by Amy Star
“He’ll come around,” Keller assured her. “It’s a difficult subject for him.”
“It’s difficult for all of us,” Loch snapped. “Johnny isn’t the only one who lost people fifteen years ago. Many of us did.”
Holly turned her gaze to Loch. He didn’t look at her.
“I understand that this will be difficult,” Keller said. “But it needs to be handled, and I think this is the best way to do it. If you’re willing to stay for this, for Holly, then we will welcome you as one of our own.”
“I will help.” Loch nodded. “For Holly. I don’t care what everyone else does or doesn’t do. If she needs it, I’ll do it.”
The movement was slight, but Keller didn’t miss it. Loch brushed his fingers against the back of Holly’s hand. Keller’s gaze darted to her face, searching for a reaction, but there was none.
“Where does Elise fit into this?” Holly asked. “She is the reason Loch and I are standing here right now. If anything happens to her—”
“We’ll find a way to get to her,” Keller promised. “She will be welcome here.”
Holly let out a sigh, but she didn’t look relieved. “Thank you.”
“There’s still one thing we’re leaving out,” Loch spoke up.
Keller looked at him, surprised. “What’s that?”
“Everything we’re planning is a way to protect Holly,” Loch started. “But what if something happens that we don’t foresee? What if someone grabs her when none of us can be there?”
“That won’t happen,” Keller said through gritted teeth.
“On your life, can you promise that?” Loch asked. “Can you tell Holly with absolute certainty that she will be under protection at every moment from now until we settle this?”
Keller wanted so badly to say yes, but he knew it wouldn’t be the truth. Even if he concocted the most airtight plan to end all plans, something could always go wrong. It had already happened once. “No,” he admitted reluctantly. “I can’t promise that.”
“Then we need to make sure Holly can protect herself,” Loch said. “She needs to learn basic self-defense. It wouldn’t hurt to give her some weapons training on top of that. I want her to have her best shot.”
“We all do,” Garret said.
“Good.” Loch grinned. “We’re agreed. Holly, you’ll train with me in the morning.”
“You?” Keller furrowed his brow. “Why you?”
“You’re our strategist,” Loch said to Keller before looking at Garret. “You’re our heavy hitter. I’m not sure how useful Johnny is going to be in all this, so I won’t count on him for anything. I know how to fight as a bear and as a human. Can either of you say the same?”
“I can throw a punch,” Garret offered. “But I’ve never been in a fight where my size didn’t guarantee me a victory.”
“Exactly. And Keller,” Loch turned back to him, “I’m going to guess that you’re a pro at talking your adversaries down before it comes to throwing blows.”
“You’re…not wrong,” Keller admitted.
“I, on the other hand, can use a crossbow, any gun you could possibly throw at me, knives, my fist, and a broadsword, if there’s nothing else available.”
“Under what circumstances was fighting with a broadsword necessary?” Holly asked, looking equal parts amused and concerned.
“That’s a story for another day,” Loch said with a wink before returning his gaze to Keller. “Are we done here?”
“Feel free to go do whatever it is that you do.” Keller flicked his wrist dismissively.
“I’m going to talk to Johnny,” Holly announced.
Keller tried not to look disappointed. He’d hoped Holly would stay in the dining room and help him work out a plan. Before he could voice his desires, she’d fled the dining room.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN—Holly
Holly checked the deck and the study before making her way down the basement stairs. She’d been in Johnny’s studio once before. It was an amazing workshop dedicated to painting, woodcarving, music, and anything else that caught Johnny’s artistic fancy. She knocked softly on the door.
“What?” Johnny’s gruff voice snapped.
“It’s me,” she said gently. “Can I talk to you?”
Silence.
Holly was about to accept that he didn’t want to see her and leave when the door opened.
She’d never seen Johnny look so worn down before. The usual rakish glint in his gray-green eyes wasn’t there. There was no smirk to be found on his lips. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a week.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’ve been better.”
“May I come in?”
Johnny looked like he wanted to refuse, but in the end, he stepped aside.
Holly stepped into his studio. Aside from his cot stuffed into the far corner of the room, there wasn’t anywhere to sit.
“I want to apologize,” Johnny said, catching her off guard.
“Apologize? What for?”
“For storming out the way I did. For letting my temper get the best of me. For whatever else you want to tack on.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and kept his gaze trained on the ground.
“I don’t think you have anything to apologize for,” she replied.
“You don’t think I was a jerk back there?”
“I do,” she chuckled, “but I think, given the circumstances, you’re allowed to be one. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me.”
Johnny looked at her as if she’d sprouted a second head. “What?”
“I shouldn’t have kept the truth about Trevor from you,” she said. “It was wrong of me.”
“Why did you keep it a secret?”
“I know I said it was to protect Trevor, but the truth is that I kept it a secret to protect myself.”
Johnny furrowed his brow. “I don’t understand.”
