Sinful Sacrament

by Morgan James

  At the sound of the latch hitting the striker plate, Eva whirled toward me. She reared back, and a gasp left her mouth as one hand went to her heart, the other to the bed behind her for support. With my gaze locked on her face, I watched her eyes widen, the gamut of emotion flickering in those green irises mimicking those roiling in my stomach. It was like she couldn't believe that I was really here. Hell, I could barely believe it myself. Day after day, I’d dealt with crushing disappointment, no information and no leads as to where she gone. It felt like I'd waited forever for this moment.

  “Hello, Eva.”

  She blinked rapidly as if trying to determine that the words coming from my mouth were real, that I wasn't some apparition conjured up in her mind. “Fox?” she finally managed to croak out.

  A grim smile curved my mouth as I pushed off the wall and strode toward her. “Yes, Eva, it's me.”

  She took a step away, her hand tightening on the towel knotted around her chest. “Get the hell out of my house.”

  Such a fighter. I bit back the smile that sprang to my lips as I watched her, muscles tight with tension, eyes full of... hope? It’d always been this way between us; her going on the offensive, putting on a show of defiance even when she didn’t mean it. I slowly shook my head. “You don’t really want me to leave.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Why are you here? Why are you doing this?”

  I wanted so badly to reach for her, pull her into my arms. But I was still too keyed up. Part of me wanted to punish her for leaving the way she had. Ignoring her question, I opened my hand, palm up, holding the cufflink up for her inspection. “You kept it.”

  Her eyes dropped to my hand, then blinked before she met my gaze again. For a long moment, we stared at each other. Now that I was here, the anguish of the past seven weeks slipped away. It felt like just yesterday that I’d held her in my arms, kissed her sweet lips. I could still see her in my mind’s eye, clad in the green cocktail dress, her arms wrapped around me when I bared my soul to her. Of course, she didn't know that. She hadn't given me the chance.

  Her body trembled like she was ready to flee at any second. Her gaze darted toward the dresser on the opposite side of the room, but she couldn’t get dressed without me seeing her, and I sensed she wasn’t quite ready to risk that just yet. Besides, I liked her like this—bare, vulnerable. She had so many walls up to guard herself, and clothing would be another added layer of protection.

  “Why did you run?” I tried to control my voice, but I knew I failed when Eva's eyes narrowed.

  “Why the hell would you care?”

  Irritation flashed inside me, but I shoved it down. “Do you know how worried I was?”

  “Right,” she scoffed. “Worried that you wouldn’t have me at your beck and call anymore?”

  “Goddamn it, Eva.” I swore one of these days she was going to push me over the edge. “Tell me why the hell you ran.”

  “You lied to me.”

  “I—” I started, but she cut me off, eyes sparkling with anger.

  “You betrayed me in a way no one else has.”

  “You’re right,” I ground out. “I omitted the truth. But you should have come to me. You could have asked me, but instead you assumed the worst. You always do.”

  She cocked a brow, a challenging glint in her eyes. “Well, it was the truth, wasn’t it?”

  “No,” I snapped. “It wasn’t. You heard something you didn’t understand and chose to react based on one side of a story. But you’re missing half the information—my information.”

  “What else do I need to know? You knew about my father the entire time.” She threw an angry look my way. “Doesn’t sound like I’m missing anything except why the hell you felt the need to lie to me about it.”

  I stared at her. “It's not that simple.”

  Her mouth took on a bitter curve. “I was nothing more than a pawn to you—to both of you. You never cared about me.”

  I lunged forward, grabbing her wrists. “That's not true, and you know it. If I didn't care for you, I wouldn't be here right now. I would have let you go, content with the fact that you were away from that asshole of a father of yours.”

  “Why did you do it?” She yanked against me, but I refused to let her go. “He knew I was with you. And you took your anger for my father out on me.”

  She was right. “Eva, I—” Damn it. I knew I needed to tell her the truth, but I wasn't ready. I eased my hold on her wrists. “I never wanted to hurt you, angel.”

  Her eyes flamed with anger as she wrenched free. “That doesn’t change the fact that you lied to me!”

  “You’re right,” I bit out. “I did lie to you. And I swear to God, Eva, I would it all over again if it would keep you from being hurt.”

  She threw her hands in the air. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

  “I wanted to tell you. I just...” I raked one hand through my hair. “I just needed a little more time.”

  “So tell me now.”

  Her defiant little chin tilted upward, and a spark of something ran through me. “Damn it, Eva. Your father left you with me, and I took advantage of the situation. Can’t we just leave it at that?”

