Anna's Secret

by Blossom Turner

  His secretary placed the call through as Anna waited and prayed. How did one tell a brother-in-law such news about a daughter?

  His deep voice resonated over the phone. “Hello, Anna, is everything okay?”

  She couldn’t remember the last time she dialed him directly. Little wonder he would ask if everything was okay.

  “Hi, Tom. As a matter of fact, the answer to that question is no. Lorena is with me. She’s fine for the moment, but I’d like you to stop by after work before heading home.”

  “Lorena? I knew that something was wrong, but I haven’t been able to get her to talk,” he admitted. “I’ve noticed huge changes in the past few months, but somehow neither Lana nor I can get through to her.”

  “Come and get her, Tom, she needs you … she needs the both of you. But please pray before you come, and at this point don’t bring Lana. See you then.” She hung up the phone before she had to answer any questions. Lorena’s situation was not something she wanted to discuss over the phone.

  Melody’s soft sounds filtered through on the baby monitor as she woke from sleep. Anna loved the coo and gurgle as her baby awakened. She waited a moment before heading down the hall.

  “Come to mama, sweet pea.” Anna was rewarded with a big smile. She picked up the baby and entered the living room.

  “Wake up, Lorena. I have someone who wants to see you.”

  Lorena rubbed at her eyes and sat up. She held out her arms as Anna brought the tiny child close.

  “Hold her a minute while I grab her diapers.”

  Anna came back to see Lorena smiling down at the infant, gently rocking her back and forth. Melody was wide-eyed and smiling back.

  “Do you need to change her?” Lorena asked.

  “In a moment, but first I have to tell you I called your dad. He’s coming here after work.”

  Lorena sprang to her feet with Melody in her arms. “Take the baby, I’m leaving.” She held Melody out to Anna.

  Anna ignored her tirade. “Sit, Lorena, you’re not going anywhere, and here’s a diaper to change her. You’ll need the practice.”

  A pair of flashing eyes were the only indication Lorena was not happy as she sat back down on the couch and unsnapped the baby’s sleeper.

  “I hope you believe I meant what I said. You’ll never be left alone to handle this pregnancy, nor will you be left alone to raise this child. Can you trust me on that?”

  Lorena turned from her task of putting on the fresh diaper to nod.

  “I trust you, Auntie. That’s why I came to you.”

  “Good. Now that we have that out of the way, the reason I want you to tell your dad first and then your mom is because we want to give them a chance to process and do this right. If they respond as I believe they will, with a whole lot more grace than they extended to me, then you’ll have the best scenario. But rest assured, if they don’t … I’ll be that person for you, and my home is your home as long as you desire.”

  Melody started to whimper. By the time Anna got across the room, she had ramped it up to a full-out scream.

  Anna laughed at Lorena’s wide eyes and furrowed brow.

  “What’d I do?”

  “Relax, Lorena, she’s just very vocal when she’s hungry.”

  Anna took the baby and settled in the rocker. “Breastfeeding is the way to go, Lorena. It’s a time to bond and no bottles to wash or formula to fuss with.”

  Lorena watched in astonishment as Melody instantly calmed. “Babies sure are amazing but scary.”

  “Yes, they’re amazing, but you’re the scary one,” Anna teased. “You should see your face. Why don’t you go wash up? I’m surprised Melody didn’t start crying the minute she saw you.”

  She could hear Lorena groan as she reached the bathroom mirror. “Auntie, how did you keep a straight face looking at that? Yikes, I’m a freak show.”

  Anna’s laughter floated down the hall.

  Anna opened the door to a very concerned man. “Come in, Tom. Lorena is waiting to speak to you.”

  Anna guided him into the living room where Lorena perched herself on the edge of a lounger looking like a bird about to take flight. Tom moved toward her, but with one look at her stormy face, he chose to sit on the couch across from her. Neither said a word.

  Anna felt out of place but necessary. Lorena’s eyes darted her way as if to petition help. Anna had little choice but to forge ahead.

