California, the home of Disneyland. How absurd had I been to think I could be happy being “best friends” with him, especially after all the first time sexual experiences we’d had.
I remembered sitting at my bedroom window and waiting while I’d stared out at the street as if that would make Carter magically appear like a rabbit did in a magician’s hat. He should be back by now, I’d thought. But I wasn’t his fucking keeper. He’d been away for a week at a track meet, and I was sure my mum thought I was acting like a lost puppy. It was as if I couldn’t function or do anything without Carter here.
“Your friend will be back soon,” my mum said, patting my head deprecatingly. The way she’d emphasized the word “friend” made it seem like she knew something I hadn’t even fully admitted to myself. It would pop into my head that I’d wanted to be more than friends with Carter, but I couldn’t risk our friendship, could I? Risk telling him that I had feelings for him and have him run a million miles the other way? So we stayed best friends. Best not to rock the boat. That’s what I’d continuously told myself.
Best friends was an amazing feeling. We knew everything about each other: favourite food, pet peeves, likes and dislikes. Who could’ve asked for anything more? Before my brain went down that road, I looked out into the overcast sky and heard some crunching on the gravel across the street.
As soon as Carter had pulled up his driveway, I ran downstairs and out to the road to meet him. I hugged him. “You jerk, I thought you’d be back this morning.”
He raised his hands over his head as if he was a boxer who had just won the last round, and the grin on his face was huge. “I’m sorry. I did too. But guess what? A scout was at the track meet. They want me. Can you believe it? St. Fallon’s University in California wants me. They’re going to offer me a full-ride scholarship. Can you believe it?”
He momentarily frowned as if dark clouds had passed over his face, but then his beautiful smile returned, recovering so quickly that he probably thought I hadn’t noticed.
“I know, I know we promised each other we’d stay here for school together after graduation, but you know my parents don’t have tons of money. A scholarship.” He nudged me and smiled that smile I’d started to find irresistible. “We have the rest of this year together.”
While we both hadn’t really been sure about what we wanted to do for a career, we agreed that either we’d both go to school close by or if farther away, schools in the same area so we could move in together and be roommates. Now that had all changed.
But I wasn’t an asshole. I was genuinely pleased for his happiness. Well, like ninety-ten. I hugged him so hard and didn’t want to let go. “That’s fantastic,” I mumbled into his neck and tried to hold back my sobs. A mixture of happiness and sadness had enveloped me.
Carter pulled back from me first. “Okay, go get changed and we’ll go for a jog and then play frisbee at the park?” he questioned. “If you want to?” He looked terrified, as if I wouldn’t want anything to do with him now that he was leaving after school.
His lip wobbled and I punched him lightly. “Of course. Let me go get ready.”
For the rest of the year, we never really mentioned the fact that he’d be leaving. We hung out and played frisbee and video games. I’d gotten the impression my parents didn’t like Carter much, so sometimes he did an a la Dawson from Dawson’s Creek and snuck into my room with a ladder that we’d kept hidden at the side of the house. He’d sleep over and we’d munch on sweets.
One night Carter had come through the window with one of our favourite take away dishes. I could smell the fish and chips from the local chippy a mile away. He started to open them on my bed when I’d heard a creak outside my bedroom door. Without thinking, I shoved Carter and the food into my closet and then peeked out the door. I could’ve sworn I heard his stomach growl, so I faked a coughing fit.
“Hey, Mum. Uh, what’s up?”
“I thought I heard noises. You don’t have a girl in there, do you?”
“No,” I replied.
“Okay, well, I hope it’s not that boy from across the road. You spend far too much time with him. What do you even talk about?” A vein had popped in her forehead, which was a sign she was angry, so I did the only thing I could do.
“Back to studying,” I told her, then closed the door to my room and locked it.
“She doesn’t like me, does she?” Carter asked, as he ducked to get out of the closet.
