Tainted Forever

by Terri Anne Browning

  “Peachy,” she told him, and I heard the catch in her voice seconds before her chin began to tremble.

  Before I could say anything, she stepped back from the bar and walked away, not even touching her drink.

  “Shit.” I caught her around the waist before she could get far, but she jerked away from me. “Kin—”

  “Leave me alone,” she yelled over her shoulder. “Tell Derrick I’ll see him Friday night. I don’t want to see either one of you until then.”

  “Baby, don’t do this.” I followed her down the stairs and past Tiny, who only lifted his brows at me. I shrugged as I passed him, hurrying after Kin.

  She didn’t stop until she was outside, and only then to flag down one of the taxis lined up outside the club. I lifted her by the waist, keeping her locked against my side as I gave the valet attendant my ticket.

  Kin’s hair hit me in the face in her effort to unlock my arm. “Let me go,” she growled.

  “You’re stirring up the vultures across the street,” I warned.

  “I don’t give a fuck. Let them take their pictures and print whatever shitty story they want to make up,” she seethed. “Let me go. I’m not going home with you.”

  “Then we’ll go back to your place,” I assured her, keeping my voice calm.

  “There is no we,” she yelled at me, her nails raking over my forearm. “I’m going home, and you can rot for all I care.”

  Gut twisting in apprehension, I released her so I could turn her to face me. “What does that mean?” I demanded, paralyzed with dread.

  She tossed her hair out of her face, her eyes full of tears. “It means maybe we shouldn’t be together, after all.”

  “Don’t say that,” I begged.

  “You’re still not putting me first. Everyone else in the world comes before me, including my dad.” Two fat tears fell from her eyes, and I wanted to hit rewind, redo the last ten minutes.

  “Baby, I am putting you first,” I tried to explain, but from the tilt of her chin, I could tell she wasn’t really listening. I still had to try, though. “I want you to see Scott for you, not for him. Fuck him. He doesn’t deserve shit. But I know how much it matters to you. If you don’t sit down and at least talk to him, you’re going to regret it, Kin.”

  “I have no regrets where he’s concerned,” she said, turning her face away. “I gave him months of my life to try to repair our relationship after Mom died. He blew it, and he doesn’t get another chance. I’m done giving anyone more chances to hurt me.”

  “Kin, baby, just listen—” I was cut off as her face suddenly turned green and she bent, her stomach heaving as she puked at our feet. I jumped back out of the splash zone and reached for her hair, pulling it away so she didn’t get vomit in it. “Fuck, are you okay?” I rubbed her back, and she only groaned as she puked again.

  I pulled off my shirt and used it to wipe her face. When the valet attendant pulled up beside us, I lifted her and placed her in the passenger seat. I buckled her in before going around to the driver’s side where the attendant was waiting patiently. I barely remembered to tip him before climbing behind the wheel.

  “Where are we going?” I asked her as I pulled out into traffic.

  “I don’t care,” she said weakly, pressing the side of her face against the window.

  I grasped her hand, bringing it to my lips. “Is it okay if I take you back to my place? You probably have a stomach virus. It will be easier to take care of you there.”

  “I don’t care,” she repeated, closing her eyes.

  Glad she wasn’t fighting me any longer, I drove back to my apartment as quickly as I could. Pulling into my usual parking spot, I turned off the car. Kin didn’t even move, her eyes still shut. Figuring she must have fallen asleep, I walked around to the passenger side and lifted her into my arms, carrying her to the elevators.

  A few people were already waiting, but they took one look at me with no shirt and Kin asleep in my arms with the shirt clutched in her hands, and they kept their mouths shut. She didn’t even stir as I unlocked my apartment door and carried her into my bedroom. But as I placed her on the bed, she moaned and jerked upright, her hand covering her mouth.

  I lifted her back into my arms and ran with her to the bathroom. There was barely enough time to get her to the toilet before she was puking again. I carefully placed her on her knees, holding her hair back from her face. As she vomited, I found one of her hair ties in one of the sink drawers and used it to make a semi-decent ponytail.

