by Amy Star
No. Not sexy. Insufferable, she corrected herself.
She missed her mark again, slamming into the railing instead.
A strong arm slid around her waist. Suddenly, her back was pressed against Loch’s bare chest.
“You couldn’t hit me even now,” he taunted.
She swung the staff over her shoulder. Somehow, she still missed him.
“How the hell are you doing that?” she groaned.
“A decade of practice. Give or take.” He shrugged.
“A decade?” Holly gave an exasperated sigh. “You must’ve been only a kid when you started.”
“Yeah.” His voice went soft. The usual mocking lilt vanished.
“The last dark shifter uprising?” Holly whispered.
If she turned her head just slightly, she’d be able to see his face. She couldn’t bring herself to do so.
“That was certainly a motivator,” he muttered.
Holly squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” She stepped away from Loch and leaned against the deck railing. She expected Loch to walk away; instead, he came up to stand beside her.
“You can ask me about it, if you want.” Loch kept his eyes trained on the forest as he spoke.
“How old were you?” Holly asked.
“Eleven. I don’t remember much of it. No one thought it was going to end the way it did.”
That made him twenty-six.
“What happened?” Holly spoke so softly she wasn’t sure if she spoke aloud at all.
“Even now, I don’t know.” He shook his head. “When whisperings of shifters who wanted to return to the dark ways began to circulate, people didn’t take it seriously. There has always been the odd shifter who believes going dark is the correct way to live, but they either grew out of it or moved to a more remote area.”
“But it was different that time,” Holly murmured.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “The Golden Oak Bear Clans banded together in a way they never had before. They became one cohesive clan. They had Silver Spruce in their sight, and we were none the wiser.”
“Do you know what they wanted?”
“Some people think they wanted our land, but I think they just wanted to do harm,” he said. “By the time people here realized how serious a threat the shifters from Golden Oak had become, it was too late.”
Loch fell silent. Holly thought he’d said all he planned on saying, but he wasn’t finished yet.
“I slept through the whole thing.” His voice sounded thick and heavy. “My parents went out to fight when the Golden Oak shifters descended upon our town. It was after midnight when they attacked. They locked me up inside the house. There’s not a lock strong enough to stop a raging shifter, but it was all they could do.”
“I’m so sorry,” Holly whispered.
“I woke up to my alarm that morning,” he continued. “I got ready for school. It was a Thursday. When I went into the kitchen for breakfast, no one was there. I thought it was weird, but I figured my parents had to run into town for something. It wasn’t until my neighbor knocked on my door that I realized something was wrong.”
“I can’t imagine…” Holly didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anything she could say.
“Things only got worse for me after that,” he said. “We didn’t own the house we lived in. The landlord didn’t like the idea of kicking me out, but he couldn’t afford to leave the house empty. A Golden Oak shifter had nearly torn off his arm. Medical bills were piling up fast.”
Holly placed her hand over Loch’s on the railing.
“What did you do?”
“I came here for a while.” He smiled faintly. “Pearl brought a ton of kids here to stay until relatives could take them in.”
“Did you have aunts or uncles? Grandparents?”
“No.” Loch frowned. “It was just my parents and me. Pearl didn’t want me to go into the state’s foster system. She didn’t trust it, with good reason. She didn’t want me to lose what was left of the only home I ever had.”
Tears welled in Holly’s eyes. She wanted to say something, anything that might ease his pain, but she knew there was nothing.
“I bounced around from house to house for a while,” he said. “I probably could’ve done that for longer, but I couldn’t stand living with my friends’ families. I hated seeing my childhood friends with their parents. I know that’s horrible, but it’s the truth. I hated never having my own bed, my own room. I hated being a freeloader. I hated taking things from others with no way to give anything back.”
“You were only a child,” Holly whispered.
“I got my overdeveloped sense of pride from my father.” He laughed, though there was no humor in the sound. “When I was thirteen, I found someone willing to rent a room to me if I could pay my way.”
“Thirteen?” Holly’s mouth fell open. “Who would rent a room to a thirteen-year-old?”
“The only person in town who treated me like a human,” he said. “His name was Brecker. I’m still not sure if that was his first name or his last name. He found me camping near Riverrun Creek and made me a deal. He said if I could scrape up the money doing honest work, then he’d let me have the room. That’s when I started doing odd jobs for people. No one wanted to say no to me. They always overpaid me.”
“How long did you live there?”
“Four years,” he said. “Brecker was the one who first taught me how to fight. I developed a nasty temper.”
“Who could blame you?” Holly shrugged.
Loch flashed her a cold, steely smile. “I hated it when people said that. No matter how many shitty things I did as a kid, people made excuses for me. I was the official orphan of Silver Spruce. No one wanted to yell at me. No one wanted to punish me. Everyone thought I’d suffered enough. I started testing people. I did every awful thing I could think of, daring someone to say something to me. No one ever did.”
“Even now?”
“Oh, people hate me now.” Loch laughed. “Especially Johnny.”
“What happened between you two?” Holly asked. “He told me you used to be close.”