“Hmm, I guess not exactly,” I said while we sat cross-legged on the bed and I pulled the food out before it had gotten cold. “But I don’t care because I like you.” I looked in the bag. “No spring rolls?”
He went back in the closet and reappeared with another bag. “Oh, how could I forget these, your favourite,” he said, trying to look innocent. He handed them to me and ruffled my hair.
After we’d eaten, we whispered and talked into the night. This was our usual way, conversing about everything and nothing. It was perfect.
“Your turn to pick what we watch,” I said, knowing what he’d choose. “And not—”
“No, you can’t place any limitations on me if it’s my pick.”
“Cool Runnings,” I said in unison with him, mocking him.
“Hey”—he batted me playfully—“it’s good. John Candy is a legend.”
“Yeah, sure, but how many times can you watch it over and over?”
“Just put it on, Mr. Funny Guy.” I placed the movie in the DVD player and sat back close to him on my bed. When I glanced over and saw him so happy at this little gesture, it made me smile.
A majority of my time had been spent worrying over the thought that I might have fallen in love with Carter or, if it wasn’t love, how I wanted to explore more with him. Sitting so close beside him while we binge watched the movie, and being able to smell him, I felt my cock harden and had to pull a cushion over my lap to cover myself.
When the team arrived in Calgary in the movie, I asked him, “Where would be your dream vacation spot?”
Carter stretched out his long legs and made himself more comfortable. “Disneyland.” His voice had taken on a dreamy effect, and when I glanced over, his eyes were closed. “Maybe it sounds silly, or I’m too old, but I imagine us there. We’d goof off, run around, and enjoy all the rides. Just be happy together.”
I did a double take and looked over at him. Had he meant as friends, or more? I wondered. I stayed still and continued to listen, not saying anything.
“It always looks so magical and it seems like the kind of place to go with someone special.” When he opened his eyes, they took on a deer-in-the-headlights look, as if he hadn’t realized he’d spoken dreamily out loud.
Carter jumped up and barely looked my way, then mumbled that he’d better get home before he got caught. I watched him leave and hadn’t called out or made him stay.
There was too much at stake: I loved being his friend, and he was leaving soon. There was no point in stirring the pot. The thought had also crossed my mind that what if I said something and he didn’t reciprocate. So … No, definitely not.
I tiptoed downstairs, making sure not to let my foot descend on the one creaky step that my dad always said was on his list to fix, and threw out the garbage from our impromptu meal.
One day after school, a few weeks later, I went to meet Carter and saw him chatting to a couple of girls. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I took a moment to admire him: how tall he was and how the plaid shirt he wore fit him just so. He even managed to wear a backpack with style. He was like honey to Pooh bear with those girls. They were all over him. I wasn’t sure how much I liked it either lately. Jealously was a very evil thing, so I worried for myself.
I sauntered over and tried to act interested, hoping we’d be able to leave alone soon after.
“Jamieson, my man. Skylar and Holly here don’t have dates for the prom yet. What do you say? We can go with them, as a group of friends.” I couldn’t believe he’d put me on t
he spot like that, but really, what did I care? I’d get to go with him, so that worked.
Skylar’s face fell but I didn’t think Carter had noticed. She obviously wasn’t impressed with his last comment about “friends” but it worked for me.
I glanced at the girls and had a sickening feeling deep down in my gut. Well, everyone knew you only took friends to prom right. I had to hold on to that because otherwise, I would have run away and, in the process, probably never see him again. “Yes, that sounds great.”
It was a couple of months before the end of school and I’d been at my desk in my room, trying to cram for my GCSEs. I didn’t fully know what I wanted to do yet, but getting good grades would help when I did decide.
Carter came over to join me. “How’s it going? Can you help me for the math test? I’m really worried I’m going to fail.”
“Okay, I guess. It’s been a long day. Bring out your book then, I was just working on it too.” The night had gone by quickly and I tried not to think about my feelings, about the impending separation when Carter would leave for America.