  With my hands now free, I grabbed a washcloth and dampened it with cold water. Placing it on the back of her neck, I grabbed another to wipe her face with.

  “Ugh,” she moaned. “Make it stop.”

  “Wish I could, baby,” I told her as I filled the glass on the sink with water and offered it to her so she could rinse her mouth. But no sooner had she spat it out than she was heaving again.

  Pulling a towel from the cabinet, I lifted her legs and positioned it under her so her knees weren’t digging into the cold, tiled floor. She was going to be there a while from the looks of it.

  When she was done for the moment, I helped her take off her clothes and then dressed her in one of my T-shirts and a pair of my boxers, wanting her to be as comfortable as possible. She leaned weakly against me as I pulled the shirt down over her hips.

  “Want to try lying down again?” She nodded, and I carried her into the bedroom and laid her down. Covering her up, I went in search of a bucket. Kassa had one in her and Gray’s bathroom, thankfully.

  Only when everything was taken care of did I pull off my own clothes and get ready for bed. Climbing in behind her, I rearranged the cool, damp cloth on her forehead and cuddled her close.

  “I’m sorry about earlier,” I told her, pressing a kiss to the back of her head. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought I was helping.”

  She sighed tiredly. “No, I overreacted. You were right. I do need to see him.”

  “Not if it’s going to upset you. I only want you to be happy, Kin. I’ll support whatever you want to do.” My arms contracted around her for a moment, my eyes clenching shut as I fought back the emotions that had been choking me when she’d started throwing up earlier. “Just don’t leave me again.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean it. I was just hurting.”

  “I know, but you scared the hell out of me,” I confessed. “You had me sweating bullets, baby.”

  “You and Derrick seemed more worried about Scott and Shannon than what it would do to me,” she choked out.

  “No, baby, no,” I kissed the back of her head again, stroking one hand down her side soothingly. “I don’t give a fuck about them. I just want what’s best for you. If you never want to see Scott, I’ll make it happen, I promise.”

  She turned slowly, as if afraid moving too quickly would disrupt her stomach again. Her arms curved around my waist, and she looked up at me. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her face was pale. She looked miserable. “I’ll have dinner with them Friday. I’m not looking forward to it, but I’ll see him.”

  “Whatever you want, Kin, I’ll support you. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Chapter 27

  Kin

  Two days later and I was still feeling like crap. No sooner did I start feeling better, than my stomach would start protesting all over again. But I pushed through because I had a million things to do to prepare for the winter tour that was quickly approaching.

  Friday morning, I had auditions with the two bands I thought would sound best with my style. Jace drove me to Aunt Emmie’s office, staying beside me through the whole thing because I was so nervous. The last few days, he’d been pretty great, taking care of me while I was so sick I could barely lift my head. He hadn’t left my side once, babying me so much that I should have been annoyed, but I only loved him more for it.

  Walking into the studio where Shane would record the two auditions so I could
listen to them afterward, I set my sheet music on the stand and reached for the guitar case Jace carried up for me. In the other room, I saw Shane and Nik waiting, and I appreciated them both being there for this. As with Jace’s opinion, I valued both the Demons’ as well.

  “You look like crap,” Shane’s voice filled the recording booth, his tone laced with concern. “You sure you’re up for this?”

  “I’ve been sick,” I told him. “But I’m feeling better today.” It wasn’t a complete lie. I was feeling better than I had been. At least I hadn’t puked—yet—that day. Of course, I hadn’t eaten yet either. I was lucky I was keeping down the sports drinks Jace kept shoving into my hand.

  “Well, just take it easy. You don’t want to puke on your new band,” he said with a grin.

  I flipped him off and finished setting up. “I’m ready when they are,” I told Nik. “Let Aunt Emmie know.”

  He nodded and lifted his phone to his ear, alerting his wife that she could send down the first band.

