Bubba and the Cosmic Blood-Suckers
by Joe R. Lansdale
Before Bubba Ho-Tep, there was Bubba and the Cosmic Blood-Suckers.Part
of a secret government organization designed to protect civilians,
Elvis Presley and a handful of hardcore warriors set out to save the
world from an invasion of hive-minded, shape-shifting vampire-like
creatures from a dark dimension who have taken up residence in a New
Orleans junkyard. Besides Elvis, among these righteous warriors
is a hammer-wielding descendent of John Henry of railroad fame, a Blind
Man who sees more than those with sight, Jack, a strategic wizard, and
Elvis’s right hand man and journal writer, Johnny, all thrown in with
Raven (real name Jenny) a female recruit who is also a budding pop star,
and like Elvis, high on the charisma chart. Their leader
is none other than Colonel Parker, Elvis’s cutthroat manager, and a
warrior himself, directly in contact with President Nixon, or possibly
one of his doubles.It’s an unnerving peek into a secret
world, and a possible delusion. It’s what happened before Elvis, aka
Sebastian Haff, found himself in an East Texas rest home, mounted on a
walker, fighting an Egyptian mummy and worrying about a growth on his
pecker.Strange monsters, wild fights, sex with a beautiful
ghost, a drug-induced trip into another dimension, and all manner of
mayhem ensue, along with a Mississippi riverboat ride on a giant paddle
wheel, and of course, there will be 3D glasses, fried peanut butter and
’nanna sandwiches, and a few hard working zombies.Bring the kids, but plug their ears and blindfold them. This is one wild and nasty ride to the dark side, but with laughter.
of a secret government organization designed to protect civilians,
Elvis Presley and a handful of hardcore warriors set out to save the
world from an invasion of hive-minded, shape-shifting vampire-like
creatures from a dark dimension who have taken up residence in a New
Orleans junkyard. Besides Elvis, among these righteous warriors
is a hammer-wielding descendent of John Henry of railroad fame, a Blind
Man who sees more than those with sight, Jack, a strategic wizard, and
Elvis’s right hand man and journal writer, Johnny, all thrown in with
Raven (real name Jenny) a female recruit who is also a budding pop star,
and like Elvis, high on the charisma chart. Their leader
is none other than Colonel Parker, Elvis’s cutthroat manager, and a
warrior himself, directly in contact with President Nixon, or possibly
one of his doubles.It’s an unnerving peek into a secret
world, and a possible delusion. It’s what happened before Elvis, aka
Sebastian Haff, found himself in an East Texas rest home, mounted on a
walker, fighting an Egyptian mummy and worrying about a growth on his
pecker.Strange monsters, wild fights, sex with a beautiful
ghost, a drug-induced trip into another dimension, and all manner of
mayhem ensue, along with a Mississippi riverboat ride on a giant paddle
wheel, and of course, there will be 3D glasses, fried peanut butter and
’nanna sandwiches, and a few hard working zombies.Bring the kids, but plug their ears and blindfold them. This is one wild and nasty ride to the dark side, but with laughter.