I tapped my pencil on the current math problem then pushed my hands through my hair. Would it ever be the same? Not doing homework together or getting to go out. A shiver went down my spine.
“Can I ask you something, Jamieson?” The tone of his voice was one I’d never heard before.
I held my breath, not sure where this was going. “Of course. Always. Anything. What’s up?” I asked, secretly anxious but curious too.
He didn’t look at me as he started talking. “Do you think, I mean, have you thought about why I … we don’t have any girlfriends? Ah, I don’t have anyone in mind, but maybe you do. If you want, if you think we spend too much time together, you can go out and get one. I, uh … I don’t want one, but maybe I’m monopolizing your time.” He cleared his throat and then got up to put his books back in his bag.
An awkward silence had descended over us. What was going on? I wondered. I didn’t really know at all. “Uh, your math? I didn’t even show you anything.”
It was never awkward between us. Until now. Was he saying he wanted to be rid of me, or that he didn’t want a female at all?
Being the coward that I was, I was too scared, too petrified to actually start discussing it in case I lost him forever, but maybe he could. So I grabbed his arm before he could leave. “Carter, what are you saying?” I looked directly into his eyes, trying to decipher his thoughts. Usually it worked.
He licked his lips and stepped towards me, and then away. That had been the moment. All or nothing. I stepped towards Carter, placed my lips on his, then licked the seam of his mouth. There had been no movement and that worried me. What had possessed me? Then he opened his mouth and kissed me back. It was slow and awkward, a bit sloppy even, and yet it felt better than anything had in a long time. I’d spilled all my emotions into that kiss.
In that moment, I put my hands on Carter’s face and noticed his pupils were dilated. Then we kissed again, and his tongue darted out, exploring. I had never felt anything like this but knew I didn’t want it to stop as I moved my hand up to massage his neck.
Carter did something I’d never expected and pulled me in to him. Against my thigh, I felt his hard cock. I stopped and drew back a little, hardly believing what I was feeling.
When he looked down at me, his pupils returned to normal. They’d been replaced with a scared look I’d rarely, if ever, seen from him. “What? … Did I do something wrong? Do you not want …” He was almost crying and couldn’t finish the sentence.
“I do. Do I ever. I’ve, ah … I just didn’t know you wanted this too.” He didn’t look convinced, so I raised up on my tiptoes and kissed him hard, pouring all I could into it.
We’d continued to kiss for a while then I let out a happy sigh. Carter hugged me and I didn’t want him to let go.
For the last few weeks of school, we had explored each other in wonderful bliss whenever we were alone. We kept it to ourselves, without really discussing it. I wanted it to be just for us, and Carter still acted the same with his buddies or when he stayed over for dinner.
It came to prom night and we still went with the girls—as friends. When Carter came over dressed up in a spectacular suit, my jaw dropped. I’d invited him a couple of hours before the girls. “So handsome, Carter. You look perfect. Here,” I said, handing him a box and quickly turning away to finish getting dressed.
He opened it and I heard a gasp. Not facing him, I couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad sound. “Jamie …” He put the chain with the Disney castle around his neck and came up behind me. “It’s beautiful. I’ll always keep it close to my heart.” He tucked it under his shirt and gave me a kiss.
“You look so handsome too,” he said. I did a twirl for him in my dark denim jeans and tight button-down shirt. Then he took a big sigh.
“What is it?” I asked, suddenly worried. “I know it isn’t ideal to go with the girls, but they know we’re just going as friends. I know I can’t hold your hand or anything, but it’s better than nothing.”
“I know, baby.” Carter pulled me in close and hugged me tight. “My friend booked a hotel in the city for later, if you … if you want to stay with me after prom?” he asked. Looking into his stunning hazel eyes, I saw a myriad of emotions.
