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Once I was a sane, levelheaded professional woman. Then I said "yes." Now I am the lunatic bride I always made fun of!What is it about getting married that turns normal people into total freaks?A savvy, riotously funny novel, Diary of a Mad Bride is for anyone who has ever been a bride, is about to become a bride, yearned to be a bride, or suffered the sheer indignity of appearing in public in the world's ugliest bridesmaid dress....My wedding was starting in less than twenty minutes, and I was stuck in a 7-Eleven parking lot with popcorn kernels wedged in my gums and vanilla ice cream melting on my dress. It was a disaster too large to comprehend. After an agonizing year spent planning my wedding, could it really end like this? The voices chronicling a year of wedding hysteria swirled in my head....-- My grandmother upon viewing my engagement ring:"What do you mean he gave you an emerald! Diamonds are eternal, emeralds say,...Pages of Diary of a Mad Bride :