Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels

by Candy J. Starr

  "I'm not sure what you want from me," I said. "But I'm not going to walk away. You protect the ones you love."

  I smiled at him. I needed him to know that I'd stand by him.

  "She didn't think like that," he said.

  "She?"

  "Cindy. She knew, Fay. She knew I'd been home. That can of Coke sat on the coffee table near his body, and she worked it all out. He was her father, and she loved him in spite of everything. She's a much better person than I am. She went away, and I never heard from her again."

  Crow kept sipping his wine, and those violins didn't let up. I wanted to reassure him, to make things better, but I wasn't even sure where to start. I could only keep holding his hand.

  "You've never heard from her at all? Maybe, now that she's older, you should try to get in touch."

  He shook his head and put his glass down. "We should get back to the hotel," he said.

  I guessed that meant the conversation was over, but as we left the bar, I put my arm around him and pulled him tight. Crow might have a darkness within him, but, like I'd always thought, he was a good person.

  Fay

  WHEN WE GOT BACK TO the hotel, I hoped Crow would invite me back to his room.

  He didn't.

  "Are you sure you want to be alone?" I asked him, putting my hand on his arm.

  He stroked my cheek. "It's been a pretty intense day. Don't tempt me."

  Oh, I wanted to tempt him. I really wanted to tempt him a lot, but he was right. It had been intense. If he needed some alone time, I wouldn't push him. Not tonight.

  Instead, I went into my room and changed into my PJs. I wasn't ready to sleep, so I grabbed my hairbrush and began brushing my hair. That often helped me to think.

  The things he'd told me played with my mind. His sister rejecting him like that had obviously really hurt him, and hurt him still, no matter how much he brushed it off. That had been a long time ago, though. About ten years by my reckoning. Surely, in that time, her feelings had changed.

  If she regretted it now, what would she do? If Crow had been a normal guy, she could have picked up the phone and called him or sent him an email but being in the Freaks made him far from normal. He had levels of privacy most people didn't have. You couldn't just look up his phone number, and if she wanted to contact him, her message would get lost in the piles of fan mail.

  From the sound of it, Crow had severed all connections with his family and his home town. There was no one she could ask for help.

  Even though I had no siblings, I couldn't imagine cutting myself off from family. I messaged my mother every day. Sometimes I even talked to a photo of her, telling her things about my day. I'd always been close to Polly and my other cousins, even when Polly was a pain in the butt. That's what family was like: you got annoyed with them, but it didn't stop them being family.

  I bet Crow's sister felt like that too.

  If only I could get him to contact her. She'd probably be so happy to hear from him. Those kinds of bonds didn't just die.

  How could I get him to do that, though? He was stubborn as hell, and if I raised the subject, he'd just close off. I needed to be much trickier than that.

  Could I track her down? I had no idea where she lived, and she might've even changed her surname by now, but I had to try. She'd be 24 years old, and I knew her home town. I had no idea where she would've moved to.

  I opened up my laptop and went online. First of all, I checked the Freaks' official site to get any details. No mention of a sister on Crow's bio. But, hey, Elijah had two older sisters. Figured. Guys like him always had older sisters who spoiled them rotten. That was what made them grow up to think they were God's gift to women.

  I'd have to tell him that theory.

  After the official site, I trawled through all the fan sites. Even there, no one mentioned a sister, although a few did say that Crow's father had died of a heart attack.

  Then I checked forums. That didn't help, either, although someone had posted: Forget the Freaks, Wreckage is where it's at. That chick singer is so hot.

  I bookmarked that to read again later. I didn't get nearly enough fan mail for my liking.

  Then I read a reply that wasn't as nice. Obviously from someone with no taste.

  I couldn't spend the night reading about myself. I had someone to find.

  I wondered if she looked like Crow. Obviously, she wouldn't have the beard. Well, I hoped not. And it was hard to know what his mouth and jawline looked like underneath it. But I imagined she had those same sparkling eyes and dark hair.

