When We Began

by Elena Aitken

  Logan powered his way through the aisles. He kept his head down and his mind set to his task. He just needed enough supplies to hold him for another week or so. He was so focused on getting what he needed and getting out of there, he didn’t notice the woman with a full cart standing in the middle of the aisle until his cart almost smashed into hers.

  “Oh.” He stopped short. “Sorry. I didn’t see—hey, are you okay?”

  Even without the training he’d had, he would have been able to see that there was something wrong. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut, her breath was coming fast and in short pants, and there was a bead of sweat along her forehead. Her hands were wrapped around a small stack of books and she was completely unaware that he was standing there.

  “Hello,” he said again. Logan reached out and, gently so as not to startle her, touched her hand. “Is everything okay?”

  The woman’s eyes flew open and she looked directly at him. There was a flicker of recognition. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t quite place her. That wasn’t completely unusual; they’d probably gone to school together. But it was something more, as if maybe he’d seen her recently, or…

  “I’m fine,” the woman said after a moment. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. When she opened her eyes again, the panic he’d seen there a moment before had faded. “I was just…” She looked down at the books in her hands. “Trying to decide what book to read.” She faked a smile and shrugged before putting all three books in her cart. “Sorry, were you trying to get by?” She maneuvered her cart out of the way and just like that, the distressed woman from a moment before was completely gone, replaced with a much more confident version that Logan suddenly remembered.

  “Don’t I know you?”

  She blinked hard before a look of recognition crossed her face as well. “Yes. The reunion. I remember now.” She straightened her shoulders and beamed a smile at him.

  It was the reunion where Logan remembered seeing the tall, striking brunette. She looked so polished and put together and so completely big city. She was the exact opposite of what Tina had been with her worn jeans and t-shirts, maybe a cute sundress when the occasion called for it. But Tina never would have been seen in a tailored suit or designer dress. Maybe that’s what had caught his eye in the first place: that she was so completely different than the love of his life had been. And yet, still, he’d been somehow drawn to her.

  “We went to school together?” he asked, trying to place her from days gone by.

  She smiled and tucked her long hair behind her ear. “We did, but I was a few years ahead of you. Logan Myers, right?”

  The fact that she knew his name pleased him in a way he couldn’t have expected.

  “Evan Anderson told me,” she admitted. “I honestly didn’t recognize you at all, Little Logan.”

  Despite the fact that he’d hated that nickname almost his entire life, he laughed. “That’s me.”

  “Not so little anymore.” She extended her hand. “I’m Amber.”

  Amber.

  He’d definitely remembered seeing her at the reunion, but there was something else. Where had he heard that name recently?

  He slipped his hand over hers, the softness of her skin registering in a place deep down inside.

  “Amber Monroe.”

  Monroe?

  That’s where he’d heard the name before. She was Joseph Monroe’s daughter. The very same one who had the old man worked up and upset. Logan’s instinct was to say something to the woman and let her know the effect she’d had on her father, but the training he’d had as a therapy facilitator kicked in. It wasn’t his place to get involved.

  Besides, he didn’t know the situation and he didn’t know her very well. But something about her definitely made him want to change that.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Amber.” He let his gaze linger on her face as he released her hand. “And yes, I’ve grown up a little bit.”

  “You certainly have.” The moment the words came out of her mouth, she flushed a bright red. “I mean…well, I didn’t mean…I just…”

  Logan got the impression that Amber wasn’t a woman who flustered very easily. Or very often, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

  “It’s okay.” He let her off the hook. “Are you in town for a visit? Or did you boomerang, too?” He certainly couldn’t explain it, but something about this woman in only a few short minutes had lit up a part of him that had been in the dark a very long time. Despite all of the reasons he shouldn’t have been, not the least of which was that she was Joseph’s daughter, he was attracted to her. It was a part of him that he’d been so sure had died along with Tina. And the feeling left him unbalanced and shaken. But not enough to stop talking to her.

  “Boomerang?” She laughed and the sound filled him. He wanted her to do it again. “That’s an interesting way of putting it. But I guess I did boomerang.” She looked pensive for a moment. “At least for a little while,” she added. “I came home to help my best friend. Her husband just passed away. Eric Ross? He went to school at Timber Creek High, too. But he was a few years ahead of me.”

  Logan nodded. Eric had babysat him and Kyla, his little sister, when they were kids. Eric had been older than him by a few years, but he’d always been a sort of hero to Logan, and he’d looked up to him long after graduation. “I knew Eric,” Logan said. “Cancer is such an asshole.” He shook his head. “But it’s good you can be here for Drew. It’s so terrible.”

  “You know Drew?”

  He shrugged. “Only in the sense that she is—or was—Eric’s wife. I don’t really know her, though. I was at the memorial service. It was….” He let his thought trail off. They didn’t need to stand in the aisles of the grocery store discussing something so terrible. “Anyway, I bet Drew really appreciates you being here. How’s she doing? I know that’s a stupid question, but…”

  “It is.” Amber nodded. “But it’s a caring question, too. She’ll be okay.”

