The Paradox

by Lola StVil

  Oh, it’s so on.

  I advance toward Rye, my sword held out in front of me. I get closer to Rye and I begin to circle him, waiting for a moment to strike. I swipe out with the sword, and he ducks beneath my shot and kicks my feet out from beneath me. I land on the padded ground with an oomph.

  “You have to be faster than that,” Rye taunts me.

  He offers me his hand and I ignore it, pushing myself up and springing at him. He’s ready for it and he nimbly sidesteps. I go sprawling to my knees. My face is burning in anger and humiliation.

  I push myself up, hot tears burning my eyes.

  “Are you hurt?” Rye asks, the taunting sneer gone, replaced with a look of genuine concern that makes my heart ache.

  I shake my head.

  “No. But you’re supposed to be training me, not humiliating me,” I snap.

  I can feel my cheeks burning. Rye smiles, his normal smile.

  “You don’t get it, Sailor. I’m not here to show you the ABCs of fighting. You’re the Paradox. Everything you need to know is inside you. I’m here to unlock it, that’s all.”

  “But I don’t even know where to start.”

  “Sailor, you took on a Slip Demon before you even knew any of this existed,” Rye points out.

  “That was different. Maya’s life was in danger and I just acted out of instinct like anyone would.”

  “Like anyone would? Most people would have run a mile at the sight of that thing.” Rye laughs. “Just relax and let it come.”

  I nod and take a few calming breaths. I close my eyes and then I snap them open again. Rye and I circle each other. I don’t make the mistake of rushing in this time, although his sneer is back. He keeps making a move toward me and then pulling away, trying to taunt me into reacting too quickly. I’m not going to take the bait. Instead, I wait patiently for him to make a mistake.

  When it’s clear he’s not going to make a mistake, I begin to think of a different tactic. I copy him, moving in close and pulling away, keeping him on his guard. I take my chance and run toward him, a war cry on my lips. I’m ready for him to sidestep, and when he does, I spring to the side as well. I bring up the sword as I spring toward Rye. I’ve got this. His side is exposed and I can take him.

  Before my sword connects, my foot slips out from beneath me and I find myself flying through the air toward Rye. My sword falls to the ground with a loud clatter and I connect with Rye bodily. He stumbles backwards, caught wrong-footed as he tries to break my fall.

  We both fall to the mat. I can’t stop myself from laughing at the clumsiness of it all. The laugh dies in my throat when I realize I am top of Rye, my lips only inches from his. I swallow hard, looking down into his eyes. His hands are on my waist, his eyes inviting me closer. I’m moving my head toward his when the door of the training room slams open and the moment is broken.

  I jump to my feet and clear my throat awkwardly. Rye gets up and stands beside me. I remember his unguarded rib cage.

  “If I hadn’t slipped, I would have had you,” I say.

  “Dream on, Wonder Woman.” He grins.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” Jinx says from the doorway.

  “Rye? Your date is here.”

  Jinx leaves before either of us can respond. I feel as though my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

  Rye has a date?

  It all makes sense now. That’s why he’s been telling me we can’t be together because of some godly rule. It’s really because he doesn’t feel that way about me and he’s letting me down gently. I wish he could have just been honest with me.

  Something else clicks into place and some of the pain is replaced by anger. I turn to Rye, anger flashing across my face.

  “Seriously, Rye? You’re putting off the search for the dagger because you have a damn date?” I demand.

  “What? No,” he says quickly. “I’m putting off the search for the dagger so you have at least two training sessions before we throw you into the path of danger. It’s not even close to enough, but it’s better than nothing.”

  “Bullshit,” I say, although I have to admit he sounds like he’s telling the truth.

  And his explanation is perfectly logical. It’s my reaction to it that’s illogical. He made it quite clear nothing can ever happen between us, yet I guess I clung to the hope that somehow, he would change his mind. Him having a date is the final proof that he’s just not that into me.

