When We Began

by Elena Aitken

  “Forgive myself?” The words hit her hard. “I don’t—”

  “I’m not trying to upset you.” He was out of his chair and crouching on the floor next to her. “In fact, I really care about you, Amber, and I just really think that—”

  “Okay.”

  She spoke the word so quickly, she hadn’t even realized she’d said it for a moment.

  “Okay?”

  Amber nodded.

  “You’ll tell them?”

  “Okay.”

  Maybe it was time she came clean. Maybe she would feel better about everything. Maybe it would be a load off. There was only one way to find out.

  It might have been the cozy cabin with the fire in the stone fireplace. It might have been Logan, his support and obvious care for her. It might have been the afterglow of a special night or maybe it was just that Amber was sick of the secrets. Whatever it was, in that moment, she couldn’t think of a reason not to tell the truth.

  What could it hurt?

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Are you really not going to tell me what happened?” Drew abandoned the pancakes she was flipping at the stove and plopped herself down at the table in front of Amber.

  It had been almost a full twenty-four hours since the plows finally made it up to Logan’s cabin at the ranch and she was able to go home. Somehow Amber had managed to avoid the interrogation that she knew Drew was dying to give her.

  Until that morning.

  “I spent the night,” Amber said as innocently as she could manage without laughing. “I already told you that. In fact, I texted you to tell you that was exactly what I was doing. We were snowed in all day, but the plows showed up and dug us out, and here I am.”

  “You know that’s not what I’m talking about.” Drew looked pointedly at her. “What happened while you were there?”

  Amber gestured toward the stove with her head. “Your pancakes are burning.”

  Drew spun around before jumping up from her chair. “Damn it.” She flipped the charred breakfast into the sink and started again with more batter. “If I’m going to burn your breakfast, you might as well tell me what the hell happened.” She turned to face Amber and pointed the spatula in her direction. “I’m your best friend. Now spill. Lord knows I need a little good news in my life.”

  “Ouch.” Amber pressed her hand to her chest and pretended to look affronted. “Are you seriously going to play the woe-is-me card?”

  Drew grinned. “Whatever it takes. Besides, we tell each other everything.” A knife of guilt stabbed Amber in the gut at her friend’s choice of words, and the knife was twisted when she added, “Best friends don’t keep secrets from each other.”

  Right. Amber swallowed hard. Best friends don’t keep secrets. Except the giant, mega, King Kong secret that she’d been keeping from all of her best friends for her entire life.

  “Now tell me all I need to know before I burn round two.”

  Amber was brought back to the conversation at hand and forced a smile. There may be some things she still wasn’t sure about coming clean to her friends about, despite her promise to Logan, but there were somethings she could tell them. “I’m not one to kiss and tell, but…he made me a delicious dinner, we talked, and…”

  “And?”

  “You know it’s not my style to go into details.” She wiggled her eyebrows and Drew squealed.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll accept that. But just tell me, did you…”

  Amber nodded and Drew squealed again. “I knew it!” She ran to her and threw her arms around her. “I’m so happy for you. It’s about time.”

  “Wait.” Amber managed to wiggle out of her friend’s embrace. “About time for what?” She assessed her friend, who’d turned away, back to the stove and the pancakes. “What are you talking about? It’s not like I’ve never been with a man before.”

  If Drew thought that just because she’d been a workaholic most of her life and focused on her own goals that didn’t involve men, that she was a virgin, she didn’t know her as well as she thought she did.

  Drew burst out laughing. Despite the fact that Amber knew she was laughing at her, it was nice to see her best friend so happy, no matter what the reason. “I know that.” She wiped at her face, leaving a streak of batter behind.

  “Then what are you talking about?” Amber couldn’t help but laugh at Drew’s response. “It’s about time for what exactly?”

  “For you to have a relationship, silly.”

  “A what?” The laughter died on her lips as she stared at her friend with an open mouth. “You think that’s what it is?”