  “You came all this way to track me down and you expect me to just fall in line without any explanation at all—only because you tell me I need to? I don’t think so.”

  She spun away from me, and I grabbed one wrist to stop her. “Don’t.” She threw a mutinous look my way, and I sighed. Goddamn it. “Please. Just... sit. I’ll tell you what I can.”

  It took every ounce of willpower to release her. I slowly retreated, eyes on her the entire time as I settled on the mattress. Looking torn, she pulled the towel more tightly around her, then sat primly on the edge of the bed. She didn’t say a word, only fixed that intense green gaze on me, and I took a moment to order my thoughts before speaking. “I did what I thought was right at the time. I wanted to shield you from the truth.”

  She snorted a mirthless little laugh. “Whatever the truth is, I don't think I could trust you even if you told me.”

  I glared at her. “That’s exactly the problem. I lied to you because I couldn’t bear for you to know the truth—that your father had practically fucking handed you to me on a silver platter to save his own ass.”

  Her brow drew together, and she shook her head. “But... he told me you’d kill him if he tried to intervene.”

  The hurt in her voice cut through me like a knife. “That’s true—but not for the reason you think. He traded you in exchange for me relieving his debts.”

  Surprise and disappointment flickered in her eyes. “That doesn’t make sense. Debts for what? Why would daddy need money?”

  How the hell could William have fucked this up so badly? Fixing my gaze on the wall over her shoulder, I blew out a breath. “Your father’s business has been hemorrhaging money for the past couple of years, so much so that he’s ready to lose it.”

  I watched in my peripheral vision as my words sank in. Her mouth opened then closed again before she finally spoke. “And these debts... Did you loan him money?”

  Christ. I rubbed my temples with one hand and finally turned my gaze to her. “Yes, but it’s more complicated than that.” Her brow furrowed in confusion, and I continued. “Do you know what I do?”

  “You’ve never deigned to tell me, but I have my suspicions.”

  The challenging look she tossed my way made me want to pull her across my lap and spank the sass right out of her. I clenched my hand where it rested on my thigh, biting back the urge to paddle her ass red as I took a calming breath. “It took me a couple days to figure out who you were. Miranda—the woman who runs Noir—ran a background check on you.”

  “What’s Noir?” she interjected.

  “A club,” I said curtly, not wanting to explain.

  I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. With Eva, it never was. When an idea popped into that pretty little head of hers, she latched onto it like a dog with a bone.
Curious, bright green eyes cut into mine. “What kind of club?”

  Goddamn it. This was not at all how I’d planned for this to go. I exhaled deeply. “It caters to the BDSM community.”

  She jerked at the implication, and I spoke quickly before her mind could run away with her. “I own it—that’s the extent of it. I do not play or interact with any members beyond the necessary.”

  I could practically hear the wheels turning in her head as she processed that. “Is that... Do you... like that sort of thing?”

  “Not really, no.” Though I readily admitted the fact that I loved to dominate and control Eva, I wasn’t a true Dom. “I opened the club back before the scene really blew up because I was curious. I wanted to experiment. I’d never...”

  How the hell could I even begin to tell her everything that had molded me into the person I was? It took me years to deal with the shit I’d endured, and I had no intention of divulging that kind of horror to Eva just yet. I was trying to win her over, not send her running for the hills.

  I tried a different tack. “Remember how I told you I don’t like to touch or be touched?” She nodded, and I continued. “I was young and curious, but women in the real world weren’t exactly receptive when I approached them.”

  Her brows drew together. “Why?”

  This was a whole other issue I wasn’t quite ready to get into just yet. “I couldn’t touch them, so... I wore gloves.” There was no mistaking the mixture of surprise and confusion in her gaze, so I spoke quickly to head off any other questions. “At the club, no one judged. It was just another quirk, a strange idiosyncrasy.”

  She nodded a little at my explanation, but I knew it would come up again later. Her face twisted a little in something like revulsion. “And my father...?”

  “Does not belong to Noir.” I bit back a chuckle at the relief that flashed in her eyes. “That’s where my other dealings come into play. Beneath Noir is a room where I hold card games on weekends. It’s extremely lucrative and exclusive. Wealthy men and women come from all over to attend.”

  “Like an underground casino.” One dark brow rose toward her hairline. “Is that legal?”

  Not in the least. “The city council and I have an... understanding.”

  She closed her eyes briefly before meeting my gaze again. “So, what does my father have to do with all this? You mentioned something about Spencer before...” She trailed off, no doubt remembering one of the last times we’d spoken. “Were they trying to get you shut down?”

