Blood Sabers

by Burbaugh, MF;

  “How totally barbaric! He should be beheaded! I know, he just has a little thing, but it could still make babies!” She hesitated. “Sorry, I keep forgetting you people are so different. When I tell, no courtesan will touch him; they want children. We do have a few paid prostitutes that would probably take him on if he can afford them. Like my sister, she specializes in oral sex only. Fathers sometimes use them for their sons to get over the initial shock of manhood, if you know what I mean.”

  I nodded. “You tell what you do here?”

  She stared into my eyes, my heart, I think.

  “We are women—by tonight every woman in Camelot who is not married will dream sweet dreams of receiving John’s seed.” She walked away.

  She went back, took the rest of Bills measurements, cut, and checked.

  Linda brought Bill back and turned his stack of cloth over to a beautiful seamstress.

  We all stood around out front and chatted for ten minutes. Finally, they were finished. The fitting of underwear and the skimpy, almost-dresses of the women seemed more important than a $6000 suit in L.A. on old Earth.

  Bill wore a nice burgundy color. Mary had a light gold hue and she was stunning in the see-through thing they called a dress. Sylvia had as close as was allowed to the royal red and it accentuated her beauty. Both struck me as some goddess statues I’d seen pictures of in schoolbooks.

  “These actually feel wonderful!” Mary said.

  “Good, we aim to please. The formal dresses will be along for fitting in a few days—the sashes will be as well,” Willard said. “If you will excuse me, my daughter and I have a meeting and she has the gossip to pass.” He said to Bill, “Mister Bill, might I suggest you see our doctors and get that despicable vasectomy reversed? If not, you get no sex on this planet, unless Mary there likes dead seed.”

  “You never told me you got one!” she said to Bill.

  “I, I, I,” Bill stammered.

  “I didn’t know you had another eye—is it on your ass?” I said, and laughed.

  Willard and Linda stared at me for a second, smiled, and walked off. “Don’t forget the honors shop,” he said. She held and patted her fathers’ hand as they continued down the street.

  We found the honors shop. The proprietor’s name was Pat, a little wisp of a girl, but like all the rest, quite striking. Seems Willard had already spoken to her. She gave me my choice of either the purple heart or their version. I liked their version; no one would know it anyway. The other, I could not have without the King’s permission, but they did have a recorded version of ours.

  “Fine,” I said.

  She had various samples of their medals on her walls, all well made and finely detailed. Pride was in their work.

  She said, “Welcome to our home again, I think.” She just stared into my eyes, then out the door at the rest of them. She squeezed my hand and said, “I will let you know when I get them done.”

  “I don’t know were we will be,” I said.

  “I do,” and pointed to an earbud in her left ear. With that she slipped behind the curtain.

  I went outside to my crew. I linked hands with Sylvia and we walked up the blue stone path to the gates. As we topped the hill, I was surprised and mystified.

  A fairytale castle was ahead of us—drawbridge, spires, and all. White marble with what looked like veins of gold in it.

  “It is gold, yes,” a female voice said from behind.

  “Very pretty, very pretty indeed,” I said.

  “A bargain with Linda’s evil Creator. She chose the design well, I think,” she said.

  We all turned, a woman stood there with her hand on my shoulder wearing a thin band of fur over her breasts and a small patch tied around her waist. I would say she was in her late 40s, early 50s. Striking, even at that age.

  “Ha, I wish,” she said, as she dropped her hand. “I could have sexed your grandfather if he lived here. I will not divulge my age though.” A strange woman she was. “I am called The Chief. I am also called President of the UNF and a few other things. I am also called the bitch.” She smiled. “All most complimentary, I assure you.

  “I am informed you will be here not less than six months. Rodel, will you record their answers for the record?” She pointed to an earbud. “Wired 24/7. All will be entered in the great book.

  “I ask an honest question which must be answered before we go further,” she said.

