Why watch TV when you can read the first seven episodes of The Klumps Mysteries, Season One?The Klumps Mysteries centers on a bumbling small town police force, led by inebriated, over educated, but not too smart Commissioner Don Mettler-Klump. They like to eat. They like to sleep. Sometimes their guns fire for no apparent reason. And every once in a while they find a crime that needs solving.Why watch TV when you can read the first seven episodes of The Klumps Mysteries, Season One?The Klumps Mysteries centers on a bumbling small town police force, led by inebriated, over educated, but not too smart Commissioner Don Mettler-Klump. They like to eat. They like to sleep. Sometimes their guns fire for no apparent reason. And every once in a while they find a crime that needs solving. They're the Klumps! Murder, theft, missing pets, food poisoning. It's all in a day's work.Episode One – “Murder at the Diner”When a body is found behind a diner, inexperienced and hard drinking Police Commissioner Don Klump has his first murder case. He and his team explore the treacherous underbelly of the town.Is it the dog walker? The victim's girlfriend? Or someone even closer to him?Episode Two – “The Painting”When a painting disappears from a local museum, an inebriated Don Klump makes finding it a department priority. The investigation takes an ominous turn when someone kills the curator.Who stole the painting? Why? The Klumps brave the seedy world of art to find out.Episode Three – “The Mole”A suspect is murdered and evidence goes missing. A cop car is damaged. Worst of all, the Klumps suspect one of their own is responsible.Is it the forensics assistant? The reporter who is hellbent on bringing down the department? And who is the mysterious woman pulling the strings?Episode Four – “The Warehouse”Deputy Commissioner Libby Klump makes a gruesome discovery while looking for a lost pet. Meanwhile, Don Klump and the rest of the police department hunt for a killer nurse after the Medical Examiner discovers that poison played a role in a disgraced officer's death. They continue investigating the mole. Don and Libby can't help thinking that these and their prior cases are related.Episode Five – “Counting the Bodies”The warehouse investigation continues.With the crime rate rising faster than gas prices, the Klumps face off with the Town Council about the police budget. Deputy Chalmers must brave Methton alone while ghost-fearing Tom is put in charge of exhuming the body of a suspected murder victim.Meanwhile, time runs short for two small girls.What can possibly go wrong?Episode Six – “Travis and Chester”The warehouse investigation hits a snag when the detectives discover the Medical Examiner might be involved.In the meantime, Don Klump and his team race to find Travis Quinton, prime suspect in two murders and child kidnapping.Episode Seven – “Follow the Scent”Libby takes charge of the police department as evidence is destroyed. Her husband and Commissioner is missing and may have been abducted, unless he's lying drunk in a ditch somewhere or with another woman. He better not be.Deputies Lucus and Tom close in on the Ice Queen when they discover the identity of her right hand man.Episode Eight – “Revelations” COMING January 21, 2014The final episode of Season One. Many loose ends are tied, while some are inadvertently (or on purpose???) unraveled. Meh, whatchyou gonna do?Libby Klump faces off with the Town Council while an assassin lies in wait.The police department scrambles to find their chief before it's too late.Don Klump has a battle of wits with his captor.Oh dear.