Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels

by Candy J. Starr

  Fiona.

  I had no idea what to do.

  "Can we make him sign a non-disclosure along with the rights?"

  Ash took in a deep breath. "We can, but we have no guarantee he'll stick by it. I asked the lawyer about having the guy committed. That seemed like a reasonable solution to me, but the lawyers say it won't work. No idea why. Wanting credit for 'Candy-Colored Kitten' is definitely not a sign of a healthy mind."

  "The main question is, what do we do about Fiona."

  I kept pacing. I couldn't sit still and discuss this.

  "I hate to say it, mate, but if things get heated, you're going to have to stay away from her."

  I groaned. "That'll be hard. She's not in a good way. Some of the time, she's fine, but she has her moods."

  Ash laughed. "Well, that's normal for Fiona. She'll always have her moods. You'll have to explain, but hold off on that for a while. The guy might see sense."

  "I'll talk to the hospital," I said. "Surely, they must have security arrangements in place so the media can't just slip into someone's room."

  Ash laughed. "That's naive, don't you think? You know those guys. They'll do anything to get the photos they want. If they have to dress as hospital staff, they'll do that. Or they'll bribe one of the real staff to get the shot for them. Shit, this is a mess."

  He wasn't wrong. But some security was better than nothing at all.

  "She told me not to go in to see her tonight, but I guess I should. You know what she's like."

  "Yeah, I know what she's like, and I know what you're like. She's testing you, and you know what? You should take her at her word. She's recovering, I get that, and probably in more pain than she'll ever let on, but sometimes you have to say 'screw you' to her games. You can't spend your entire live guessing what she wants. Spend some time with your parents, and then tomorrow, she'll be doubly pleased to see you."

  Ash's words made sense, but I hated leaving her alone. I wasn't sure about anything. I knew what her moods were like, and I knew that sometimes I had to walk away, but that didn't make it any easier.

  After I'd finished talking to Ash, I met up with my parents. We went to dinner, but I wasn't good company.

  "You have to look after yourself, too, Matty," Mom said. "You're recuperating too. If you run yourself ragged looking after Fiona, you'll have nothing left to give."

  I nodded. I'd been told that so many times, but looking after myself wasn't something I cared that much about. It seemed to me that the best thing I could do to look after myself was to be with Fiona. It was only then that I could relax.

  I hadn't told Mom and Dad about the crazy songwriter. I didn't want to tell anyone until I had to.

  I picked at my food. Even though it was delicious, I had no appetite. When Mom and Dad wanted to go for drinks afterward, I told them to go ahead. I'd return to the hotel. They both argued. My brooding silence probably made them both uncomfortable.

  I got to my room, determined not to give in and visit Fiona. I sat watching the light in her window. As much as I wanted to return to the hospital, Ash had been right. I should stay away. I had too much on my mind. Maybe tomorrow, this whole mess would blow over.

  I kept watch until it was too late to return to her. Visiting hours were long over. Still, I stared at her window, wondering what she was doing.

  Finally, her light went out, and I could sleep.

  Fiona

  NURSE LUCY'S MAKEOVER didn't quite go to plan. With the use of only one arm, I couldn't do half the things I wanted to do. Mostly, I instructed her on what to do. I did a few things like her eyeliner myself.

  "We'll have to give the false eyelashes a miss, I think," I said. "That might be too high-level to do one-handed."

  "Probably a good thing. I'm not a false eyelashes person."

  "Oh, it'd be something natural, not drag queen lashes."

  I glanced at the door. Matty hadn't come back yet. It'd been over an hour.

  After a few finishing touches, Lucy was ready for her date.

  "I look so glamorous," she said. "Not at all like a frumpy nurse."

  I laughed. "I guess winged eyeliner isn't a priority when you're working."

  She nodded. "But I should make more effort. A bit of makeup wouldn't hurt. And now I'm free. A night on the town. Anton will be shocked when he sees me."

  "Have you been dating long?" I asked.