  “I am the only one on the entire planet who answers to no-one. I watch over the tribe and ensure its development and prosperity. I will kill anyone who harms the tribe, or I will cause them to die.” She smiled and studied Sylvia, then at each of us. “I also do not lie.

  “I require an oath, sworn and recorded. You agree by whatever god or gods you worship to abide by my laws and the King’s Council’s orders as long as you reside on my planet, so long as it does not threaten your lives?” She smirked. “Your sensibilities maybe, but not your lives.”

  “We owe our lives to your people at this point, so I guess I can do so,” I said. “I must reserve our answer as a crew based on our laws as well.”

  Mary only nodded.

  Bill started to object and she stopped him.

  “Or, if you wish we can return you to your ship,” she said.

  “I see much wisdom in your offer,” he said with a grin.

  While glancing at me, Sylvia said, “When in Rome, I guess,” and sort of shrugged.

  “Recorded. You are aware we have very few laws that are considered easy going. Out of almost 50 now, I think 30 require death. The others may only require loss of hands or feet or your tools or jewels, as we say?”

  “We noted a few were quite harsh, yes,” I said.

  “We are barbarians, we are proud of the fact we don’t play games. I have read of your planet Earth, the fact anyone can stand to live there is most surprising. We set few rules, and our seers ensure compliance. There are no appeals, no lawyers, none needed. Guilty, flick, off with the head; not guilty, you live.” She stated it so simply. “You ladies understand our ways, don’t you?”

  Sylvia looked at me then back to The Chief, and shook her head.

  “We women run the tribe, all its functions, all its needs. We set its direction. We allow a few males to pretend they have some say in our world, which is only a tribute to King Jake, but it is truly at our whim and they know it. The Koteck war settled the issue for the last time. We died in the thousands for that right while all but three men hid to protect the seed. We directed that they all hide of course, but those three were most stubborn.” She laughed. “Those three are our heroes. King Jake, The General, and Big Guy.

  “I am called a seer. I need to know some things—may I approach each of you and look in your eyes? I promise no physical harm.”

  I looked at the others and shrugged. “Why not?”

  She went to Bill first. She took both his hands and moved in to stare him down. “A troubled soul this one.” She turned him and butting close against his back, ran her hands from his head down his body and turned him back around. She grabbed his privates through his new shorts and squeezed. “You are a new soul to me, but I promise, if you do not get this abomination repaired I will rip it off when next we meet.” She let go and looked him straight in the eyes. “I mean what I say and I say it but once. We understand each other?”

  His eyes were watering, I could tell it hurt.

  Bill looked for help, found none, and said, “No offense, but I think I see were the bitch comes in.”

  She patted his chest. “Good boy. No offense taken, which is why you still can take a breath.”

  She took Mary’s hands. Looked her in the eyes. Turned her around and slowly ran her hands from her neck down to her toes.

  “Again, I do not know this one. Was going to space really worth murdering a baby? Never mind. I do not wish to know. We may discuss it later. From a philosophical point of view, of course.” She had a way about her. “I say to you also, get that abomination fixed while
on my planet. When you leave it is up to you, are we clear?”

  “Yes, bitch, err, Chief,” she said.

  “Bitch is fine. I can be one, rather than the gracious, loving, and caring creature before you now.” She laughed. I did too. “Your turn is coming, my friend.”

  I actually felt fear.

  She took Sylvia’s hands, following the same actions as with Mary.

  “A shame, such warmth and love being stifled in your soul. I think it can be fixed. I know this soul, yes indeed. You must get fixed as well. Let’s see, two days is the official reception. The day after that see the Doc. She will take care of it. I also must speak with you, maybe this evening or in the morning.” She had this weird smile.

  She stepped in front of me and nodded. “Like to laugh at poor old women doing their jobs?” She grinned; I didn’t.