  “Yes.” Drew deftly flipped a pancake. “Because isn’t that exactly what it is?”

  Amber was going to open her mouth to object because that most certainly was not what it was. At least she thought it wasn’t. Relationships were all dinner dates, and making plans for Friday night, and texting throughout the day, and—shit.

  “Am I wrong?” Drew asked. But it was a rhetorical question because she kept talking. “Besides, I think it’s awesome. You know, it’s never too late to have a second chance.”

  “A second chance?” Amber shook her head. “What do you mean? I never had a first chance with Logan. This isn’t really—”

  “I mean at life. It’s like all those years ago you made a choice to go down one path instead of another and then for better or worse, that’s the way it went.” Drew’s eyes took on a far-off look. “And now, it’s like here you are…getting a second chance to do something else. Does that make sense?”

  Amber wasn’t sure they were still talking about her, but if they were, she wasn’t entirely sure that it did make sense.

  Fortunately for Amber, before she could say anything at all, Ben’s voice, followed by the man himself, interrupted them. “Something smells good in here.” He walked over to the counter where Drew had just piled a fresh stack of pancakes and tried to grab one.

  She smacked his hands. “If you’re hungry, make yourself useful by setting the table.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Amber watched the scene as Ben moved around the little kitchen and did as he was told. He’d been around more and more, and was clearly becoming familiar and comfortable in the space. Just as Drew was obviously becoming more comfortable with his presence. She knew Ben was just being a good uncle to Austin and friend to Drew, but she couldn’t help but remember something Cam had told her ages ago about Ben having a crush on Drew when they were kids.

  Not that it mattered because whatever the reason, Ben’s presence was obviously helping Drew heal. And that’s all she could ask for.

  A few minutes later, they were all seated around the table, feasting on a breakfast of pancakes and fresh fruit.

  “This is awesome, Mom,” Austin declared before stuffing another piece of pancake in his mouth. By last count, he’d already eaten at least four and showed no signs of stopping.

  “It really is good, Drew,” Amber agreed. “I’m so glad you’re cooking again. I think we were all getting sick of my toast and boxed cereal breakfast offerings.”

  Her friend looked down at the table for a moment but when she looked up, she was smiling. “Honestly, it feels good to do it. I never thought it would. I mean…” She shook her head and laughed at herself. “I never thought it would feel okay to do something normal again, but it’s not so bad anymore.”

  Ben took a gulp of orange juice. “Well, if you think cooking pancakes is normal, I bet a pot roast would be just as—ouch.”

  “Don’t push it.” Drew gave him a semi-serious look but there was no doubt she was considering it. Drew had always loved to cook and for good reason. She was amazing at it. “But I am actually thinking of taking care of a few things that should have been done a long time ago.” She pointed her fork at Amber. “And I was hoping you could help me.”

  “I’m sure I can. What’s up?”

  She almost wished she hadn’t asked when Drew said, “Some of the paperwork of Eric’s. His
will, some estate things mostly. It’s all kind of over my head and I could really use your legal mind. Besides, you’re the smartest person I know and I trust you with this stuff so if there’s anything unexpected, you’re the one I want on my side. Besides,” Drew added with a wink. “We don’t have any secrets, right?”

  “Right.” Amber shoved a piece of pancake in her mouth. As she struggled to swallow the food that despite being light and fluffy only a moment before had now become thick and dry in her throat, Amber was consumed by guilt. There was no way she could tell Drew or the others the truth about her life now. Not when they all thought she was so irreproachable and trustworthy.

  How could she possibly tell them she wasn’t who they thought?

  She couldn’t. And hadn’t she always known that?

  It had been a couple months already since the adoption had been finalized. Legally as well as bound by the heart, Mya was hers. But that didn’t stop the flutter of nerves that took over every time Christy prepared to meet with Mya’s birth mother, Becky.