  The next two hours were spent going through some of my playlist with both bands. The first one was an all-guy band that could keep up with me easily. I liked them a lot, and they even had me laughing a few times despite how shitty I felt.

  The second was just as good, also all-male, but they didn’t put me at ease as much as the first. I needed a band that could make the whole getting onstage thing easier, and it definitely wasn’t them.

  After the second band left and I went in to talk to the others about it, they were in complete agreement. But it wasn’t until I heard the recordings that my mind was made up. I could even hear a difference in my voice between the two bands, and I liked how I sounded with the first band so much better.

  “I like them because they weren’t eye-fucking you the whole time like the second band was,” Jace said as we walked out of the building a while later. “I swear, if that bassist had looked at your ass one more time, I would have knocked his ass out.”

  “He was kind of a creeper, huh?”

  “He was kind of a dick,” Jace grumbled. “Glad you decided on the other one, babe.” He kissed my lips before opening his passenger door for me. “You feeling okay? Want to go home and rest?”

  “I wanted to go see Lucy and the baby, but I’m afraid I’ll get them sick. So home it is.”

  He was grinning when he got behind the wheel.

  “What?” I asked when he started the car.

  “You keep calling my place home. Let’s make it official and get all your stuff moved in before the tour,” he suggested.

  I frowned, realizing he was right. I had called his place home a lot in the last few days. But I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to make it official yet. “I’ll think about it,” I told him.

  “That’s not a no,” he said with a smirk as he pulled into traffic. “I’d call that progress.”

  Rolling my eyes, I turned my head toward the side window, hiding my smile from him.

  For the rest of the day, Jace watched TV in the living room, and I napped with my head pillowed on his lap. I slept deeply, but I still woke up feeling tired when I needed to get up for our dinner with my dad. When Jace pulled up in front of the restaurant a while later, I was fighting back a yawn.

  “Are you sure about this?” Jace asked, his brow pinched as he looked at me. “You look like you could fall asleep at any minute.”

  “I’m fine,” I assured him. “And I’m hungry. Come on. I need food.”

  Handing his keys over to the valet, he met me on the sidewalk and took my hand. “If you start feeling sick again, let me know. We don’t have to stay.”

  “Okay.”

  “And if you’re not feeling better tomorrow, I’m taking you to the doctor,” he threatened.

  “Okay,” I repeated, walking into the restaurant in front of him. He stopped me, turned me to face him, and put his hand to my forehead. “What are you doing?”

  He felt his own head with the same hand, then mine again. “Seeing if you have a fever. You’re not arguing with me, and I’m a little concerned.”

  I playfully smacked his hand away. “Stop it. I’m fine.”

  “Still not arguing. Maybe I should take you to the doctor now. That urgent care place is open for another half an hour, I think.”

  Laughing, I hugged his waist. “Honestly, I’m okay. Stop worrying.”

  “Start acting like yourself, and I will,” he grumbled.

  “I’m just tired. I’m more malleable when I’m sleepy.”

  “Well, it scared the fuck out of me.” He kept one arm around me as we walked up to the hostess’s podium. “Reservations for Montez,” he told the older woman dressed in a chic black button-up and long black skirt.

  She didn’t even blink at the name. No doubt the woman saw her share of celebrities walk through the place every night, and she was immune to them at this stage of her life. She consulted her list and stepped away from the podium. “The rest of your party has already arrived. Follow me, please.”

  Jace urged me in front of him, but he kept one hand on my hip, letting me know he was right there with me.

  For some reason, I felt a sense of calm as we approached the table where I could already see Derrick sitting with Shannon and Scott. The Blonde sitting beside him shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. Seeing London, I smiled, already liking her more than anyone else at that table. Derrick had hurt my feelings more than I expected the other night, which was probably why I’d overreacted to Jace.

  Derrick had become a really close friend, and I hadn’t been expecting him to use me just to make his sister happy. I should have, I realized that now, but it still stung.

