
“What’s combat training?” I asked, looking up to meet Aarys’ eye. I vaguely remembered the term from my history lessons in Eden. Combat meaning fighting. But why would I need to be trained in fighting?
“It’s a requirement for everyone,” she said, shoving a fork full of eggs into her mouth. I waited for her to swallow, then she continued. “You’ll be trained to defend yourself. Nothing to worry about. You might actually have fun. It’s something you’ll probably have daily until you get the basics down.”
I nodded, although I wasn’t so sure about her assessment. Again, that was one of those lingering beliefs from Eden. Only Sentry were permitted to learn how to fight. Any fighting at all between citizens came with an immediate incarceration sentence. One that was much longer if you were fighting against a Sentry. Seeing as I couldn’t see the need to know how to fight against anyone else, it just felt wrong. Like I was going to be committing a crime.
That was the feeling that stuck with me while I ventured around Alkwin a
fter breakfast. As if I wasn’t already nervous enough.
I walked out to the small training field near the dorms for my first scheduled session after lunch. It was where Aarys told me I’d be doing my combat training. There were racks of wooden weapon replicas and an attack dummy of some kind. I must admit, the thought of using these things both excited and terrified me.
“Ready?” a strong voice asked from behind.
I actually smiled before turning around. Of course it was him. “Not really,” I admitted, spinning to face Rhydian. He was wearing a pair of black pants similar to the ones I wore, with a dark grey shirt he had cut the sleeves off of. Not a bad look, although I would never tell him that. “I’ve only been in one fight, and I was eight at the time. A ten-year-old was holding my sister down by her hair. I decided to make her let her go. Let’s just say it didn’t go well.”
He smirked, though barely. As he walked around me toward the middle of the field, I looked around for anyone else who would be joining us. But there wasn’t anyone. We were alone.
“We’ll start with stretches, otherwise you’ll be hating yourself tomorrow,” he said, starting to demonstrate them.
I followed along, although the entire process was a little embarrassing. I didn’t like anyone seeing me try something I wasn’t good at, and I already knew this would fit into that category. “Hating myself, or hating you?”
“Probably both,” he chuckled.
We spent several minutes working through all of the stretches and warm-ups. When he was satisfied that I was ready, it was time to begin.
“We’re starting with basic self-defense today,” he said deadpan. He stepped toward me so we were only two feet apart. “There are seven places to hit the body that will do the most damage. Eyes, nose, ears, neck, groin, knees, and legs. If you’re ever in a situation where it’s hurt or be hurt, don’t hold back. Understand?”
I didn’t realize how much taller than me he was until he stood that close and I had to look up to meet his eye as I nodded. It was intimidating, although that could have been because we were about to practice fighting techniques. Fighting meant touching. Something that was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Trying not to think about it, I focused on the fact that he would be teaching me how to fight. Something that there was a very good chance I would have to do with him before this was all over. So, who better to teach me?
“If you’re face-to-face like we are, don’t be afraid to fight like a girl.” When I gave him a half offended look, he rolled his eyes and explained. “Gouge, poke, or scratch the attackers eyes. Push all of your weight into your arm, using the heel of your palm to strike up at their nose. Use a knife hand strike to the side of the neck.”
As he listed them off, he moved his arms to demonstrate, stopping just shy of hitting me each time. I flinched the first time when he moved toward my eyes, but held steady when he showed me how to angle the hand to hit the nose, or when his flattened hand swung toward the side of my neck.
“Now,” he said, wrapping his fingers around my left wrist. “How would you do the most damage to my knee?”
That one was actually instinctual. Especially given the shock of the feeling of him touching me. There really was only one way to do anything to his knee with him holding me like that. So twisting slightly, I brought my left leg up and moved like I was going to kick down against his knee. Luckily for him, I decided to also stop just shy.
“Good,” he said, grabbing me and turning me around. “If someone is going to attempt to take you, they’ll likely grab you from behind.”
Without even having a second to realize what he was going to do, I felt his chest press against my back, his arms wrapping around my torso. My breath caught in my throat in a desperate attempt to keep from gasping. There was no stopping myself from tensing, though. Something he had to have felt.
This was much different than him simply grabbing my wrist. Or even when the Sentry had grabbed me in the city, although I had admittedly been too panicked to even react at the time.
“Never been touched by a guy before, have you?” he asked, his mouth so close to my ear that I could feel the heat from his breath on it.
I shook my head, fighting to keep from panicking. From pulling away. There was no question that it was uncomfortable, but that was probably a good thing. If I ever found myself in need of using any of these moves, I would likely be in an uncomfortable situation. Or, at least, that was the reasoning I was going to go with.