I’m sure he saw them reflected in my own eyes. “Yes, of course. But, uh, the parents …”
“We’ll just tell them later that we can’t get back from town so we’re staying at a friend’s house. Okay?”
I had no idea how the night would go, but I knew I wanted to spend it with Carter.
A moment later, there was a knock on my door and my mum opened it. “Girls are here. You two look handsome. Let me get some photos before you leave?”
“Sure, Mum.” I’d glanced at Carter and quickly touched his hand as he followed me down the stairs.
We greeted the girls and went out to the driveway. My mum took some photos of all four of us, then the separate couples. I had tried to scoot in beside Carter, so we’d be next to each other for at least one photo.
The prom wasn’t really anything special. Mainly, dancing in groups and sitting at the sidelines. When it had finally been time to go, Carter and I walked to the hotel. We weren’t really old enough, but because his friend had booked it and paid for it, and had already given him the room key, I knew we’d be okay. Maybe not completely legit, but I never questioned it.
Carter had brought supplies. “I’ve watched, ah, some videos, so …”
“Show me then, everything you know.” It turned out that watching and doing were two completely different things.
We fumbled and it was awkward, but it had also felt so good—so right. Seeing Carter’s body in all its glory for the first time had been special.
The rest of the summer, we’d spent as much time as we could together. Going on camping trips together for a couple of nights was one of the things we’d liked best to do. Even though the dark cloud of Carter’s departure had hung over us, we didn’t let it deter us.
One night under the stars, we’d made s’mores by the campfire and then got washed up at the loch. It was a remote spot and the night had been a bit chilly.
Carter had insisted we skinny dip. I wasn’t entirely keen on the idea, but after witnessing his bare skin looking almost copper in the moonlight, I was sold.
Afterwards, we’d dried off and Carter pulled me in close. A shiver went down my spine as he wrapped a blanket around me. Then, he bent down and took my hard cock in his mouth. I let out a gasp as I felt his thumb move around to my ass. Inserting it elicited a groan from me that echoed through the night. I carded my hands through his still-damp hair and he moved forward and back on my cock as I looked down, watching. He peeked up at me from under his eyelids and then sucked just the tip before moving off of me. Pulling me with him, we went back into our tent. It was small but it would do.
“On your knees, now,” he gasped out, his voice raspy.
The noise that left my mouth astonished even me.
“Like that, do you?” I heard him say from behind me. “Just wait.” And his tongue darted in.
“Oh my god … Oh my god. What?” I chanted. Pre-come dripped onto our sleeping bag, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“Jamie, we don’t have to be quiet here. We’re out in the wilderness.”
Instinctively, I gasped.
“No, there are no wolves or bears or anything. So”—he leaned down to kiss me—“you can be loud.” He chuckled. “Loud and proud.”
Biting my lip, I waited in anxious anticipation.
He slapped my ass and stroked a finger down my back. “You are so delectable. I love … love our time together.” He let out a strangled sound I had no time to analyze.
I heard the rip of the condom and the click of the lube bottle, and then Carter began to enter me. I adjusted to him as he moved slowly, pushing in and pulling fully out. He grasped my hips and I arched my ass higher.
“Please, Carter, I need …” I moved my knees and bent to a better angle, giving him easier access.
“I know what you need. I know.” Soon, we’d gotten a rhythm going and I let out a moan.
The sounds from Carter as well echoed above me. We were in our cocoon and it felt wonderful. “Yes, oh fuck, yes …”
Then he adjusted his position and hit that special spot. Carter’s whole body leaned over me as I squeezed around him until mine gave way as I came. Panting and moaning, I relished the feeling of his body draped over me. It was as if I were flying with Carter holding me up.
He pumped into me one more time and then eased back, letting out short moans. And that magical moment when he poured into the condom inside me had felt like heaven.
Eventually Carter removed the condom and turned to his side, leaning on his arm. “I could stay like this forever.”
Carter (Mayfair Model Series Book 2) Page 2