  "About six months."

  "Getting into serious territory, then."

  Lucy shrugged. "I hope so. He's been on the fence, but hopefully tonight he'll realize what a hot babe I am. Too good to let go."

  I smiled. I hoped so too.

  Doing the makeover left me a little depressed. I'd assumed that once I got these bandages off and started to heal, I'd be able to cover the scars a little, but the reality was that, until my arm got back to normal, I didn't have the skills to do that.

  Once Lucy had left, I waited for Matty. Surely, he wouldn't really take me at my word and stay away. But then, I'd been so grumpy with him. As soon as I'd said those words, I'd regretted them. He'd left, and all I'd wanted to do was call him to come back. Then I remembered he was keeping something from me, and I tried to wipe him from my mind.

  A nurse came in with my dinner. I pushed the food around my plate. It wasn't very appetizing.

  By the time it got to about nine o'clock, I gave up hope on Matty. Maybe he wanted to spend the night with his parents. That was understandable. He hadn't seen them for a long time.

  I picked up the phone beside my bed. I'd call him and tell him how miserable I felt.

  But then, if he did come in, it'd only be out of pity. I hated people pitying me the most. I put the phone away from me.

  I could spend a night alone. I picked up one of the magazines, but fashion magazines were filled with pretty people. Their clear skin taunted me from the pages. I'd taken that for granted once.

  I put the magazine back, then turned on the television. The voices annoyed me.

  Everything annoyed me.

  I tried to work out what had gone wrong with Matty. He'd gotten a message from someone. If it'd been a problem with his parents, he'd have told me. If it'd been something small, he'd have told me. Something had pulled him away from me.

  The logical conclusion was an issue with the tour. Maybe Damo. Damo was angry with Matty for missing so many shows. That was the kind of thing Matty would never tell me. I'd told him to rejoin the tour, but he'd said he wanted to be with me. I wanted him with me too, but I didn't want him ruining his life.

  I had to be stronger, push him harder, instead of thinking about myself.

  I wouldn't apologize for my harsh words. I'd be even more moody and horrible until he no longer wanted to be with me.

  No. That wouldn't work.

  I had to think of some way to get him back on that tour, though. There was less than two months left, and if Matty didn't return soon, they'd replace him with another guitarist.

  The easiest way to do this would be to get better fast. Or at least convince Matty that I had. I had to do something. No matter what, I had to get Matty back to his regular life.

  I'd been way too selfish.

  Fiona

  THE NEXT DAY, MATTY came in with his parents. I put on a smile, which wasn't hard because Matty's parents were lovely.

  "I bought you a rug I crocheted," his mom said, getting it out of the bag. "I'm not sure if it's stylish enough for you, though. It's just a handmade thing."

  I nearly cried when I saw it. The only thing my mother had ever made me was a sandwich. Then she'd yell at me to go outside and eat it because she had "company" coming over. Thinking that someone would spend hours laboring over a project like this choked me up. I wasn't sure how to thank her.

  "It's amazing," I said. "The colors are just beautiful, and the work you've put into it--thank you so much."

  I spread the blanket over my legs and stoked the soft wool. It made me sad to accept such a gorgeous gift while I'd been planning t
o push Matty away, but I could hardly refuse it on those grounds.

  "It's nothing much. Not like the expensive designer things you'd have."

  "But designer things I have are just things. I don't think anyone has ever made me anything like this before. I'll think of you every time I look at it."

  Matty's dad got out the phone he'd bought me and set it all up.

  While the two of them chatted, Matty hardly got a word in. Then his mom fussed around, tidying things that didn't even need tidying.

  "I'll buy you some sleepwear tomorrow," she said. "I'm not sure those skimpy things you have on are best for hospital."

  I looked down at my camisole. "I'm stuck in bed all day, so only the nurses see me. And Matty."

  "Still," his mom said, "you'll be out of that bed in no time and zipping around the hospital. You don't want to give some of the old men around here heart attacks, because if they see you dressed like that, that's what'll happen."