  The pain in my heart is back. It slams in my chest, making each breath feel like hard work. My stomach knots up tightly. I try my best to hide it, but I can see the way Rye is looking at me. He’s giving me that look of concern.

  False concern?

  No, maybe not. I don’t think he specifically wants to hurt me. He’s just getting on with his life. This is my issue, not his.

  “Look, it’s not like it’s a date date,” Rye says. “It’s just a movie or something. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  I try to think of some witty comeback, but nothing comes to mind and I stand there staring at Rye like an idiot, knowing the hurt is written all over my face and not able to pull it back. It doesn’t help that his voice is kind, gentle. It sounds almost like this is hurting him too. Maybe I was wrong about him lying to me. Maybe this whole curse thing is real and he does like me. The curse has to be real. The rest of the team wouldn’t have reacted so ominously to the idea of Rye and I being together if there was no curse.

  “Sailor, listen to me. Only bad things can happen if we get together, you know that. And this way it shows them nothing is happening between us.”

  “So, you’re taking one for the team? Going on a date to save us both. Yeah that sounds like a true sacrifice, Rye. You’re a regular hero.”

  He sighs.

  “I’m just trying to look out for you,” he says.

  His tone is soft and his eyes beg me to understand, but I don’t understand. It’s obvious he feels something for me. And yeah, I get that death is too high a price to pay for a kiss or two, but there has to be a way. And he’s not even willing to look for it. I don’t understand how he can look at me that way, how just moments ago we were so close to kissing, and then I find out he’s about to go off on a date with some other girl.

  “I can look out for myself,” I snap.

  “Really? Because from what I saw back there, you aren’t even close to being able to look out for yourself,” Rye says with a smirk.

  If he thinks he can worm his way out of this thing by teasing me, then he really doesn’t know me at all. His grin fades and he reaches out to stroke my face. I bat his hand away angrily and back up a few steps.

  “Are you serious?” I demand, shaking my head. “I’m not your little lapdog, Rye. I won’t sit here waiting around for you while you’re off with some skank.”

  “I didn’t make the rules, Sailor,” he says gently.

  “I know that. But maybe you’re a little too good at following them,” I say.

  I turn and walk away from him. I’ve heard enough. If he comes after me, I’m going to lose my shit. But at the same time, I want nothing more than for him to come after me. I want him to take me into his arms and tell me he’s sorry and that we’ll find a way.

  He doesn’t. I walk back to the cabin alone, although I can feel Rye’s eyes on me the whole way. He doesn’t want me dead. That would screw up the mission. I refuse to turn back and give him the satisfaction of thinking I wanted one last look at him.

  I go back to the game room to grab my stuff, already forcing my face to look neutral. I’m in luck for once. I don’t run into any of the team, and while I feel bad for running out on them without a goodbye, I don’t have it in me to seek any of them out. I can’t bear the idea of the smug look on Aziza’s face, the taunting from Jinx, or worse, the pity from any of the others.

  I slip out into the woods and head home. I let my heart take over for a moment back there, and that was a mistake. I see that now. I have to focus only on the mission and forget about any notion
of Rye and I being together. He seems to have shut me out without any trouble, and now I will do him the same courtesy.

  I nod my head forcefully, confirming my decision.

  I get home and step inside. Music is blasting from the dining room and I go through to see my dad spinning around in the middle of the room. Is he dancing? My God, I think he is. It’s so bad it’s hard to tell, but he looks happy. Happier than I’ve seen him in a long time, and I can’t help but smile at the sight of him.

  I move to the sound system and turn the music down a touch.

  “Umm Dad? What’s going on?” I ask.

  “Biscuit, where did you come from?” He smiles.

  He grabs my hand and spins me. I let myself be pulled into the moment and I find myself laughing. I dance with my dad for a moment, Loki running around us in a circle, barking excitedly. Even he knows this is out of the ordinary. I hold up my hands in surrender after a full song, still laughing.

  “Okay, okay, enough.” I laugh. “What’s gotten into you?”