  She was a nice girl and she’d never given any indication to either Christy or Mark that she was going to change her mind about giving Mya up for adoption. She hadn’t made the decision lightly, and everyone knew it was the right one.

  Still, Christy had to swallow her nerves as she approached the park bench where Becky was sitting and waiting for them at Riverside Park.

  Almost at once, when Becky stood and greeted her with a warm hug, the nerves were gone. “It’s so good to see you,” the girl said before turning her attention to the baby. Her fingers fluttered, unsure, over the blanket covering the sleeping infant in the stroller before she snatched it up and moved it away. “She’s gotten so big,” Becky gasped. “How is that even possible?”

  Christy chuckled. “She does a lot of eating.” She watched Becky stare at the baby for a moment before she asked, “Do you want to hold her?”

  Immediately Becky nodded and then shook her head. “Yes. I mean, no. I don’t want to disturb her. I remember very well how hard it was to get her back to sleep.”

  Christy’s smile was kind. She bent over and started to unfasten the buckles that held Mya in place before gently scooping her up. “It’s okay, Becky. She settles much better now, and she probably won’t even wake up.”

  She handed the baby to Becky and sat next to them. It took the girl a minute to relax, but soon she was rocking gently without even realizing it, the way most people who hold a baby do.

  “She’s beautiful.” Becky’s voice was slightly more than a whisper. “It’s amazing what you’ve done…I mean…she’s like a completely different baby. So calm and…” Her voice trailed off as she simply gazed down at the child. After a moment, Becky looked up. “I’ve registered for school.”

  “School? What kind?”

  “I’ve decided to go for my nursing degree.” Becky’s face lit up as she spoke of her plans. “It won’t be easy and it will definitely take a long time. And I have to move. The course is in Seattle, which is crazy to even think about. Never mind the whole idea of going back to school for at least four more years. It definitely wasn’t top of my list, but that was before. And now…well…I think I can really make a difference. You know, like Doctor Thomas did for me.”

  Mark had really made a difference in Becky’s life. Christy blinked hard to keep from crying.

  “Do you think it’s a stupid idea?” Becky shifted the baby in her arms and eagerly looked to Christy for assurance. “I mean, it’s not like I’m going to be a doctor, but I thought that maybe…and there was some financial aid and…it just seemed like—”

  “The perfect thing.” Christy laid a hand on Becky’s arm. “It’s perfect and I think it’s an amazing idea, Becky. Really. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I know you can do it. You can do anything. I’m sure of it.”

  The girl didn’t have a strong parental figure in her life, and just as Christy and Mark had adopted little Mya, in a way, they’d also adopted Becky.

  “I’m very proud of you.”

  Becky held Mya for a few more minutes until she started to fuss and she handed the baby back to Christy. In return, Christy gave her a little photo album she’d put together with some of the pictures Cam had taken. They hugged again and made arrangements to get together before Becky left for school in Seattle.

  Christy rocked Mya to settle her down again and waited a few minutes before making her way back into town to take care of the rest of her errands.

  After living in Timber Creek her entire life, it wasn’t unusual for her to run into someone she knew, so she wasn’t surprised when she ran into Logan Myers in the parking lot of the bank.

  “Nice to see you,” Christy said. “I’ve been kind of hoping to run into you.”

  Logan looked around as if to see if she were talking to someone else, but Christy only laughed. “It’s not every day that a man manages to snag our Amber,” she explained. “And that means that my duty as a friend is to—”

  “Interrogate me?” He winked at her, playing along.

  “I wouldn’t call it an interrogation so much as the…third degree.”

  They laughed.

  “Seriously, though,” Christy said. “We’ve never seen Amber like this, and it’s really nice.”

  It was nice. Christy, like the others, had always hoped that Amber would find someone and maybe not settle down so much as settle in. She’d always seemed a bit restless and agitated somehow. But lately, since she’d been home in Timber Creek, she seemed different in a way. Not so anxious. Christy couldn’t help but think that Logan had a lot to do with that shift.

