Technically, You Started It
Page 14
Then you could tell me if you wanted.
They were both at summer camp.
You mean the infamous church camp?
AWKWARD.
You have CLEARLY never been to summer camp.
Not a church one.
It’s worse than normal camps.
The first guy was SUPER cute and super confusing.
Oh, really?
We shared a cabin
He was from like Wisconsin or something.
You don’t even remember?
Do you remember his name?
I do but I’m not telling you.
Fine.
I deserve that.
Don’t even think of posting this as some kind of fic.
Would I do that?
You wouldn’t.
But no sexualizing my sexual awakening.
Trust me, that would never happen.
Not patronizing it either.
BAH! FINE!
I’m sure it was adorable.
Did anything happen?
I’m not telling you that part right now.
Fine, I deserve that too.
Urgh, I have to go.
We’re eating.
This late???
Yeah, family time.
Speaking of, you’re back at your mom’s tomorrow?
Step2’s flight arrives at 10 a.m. HUZZAH!
I’m sorry.
Don’t be
I’ll probably get at least THREE ice cream trips out of the deal.
Really?
Last time it was ten but I was thirteen so more ice cream inclined.
You’re not ice cream inclined now?
I don’t think they’ll pander to it as much.
Parents.
Tell me about it.
I don’t want to work today.
I don’t have to work today.
More imaginary people kissing?
Yes, but watching not reading.
???
Catching up on my dramas.
Shakespearean?
Korean.
I’m catching up on MY job sites.
Pretty sure I’m going to hit them all before the day is over.
You’ve already been to Europe once.
What more can you ask from the universe?
Are YOU going on a vacation this summer?
Sorta.
???
Yeah, we’re going to another con—Gen Con in August.
???
Google it.
Seriously, how nerdy are you?
The nerdiest person you know.
Is that like this weekend’s con?
No, this is way more about gaming.
What do you there? Raid?
No, it’s more for tabletop than video.
That and swear at my phone because it has zero service despite us being in downtown Indy.
What’s your poison?
Mostly board games, but there’s some cool other stuff.
A bunch of authors go.
Kissing book authors?
No, the kind of SFF authors that would go to a gaming convention.
That makes more sense.
It’s a kind of Mom-and-Dad thing more than a me thing.
That many people doesn’t seem very vacation-esque.
Tell me about it.
There are so many people I can barely even Google anything while I’m there.
It’s not my favorite, but I guess it’s fun.
It’s kind of tradition.
Plus, we drive.
You drive ALL the way there? That’s got to take a whole day!
About eleven hours.
That seems …
Weird?
Excessive?
“Excessive” is the perfect word.
It’s not bad.
This is why headphones were invented.
Plus, all the burritos a girl can eat.
You’re into burritos now?
Gas station stuff is growing on me.
Have you ever been on a road trip?
No … thank all that is holy.
Oh, too good for the open road?
Too busy.
We fly
Everywhere.
Time is money.
Mostly I get dragged on business trips anyway.
Even with your mom?
My mother doesn’t vacation
She works.
Okay, there’s no way to ask this that’s not totally insulting.
Or vaguely misogynistic.
???
Does she need to?
Not even a little bit.
If my father didn’t have enough to keep her comfortable, my grandfather would happily give it to her.
So why does she work so much?
She likes to.
Ever since the divorce
Well, three years after the divorce.
One month after my father announced his engagement to Step1 to be precise.
She just woke up and decided she was done with the Munroes.
She used their money to put herself through school.
Now even when she’s not at work she works.
How does she work not at work?
She’s a staff accountant who does taxes on the side.
All year long?
Corporate taxes
They never stop.
Oh, really?
They slow down but she ALWAYS finds something to do.
That’s how she found CHUCK.
I’m sorry.
I’m used to it.
I’m even more sorry.
No being sorry!!!
Oh, sorry.
I’m done now.
Back to the intern grind.
Godspeed.
I don’t know how to say goodbye in Korean.
Good!
You doing okay?
I’m on a sugar high.
She really took you for more ice cream?
My mother firmly believes in sticking with what she knows
As evidenced by the fact that she’s now back with CHUCK.
Oh.
Is that good or bad?
It’s better than obsessing about my father.
I suppose.
Plus CHUCK got me a drone.
I’m not going to complain about that.
Drone? Airstrike or Peeping Tom?
I prefer to think of it as aerial reconnaissance.
Just so long as you don’t use it to look in windows I’m okay.
I would NEVER do such a thing.
I’m trusted to “be the man of the house.”
Ugh, does he think you’re twelve?
He thinks he can win points by bonding with me
Which is better than how he wins points with my mother.
I don’t have to go to their fancy meal this time.
So, what? Are you home alone?
Amped up on chocolate and banana and let loose into the world.
So not at home.
I’m at Jack’s playing Xbox.
Oh.
Are you stomping him?
You know it.
I’ll leave you alone, then.