“I’m good,” I said when I collected myself enough to find my words. My voice still shook, but I knew there was no way around that.
“Use your left hand to grab my top wrist and hold it down,” said Rhydian. I tried to ignore the fact that I could feel his chest moving as he breathed where it was pressed against my back, or the way his words seemed to tickle against the back of my ear. Instead, I focused on what he was telling me. He waited until I had a good hold, then continued. “Good. Now you’re going to drop your weight down and forward a little so that you’re pushing into my arms. Then I want you to twist to the right as you throw your elbow back toward my face.”
“This whole situation feels so wrong,” I muttered under my breath, then did as he said. I ended up acting a little harder than I had intended, but thankfully he moved his head aside so I didn’t actually strike him.
Not that I would have been terribly bothered if I had. I was fairly certain he was taking pleasure in making me uncomfortable. Payback for all of the wrongs he was so sure I had committed.
We spent the next half hour practicing how to get out of different holds. By then, I had started getting used to the close contact. Well, as long as I didn’t let myself think about the fact that he had actually undressed me the day before.
“So why exactly do I have to know all of this stuff?” I asked.
Rhydian stretched out his shoulders and motioned me toward a large bag hanging from a chain. When he reached it, he grabbed my hand again and started wrapping a bandage over my knuckles. He apparently had no issue with crossing over the contact barrier.
“Everyone in Alkwin is required to start training after year eight. It’s more important for those that aren’t Tainted, because you don’t have abilities to defend yourself with. That’s something that you need to be able to do. Defend yourself and the rest of the community if they ever come for us. Or if we get attacked by someone from another camp.”
My eyes jerked up from watching him wrap my hands and I quickly found his. “There are others?”
He met my gaze just long enough to nod before he finished what he was doing. “We’ve had run-ins. Some are friend, others are foe. Our leader is out with one of our allies right now. It happens when a problem arises and they need an impartial party to act as mediator.”
Once again, it felt like everything I knew had been completely turned upside down. In a way, it really did make sense. People had been leaving Eden for centuries. I had no idea how frequently it happened, but I would have expected more than just the number of people that were in camp.
Wait, did he say their leader? That meant that Rhydian wasn’t in charge. Just apparently important enough to be able to make decisions. That actually made this whole thing a little easier to stomach. At least what I was doing wasn't going to cost Alkwin their leader.
“Punch the bag,” he ordered.
Without waiting for me to even consider reacting, he moved behind me and reached out for my right hand, using his hold to form my fingers into a fist. Okay, at this point I was pretty sure I was right in thinking he was making contact to intentionally make me uncomfortable. “Never put your thumb under your fingers or you’ll break it.”
I nodded as he slid his hand up my forearm, pulling it back until it was in position. It made my skin tingle, but I just ignored it.
“Now throw your weight into it.” So I did, and it didn't feel good. “Interesting,” he said, chuckling slightly. “Sentry training isn’t what it used to be.”
“Hey,
” I countered, looking back over my shoulder. He shrugged. Standing like that, I was very aware at just how close we were. Also the odd fluttering sensation I had in my chest. It wasn’t something I had ever experienced before.
We continued doing that for the rest of the time. He corrected my stance when needed, and I actually started enjoying throwing punches by the time we finished. Not that I had gotten much better at it. But he was surprisingly patient with me.
“You did better than I'd expected,” he said, handing me a bottle of water when we were done. “Most newcomers take a while to get past the Eden beliefs on contact. I was actually surprised you didn't pull away.”
I felt myself blushing as we started walking back toward the dorm. I was in desperate need of a shower. And to get away from this new sense of awkwardness.
“I saw what they did to my sister when they were taking her,” I said. “I don't ever want to feel that helpless again.”
Rhydian tensed slightly. I could tell that he wanted to say something, but we kept walking in silence. Then, when we reached our doors, he just turned and went inside of his room.
I really didn't understand him. Was it just him, or was it that way with all guys? I was completely clueless.
As the hours passed after our training session ended, I started to feel the effects of it. I would hate to know what I would have felt like had I not stretched beforehand. Standing in my room after dinner, I could already feel the aches settling in. Thankfully, Aarys had the foresight to get me some cream to alleviate the soreness.
After changing into my night clothes, I stood in the middle of the room and started rubbing it into my back. Well, I tried to. No matter how far I managed to stretch, I just couldn’t reach the middle, which was where a fair amount of the pain was coming from. And it was getting frustrating.
“Do you need help?” a familiar voice asked from the door just as I let out a groan.
I looked back over my shoulder and saw Rhydian standing there watching me. I almost told him no. It was one thing to be touching during training, but this seemed a little too much. What Adler said moved through my thoughts, though. I needed to get him to trust me, and fast. So I nodded.