The Extra Ordinary Life of Frank Derrick, Age 81

"Kelly Christmas made Frank feel like getting out of bed in the morning. She was like a replacement hip. His half an Aspirin a day. She was his stair lift and his Zimmer frame, Kelly was his grab rail and his large button telephone. She was his bath hoist. She was his easy to grip scissors, his one touch battery operated jar opener and his long handled shoehorn. Kelly was all the vitamin supplements he needed." Frank Derrick is eighty-one. And he's just been run over by a milk float.It was tough enough to fill the hours of the day when he was active. But now he's broken his arm and fractured his foot, it looks set to be a very long few weeks ahead. Frank lives with his cat Bill (which made more sense before Ben died) in the typically British town of Fullwind-on-Sea. The Villages in Bloom competition is the topic of conversation amongst his neighbours but Frank has no interest in that. He watches DVDs, spends his money frivolously at the local charity shop and desperately tries...