  As she looked into my eyes I swear I felt my heart being ripped out. She looked questioningly at me and took a step back. She came forward again and gazed deeply. Tearing, I felt tearing in my chest. Then my heart was caressed gently, kissed, and put back. She let go of my hands and went behind me, and, like the others, she ran her hands slowly down my body while she was butted right up against me. She went all the way to my toes and walked around to my front. “You were wounded badly, almost died, four shots in the torso, two in a leg. A young female doctor operated on you in the back of an ambulance at the scene and saved your life. You later had sex with her one time. It was very slow and lasted a long, soul-repairing time. Correct?”

  “How? I never told anyone, no one, ever.” I was shocked to my bones.

  She patted my cheek. “She had a baby boy from that, by the way. She died in a car wreck a year later. A most happy young woman.”

  “You are making it all up of course!” Sylvia said.

  “Of course I am. I have nothing better to do than risk my life telling a lie to impress a few visitors from space,” she said.

  She backed up to Sylvia again. “I see now what I needed to see. You love him deeply. Yes or no, truth invoked.”

  Sylvia said, “I have fought it many years but yes, he knows it.”

  “Good, I will perform the ceremony at the reception. We so love doing that; it is done. Get fixed today then, do not wait.”

  She stepped back and said to all of us, “I am a soul reader, by the way. A few have the gift. We know other things, but I do not answer questions. I sense a danger to the tribe comes. Maybe all humanity, or the Father would not have…never mind. Do as I commanded. I will practice the words and we will see you at the reception.” She strutted to the gate. “I must see the king at once!” she said to the guard, then I guess to the earbud, “Call the Round Table to order so I may address them no later than tomorrow.”

  We all just looked at each other. Befuddled would almost fit.

  “Some sort of loony?” Bill asked.

  “No loony, I know she is no loony,” Sylvia said.

  “Way too nosy, if you ask me,” Mary said.

  I told Mary, “Go with the flow. We all know what you did, and probably why, but relax, these people seem simple and honest and caring. I don’t think she was diplomatic about anything, but she said things and knew things that could not have been known by anyone.”

  Sylvia said, “You did? The ambulance girl I mean?”

  What could I say, I just nodded.

  “This all happened after I left you in college, didn’t it?”

  Again I nodded. “When Nanotech came out the scars were removed.”

  “If you do not want to, we can get it annulled later of course. Foreign government and all,” she said, as she held my hand, and I squeezed it.

  “I had to run to the stars and almost get killed a half dozen times, then get ordered to do what I’ve always wanted too by some old bitch in charge of some lost planet full of blue women. No Sylvia, I don’t think I’ll be getting it annulled any time soon. Too many coincidences, far too many.”

  She moved against me and actually hugged me. A quick kiss then we presented ourselves at the gate.

  “Who approaches Castle Camelot?” The guard challenged.

  “Err, we do,” I said. “I am the Acting Captain of #7 explorer.”

  “I see no such thing. For the record, state your name and the person you wish to see,” she said. She had a wicked sword and a compound bow across her back next to a spear.

  “John T. Whiteherst, Acting CO of Explorer #7, to see Prince Richard or his representative,” I said.

  “Now, wasn’t that easy?” said Rodel from a speaker by the gate.

  I saw the girl break into a huge smile and wink. “Got to play by the rules, well, except for Bitch.”

  Rodel said, “Please follow her, your suites await.” Then to the guard, “If three and four are not to their liking, show them seven and eight upstairs.”

  Suite three made the presidential suite at the Waldorf look like the trunk of a car. I toured it once when I was in the city.

  Here the gold was real gold. The Platinum plate was more than likely solid. The marble was breathtaking and felt internally heated. The lighting was all indirect, and voice controlled. So was everything else. Even the stool in the bathroom was hidden on a slide out affair. The master bed was huge and soft. There were three additional beds in rooms right next to it. I saw everyone’s eyes light up and even bulge some.

  “This is suite three. If acceptable it will go to,” she put her hand to her ear, “Sylvia Collins and John T. Whiteherst.”

  Sylvia was crushing my hand. “Totally acceptable,” I said.

  “Very well. There is a connecting door to suite four if you wish to transfer privately.