  “I believe that,” Logan said with a kind smile. “How long are you planning on staying?” He surprised himself by asking the question. “Are you headed back to…” He realized he didn’t know anything about her or where she was from. “Well, are you headed back in a bit?”

  A shadow crossed her face and her control slipped a little, reminding Logan of the way he’d stumbled across her, looking as if she were on the verge of a panic attack.

  “No,” she said after a moment. “At least, not right away. I’ll stay as long as she needs me and now it looks like I need to keep an eye out for my dad as well.”

  “Your dad?” Alarm bells went off in his head, warning Logan not to get involved, but he couldn’t help it. “Is he okay?”

  “He’s fine. Well, I hope he is.” She groaned and rolled her eyes. “It’s a long story, but I think he might be being taken advantage of. He seems to have gotten involved in some sort of horse therapy thing. I’m not exactly sure what it’s all about, but from the little I know, he’s spending a lot of time volunteering. And hopefully he’s not spending all his money, too. He’s retired and while he’s certainly not poor, I don’t want to see him giving all his money away to some sort of circus operation, or hocus-pocus thing.”

  As she spoke, Logan could feel his blood pressure rising. She was ranting on and on about something she clearly knew nothing about.

  Logan’s feelings warred with each other. The need to defend his horses and what he was trying to do was strong, but he also didn’t trust himself not to say something he would regret. Instead, he gritted his teeth and looked at the floor. If Amber noticed, she didn’t say anything. Likely because she was too busy disparaging his life’s work.

  “I can’t stand it when these types of places pray on elderly people because they don’t know any better or they’re lonely,” she continued. “I mean, have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? Horse therapy? What the hell is—”

  “I think maybe you shouldn’t talk about something you
have no idea about,” he interrupted, finally having enough. Logan did his best to control the anger in his voice, but he knew it was a losing battle. “I have, in fact, heard of equine therapy and I don’t think it’s ridiculous at all. Have you done any actual research into it, or are your thoughts on it all based on your totally inaccurate and uneducated opinions?”

  Amber took a step back. Her mouth opened and closed, but it only took her a moment to regain her composure. “Who do you think you are, speaking to me like that?”

  A number of replies came to mind, but instead of speaking them, Logan squeezed his lips together and shook his head. It wasn’t worth it to get into an argument here in the middle of the store. Particularly with this woman, who obviously wasn’t afraid of confrontation. It wouldn’t end well and he had to be professional. No wonder Joseph was so worked up over his daughter. She was definitely a piece of work.

  Without saying another word, he turned and walked away, leaving her no doubt fuming behind him.

  Chapter Four

  Christy Thomas had never been so exhausted. Or so happy. It had only been about a month since she and her husband Mark had officially adopted their sweet little baby girl, but the moment she’d held Mya in her arms, Christy had felt a completeness that had been missing before.

  Despite the stressful circumstances leading up to the adoption, Christy was adapting to motherhood with ease. But she could definitely do with more sleep. She’d put on two different shoes before leaving the house that morning and had to double-check and then triple-check the diaper bag to make sure she’d remembered to prepare a bottle for Mya because she couldn’t seem to actually remember.

  It felt like a miracle that Christy was able to get to the park on time to meet her friends for a Saturday morning catch-up.

  “You made it,” Amber called as she pushed the stroller toward the bench where she and Drew were sitting, watching Austin play on the slide. Amber got up to offer Christy her seat and peek into the baby seat at a sleeping Mya. “She’s so sweet.”

  “She is so sweet,” Christy agreed. “Especially when she’s sleeping.” She smiled. “And what do you mean, I made it? Of course I made it.”

  “I was just teasing.” Amber laughed. “You really are rocking motherhood like no one else.”

  “As if we’re surprised.” Drew spoke up. “You were born to be a mother. We always knew you’d handle it like a pro.”

  Christy smiled and accepted her friends’ compliments. It had never been a secret that all Christy wanted was to be a mother. She’d been preparing her entire life to fill her house with the sound of little feet running around but a struggle with infertility had left her devastated, and the accompanying stress had almost fractured their marriage. Almost.

  Now Mark and Christy were stronger than ever, and after a little bit of soul searching, they’d readjusted the way they thought their life would look, and were embracing this new version. And they’d never been happier.

  “Thanks, ladies,” Christy said after a moment. “It’s certainly not easy.” She tipped her head to Drew. “You must remember those early days with Austin.”

  Drew shook her head. “No way. I completely blocked them. Besides, Eric did a lot of the—” Tears sprang to her friend’s eyes the moment she mentioned her deceased husband’s name and Christy instantly felt terrible.

  “I’m sorry, Drew. I—”

  “No. It’s fine.” She nodded sharply. “I’m fine. Besides, soon it will be Cam’s turn to remember late-night feedings. She obviously blocked it out, too, if she was willing to do it again after fifteen years.”

  As if mentioning her name had summoned her, a moment later Cam walked up to the bench, holding a tray of drinks. “Sorry I’m late. I brought tea and coffee. I should have known Daisy’s Diner would be crazy on a Saturday. What will be my turn to remember?”

  “Motherhood.” Amber laughed, the only one of the group who was not a mother and as far as Christy knew, never wanted to be.