Nah. II’s finishing him off right now.
Really?
Really.
You still there?
Nope.
I’ve died of embarrassment.
???
No reason.
Afraid I’m going to say something?
Yes.
No.
Maybe not on purpose.
Trust me.
Please say your phone is locked.
Fingerprint.
Ugh.
???
They could use your finger to unlock the phone.
Paranoid much?
Yes.
Horribly paranoid.
And not wrong.
And if they ask who you’re talking to, say your friend from the internet.
What should I say this internet f
riend’s name is?
Francis.
You can say I’m Canadian.
And a boy.
A BOY named Francis?
Yes, French Canadian.
I’m from Quebec and I put mayonnaise on everything.
Eww.
You do NOT hate mayo.
On everything???
Especially french fries.
THAT’S SO WRONG!!!!
You’re not going to gross me out so I leave you alone again are you?
Are you????????
Thinking about it.
Too late I’m running away.
Night, Francis.
Good night, random stranger from the internet.
Okay, I’m going over to Sarah’s, so don’t message me.
???
They’ll ask questions.
It’ll get awkward.
They?
Lexi, Sarah, and Chloe.
Chloe again?
It’s Sarah’s birthday.
Oh right.
Yeah, so … all-night party.
I’ve saved you in my phone under Francis just in case.
So I’m only allowed to message you about hockey and maple leaves.
And Bieber.
Bieber???
He’s Canadian.
Right …
Are you sure we’re not at war with them?
You can talk about Trudeau too.
Everyone thinks he’s dreamy.
Not my father.
Ah, yes, progressive social programs don’t always go with big money.
My grandmother adores him
As does my grandfather.
His wife is on some board with my grandmother.
She does do a lot of charity work.
As does my grandmother.
How progressive.
I’m not touching that one.
Good job, Francis.
If you need me … I’ll be here with my poutine and pancakes.
Ew.
Yeah. Regretting that one.
As you should.
You’re not awake, are you?
Bonsoir, eh?
You don’t have to be Francis. They’re all asleep.
I guess you’re not plugged in because you’re not home.
Yeah.
Something like that.
???
Everything was just wrong.
???
I think Sarah has a crush on someone new.
But I only know this based on something Chloe said. Which means Chloe knows, but Lexi and I don’t.
Mature.
Chloe wants us to know she knows, but not know who so we can’t be in on it.
How Chloe of her.
Tell me about it.
Are you jealous?
Uncomfortable.
???
The entire night became about kissing and hooking up and double entendres and—UGH.
Plus, Lexi started implying that I had my own crush.
Anyone I know???
It was so stupid. Every time she mentioned it, Chloe would go on and on about Gabe and how amazing and sweet he is and how soon Sarah will be in the same situation.
Sounds painful.
It’s just ridiculous.
I had to hear how they made out during fireworks.
It was soooooooooooooooooooo romantic.
I nearly died from how sweet it was.
We all did.
This party could have taken a tragic turn.
Well, that explains why Gabe wasn’t a total jerk at the game.
The game?
Church baseball league.
Oh, right. Tuesdays?
You DO pay attention to me!
Sometimes.
We also practice on Sunday nights.
Oh, trust me, I know that now too.
Are you any good?
Kinda.
They’re going.
???
Sarah and Chloe. Which means Sarah’s new guy is probably on your team.
It’s all so ridiculous.
The entire world will be fine if we’re not all paired up like breeding stock.
There’s more to life than that.
Was it that bad?
You know Lexi’s still dating Dylan.
It’s good your hard work wasn’t in vain.
It’s not normally this bad. Normally we watch movies and Lexi will have some new craft project hobby thing she wants to get us all into.
One time we knitted and watched all the Twilight movies.
But you weren’t talking about anybody?
Uh, no.
Not even Francis??
Ha! How cliché!
Yes, I’m totally in love with Francis. He’s from Montreal. You wouldn’t know him.
He’s rich and good-looking.
Smells bookstores for me.
He’s so perfect he even laughs at all my jokes.
Not all your jokes
Imaginary boyfriends do!
God, they’d laugh at me so hard.
It doesn’t have to be Francis from Canada.
Plus, Lexi wouldn’t believe me.
She kept implying things.
???
Just ridiculous stuff.
So what did you do?
Nothing.
Sat there like a lump.
Pretended to laugh.
That sucks.
Yeah.
Girls are complicated
Guys have it so much easier.
Yeah, you can play Xbox and ignore your feelings.
Exactly!!!
I wish I were playing Xbox.
I could handle a classic fighting game right now.
Mortal Kombat?
More like Soulcalibur.
Have you played the new one yet?
A little. I’m not actually good, but it definitely beats taking sex quizzes online.
What did you do?
What I always do:
Lied.
Guessed.
Looked like a weirdo.
I can’t imagine you looking like a weirdo.
You’re not terribly creative.
You love it.
You look like a weirdo.