  I laughed, but Matty looked strange, as though the idea of me leaving my room worried him.

  After a while, Matty excused himself and went out. His mom kept chatting with me, so I couldn't ask him what was going on. Maybe I wouldn't need to push him away. Maybe he'd go on his own.

  It seemed to be getting more and more that way. He'd lied to me. He'd made excuses to leave me alone.

  That feeling of closeness between us yesterday had been a real thing. At least it'd seemed that way to me, but maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see. Maybe, for Matty, it'd been a pity fuck. Well, a pity fooling around. Who knew? I couldn't straight up ask him, but I wasn't an idiot.

  The signs all pointed to a guy who was pulling away. And if he pulled, I wouldn't stop him from going.

  When the nurse came in with my lunch, Matty's mom waved her away. "I've made her something," she said.

  The nurse scowled. "We have a special diet designed for our patients."

  But Matty's mom wouldn't hear a word of it. She got out the food she'd made, and it was amazing.

  "I couldn't do much," she said. "I only have a microwave at the hotel. But hospital food can be so bland."

  While I was eating, Matty came back into the room. I raised my eyebrows questioningly, but he just smiled and sat down. He really wasn't going to talk about this.

  Not long after that, the nurse came back to tell them to leave. This time, she wouldn't take no for an answer.

  "You can come back tomorrow," she told them. "Fiona's not used to so many visitors."

  "I'll stay," said Matty.

  The nurse shook her head. "Give your girlfriend some private time. It's been a big morning for her."

  I wanted to argue, but I wanted to sleep as well. All this had tired me out.

  "I'll be back after lunch," Matty said.

  After they'd left, I kept stroking the blanket his mother had given me. With Matty, I wasn't just getting a fantastic man, I was getting everything I'd ever craved: a loving family. His parents had never once acted like they pitied me. But maybe, if I kept holding Matty back, that would change in time too.

  Matty

  ASH CALLED ME THAT night. The worst had happened.

  "Before we could talk him out of it, he went to the papers. The damn fool. At least we got a bit of warning, but by tomorrow, this whole sorry story is going to be everywhere."

  My stomach sank. It did more than sink. It plopped like a lead weight. I'd have to talk to Fiona. The situation had reached the point where she had to know about it.

  I'd spoken to the doctor and then to one of the hospital administrators. They'd said they'd do as much as they could when it came to security, but they couldn't guarantee anything. I'd thought as much. They advised me to hire my own guards for her. Even that wouldn't stop a determined paparazzo, but I contacted a few security companies. It wouldn't be cheap, but there was no way I'd leave her without some kind of security.

  I needed to talk to her now. Tonight. I wanted to be able to explain face-to-face. The story hadn't broken yet, but as soon as even a whisper of that scandal got out, I'd have to stay away from her.

  I pulled on my jacket and rushed to the hospital.

  When I got to her floor, the nurse tried to stop me from going into her room.

  "Sorry, this is important," I said, brushing past her.

  "Visiting hours ended twenty minutes ago. It doesn't matter who you are. Rules are rules."

  "I said, this is important," I snapped.

  I hated talking to her like that, but I couldn't let her delay me. I walked into Fiona's room, daring the nurse to stop me.

  Fiona was still awake. "Matty? What's up?" she said when she saw me.

  "We need to talk," I said.

  "Oh." Fiona's voice was quiet.

  "I won't be able to see you for a while," I said.

  She didn't look at me. Instead, she gazed at her hands, folded in her lap. "I understand. That's fine."

  "I don't think you do understand," I told her. "There's been a huge fuck-up."

  I explained the situation to her, the whole "Candy-Colored Kitten" disaster.

  "Ash says the guy's crazy. He just wants to make a news splash for the sake of it, but it means I'll be under scrutiny for a few weeks. I'll have reporters watching me, following me around. The whole paparazzi shit."

  Fiona nodded but didn't say anything.