“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Holly admitted. “If I had told you about Trevor and Trevor wound up dead because of my words, that would’ve permanently fucked up this whole prophecy. I’m so scared that I’m going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and accidentally screw all of us over.”
“That’s not going to happen.” The way Johnny spoke with such fierce determination almost made Holly believe him.
“But you don’t know that for sure, do you?” she asked. “None of us do. If you make a mistake, it’s all right. If I make a mistake, my actions could lead to the rise of the dark shifters. I’m paralyzed with fear, Johnny.”
“You don’t need to be afraid of anything.” Johnny closed the distance between them and wrapped her in his arms.
She sank into his embrace. “I’m sorry this is so difficult for you,” she murmured against his shirt. “You must be reliving a lot of pain.”
“Difficult is an understatement.” He laughed dryly. “The shifters who killed my parents might be in those silver mines right now. You have no idea how badly I want to charge in there and rip out their throats.”
“You’re right. I can’t imagine. My heart breaks, knowing what you’ve had to go through.”
“I thought the anger would fade with time, but it hasn’t,” he confessed in a whisper. “If anything, it’s getting worse.”
“How can I help you?”
A sharp laugh tore from Johnny’s throat as if he weren’t expecting to make a sound. “This is backward,” he said. “I’m supposed to be the one helping you.”
Holly shook her head. “You’re wrong. All of you are wrong. I’m your Maiden, but you all are my bear shifters. The Maiden chose me specifically to maintain peace. It’s my job to protect you just as much as it is your job to protect me.”
“I—” Johnny’s voice faltered. “I never thought of it that way.”
“I’m going to protect you by making sure you don’t get so lost in your anger that you do something reckless and get yourself killed in the process. If I lose you, I won’t survive it.”
“You won’t lose me,” Johnny whispered. “No matter how this ends, no matter whose child you bear, I swear to you that you will not lose me.”
Holly felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from her shoulders. “You won’t lose me, either,” she whispered back.
They held each other for a long while.
When Holly finally released him, she found she had a difficult time leaving his basement sanctuary.
Maiden? she called into her mind.
I am here.
I need advice. Holly dragged herself up the stairs to her bedroom. She felt the eyes of the other men on her as she moved through the house. Can we speak plainly? No cryptic warnings or half-formed riddles.
I do nothing half-formed, the Maiden sniffed, but yes. I will offer guidance.
Once in her room, Holly shut the door and flopped onto her bed.
How am I supposed to choose? I care for them all so much. How do I know which one is meant to be the King?
I cannot make that choice for you.
Holly furrowed her brow.
Then what’s the point? I don’t understand any of this.
I’ve chosen you to help me maintain the balance. You will need my power and wisdom to complete your task.
But if you have the power, why can’t you do it yourself?
I require your humanity. Your human heart and mind possess qualities I will never be capable of. Humans are not simple creatures I can manipulate without effort. Your minds are delicate and complex. Simultaneously easy to break yet capable of reaching heights beyond anything else in the natural world. They must be handled with great care.
Holly’s eyes went wide. It was impossible for her to wrap her head around the fact that there were things she could do that the Maiden could not.
Surely, you must have some sense of humanity if you care so much.
If every human in the world suddenly dropped dead, I would care only for the devastating effect it would have on this world.
Then why fight so hard to maintain peace between the shifter clans?
The power they contain within them must remain contained. If the shifters were to forsake their humanity, it is not only the humans that will suffer.
I better pick the right man, then. Holly frowned.
Indeed.
Then tell me which man to be with, Holly begged. She’d give anything not to have to make that choice. The thought of hurting even one of her shifters made her chest ache.
I cannot.
How did Phaedra Glint choose?
She used the knowledge I gifted to her. I will gift that knowledge to you when you’re ready. You will use that to pass your judgment.
Why not give me that knowledge now? Not all of it, just the tiny bit I need to make the right choice. Why do I have to go so far with all of them?
Ah, I was wondering when you’d ask.
Holly rolled her eyes.
If you knew I’d ask, why not tell me ahead of time?
Because then you would accuse me of being unhelpful and cryptic.
Holly started to argue but stopped. The Maiden had a point.
You need to learn the deepest, truest natures of the firstborn sons. I have a…limited understanding of the hearts of men. I cannot advise you the way you need to be advised. That’s why the choice is ultimately yours. I do not believe you will falter.
The unexpected affirmation loosened the anxieties that had taken hold of Holly’s heart. It’s nice to know you have some confidence in me.
I chose you for a reason. I would not subject you to this if I did not think you could handle it. You are far from where you need to be, but I believe you will get there.
I still don’t understand who or what you are. Holly’s temples began to throb. Taking in so much information and dealing with the pressure of making life-changing decisions was overwhelming her.
There are no words in your language to describe what I am, the Maiden explained. I am a guardian of all that thrive in the natural world. The shifters are the bridge between the world as it once was and the world as it has become today. They are both natural and unnatural. As such, they have great power over the balance of the natural world.
Are you like Mother Nature, then?