  I tried Facebook first, but Mom was online and she got chatting to me.

  What are you doing up so late?

  Trust her to know the time difference. I told her I was about to sleep. I didn't want to tell her about Crow. I wasn't sure how much she'd heard from Polly. But then I didn't want to not tell her, either. I tried casually telling her I we were together, but there was no way I could slip something like that past her without a fuss. She wanted all the details.

  I'd grabbed my phone to take a photo of my necklace.

  Interesting was all she said.

  I told her all about sightseeing in Paris and sent her some photos.

  Is he a good person? she asked. That's the most important thing.

  He's a good person, I replied. He's the best.

  I'd just shut down the window when I heard a light tapping on my door.

  It was Crow.

  "I didn't wake you?" he asked, and I shook my head. "I couldn't sleep."

  He walked into my room, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight. Then I glanced over to make sure I had nothing incriminating on my computer screen. I didn't want him to know I'd been digging into his past.

  He held me tight for a long time. I guessed confessing the dark secrets of your soul took a lot out of a person. Finally, I took his hand and led him over to the bed. I couldn't stand up hugging him forever.

  I climbed into bed beside him and curled my body against his. He didn't try to kiss me or any of that. He just held me tight, stroking my hair, until he fell asleep.

  Fay

  WE WERE STILL IN EACH other's arms the next morning. "I could get used to waking up next to you," he said.

  "You'd better," I answered. I kissed him lightly on the nose. "Waking up next to me should be on your life agenda, top priority."

  "Your bed hair..."

  Yikes! Did I look like an idiot? I tried to jump up to fix it, but he held me tight.

  "I like it," he said. "It's cute."

  I crept my hand up his body until my arm was around his neck. "It is nice waking up together," I said.

  It was also nice seeing him much happier today. The storm had passed and the sun had come out. I guessed it was a relief for him to have confessed his secrets and have that out of his system. He'd been brave telling me, not knowing how I'd take it and thinking I might reject him. My heart ached for the younger Crow. Walking away had never been an option. Instead, I wanted to make his life brighter and happier, to wipe out the horrors of his past.

  "You haven't had second thoughts?" he asked, as though he was reading my thoughts.

  "Not a one."

  The way he gazed into my eyes made me woozy. It'd be so easy to skip breakfast and stay in bed with him. I suggested that. We could get room service and stay right here.

  "And what's everyone going to think if we're both missing from breakfast?" he asked.

  Even when we stayed at places with room service, Damo liked everyone to gather for breakfast, which was unusual for someone who liked his privacy so much. I guessed it was one of the few chances to get the bands together in one place, but I bet it was more to make sure no one had stayed out all night partying.

  "I don't really care what they think," I said. "They have to get used to us being together sooner or later."

  I could think of a lot of things I wanted more than breakfast, and most of them involved Crow's body parts being in close contact with my
body parts.

  "I told Polly we'd take things slow," he said.

  "We could at least shower together."

  His eyes twinkled. Was that a sign I had a chance?

  "You think it would be that easy? That it'd be just showering? Because I sure as hell couldn't have that temptation in front of me without giving in."

  "You have that temptation in front of you now." I wrapped my leg around his thigh just to prove it.

  He screwed up his face in thought. "It's different. You're not naked. And there's no water involved."

  "There could be water involved," I told him.

  He laughed and climbed out of the bed. Damn it. I wasn't ready for that yet. This bed thing worked nicely for me.

  "So, how slow are we going?" I asked him. "Can I get a time frame?"

  "You want a color-coded schedule?" he said, his eyes twinkling.

  I sat up on the side of the bed, hugging my legs up as I watching him put on his jeans. That was a sight I'd never get sick of, although watching him take them off suited me much better.

  "That would be nice, actually," I said. "Yellow for gentle kisses, orange for intense ones, and red for all the way."

  "What about green?" he asked.