  “Tom, Lorena has something to tell you. She desperately needs your love and support, and I’ve assured her of that.”

  “Why would you question that, Lorena? Why would you come to your aunt before coming to me?” A canyon of pain registered in his eyes.

  “Because she’s the only one who can possibly understand how I feel.”

  “Understand what?”

  Her voice trembled as she dropped her gaze. “I’m pregnant.”

  A gasp slipped from Tom’s lips as he jumped to his feet. He raked a hand through his hair and paced back and forth.

  “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m really sorry.”

  “Lorena, why didn’t you tell us?”

  Anna spoke up. “The reason she didn’t want to tell you or her mom was because she heard all the negative things said about me. She thinks that she’ll be considered unworthy of forgiveness and all the other things she heard. I assured her that it would be much different being that she’s your daughter.” A firm message burnt through Anna’s words for which she made no apology.

  “I haven’t agreed with Lana.” Tom said defensively.

  Lorena’s head snapped up and through the tears she cried, “But, Dad, you haven’t disagreed either. You just sit there and listen to her. You let her dictate everything.”

  A sheen of tears glistened in his eyes. “It’s true,” he admitted. “Rather than fight with Lana, I keep the peace by saying way too little, way too often.”

  Anna nodded. “You don’t have to tell me what a powerhouse my sister is. She’s a strong woman, but even a strong woman can be a wrong woman at times.”

  He nodded. “Lorena, I’ve known that something was wrong for a while now. I’ve tried to talk to you, but you’ve shut me down.”

  “I know, Dad. It’s just that you and Mom have been so busy with your careers and are hardly home. It’s … it’s hard to talk like we used to. I’ve been struggling with Christianity for quite a while now but didn’t think I could question you and Mom about it. All my friends have walked away, and there’s no one at the church I connect with. Then Joel came along and made me feel loved and needed. How wrong was that?” She hung her head in shame.

  Tom stepped toward her, but she held up her hand. “Dad, I need to finish.”

  “I was pretty sure I was pregnant that day at church when the news came out about Auntie. I wanted to tell you both, but when I heard Mom talk with such disgust and anger, I didn’t have the courage.” A soft sob escaped as she admitted. “Dad, I almost got an abortion yesterday because of that—and the pressure from Joel. Then when I wouldn’t do it, he broke up with me. He sure didn’t love me much if he could kick me to the curb like that.” Lorena’s tears flowed down her face like a river, “Daddy, I’m terrified.”

  He held out his arms and she ran into them. He held on tight.

  “Oh, Lorena, I’ve been so wrong. Please forgive me.”

  Lorena pulled back, her eyes widened in surprise.

  “Yes, my baby girl, the joy of my world. I’ve been wrong. My lack of leadership in our home has almost destroyed you and the innocent life of my grandbaby, and I’m very sorry. And I owe a big apology to your aunt as well.” He raised his head and looked across the room at Anna. She waved off his words and smiled.

  He mouthed, “Thank you.”

  Anna slipped away with Melody in her arms but not before she heard Tom promise, “From this day forward, Lorena, th
ings are going to change.”

  “No way, Tom! I will not stand by and let Lorena dictate terms to us.” Lana was practically screeching.

  “Our daughter is not dictating terms, I am!” He could see Lana was visibly tense and was about to unleash that fiery temper. With everyone else, she was the perfect lady, but with him … she let the real Lana out.

  Tom had done a lot of praying and knew that he could not bend. His daughter’s well-being depended upon his strength.

  “She would rather stay with my sister than us, and that’s okay with you?”

  “No, that’s not okay. But if you can’t assure me that you’re going to put aside your pride, forgive her, and support her wholeheartedly, then I’ll agree to her living at Anna’s. And I won’t have you talking behind her back like you have about your sister, either.”

  “My sister is my business.”