  "I don't want to expose you to that," I said. "As soon as anyone sees me coming to the hospital, the reporters will be on it like rabid dogs. And that'll lead them to you."

  She finally looked up at me. "I've said all along, you should go back to the tour. I'm dragging you down."

  I reached for her hand, but she pulled it away from me. It felt like she'd built a solid wall around herself, keeping me on the other side. I wanted to break down that wall, but I couldn't. Not right now.

  "I think in this case, I'm the one dragging you down," I told her. "You don't need this right now, and the only solution I can think of is for me to stay away. We can still phone and talk. It's not like it'll be forever. In a week or so, they'll be distracted by other things." I raked my fingers through my hair. "God, Fi, this is the absolute last thing I wanted."

  "Don't fret, Matty. I'll be fine."

  "I'll get a guard organized so no one can get into your room."

  "Go back on the tour and don't worry about me."

  She kept saying that, but going back to the tour wouldn't help. "I don't want to go back on the tour," I said. "You know I want to stay here and look after you."

  She turned to me then, her eyes blazing. "I don't want you to look after me. I want to be left alone. Don't you get it? You're just going to cause me problems, and it's not fair on me. I have enough to worry about now without the risk of them plastering photos of my ugly face all over the papers. I want my privacy and I want my space, so you should just run along. You're too famous now. You'll always be a problem for me."

  I wanted to argue with her, but what could I say? She wasn't wrong.

  "I'll call you in a few days, after this all dies down."

  "Don't bother. Maybe it's better to make a clean break. Think of the future. If I'm with you, I'll always have media attention, and that's exactly what I don't want. This thing will blow over in a few weeks, sure. But you'll still be famous. I was a model, a face on a billboard. People forget that easily, and anyway, no one is going to look at this face and connect it to the person I was. It's not even about the media attention, but some kid snapping a pic on their phone if we go somewhere to eat or a fan posting to the internet. No matter what, I can't stay private if I'm with you. You think I need you, but really, you're just being selfish wanting to stay with me. You're not thinking about the most important thing, which is my privacy."

  She didn't look up at me. She didn't even get angry.

  "We can't just be over," I said.

  "Actually, yes, we can. It's not a big deal. We had fun, but we don't belong together."

  I lingered for a while, wanting to talk about this,
but Fiona didn't want to talk.

  "I need to sleep," she said. "Leave now."

  I walked back to the hotel, not quite sure what the hell had gone on there. It was another one of her moods. It had to be. She needed time to think this over. But it was most definitely not the end.

  Matty

  I GOT STRAIGHT ON MY phone the next morning, expecting to be the trending story. After checking a few sites, I took a deep breath. The story hadn't broken. Yet. It was just a matter of time, but time was exactly what I needed. It meant I could go back to the hospital and talk things over with Fiona.

  After a night's sleep, I was sure she'd see things differently. It'd only be a week or so, and the whole scandal would blow over. No one had that long an attention span nowadays.

  All night, I'd considered what she'd said. The stupid thing was that I'd be happy to quit the tour, get totally out of the spotlight and settle down somewhere with her. Neither of us needed to work, and I sure as hell didn't need fame. We could buy a place in the country and get a dozen dogs, maybe rescue dogs that no one would adopt. Or we could live in the city. A tropical island, even. I'd be happy to do whatever Fiona wanted.

  Once I quit, we could get totally out of the public eye.

  It was way too early yet for her think about what she wanted, but we had options. We had options that most people in the world only dreamed about. That was the most important thing, and I needed her to see that. In her mind, there were only two possibilities: that I kept on with the tour and had career success, or I stayed with her and made some huge sacrifice, but to me, there were no sacrifices.

  Being with Fiona wasn't an obligation, and it wasn't a burden. It was my heart's desire. If only I could get that through to her.

  I put on a hat and glasses to go to the hospital. Things might be fine now, but by the time I wanted to leave, who knew? It didn't take long for a story to hit these days.