I don’t understand. How? Who came in and cleaned?
Hadley releases my hand when she spots her beloved doll over in the corner. “Phoebe!” She runs at full speed, lifting it into her arms and hugging it tightly. “Can I bring her back to Connor’s?”
“I’m sure he won’t mind.” I smile softly, relieved that she got past her fears and thankful that someone had come in and cleaned up so Hadley didn’t have to see the destruction.
Chapter Eighteen
Ellie
When we get back to Connor’s house with a bag of clothes each, there’s a very expensive SUV parked next to his.
“Who is that, Mommy?” Hadley asks.
“I don’t know.”
We walk toward the car and the driver door opens, a pair of red heels hit the dirt, and I smile.
“Hi, Sydney,” I say as I make my way over.
“I was hoping I’d find you here.”
“Hadley, this is Miss Sydney.”
Sydney extends her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”
They shake, and Hadley looks up to the house. “It’s nice to meet you too. You have really pretty shoes.”
“Thank you.” Sydney’s voice is laced with a smile. “You have very pretty eyes.”
My heart lurches to a stop as I wonder if she sees it. If Sydney knows the brothers as well as she says she does, will she be observant enough to figure it out?
“Thank you, Miss Sydney. Mommy, can I go find Connor?”
“I don’t think . . .”
“Please! I have to help with the barn. I’m sure he’s there. He said once I was done with school I could help him because he needs help. Yesterday, he let the chickens out the wrong door, and I had to chase them so they’d go back in. You can’t let the chickens run around when the cows are there.” Hadley huffs as though it’s common knowledge. “I told him, but he said he was trying to get things done so he could go back to repairing the house. Then we found another problem in the fence, so he was upset.”
“Well, then, don’t you think he has a lot to do and you’ll be in the way?” I ask, hoping she’ll leave him be.
Sydney laughs. “I think you should go find him and let him know all the other things that are broken.”
“You know Connor?” The suspicion in her voice rings clear.
“I do. I knew him when he was a little boy who would follow me around, asking to ride my horses.”
“Really?”
“Yup.”
Hadley’s brow furrows as she looks Sydney up and down. “Did you know he’s my best friend and he thinks I’m the best.”
“He is? Well, he’s a lucky guy,” Sydney’s voice is light and playful. “I wish I had a best friend like you, but . . . he got you first.”
She nods once. “He did. And he calls me Squirt.”
Sydney’s smile grows. “You have a nickname from him?”
“I do.”
“Wow, do know that Connor loves nicknames. When we were little, I gave him the best one and since you’re his best friend, I think you should have it.”
Hadley claps her hands together and squeals. “Really?”
“Absolutely! You should call him Duckie. He loved it so much, and he would laugh so hard hearing it again!” Sydney’s smile tells me that he will not do that.
“Okay! Can I go, Mom?”
“I guess so, but if you don’t find him in the barn, please come right back.”
“I will!” Hadley yells over her shoulder since she’s already running away from us.
Sydney gives a soft laugh. “She’s adorable.”
I watch her run at full speed, hair swaying side to side, and my chest feels lighter. She looks so carefree, like she should be. I try to remember any other time I’d seen her like this, and I come up short.
Sure, she’s been happy in the last seven years, but it’s different. Right now, I don’t see the hesitancy to just be a kid. It’s as if she’s really found a sense of safety that allows her to . . . be free.
“She’s all that matters to me.”
“And it seems she’s smitten with Connor.”
I nod. “The two of them have formed an instant bond.”
Sydney’s shoulders go back, and she fidgets a bit. I know she’s thinking it, based on her comment about her eyes. If Sydney dated his oldest brother, surely, she saw the resemblance. “Connor is a good man.”
“He is.”
“He’s been through a lot. They all have been, and . . . did you and Connor know each other before?”
I stop her right there. “Connor and I slept together eight years ago, and yes, I know that Hadley has his eyes . . . and his smile.”
She exhales. “I didn’t want to pry, but it was . . . impossible not to see. At least for me because, well, I fell in love with those eyes when I was a little girl.”
If it was so easy for Sydney to see, I can’t help but wonder if Connor’s father ever noticed. He used to look at Hadley with a wash of confusion, but he never said anything or even so much as hinted at it. Maybe he knew? Maybe that was why he was always so nice to us. I figured it was because he was lonely, but what if he saw the similarity?
“Would you like to sit?” I offer. “It’s a long story.”
Sydney and I walk up to the porch, and I can see the unease in her. “This house, it has a lot of memories for me. I haven’t been here since the night Declan left.” She lets out a half-laugh. “I thought if I could avoid it for long enough, it wouldn’t hurt, but . . .”
“Houses have truths that don’t ever die.”
She looks up at me and shrugs. “I guess so, but love sure as hell does.”
Isn’t that the truth?
We sit, and I relay the story of how Connor and I met and all that happened after. It feels easier this time, telling Sydney. I’m able to go through it, and she just listens.
“Wow,” she says once I’m done.