“Johnny and I bonded when we lived here as kids. We weren’t the only ones to lose family members, but we were cut from the same cloth. We had an edge to us. A bite.”
Holly knew exactly what Loch was talking about. Johnny still had that bite to him. It was one of the things she loved about him.
“Close family friends took him in,” Loch went on. “He wasn’t any happier than I was, but he adjusted better, though you wouldn’t think it by the way he talks about himself. He was better off than I ever was.”
“Did you ever return to live with Pearl?” Holly asked.
“Occasionally.” Loch nodded. “Though, never for long. I think my longest stint was two weeks.”
“Why didn’t you stay longer? I know Pearl would’ve welcomed you.”
“You’re right.” Loch nodded. “She welcomed me with open arms whenever I came back and never held it against me when I left. I couldn’t stand being here too long because…because…” His voice went soft and wobbly.
Holly tightened her grip on his hand.
“It was too hard to be treated gently, to be shown affection,” he explained. “Every kind word from Pearl’s mouth only made me more aware of my loss.”
“I’m so sorry. I know I keep saying that, but I don’t—” A sob sliced through her words. She rested her head against his bare shoulder. One tear rolled off her cheek and plopped onto his skin.
Loch stepped closer, shifting so that Holly’s shoulder blade pressed against his chest. He moved one hand from the rail and wrapped it around her back.
Holly let her head slide from his shoulder to the crook of his neck.
“Don’t cry for me,” Loch said. “I’d rather see you smile instead.”
“I don’t think I can manage that just now.” Holly sniffed. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like the bad guy in this s
hitstorm of a story.”
“You never did,” Loch assured her. “Though, you did make me feel like a proper asshole on occasion.”
Holly laughed despite herself. “Were you being a proper asshole in those situations?”
“Most definitely.” Loch nodded, eliciting another laugh from Holly. “That’s the smile I’m looking for.”
Holly turned to look at him just as he took her chin in his hand. They were so close, their noses nearly touched. She looked into his eyes, shocked to see such tenderness glittering within them.
She wasn’t sure who moved first, but when their lips touched for the first time, she felt the whole world fall away. She brought her hand up to his cheek, holding him close to her. Her heartbeat fell into sync with his.
When she had first seen him in town, outside of The Bear’s Bane, her attraction to him was instant. It was what she had learned about him after that made her question things. Even now, a tiny part of her didn’t fully know where he stood.
When they broke apart, she didn’t open her eyes at first.
“Should I not have done that?” Loch laughed nervously.
“I thought I was the one who did it,” Holly admitted. She opened her eyes to find him staring at her. When she looked into his eyes, she didn’t feel that overwhelming sense of trust she felt when she looked at the others. What she did feel was an overwhelming sense of attraction. The desire to kiss him again, to run her hands over every inch of him, took her breath away.
“I’m glad you did.” He smiled.
When Holly didn’t say anything, Loch pulled away just enough to look at her face.
“You’re overwhelmed, aren’t you?” It wasn’t an accusation or an insult. There was no malice in his voice.
“Is it that obvious?” She laughed nervously.
“Yes,” he replied. “You do this thing with your mouth. You press the left corner of your mouth in tighter than your right. It’s cute.”
“What?” Holly blurted. “I do not!”
“Yes, you do!” Loch grinned. “You also get the tiniest line between your brows.”
“You’re making all this up.”
“Go look in the mirror and think about the fucked-up situation we’re in. You’ll see what I’m talking about.”
“How did you even notice something so small?”
“No offense, sweetness, but you’ve been overwhelmed since the moment I met you.”
Holly definitely felt the left corner of her mouth go tight. “That’s…not an inaccurate statement.”
The smile slowly faded from Loch’s face. He reached for her hand, lacing his fingers through hers.
“In all seriousness,” he said. “I can only imagine how much everything is weighing on you. I’m not blind to the situation. You’ve been splitting yourself between three men, trying to find the best one to fulfill your maidenly duties.”
Holly snorted at the ridiculous term.
“Adding a fourth to that mix sounds insane,” he continued. “Anyone, shifter or not, would think it’s too much. Despite that, I want you to know I’m all in. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”
Holly’s breath caught in her chest. Her head spun. Loch was right. She had a hard-enough time trying to choose between Johnny, Keller, and Garret. Adding Loch into the mix…
When she tried to draw another breath, it wouldn’t come easily. “I…need to leave,” she said. “I’m so sorry. I just…I’m sorry.”
Before Loch could say anything, Holly dashed back into the house.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN—Holly
After a long, hot bath, Holly still ached all over. Bruises had started to appear on her arms and legs, where she had landed on the deck. They were oddly motivating. Figuring out how to wield a staff with accuracy seemed so much easier to accomplish than anything else she was going to face in the near future.
Four shifters. Four potential fathers of the baby she would eventually carry. How the hell was she ever going to do this?
Holly toweled off and padded across the room. She flopped belly down on her bed.
Do you need advising? The Maiden’s voice nearly startled Holly out of her skin.