  “I’ve only gone and had the best date of my life.” He grins.

  I feel a pang of sadness in my heart. Better than his dates with my mom? I force myself to keep smiling. I have to let go of the past and be happy for Dad. It’s actually good to see him like this again, full of life.

  “Tell me more,” I say.

  He sits down at the dining table and beckons for me to join him. I sit down opposite him, trying not to laugh at the goofy grin on his face.

  “Raven and I went to this little restaurant she knows. It was perfect. The food, the wine, but most of all, the conversation. You know when you meet someone and you just click with them on every level, and you instinctively know you were meant to be with them? That’s how it was. We talked and talked about everything. We have so much in common.”

  “That’s great news, Dad,” I say. “I’m really happy for you. It’s good to see you so…”

  I trail off.

  “Alive?” he finishes for me.

  I nod and smile.

  “Yeah. Alive,” I say.

  “It feels good, Sailor. It’s like waking up from a nightmare and finding the fog has lifted and the sun is shining.”

  I laugh. “Okay, you’re starting to sound like a cheesy love song. I think I’ve heard enough. I’m calling it an early night. Night, Dad.”

  I stand up and smile down at my dad’s happy face.

  “Really though. I am happy for you,” I add as I head for the stairs.

  “Sailor?” he asks, stopping me as I reach the bottom of the stairs. I pause and look back at him.

  “Are you happy here?”

  “Yeah. Very happy,” I say.

  “Good. Goodnight, Biscuit,” he says.

  I go up the stairs, Loki following on my heels, a mixed bag of emotions. I am happy for my dad, really, I am. It’s good to see him moving on with his life, looking like he’s actually happy instead of faking a smile for my benefit. I realize it’s been so long since I genuinely saw him happy that I almost forgot what it looked like. How bad is that?

  On the other hand, the weight on my heart is heavy and I find myself wishing I could have what my dad has found with Raven. I could have it. Rye and I could have it all. But he’s off with some other girl and I’m home alone.

  Oh my God. Am I jealous of my own dad? I have to snap out of it. It’s just way too tragic.

  I push open the door to my room and a small scream leaves my lips when I see a figure sitting on my bed.

  I relax a little when I see it’s Grace.

  “Christ, Grace, give me a heart attack why don’t you?” I say. “What are you doing here? How did you even get in?”

  “I made a portal here,” Grace says.

  Obviously.

  “I thought you might need cheering up,” she says.

  “I’m fine,” I reply automatically.

  “Good.” She smiles. “Mel and Sunday wanted to come and talk about the whole Rye thing, but I figured that would just be depressing. I had a better idea, but if you’re sure you’re fine and don’t need me…”

  She trails off, a wicked glint in her eye, and I find myself laughing.

  “Oh no way. You can’t do that and not tell me,” I say.

  “How about I show you?” Grace says. She stands up, giggling, and grabs my hand. “Come on.”

  She waves her other hand and a shimmering portal appears in front of us. She steps through, taking me with her. I don’t have time to protest, and to be honest, I don’t think I would have. Rye can go out and have his fun, and guess what? So can I.

  “Umm Grace? Where the hell are we?” I ask as I look around.

  The room we’ve stepped out into is dimly lit and busy. It’s clearly some sort of dive bar, but it’s like something out of a fairy tale. Or a horror movie. A man with horns on his forehead stands talking to a woman with a split down the center of her tongue and pure black eyes. I swear the group of guys relaxing in a corner are vampires. I can see their fangs. Patches of shimmery air and balls of colored light float in various places among the group of misfits.

  I realize Grace has walked away from me and I rush to catch up with her. I pass a table where a group of girls who look no older than eight years old are downing shots. They laugh and join hands around the table, and then they begin to chant, and before my eyes, they start to age until they all look to be in their mid-thirties.

  Grace winds her way through the crowd, saying the odd hello here and there. One of the vampires sidles over to us. He holds out his hand to me, and not knowing what else to do, I shake it.