  “I was thinking,” Christy said, making a snap decision. “Why don’t you and Amber come for Thanksgiving dinner? It’s Mya’s first Thanksgiving, so I thought I’d have a group over and do it up right.”

  She had most definitely not been thinking that. In fact, she and Mark had discussed having a quiet Thanksgiving, just the three of them. Their parents were all out of town, and it seemed silly to do up a turkey just for them. But at no time had they talked about inviting everyone over and having a giant feast. Mark was going to kill her. But he’d get over it. Besides, it would be fun.

  “What do you say?” she asked when Logan still hadn’t answered. “I’m not going to take no for an answer.”

  “Well then,” he laughed, “I guess that’s a yes. What can we bring?”

  He shouldn’t be disappointed. It’s not like Logan actually thought the bank meeting would go differently than it did. He had no assets, no collateral, and no hope in hell that the bank would give him a loan. He hadn’t been the least bit surprised when Leslie Wilson, the bank manager, gave him the news.

  “I’m sorry, Logan.” She’d looked genuinely sorry, too. Not that it mattered. “I just can’t do it. With your lack of credit history, it’s just…”

  “I understand.” And he did. “But I had to give it a shot.”

  He’d left the bank with the last of whatever hope he had, dashed. The best he could hope for now was that whomever bought Ruby’s ranch would allow him to continue to run the therapy practice. Which meant he needed to put together a business plan for Taking the Reins so he’d have the strongest case to present whenever the sale went through.

  But first, he had a lunch date with the most beautiful woman in town.

  He met Amber at Riverside Grill, where she’d arrived before him and had already secured a table by the window. She had her back to him and was gazing out at the snowy riverbank outside as he approached.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” He hesitated a moment before pressing a kiss to her cheek. But the smile on her face when she turned and saw him erased any hesitancy he might have felt about the status of their relationship. Because that’s exactly what it was. At least as far as he was concerned. He was falling hard and fast for this woman, and although it was the last thing he ever would have expected to happen, least of all with her, there was no way he was going to deny his feelings.<
br />
  “Not at all.” She grabbed his arm before he could take his seat and pulled him back to her for a proper kiss that sent electrical shots throughout his body.

  Yes. He was definitely falling. That is, if he hadn’t already completely fallen.

  “I was just looking at the river,” she said as Logan took his seat. “Isn’t it amazing how it can go from free flowing one moment to completely frozen over? It never fails to amaze me how running water can freeze solid in an instant.”

  He followed her gaze and nodded. “It’s beautiful no matter what.”

  “It is.” She turned to give him her full attention. “How has your morning been? I was surprised when you said you’d be in town.”

  “Good surprised, I hope?”

  She reached over and put her hand on his. “Definitely. I just expected you would be at the ranch taking care of things.”

  He sighed. “I was in town taking care of things,” he said. “Or I guess I should say, I was trying to take care of things.” He turned her hand over and squeezed. “I tried to get a loan to buy the ranch.” He shook his head and chuckled a little to himself. Even saying it out loud, it sounded completely ridiculous. “But it’s not going to happen.”

  “Oh, Logan. I’m sorry.” She looked genuinely upset with the news. “I know I already offered, but is there anything I can do? I mean it. We can—”

  “No.” He stopped her before she could get riled up with all kinds of plans that probably wouldn’t be enough anyway. “It’s okay, Amber. Really. The bank was a long shot, but I had to try, ya know?”

  She nodded. “I do.”

  The waitress showed up then to take their drink order, and after she left, they focused on the menus before resuming conversation. “How about you?” he asked after she put her menu to the side of the table. “How has your day been?”

  “Good.” The grin on her face was so cute, it washed away any lingering disappointment from his meeting. “Drew cooked up a big breakfast, which gave her the opportunity to grill me about you.”