Viewmaster

1 human day = 7 dog days = 14 tourist days. This is the philosophy that undergirds the comic novel 'Viewmaster'. Roy, recovering alcoholic & proprietor of Golden Rules B & B in San Francisco, is shaken & stirred by a mix of tourists, dogs & even a human being or two that will break your balls & your heart. If life were a cocktail his would be the love child of Molotov & Shirley Temple.The character-driven comic novel Viewmaster is a chick flick with balls and a twelve-step program that takes the elevator. Roy, recovering alcoholic and proprietor of Golden Rules Bed and Breakfast in San Francisco, lets the world into his home with a hospitality that resembles speed-dating and spends all his free time doing battle with his house, a former brothel that lists to the side like the inebriated prostitutes that used to ply it. He is assisted by his cohort, Tipton, the gaily Republican travel agent with several multiple-personality disorders and a pet-sitting business with a working title that pees on your carpet – “Pooch Smooch”.The arrival of Celestine, a guest with a secret who puts the ‘sex’ back in sexagenarian, unleashes the passions of Roy and Porky, infectiously good-natured Filipino-American neighbor and price gouging plumber. Porky abandons San Francisco and his wife to follow Celestine. Roy, with his growing love for Porky’s difficult daughter Maria, sets out to bring him back. When Roy’s romance with Maria and his pursuit of Porky go seriously off track, he turns to guest Maxine, born-again Southern Baptist (“I’m a titanium magnolia, tougher than steel”), endearing cliché and something of a savior herself. She gives Roy a choice: Jesus or Jack Daniels? Roy contemplates a third way.