“Yeah.”
“And he knows that you have doubts?”
“He does,” I reply with a bit of hesitancy.
He hasn’t really brought it up. I keep waiting for him to ask for a paternity test, but it has yet to come. I would think that would’ve been the first thing he wanted. Unless, he doesn’t want to know.
Which doesn’t make sense given his personality.
Connor is fiercely protective of his family. He’s made that clear when he speaks of his brothers or his mother. I would think that Hadley would be no different, especially since he already seems to care for her.
“Well, this is a bit of a revelation.”
“Will it change things for the divorce?”
Sydney shakes her head. “Nope. If anything, it’ll make it easier for you since we won’t have to fight about any kind of child support or visitation. Did you guys get a test yet?”
“No, we sort of . . . it hasn’t really . . . I’ve been waiting for him to . . . ask for one. I don’t want to push him. It’s a lot to take in, especially when that night was supposed to just be that. I didn’t even know his name until a few weeks ago.”
She laughs and her eyes are filled with disbelief. “You’re kidding me.”
“Nope.”
“I don’t know whether to be in awe or be in shock. It’s like those stories that you hear about when people find their way back together after fifty years, but this is so much more amazing.”
I don’t know if it’s anything other than happening. Connor has saved me, and not only from the situation that happened with Kevin. If I had never had that one night with him, if I hadn’t known that there was more than what I had, I would have given up a long time ago.
“Well, that’s all of it.”
Sydney leans back in her seat. “That’s so insane, and yet, so Connor.”
“What’s so Connor?” His deep voice causes me to jump.
“Hey. Hi. We were just talking about you.”
He and Hadley share a look and then start to climb the stairs. “I figured that much. Nice t
o see you, Syd. Anything I can do for you?”
She gets up, hand on her hip and head tilted. “You can start by telling me how much you’ve missed me.”
“I would, Goose, but it seems that my friend Hadley here is calling me Duckie. Any idea how that came about?”
Her smile is wide as she bursts out laughing. “God, that night was the best thing ever.” She turns back to me. “You see, the Arrowood brothers are inherently evil, at least to each other. There is nothing off-limits, and if they know your weakness, they use it. Connor here was afraid of this pond on my farm. It could’ve been because Declan, Jacob, and Sean told him that if you put your toes in, they’d fall off, but only if your name started with a C.”
Connor moves up the steps. “Don’t let her fool you, she is far from innocent here. Syd was the sister I never wanted.”
“Please, I was always nice to you,” she defends.
“The hell you were!”
“Anyway,” Sydney starts in after giving him an eye roll. “We told Connor we wanted to play Duck, Duck, Goose, but the only way to play was to act like a duck.”
I see this going very badly. Connor glares at her with a sort of brotherly affection under all that gruff. “In the water.”
“Of the pond at my house,” Sydney tacks on. “Then his brothers tossed him in and forced him to be the duck. Oh, you should’ve seen him, terrified that his toes were going to fall off but making duck sounds at the same time. It was priceless.”
Sydney’s arms are wrapped around her stomach as she laughs. I can’t help but join in because his expression right now is priceless. It’s as though he still hasn’t gotten over it and he hates that she’s telling stories he clearly would rather I not know.
“Did he catch any of you?” I ask.
“Nope, he was quacking and running away.”
He moves closer to me. “Yeah, you should all be so proud of torturing a six-year-old. And you can laugh now, but when my mother showed up, none of you assholes were at that time.”
Sydney rolls her eyes again. “You got all of us grounded for a month.”
“Deservingly.”
“Please, it was two feet of water, you big baby.”
Connor turns to me. “Do you see why I left this town? It’s filled with horribly mean people who have no remorse.”
I shrug. “I think you survived okay.”
He shakes his head and then turns to Sydney. “What are you doing here anyway? No one invited you, that’s for sure.”
“Well . . .” Sydney moves to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Ellie and I are now best friends, Duckie. You’re going to have to accept this as a fact and realize that, if you’re hanging around her, it will include some time with me.”
He grins as though it doesn’t bother him in the least. “It’s all good, Syd. I know exactly how to handle you.”
Oh, Lord. That sounds ominous. However, this volley back and forth is the most fun I’ve had in years. These two clearly adore one another but have no problem giving the other shit. It’s what I always imagined having a sibling would be like.
“And how exactly is that?” she asks.
His grin spreads, and there’s a look of mischief in his eyes. “I’ll call Declan.”
And with that, I see that Sydney and I may both be captivated by an Arrowood.
“Hey,” Connor says with an easy smile as he makes his way into the living room where I’m grading papers. It’s been a crazy night, and I’m still trying to get caught back up from being out of work after the beating.
“He—” Complete words die on my tongue as I look up and get a look at him. He must’ve just gotten out of the shower because he’s in a pair of gym shorts and no shirt with damp hair. There are a few drops of water rolling down his chest.