No. I’d appreciate privacy right now if you don’t mind.
I don’t. However, you will need to force my presence out of your mind.
Come on. Holly let out a long groan. I’ve had a bitch of a day. I ache from head to toe. Cut me some slack.
Your enemies will strike you when you are at your weakest. They will not “cut you some slack” when you’re sore and tired. This is your lesson. Push me from your mind.
Sometimes, I think I hate you.
Holly sat up and closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure how to go about pushing a force of nature out of her mind.
Can I have a hint? she asked.
Imagine you’re closing a door or building a wall.
She could do that. She pictured the Maiden in her mind as a beam of light. Giving her any sort of human form felt…wrong. She then imagined herself standing in front of the Maiden. Slowly but surely, she built a wall between them.
Your enemy will not give you this much time.
My enemy will not be in my head the way you are.
Are you sure about that?
Holly’s eyes flew open. Well, now, I’m not. What are you not telling me?
Your lesson today is to force me out. That’s all you need to concern yourself with right now.
This is impossible! Holly’s anger sparked to life. She closed her eyes once more and returned her energy pushing the Maiden out. With anger as her fuel, she put a thick wall between them with almost no effort. The sudden weightlessness in her mind left her breathless.
“Wow,” she gasped. “I will definitely remember that trick.”
It felt good to make progress in at least one area of her life. Now that she’d overcome one hurdle, she felt anxious to overcome another. She couldn’t sit in bed for another minute. Her body thrummed with restless energy.
Night fell some hours ago. As she tiptoed through the living room, she glanced at the clock on the wall. How could it be midnight already? Time moved differently in Silver Spruce. That must be the explanation. Days flew by in minutes, but sometimes, hours stretched on for eternity.
Holly stepped onto the deck, happy to find the training staff still waiting for her. She picked it up and gave it a few practice swings. Without a moving target, there wasn’t much for her to learn other than how to jab and swing without throwing herself off balance.
Soon, she lost herself to the movements. Her mind went blissfully blank. She focused solely on the pull of her muscles and the way the moonlight cast a pale glow over everything.
“You’ll only strain your wrist if you hold the staff like that.” The voice that spoke was female and came from the woods.
Holly froze mid-motion. Her staff slipped from her hands and clattered onto the deck. “Who’s there?” she asked, too terrified to turn toward the black wood.
“A friend.”
“Prove it.”
“For one thing, I can see you. What does that tell you?”
Holly pushed through the fear that muddled her brain so that she might think clearly. “This house is under a spell,” she said. “Only certain people can see it. How do I know you can truly see the house?”
“See isn’t the exact term I’d use.” The woman laughed softly. “But I know you’re wearing gray pants and a black shirt.”
True enough, she was.
“Sounds like you can see just fine to me,” Holly said. “Are you a witch?”
“Clever girl.” The woman chuckled. “I made the spell that protects your house. Now that you know I’m not a threat, come to the edge of the deck and see me for yourself.”
“How do I know this isn’t a trap?” Holly asked. “One scream from me, and you’ll have four angry shifters to contend with.”
“I know,” the woman said. “Yet I’m here all the same. I want to help you if you allow
me.”
Slowly, Holly retrieved her staff and walked to the railing. Standing below her in a pool of moonlight was a witch with bone-white skin, deep-red hair, and eyes that shone like gold coins.
No, wait. Her eyes were gold coins.
“I feel your gaze upon me,” the woman said. Her white teeth gleamed as her dark lips pulled up into a smile.
“Who are you?” Holly clutched her staff close to her chest.
“My name is Edwina. I am one of three witches who live in the Silver Spruce forest. I am known as the heart witch to those who seek my talents.”
“Nice to meet you,” Holly stammered, not knowing what else to say. “What do you want?”
“Like I said, I want to offer help. Will you walk with me?”
“Leave the protection of the house? Walk through the woods teeming with dark shifters who’d like nothing more than to capture me again? No, thanks. That’s a hard pass from me.”
“You’re safe with me.” Edwina spoke in such a soothing, measured tone that Holly was tempted to take her at her word.
“I need some kind of insurance,” Holly said. “Otherwise, no deal.”
“Take this.” Edwina reached for one of her golden eyes and pulled it free. For one horrible moment, Holly saw the empty cavity that was once an eye socket.
Edwina tossed the coin into the air. It landed perfectly on the railing.
Holly stared at the coin equal parts repulsed and amazed.
“I gave my eyes for my power,” Edwina explained. “You hold one coin, then you hold half of my power. Is that insurance enough for you?”
Holly took the coin between her thumb and forefinger. It looked like an ordinary gold coin on the surface, but the moment she touched it, she felt a hum of power from within it. “Yes,” she said, tucking it into her pocket. “Meet me at the front door.” Holly decided to take her staff, just in case.
When she opened the door, Edwina stood at the bottom of the porch steps, her pale hands clasped in front of her. She wore a long, black dress that covered her arms and stopped at the tips of her pointed boots.
“I didn’t think witches really dressed like that,” Holly said.