An inaccurate and oversimplified term, the Maiden said. But, in a way, yes. I am one of the many hands that keep nature balanced.
How many hands are there?
Too many to count, even for me.
Do they have vessels, too?
Some do. Some do not have the need. The hand that pushes the tides has no need of a corporeal vessel. The hand that oversees the wars of mortal men requires many.
Hands… Holly mulled the word over in her mind. Like the hands of fate?
Again, an oversimplified and inaccurate term.
Sorry. Holly laughed inwardly. My mortal mind is doing the best it can.
I know. It is for that reason why I withhold information. If I were to tell you everything, it would break your mind and quite possibly end your life.
Has that happened before?
Not to my vessels. There was a note of pride in the Maiden’s voice. I learned from the mistakes of others and took many precautions when I first chose Phaedra Glint. I hoped that she would be the only vessel I would ever need. Unfortunately, the human nature of the shifters has made that impossible. If there is power to be taken, humans will take it by any means necessary. Your very history proves me right.
I can’t argue with that, Holly admitted. You must know the firstborns want to assemble an army.
Yes, I am aware of the conversation that took place.
What can I do to make sure I don’t lose any of them? Even Trevor. Just thinking his name sent a shiver down her spine. As much as the thought repulsed her, she knew he was vital to her mission as the Maiden’s vessel.
Strengthen your body. Strengthen your mind. You are already seeking the right answers. Keep digging. You will find what you need.
Holly pursed her lips.
I don’t suppose you can cut me a break and just tell me.
If I did, I would be doing you a disservice.
Of course, Holly muttered more to herself than to the Maiden.
Rest now, the Maiden commanded. You will need your strength.
Before Holly could say anything else, the Maiden retracted her presence from her mind. As always, Holly felt drained after the lengthy discussion.
As she slid under the covers, it occurred to her that she handled the brief conversation with the Maiden she had in the diner without any noticeable side effects. Even now, though their conversation was lengthy and left her feeling drained, it wasn’t as terrible as it was before. Perhaps, she was getting stronger after all.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN—Holly
Holly slammed onto the deck. Her shoulder made a terrible crunch when it came into contact with the hard wood.
“Again,” Loch barked.
“Are you kidding me?” Holly groaned. “I don’t understand how this is supposed to help me!” She staggered to her feet. Every inch of her body ached.
She and Loch had been training on the deck since dawn. Now, the morning sun shone brightly down from above. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
“Your reflexes are too slow,” Loch said. “All you have to do is dodge my attacks.”
“Easier said than done, obviously!” Holly exclaimed.
Loch effortlessly twirled the wooden staff in his hand. “I’m not even asking you to block or counterattack.” Loch grinned. “All you have to do is move before I smack you.”
“I’m starting to think this isn’t a training exercise at all,” she huffed. “I think this is just an excuse for you to hit me with a stick.”
“It’s not a very heavy stick.” As if to prove his point, Loch tossed the staff in the air.
“It’ll feel a lot heavier when it’s knocking you off your feet. Go easy on me this time.”
“No. Going easy on you will not help you in the long run.”
>
“You’re worse than the Maiden,” Holly muttered. “How about we change things up?”
Loch arched a brow. “What do you have in mind.”
“Give me the stick and you’ll find out.”
Loch considered her, a wry smile playing on his lips.
Holly looked away when she realized she was staring at his mouth. She’d caught herself staring at him one too many times that morning. She hadn’t expected him to show up to training shirtless.
“I’ll make you a deal,” he said.
Holly put her hands on her hips. “I’m listening.”
“I’ll give you the staff,” he began. “If you can land just one blow, you can be done for the day.”
Holly’s grin could only be described as feral. “You’re on. Give me the stick.”
“At least try to hide the fact that you want to hit me.” He chuckled as he tossed the stick to her.
By some miracle, Holly caught it without fumbling. She took that as a good sign.
“Attack when you’re ready,” he said.
Holly swung the staff a few times, adjusting to the weight of it. She waited until Loch looked like he’d relaxed before charging at him. She swung…and missed.
Somehow, Loch ended up behind her.
She whirled around, ready to swing again. By the time the staff hit its mark, Loch was long done.
“Hold still!” Holly cried.
“That defeats the point of our deal.” Loch chuckled as he dodged her whirlwind of sloppy blows.
Holly spun hard, throwing herself off balance by the force of her own thrust. She would’ve fallen again if she didn’t catch herself on the back of a deck chair.
Loch made no effort to hide his delight in watching her struggle. He doubled over laughing, clutching his sculpted chest.
“I’m glad I’m providing you with entertainment,” she muttered.
“Please, keep going.” He made a show of wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. “I haven’t laughed this hard in an age.”
Holly swung at him again. Her muscles ached and felt like they were made of lead. If her legs could talk, they would ask why the fuck she was doing this to them. She didn’t care. She pushed through the pain. The desire to wipe that stupid, sexy smirk off Loch’s face was all-consuming.