  “No, she’s my family too. Remember that promise you made me give you before we married, that I would care for your sister as if she was my own. Well, I bought into that kind of love for Anna, and just because she made a mistake doesn’t mean I have stopped loving her. My only mistake has been that I’ve been too weak to stand up to your bad behavior.”

  Her eyebrows lifted like a pair of startled crows and she gasped.

  His tirade gave him strength, and when she opened her mouth to speak her mind, his hand went up. “You need to hear what I have to say, this is long overdue. You’ve been one of the least forgiving when Anna needed you the most. Lorena has picked up on that. There’s little wonder she finds our ability to forgive too hard to trust.”

  Lana was done listening. “Well, I find it hard to trust her as well. Imagine her sneaking around. We didn’t even know she had a boyfriend.”

  “Who’s the adult here? Who’s the mature Christian? Is it Lorena or us?”

  Lana smacked her mug of tea on the counter, not caring that it splashed all over. “Lorena would not be in this situation if Anna had not been such a bad example,” she spat.

  “Lorena is three months pregnant, Lana, and has had this boyfriend for six months. This happened long before the news came out about Anna’s indiscretion, so don’t even go there. Besides, there’s no one to blame for the choices our daughter made, except for her and our lack of parental guidance.”

  Lana sunk into the nearby couch and began sobbing. “Where did we go wrong? Why would she do this to us?”

  “This is not about us, Lana. Sure, we’re hurt and disappointed and will undoubtedly be embarrassed, but if we don’t put our own pain aside, I fear we’ll lose Lorena forever. She needs us now. She looks so fragile. If we’re not a strong example of what Christ would do in this situation, her walk with God may be lost forever.”

  He dropped beside her on the couch and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Our daughter needs us, honey.”

  “I realize that, Tom, it’s just so hard.”

  He held out the box of tissues. “Life is sometimes hard. We’ve had a fairly charmed run thus far, but we can’t fail now when the going gets tough. Everything depends on doing it God’s way at this point, and the first thing is to find it in your heart to forgive your sister. That’ll speak more to Lorena than anything at this point. Then she’ll believe and trust our love and forgiveness for her.”

  “And, Lana, that means a heart-felt apology, too, because your sin of unforgiveness and gossip hasn’t been pretty.”

  A weak smile broke through the tears. “I’m not sure where you’ve put Tom, and I don’t think I like this new guy much at the moment, but it is rather attractive having someone boss me around for a change.”

  He pulled her close and kissed her soundly. Then proceeded to kiss every tear away.

  Anna felt the throb of a headache. She pressed her fingers to her temples and began to massage gently. What a strange paradox I’m in. I want Matt, yet I know it can never be. Everything about him terrifies me. He’s an amazing father, far too good looking, younger than me, educated, rich, and successful. I know I don’t fit into his world, but his kind, gentle, persistence is wearing me down. And if I’m honest, I’d admit how much I look forward to our evenings together and the connection of something far deeper than friendship.

  She didn’t have a clue how to stem the flow of her growing feelings. He weaved his way into her thoughts. He walked through her door every evening, eager to kiss his baby girl. He always wore a smile, brought a flower, or had a compliment for his two favorite girls. He was different. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was a peace about him that grew madly appealing.

  He remained careful, caring, and courteous. He never touched her, but at times she noticed how his eyes caressed her, and when he didn’t think she noticed, they devoured her.

  Just recently, he asked if she would mind if he attended church with them. He apparently had been going elsewhere but wanted to join her and Melody, if she agreed. She had hemmed and hawed, not wanting to hurt his feelings. She cared about his spirituality and wanted to encourage church, yet she was afraid of being seen as a couple when she didn’t know what they were. Or worse yet, if he told her that he became a Christian, then she’d have to face the walls that she’d erected between them with the most important one demolished.

  Matt was a patient man, but his patience wore thin. He wanted answers.

  When is Anna going to notice the difference in me? When will she be as attracted to me as I am to her? When will she let those walls down? When? When? When?