My throat goes dry as I drink him in. I can see each muscle with perfect clarity as though he’s in high definition. His hair is slicked back, and my fingers itch to touch it. He rubs his hand against the smooth skin of his chest, and then up to his neck. I’ve seen him with his shirt off, hell, I’ve seen him naked, but this . . . this body is a whole new world of wow.
I turn to keep myself from swooning off the chair.
“Working?” he asks as he moves behind me, reading over my shoulder.
Oh my God. Get a grip, Ellie.
But I can’t because I can feel the heat coming off his chest and smell the musky soap that he used.
His arm comes down to the right of me, resting his hand on the table, using it to hold his body up.
“Uh-huh,” I stay, completely frozen, afraid that if I move, I might accidentally touch him, which then might lead to me saying or doing something incredibly dumb. That seems to be something I’ve been fighting a bit harder with each day I’m here.
Kissing him is all I think about.
Wondering if we fit together the way we did all those years ago fills my fantasies.
It’s dangerous ground, but the injuries might be worth it.
“Need help?”
I shake my head and try to focus on the very non-sexy English papers about punctuating dialogue I should be grading.
“Ellie?”
I move my head to the side to look up at his face, hoping that maybe that will be better than the muscles in his arm that are so close. “Yeah?”
He grins, eyes crinkling, and I realize I made a grave mistake. His face is really what’s beautiful, and when he smiles, well, it’s damn near impossible not to get lost.
But I don’t need to be lost.
I need to keep my head on straight, get a divorce, and get the hell out of here.
“You going to stay up much later?”
No, in fact, I’m going to my room right now so I don’t do anything I regret. “I’m done, actually.”
“I was asking because I have to get up early tomorrow. I want to work on the main house instead of the barn. I’d like to check the house and lock up, but I usually wait until you’re in bed.”
“Yeah, all done. Not a big deal. Main house is good. Locks and all that,” I stammer like a fool.
“You all right?”
“I’m great,” I say way too quickly, gathering the papers into stacks that make no sense but needing to do something with my hands. “I’m just tired, you know, working and all the other stuff. Plus, Sydney has the divorce papers all drawn up, and it’s been a lot to sort through.”
“So, you’re going through with it?”
I look up, pulling the papers to my chest as though they’re some kind of barrier of protection. “Of course.”
“I hadn’t heard anything.”
I wasn’t sure what to tell him. It’s one of those things I don’t really want to talk about, but at the same time, Connor and I have spent the last two weeks practically living together, which is strange.
“I’m sorry, I sort of . . . have been waiting since we can’t serve him for a bit.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize, you don’t owe me any explanations.”
No, maybe I don’t owe it to him, but I guess I could’ve mentioned it. But then I think about the last few times we’ve talked and how those conversations have been about what he’s working on here or my job. We’ve been almost avoiding talking about things that are personal.
I don’t know why that is, but there’s something that’s been bothering me for a few days now.
“Connor, can I ask you something?” I say before I have time to stop myself.
“Of course.”
I swallow the nerves since it’s too late to go back now. “Do you want to find out if Hadley is yours?”
His eyes meet mine, and my heart races as I wait for him to say something—anything.
“More than anything.”
“Then why haven’t you said anything?”
He moves closer, pulling the papers from my hands and placing them down on the table. “Because you’ve been through hell and so has she. While I want to know if she is my daughter more than I
’ve wanted anything in my entire life, I also won’t be selfish and demand it happen now. I can wait, Ellie. I can wait until you’re ready.”
“Ready for what?”
He lifts his hand, pushing the hair off my face. His voice is soft, careful, and yet, there’s a confidence underlying it all. “Me.”
Chapter Nineteen
Connor
“How are things going?” Sean asks after avoiding my phone calls the last two weeks.
“Like you give a fuck.”
I get that my brother is some big-time baseball player, but he’s fucking annoying when he thinks no one else’s time is as valuable as his. Declan is helping figure out the land values thanks to one of his clients who deals in real estate, Jacob is doing . . . God knows what, but Sean was going to reach out to some guy named Zach Hennington who he played baseball with to figure out the damn cows since he has a cattle ranch.
I’m failing at this part. I have no clue what to do with the animals other than what a very adorable seven-year-old who instructs me to do. Which I have no clue if that’s even right, but it’s better than what I’ve been doing so far. Ellie’s farmhands have been helping me a bit when I have questions, but they’re busy running her farm.
Even though I grew up around the animals, I never really cared much about learning how to run it. I did my chores, which were usually mending fences or the carpentry type things, and my brothers dealt with the animals.
“Look, I’m busy,” he explains. “I did my best, but I have shit going on.”
“And I don’t?” I throw back at him. “I know absolutely nothing about cows, Sean. You’re supposed to handle that part.”
“I gave Dec his number.”
I huff and curse under my breath. Declan is just as bad lately at calling me back. In fact, the three of them can kiss my fucking ass. I’ve been here a month, busting my ass, with absolutely no help other than Declan getting funds to me, which was something I had to call ten times about, while they live their lives, oblivious to the shit I’m dealing with.
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