  Cam’s free hand rested on her stomach that was just starting to swell. “I’m already a mother, remember?”

  “That’s just it,” Drew said. “I was just saying that I’d blocked all of those late nights and days on end with no real sleep, and I thought maybe it had been awhile for you too, and you’d maybe blocked out what it was like to have a little one.”

  “Are you kidding?” Cam laughed. “Absolutely, I blocked it out. Otherwise I’d never have done it again.” She was kidding; they all knew it. Cam had a beautiful, if not somewhat challenging teenage daughter from her first marriage, but after reconnecting with her high school sweetheart and the love of her life, Evan, they’d found themselves pregnant and couldn’t be happier about the new addition, even if it did mean they were postponing their wedding.

  The friends settled in to the park, taking turns holding baby Mya and pushing Austin on the swing. Christy couldn’t remember a time she’d ever been happier. Finally having the baby she’d longed for, and having all her best friends back in town: everything was perfect.

  The moment she allowed herself to think that, she felt a flash of guilt. Everything was not perfect. The reason all of her friends were back in Timber Creek was because something had gone wrong for each of them in their own lives. Cam had gone through a terrible divorce, Drew had returned so her husband could have his final few days surrounded by family and friends and she was now a tragically young widow, and Amber…well, besides Amber coming home to help Drew, Christy didn’t know why she was back in town. Maybe that really was all there was to it, but Christy’s instincts told her there was more to the story.

  “She seems to be doing better,” Christy said about Drew when the woman got up to help Austin with the monkey bars. “It’s good to see her out of the house.”

  “It is,” Amber agreed. “I mean, I don’t really know what to expect in these situations, but at least she’s not spending all her days in bed anymore. She even took Austin to school yesterday. It was his first week.”

  “That’s right,” Cam said. “I’m glad she has you.” She took a sip of her tea. “I’m glad they both have you.”

  “It really is great that you can be here for them,” Christy said, seeing an opening to finally find out what was going on with Amber. “And even better that you managed to make the move so quickly.”

  That was an understatement. Amber had arrived in town for Eric’s funeral and that same day had announced that she’d be moving back to Timber Creek and in with Drew without even going back to San Francisco to pack her things. Amber always did have a way of making things happen, but even for her, that was fast and she never had explained to anyone how she’d been able to make that happen with her high-powered job. There was definitely more to the story.

  Amber was an expert at managing her emotions, but Christy was paying close attention and she didn’t miss the way her friend’s mouth turned down into a quick scowl for just a moment. She didn’t answer right away, so Christy pushed. “I mean, you’ve never really said, Amber. Did you take a leave of absence from your job or…well…I guess I’m just wondering what happened in San Francisco? Was there a man?”

  Amber almost spat out her coffee. “A man?”

  It was a bit of a stretch, as Christy had never known her friend to have a boyfriend or a relationship at all. But she’d always held out hope that Amber would find someone and settle down.

  “There was definitely not any man involved in me leaving San Francisco.”

  “Then what happened?” It was Cam who asked and Amber, who was clearly growing uncomfortable, shifted her gaze to her. “We’ve all been so wrapped up in our own lives, I can’t believe we haven’t talked about what’s going on with yours.”

  “It’s fine.” Amber’s lips pressed into a thin line and the narrowing of her eyes were a clear indicator to anyone paying attention that, despite what she was saying, it was definitely not fine.

  “What’s fine?” Drew returned and stared at each of the women in turn. Her eye
s finally landed on Amber, her eyes wide in question. “What are you guys talking about?”

  “Nothing,” Amber said sharply. She shot Christy a look to make it clear the subject was closed.

  But as far as Christy was concerned, the subject was far from closed.

  “We’re talking about Amber,” Christy said definitely.

  “No.” Amber’s voice was tightly controlled. “We’re not because there’s nothing to talk about.” She stared at Christy. “Really,” she said. “There’s not.”

  “You do know that none of us believe that?” Cam tilted her head with the rhetorical question.

  “It’s true,” Christy agreed. “You loved your job.” She knew she was pushing too hard, but what kind of friend would she be if she didn’t try to get to the bottom of whatever was going on? “If something is—”

  “I just couldn’t do it anymore, okay?” Amber jumped up from her seat and threw her coffee in the trash bin. “I needed a change. A break. And I’m taking it. I’m here and I don’t know why that’s so goddamn hard for everyone to accept.”

  It wasn’t normal. That’s why it was hard for them to accept it. Amber never needed a break. She excelled with a packed schedule. The more balls she had in the air, she faster she juggled. No, something wasn’t right. But Christy didn’t say any of that because Mya cried out from her baby seat, distracting them all from the conversation.

  Amber knew her friends meant well, but she didn’t care how well-intentioned their questions were; she didn’t want to answer them. There was no way she could explain to them that she hadn’t quit her job—she’d been asked to leave, which was just a nice way of saying fired. There really was no way she could come clean to them about her drug abuse that had landed her in the hospital, which was why she hadn’t been able to be there for Drew earlier when her friend was going through the terrible pain of watching her husband pass away.