  They talked about a host of things, but the things he really wanted to discuss with her he could not. He wanted to ask her if she still mourned her husband. He wanted assurance that when she spent time with him, she wasn’t wishing she was having a conversation with Steven.

  He longed for the moment she would acknowledge a change in him so that he could give credit to God. He wanted her to see a different man, one that was not wrapped up in his own needs so much that he forgot what was proper and honorable. Did she have any idea how difficult it was to be in her presence and not succumb to the touch, the feel, the glory of the physical? If that was not a true example of power from on high, he wasn’t sure what would be.

  He had been praying for God’s wisdom and opportunity to speak his mind. One evening her weird behavior triggered the timing.

  He held Melody in the crook of his arm with her head cradled in the palm of his hand. As he tickled her tiny toes with kisses and made silly noises, he glanced up to find Anna staring at him with a very odd expression.

  “What?” he asked.

  She didn’t answer, but looked stricken with fear. She averted her gaze as if trying to hide something.

  “Okay, sweetie pie,” he said to Melody. “Your mama has a secret that she doesn’t want your daddy to know. But guess what. I’m going to rock you to sleep now and give her time to think. Then I’m going to demand an answer. What do you think about that?” Melody cooed in delight as if she understood every word. He watched Anna closely, her skin blanched white and she wouldn’t make eye contact. What was going on in that pretty head of hers?

  All while he rocked Melody in the nursery, he prayed. The sudden urge to push Anna for an answer to her unusual reaction grew powerful. He tucked the sleeping Melody in her crib, covered her with a light blanket, and crept out the door.

  He found Anna sitting pretty in the middle of the swing on the back porch. Normally, he’d avoid joining her on a loveseat at all cost, but tonight it was as if God wanted him up close and personal. He boldly squeezed in beside her, and she made room. He placed his arm behind her shoulder on the back of the swing but didn’t touch her.

  Instead of his usual conversation on safe subjects like the weather, work, or her day, he got right to the point. “What’s got you tied in knots tonight?” He shifted his body to better see her face.

  “Now don’t go looking shocked. You’d never make a good
card player. Your expression is a dead giveaway.”

  Raw fear flickered in her eyes, and she began to fidget. Matt noticed how she scooted to the far corner of the swing to place distance between them. He wanted to put her at ease and tell her not to worry about whatever it was she didn’t want to say, but felt compelled to sit silent. A long moment passed.

  “It hit me tonight. Something I’ve not made right … and yet it terrifies me to do so.”

  Matt watched her curl her bare feet beneath her and crisscross her legs. She looked vulnerable, sweet, and beautiful all at the same time. It took all he had not to gather her in his arms that very second. Instead, he took a deep breath and asked. “Does this something involve me?”

  “Yes, only you.”

  “Then that shouldn’t be too hard. You know me. I’m easy to get along with.”

  “Matt, no joke, this is really difficult.”

  Matt watched as she clasped her hands together to still the shake that had taken over.

  “Earlier when I watched you with Melody, I thought how right you two looked together. I got to thinking how much Melody would have missed if you hadn’t found out the truth. That triggered a memory … a lie I told to ensure you would stay away. I remembered some undone business, and I know God wants me to ask your forgiveness, but that means telling the truth. I’m not sure I’m ready, and yet … the Spirit of God thinks I am.”

  Matt’s heart hammered within his chest.

  “I told you all those months ago, that when we were together … that night we made love …” She stammered over her words and buried her face in her hands.

  He waited. Hope and dismay jockeyed for position.

  She looked up and their gazes locked. “I told you that I was thinking of Steven both that night we were together and when you kissed me again that evening in the kitchen and I responded. In both cases … I lied.”

  Her cheeks flamed red, and Matt could see her embarrassment.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He stood quickly causing the swing to rock erratically and almost sent Anna flying, but he didn’t notice. He stepped out onto the porch and leaned against the rail with his back to her. He slowly exhaled the air that had been caught in his lungs at her admission. A wide smile split across his face as he ran a hand through his hair.