  “If you need anything just ask for Rodel and he will assist if he can. He will also handle itinerary, scheduling, and required notifications. Enjoy.” She turned smartly and said to Mary, “If you two would be so kind as to follow me next door?”

  They departed.

  Sylvia ran and bounced on the bed. “My god, you believe this place? It is so, so—”

  “Beautiful?” I asked.

  “No, that so cheapens it—stunning,” she said. She got up and jumped into my arms.

  “If I may intrude?” Rodel said from several speakers.

  “Yes, of course,” I said.

  “The gorgeous young woman with you will be picked up in one hour and fifteen minutes for fixing as per Chief’s orders. She will be returned in two hours and about thirty minutes. If you need sex, she might want to do it now, as she will be sore for at least a day. If you wish, instead, a courtesan can be brought in under special rules. The choice is yours of course” I started to say something but he finished with, “Lady Sylvia.”

  She looked at me with a start, then a big smile. “If I refuse both?”

  “Then the courtesan will be his choice. We currently have 1123 registered in the city, umm, 146 are not under contract. All photos and specialties are listed on the house computer. We do not allow vindictive or rude behavior that might lead to some violent altercation.”

  “He will require no help, thank you Rodel. Notify me in time to shower please?” She said.

  “Yes my lady.” The speaker sort of clicked; he was gone.

  “Most interesting, don’t you think?” she asked, and stood there.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Do I need to do all the work?” She smiled.

  I picked her up and placed her in the bed.

  “We only have an hour,” she whispered in my ear.

  The hour slipped by in a few seconds at most. She hopped out of bed and ran to the shower. “Like college, remember?” she asked.

  We were late for our first class more than once. “Fondly!” I said.

  I heard her laugh. I joined her for a hot shower. It felt wonderful too. She was out and drying off. I took a comb and combed her hair while she did her teeth.

  “I really loved you doing that. It was why I left, I couldn’t stand it anymore.” She kind of cooed, I think.

&
nbsp; Rodel said, “Five minutes.”

  “I thought you were going to tell me in time for a shower?” Sylvia said.

  “I watched—no problem with time,” he said.

  “You watched?” she asked.

  “Sure, recorded the whole thing. You can watch it tonight on pay per view. I think I can get, oh all three hundred sixty thousand inhabitants to watch the mysterious mating habits of the off worlders, don’t you?” He snickered. “Bad joke. I must watch all in the castle, it is required for security. However, I erase the data every thirty seconds unless something happens that requires it to be saved. I am the only one with access to the private bedchambers. Not even the hag can do that. Does it embarrass you? I saw on your computer the recordings of many of your matings,” he said.

  “No, not really. Hard to remember you are a computer sometimes,” I said.

  “You’ll forget I am here. I tell nothing,” he said.

  “The escort for Lady Sylvia is at the door.” She went to the portal as I got up from the chair. Two young ladies in white doctor outfits were there. She waved bye and the door closed. I found myself pacing.

  “Relax, Sir, she will be fine.”

  Camelot History 101

  I sat on the couch in the living room. “Have you any history or videos from here?” I asked.

  “Sure, Jake and his generals recorded much; where would you like to start?” Rodel asked.

  “These evil Koteck I hear about. Got anything on them?”

  “King Jake’s encounter in the field where Queen Queastra died is his second sighting of them. Shall I play it? It is from his Plume camera.”

  “That will be fine,” I said.

  He ran it. I saw a blur. I saw a beautiful black girl with long white hair run into a field full of beautiful bronze men and die in a hail of arrows. I saw a tortured girl on a cross, and heard her death-curdling screams. I had seen horror films that were worse, but for some reason my eyes welled up.

  “That was Jake’s second meeting with the Koteck.”

  “What happened after that?” I asked.

  “Jake became upset. He and one of his wives and a couple generals and a few escorts slaughtered all but a few who got away. Sixty against three hundred fifty of them. I think you will understand better than some, having experienced combat first hand.”