  “It is a pleasure to meet such a beautiful creature,” he says, his voice low and husky. “What brings a lovely girl like you to a place like this?”

  He’s hot in a dark and brooding sort of way and I feel myself blushing as he describes me as beautiful. Before I can respond, Grace good-naturedly pushes him away.

  “Get out of here, Ethan. She’s off-limits.”

  He holds his hands up and smiles, his eyes fixed on mine even as he backs away.

  “Just saying hello,” he says.

  Grace reaches the bar and asks for two beers. I’m certain the bartender will just laugh at her. I mean, we’re clearly nothing like twenty-one, but he just nods and gives her two bottles. She hands over some cash and takes my hand again. She pulls me to a table to the side of the bar. It’s quieter here. We sit down across from each other at the small table.

  “Seriously, Grace. What is this place?” I ask again.

  “Welcome to the Outsider. Prague’s most famous unknown bar,” she says.

  I blink at her in confusion.

  “We’re in Prague?”

  She nods.

  “Yup. This place is for supernatural creatures of all types,” she says. “Hence the famous but unknown thing. It’s not visible to mortals unless they’re with an immortal creature. And the only way in is through a portal or an enchantment.”

  “It’s cool,” I say, looking around again.

  I take a sip of the beer and frown.

  “It doesn’t taste like beer,” I say. “It tastes like strawberries and vanilla.”

  “It tastes like whatever taste you most want in the moment.” Grace grins. “I once had a bottle that tasted like bacon. It shouldn’t have worked, but it kind of did.”

  “So, I hate to break up the party and all, but won’t half of these creatures want to kill me?” I ask.

  Grace shakes her head.

  “No. There are some supernatural creatures that want nothing more than the end of humanity. But there are a lot that don’t. For some, it’s in their own interests to protect humanity. The vampires for example: no humans, no food source for them. For others, like the fairy folk, it’s in their nature to protect those who need it.”

  She nods at the couple with the horns and the forked tongue. I feel myself blush.

  “I thought they were demons,” I admit.

  She laughs.

  “An easy m
istake to make. Fae come in lots of different guises. Anyway, we didn’t come here for a history of the supernatural lesson. That’s Sunday’s realm. Just know that not everyone different is the enemy. The folks who hang out here are most definitely on our side. In fact, it was here that I got the lead on the abandoned bus shelter.”

  “So, they’re your friends?” I ask.

  “Some are.” Grace shrugs. “Listen, Sailor, it’s as safe here as anywhere in Whisper. Maybe safer. But Rye wouldn’t see it that way. He’d kill me if he knew I brought you here, so do me a favor and keep this between us, okay?”

  “Sure,” I say. “But I really don’t think Rye would care one way or the other.”

  Graces throws her head back and laughs.

  “You really don’t get that he’s into you, do you?” she says, shaking her head.

  Why is everyone so sure of that?

  I smile, suddenly remembering something.

  “You know, when I first met you guys, I thought you and Rye were a thing,” I say.

  “You did?” Grace laughs. “God no. Don’t get me wrong, I love Rye, but he’s like an older brother to me. What made you think that?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrug. “Just the way he said your name I guess.”

  “Nothing like the way he says yours,” Grace says. “I know it’s hard, but try to cut him a bit of slack. You think he’s not into you, but trust me when I tell you he’s so into you it’s kind of funny to watch.”

  I give her a look and then I shake my head.

  “He’s out with another girl, Grace. What am I supposed to think?”

  “He’s out with Felicity Lake. She’s been into him for years and he’s never given her the time of day. This is his way of showing the world that there’s nothing between you. In his own twisted way, he’s trying to protect you, Sails.”

  Felicity Lake. The name rings a bell and I wrack my brain until it comes to me. She’s that prom queen mean girl from school. Great.

  “I’d much rather he just be honest with me,” I sigh. “I don’t know which way is up when I’m with him, and he blows hot and cold like a broken fridge.”