  Scott and Derrick stood as we reached them, but I ignored them both as I took the empty chair beside London. As I sat, the Blonde touched my leg under the table. “Thank fuck you’re here,” she whispered as she leaned in. “I was seriously about to make myself puke just get out of being here.”

  I covered her hand, giving it a squeeze. “No purging tonight,” I whispered.

  Her eyes darkened. “I make no promises. Not a fan of the sister. She’s way too judgmental for me.”

  “You two know each other?” Shannon asked in a sweet voice as she picked up her water glass, watching London and me over the top of it.

  “London is a good friend,” I told her, my eyes narrowing on her when hers passed over the Blonde with a look of disdain. “And I always take care of my friends,” I told her with a cold smile that warned her to back the fuck off.

  The other woman’s eyes widened, and she set down her glass. I shot Derrick a glare as he and Scott shook Jace’s hand. He’d better keep his sister off London’s case, or I wouldn’t hesitate to kick him in the balls.

  Jace took the seat beside me, draping an arm over the back of my chair. “Sorry we’re late,” he told them. “Kin was sleeping really peacefully and I hated having to wake her up, so I let her nap longer than I should have.”

  “Have you not been feeling well?” Scott asked, those eyes identical to my own skimming over my face. “You do look a little peaked.”

  “I’m just getting over a virus,” I excused, avoiding his gaze in favor of examining the menu. “It took a lot out of me.”

  “Thank God,” he muttered, and my eyes snapped up as he continued. “I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant or something. I’m too young to be anyone’s grandfather.”

  “Funny,” I bit out. “But no. I have the implant. It’s not due to be changed out for a few more weeks. I’ll get it done before we go on tour.”

  “Is that easier than the pill?” London asked, interested. “Because I’m getting tired of taking that damn thing every day.”

  “I kept forgetting to take it,” I told her. “Plus, with the implant, I stopped having a period after the first year or so.”

  “Hell yeah. Sign me up.”

  Scott cleared his throat. “As entertaining as this conversation is, let’s
order dinner, shall we?”

  Jace didn’t bother to pick up his own menu, just looked over mine. “You want to try some pasta?” he asked. “I’ll share my steak with you if you do.”

  “The sauce is too acidic for me tonight. I was just going to get a salad.”

  He kissed the corner of my mouth. “Get some protein on it. Steak might put some color back in your cheeks.”

  The waiter appeared and took everyone’s order, but as soon as he left, the entire table seemed to fall into an uncomfortable silence. As several minutes ticked by, I grew more and more impatient to get this over with.

  “Jillian is contesting the divorce, huh?” I commented. “Doesn’t surprise me. What does she want? More money? The house?”

  Scott sighed heavily. “She wants me to stop paying Carolina’s tuition and pay the money to her.”

  “And you said no?” He nodded, and I felt myself starting to soften toward him. “I didn’t know you were paying for her college.”

  “When she decided she wanted to go to an East Coast college, I promised her I would help out any way I could. Jillian put a freeze on Carolina’s trust fund, so I’ve been footing the bill.”

  “Ugh, I really hate her,” I muttered. “She’s nothing more than an attention whore. Caro knew she wouldn’t have any peace if she stayed local.”

  “Well, she’s doing spectacularly at Virginia Tech. She really seems to be finding her footing in life.” His voice was gentle, full of love and affection for his stepdaughter when he spoke of her. I might have been jealous if I didn’t love Carolina so much. Maybe if he’d been talking about Georgia, I would have been, but not the girl who was just as much a sister to me as Angie.

  “She busted her ass for midterms,” I told him. “She called me a few times stressing over them, but when she got her grades, she was really happy with herself.”

  “Why aren’t you studying this term?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I was busy when the semester started, but I don’t think I’m going back. It’s not really my thing.”

  “I’m really proud of your music,” he surprised me by saying. “I always knew you would write some great songs when you grew up.”