  I looked up at him with a cheeky smile. "Oh, you'll love green. And then there's blue. We could do a bit of blue right now if you like." I waggled my eyebrows, full of suggestion.

  He threw a pillow at me. "Get ready for breakfast."

  I sighed. He hadn't even kissed me. This was way too slow for my liking. I wasn't getting any younger.

  "So, before we leave Paris? Barcelona at the latest?" I asked.

  He didn't answer.

  "Rome?" Surely, we'd do it before Rome. Rome was weeks away. I'd die if we didn't do it before Rome.

  "There are more important things," he said.

  Maybe, but I couldn't think of any. Not when he was so close to me. We didn't even have to go all the way. Just some more kissing and fooling around would be nice.

  When I stood up, though, he pulled me to him. "We have plenty of time," he said. "Don't rush things."

  A thrill went through me, right down to my toes. As much as this waiting drove me crazy, I did like the teasing.

  Then he put his lips to mine. Finally, a kiss! But it ended way too soon.

  "Okay, get ready for breakfast," he said. "I'll see you down there."

  I gave a little moan but he left my room. The man had way too much self-control.

  I got down to breakfast before Crow. Polly gave me a glance, then craned her neck to peer around me, wanting to check whether Crow and I were together. Ha, I'd fooled her. Well, I guessed that was more Crow's doing than mine. She waved at me with a big smile. She was way too happy to see me.

  After I'd loaded up my plate with bacon, I sat down with her and Damo.

  "Tonight is going to be huge," she told me. "We're being filmed for some big music show here. It might get shown all over Europe."

  No wonder she'd been so happy to see me, with news like that.

  "Yikes. We only found out now?"

  "Yep. They were planning to film the Freaks. That was organized way back, but they've asked if they can film us too."

  Polly's grin almost split her face. I could imagine mine was nearly as huge. Just being asked meant we were doing great things.

  "Oh," she said. "There might be an interview beforehand, too."

  "I need Fiona to do my makeup. I have to look sizzling." I looked around but couldn't see her.

  "They'll have their own makeup artists," Polly said.

  "Yeah, but they won't be as good as Fiona. She's magic. I'll ask her when she comes down."

  Before that, Crow arrived. Even though I'd only seen him a few minutes ago, the sight of him walking into the room made my heart flutter. I wanted to jump up and fly into his arms, but I stayed seated. He'd be beside me soon enough, and I didn't want to put on a public display.

  Polly stared at me.

  "What's wrong?" I asked.

  "Your necklace, it's new?" she asked.

  I put my hand up to touch it. I'd thought my grin couldn't get any wider after the TV news, but remembering the necklace amped it tenfold. Crow must've been pretty confident of Polly's answer to have bought this before he'd even spoken to her. I liked that.

  "It sure is," I replied.

  Polly kept looking, but I didn't explain. She could wonder all she liked.

  I wanted to spend the morning with Crow, but he had to go pick up some drumming stuff from one of the shops in the city. I'd have gone with him, but this TV thing was freaking me out. I needed to be super-prepared.

  I spent way too long doing my makeup and hair before heading to the arena. Even if it was going to be redone, I wanted to look perfect. Then I had to pick what to wear. It had to be cute and cool and sexy. I had outfits that hit two out of three of those things, but nothing that ticked all the boxes. Why did I have such shit clothes? I needed to go shopping. Did I have time? I checked the clock. Nope. Not nearly enough. Why hadn't we had more warning of this?

  I called Polly's room. "Pick two of these: cool, cute, sexy?" I asked.

  "I think you want Polly," Damo said.

  "Well, give me your opinion first," I told him. "The more input, the better."

  "Sexy and cool," he said.

  That was what I thought, too. Then he gave Polly the phone.

  "Cute and cool. Not sexy."

  I'd figured she'd say that. I wasn't sure why I'd even asked.

  "Don't panic too much. Anything you have is fine," she added.

  "How do you know that?"

  "I know every outfit you own by now. Anyway, no one will be looking at you with me onstage." She laughed.

  "Yeah, good one, Polly," I said.

  I hung up and tried on the tight, sexy black dress again. It would be perfect but it was a bit tight for easy movement onstage. I held it up in front of me. It did look better on me than anything else I had. A little tightness wouldn't be too bad.

  With that sorted out, I had an hour or so to kill.

  I went back online to continue my search. I got about five likely results, but I wasn't sure what to do with them now that I'd found them. I just stared at the names for a while. One of these people had to be Crow's sister. Then I dug deeper and whittled that list down to three.

  Screw it. I sent emails to those three. I didn't mention Crow's name. That would be stupid. If you asked anyone if they were related to the drummer in a famous rock band, they'd say yes. Instead, I put in the few details he'd told me about his past, hoping one of them would respond. I'd work out what to do next if that happened.

  I was on a roll. The stars were all converging in my favor, and things would only get better.

  Fay

  WE WAITED BACKSTAGE for the interview.

  "They will speak English?" I asked Polly. I couldn't sit still, but I knew the way I jumped around drove Polly nuts, so I tried to calm myself.

  "You idiot. Of course they will. Otherwise, it'd be a damn boring interview."

  I loved being on good terms with Polly again. When we weren't at each other's throats, we really were best friends.

  "Anyway," she said, "it's not like you won't have anything to say. You never shut up."

  "Well, I can't do all the talking. You and Jax have to say stuff too."

  "If we can get a word in edgewise," Jax said. "Anyway, you two are the talent. I'm just here for my good looks."

  I tilted my head, staring at him. "Nope. Definitely not the pretty one," I said. "And I'm the one with the hot boyfriend, too."

  "Hey, shut up," Polly said. "Damo's no slouch in the looks department."

  "I'm with Polly," Jax said. "I'd go Damo any day."

  Jax really did have a bit of a thing about Damo. Poor guy. But then, I figured Jax got his fair share of groupies of both sexes even though he kept pretty quiet about it. He was no Elijah, that's for sure. And if he didn't want to talk about it, I wasn't going to pry into hi
s private life.

  Someone came in to say the camera crew were running ten minutes late. I groaned. I wanted this over with.

  I picked up my phone. There was a message. Holy cow, one of the Crow sister possibilities had replied. She'd grown up in the same town and totally fit the profile. Then I read the last sentence.

  Are you fishing for information on my brother? I can't tell you anything.

  Jackpot!

  I quickly typed a reply, telling her I was on tour with Crow. I wanted to ask if she'd forgiven him, but blurting that out would imply I knew far too much.

  "Hurry up, Fay," Polly said. "They're ready."

  "Just a sec."

  I added a line saying Crow missed her. That covered a lot. Then I jumped up to be interviewed. No problem. I'd be funny and cute and sexy. There was no denying it.

  The whole interview went by in a blur. I talked, but I had no idea what I was saying. There were questions, lots of questions. And then we had to rerecord bits of it from different angles.

  Finally, we were done, and it was time for the Freaks.

  "Did I make a fool of myself?" I asked Polly backstage. I thought I'd done well, but I wanted confirmation of that.

  "No more than usual."

  I poked my tongue out at her. I need reassurance, not sass.

  "You were great," Jax said. "A natural."

  "Yep, I've taken to the spotlight so well. I'm a total pro."

  We had to go run through sound check before I could get any more feedback on my natural abilities.

  Finally, I got some time backstage with Crow. I plonked myself down on his knee and curled my arms around his neck.

  "How did your interview go?" I asked him.

  "Same old. I stood in the back, and Damo did all the talking."

  "I bet Elijah had some things to say, too," I said.

  Crow laughed.

  I couldn't wait for the show to be over so we'd be back at the hotel and could have some time alone. He'd been gone all morning with Jax, and we'd barely had a chance to be together since breakfast. I didn't want to be clingy, but I had so much planned. There were still parts of the city I hadn't seen. Being alone in private was also good. I had things planned for that too.