  “No.” I shook my head, not entirely sure how to tell her without hurting her further. “Your father first attended one of my games a couple of years ago. Unfortunately, his pride and arrogance outweighed his skill, and he ended up deeply in debt.”

  She turned a confused look on me. “I can’t... He...” I knew she wanted to deny it, but she couldn’t quite find the words, and I shook my head gently.

  “He was in far over his head and came to me for a loan. I obliged.”

  Her eyes narrowed on me. “You gave my father money when you knew he wouldn’t be able to pay it back?”

  I understood her anger, but I couldn’t take it back even if I wanted to. “It’s business, and it happened long before I even knew of you.”

  “Still,” she insisted. “What about the people who can’t pay you back? What do you do then?”

  “I don’t kill them, if that’s what you’re asking,” I said tartly. “Believe it or not, killing someone doesn’t exactly help me get my money back.”

  Her lips pressed into a firm line but she didn’t say anything, so I continued. “There are multiple forms of payment besides money. Information. Connections. Everyone eventually finds a way to settle their debt. Your father, though... He refused to tell his wife about his losses, and he was not in possession of any information I needed. When you showed up, I reached out to him.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose with my thumb and middle finger. “I threatened to keep you, and he... consented.”

  Her gaze darted away, but not before I saw the shimmer of moisture there. I still wasn’t sure precisely what William had told her that night. Obviously, she’d discovered that her father had known all along where she was but had chosen not to help her. It killed me to tell her the truth, but I owed her that much.

  “So,” she said, her voice breaking, “he traded me to you.”

  “In so many words,” I acknowledged. “Yes.”

  She gave her head a little shake and stared at her hands clasped in her lap. “I never thought...” She trailed off, then started again. “When we lost Elle, things changed so much. It was like this huge shadow fell over our house. But instead of bringing us together, it drove us all further apart. Daddy pulled away—probably gambling,” she said bitterly. “My mother turned her focus to her constituents, putting all of her effort into her campaigning. And I...” She bit her lower lip. “I felt... hollow. I was in school, but I lost my drive, my focus. I spent days in this fog of grief, just trying to survive. The weight of her loss settled over me until I couldn’t take it anymore.”

  She shifted slightly but stared off into space like she was looking back into the past. “Then one day I overheard Spencer talking to Daddy.”

  I wasn’t a fan of Eva’s father, William, but Spencer Masterson was a prick of the highest order. Had he not been a public figure I would have put him in the ground the day I discovered he’d lifted a hand to his wife. I wasn’t ready to say anything to Eva, though, so I swallowed down my reaction.

  “When he said your name, it was like something clicked.” She finally lifted her gaze to mine. “I knew exactly what I had to do.”

  “Revenge,” I said softly, and she nodded.

  “I... I had to do something. I couldn’t sit there and just watch her memory fade a day at a time. I wanted to punish someone.”

  I breathed deeply through my nose, recalling in perfect detail the moment I’d first seen her skulking through the trees behind my home. She’d come for revenge, needing to lash out at someone. “Me.”

  She nodded a little, looking lost and forlorn.

  “I would take the hurt away if I could.” For the first time in more than six weeks she was mere inches from me, and I wanted so badly to pull her against me. Through sheer force of will, I managed to clamp down on my control. She would come to me in her own time, on her own terms. And when she did, I would be right here waiting.

  Chapter Three

  Eva

  The events of the past few months lined up in startling clarity, sending a dagger of hurt spearing through my heart. I recalled those first couple of weeks in Fox’s home, cut off from the world, from my friends and family. Except, if what he said was true, he wasn’t the cause of it.

  I turned to him. “So, what about my apartment, my school work? Did you have anything to do with that?”

  He shook his head. “I assume your father arranged for your things to be packed up and taken home.”

  Even though he’d confirmed my suspicions, the knowledge still hurt. I could almost forgive him for trying to protect me as he’d said. But I wasn’t ready to let go of my anger just yet. I’d been in danger—we both had. And I wasn’t sure I could live like that. I needed something else to focus on besides my father’s betrayal.

  “So...” His brows lifted a millimeter, and I continued. “Tell me about this club you own.”

  The knowledge that he was involved in something like that had blindsided me. In retrospect, it probably shouldn’t have. Considering the way he craved control, it seemed like it would be a good venue for him. But the thought of him even being around other like-minded men and women made me uncomfortable. He swore he’d never slept with anyone else during the time we were together, but would the temptation eventually overcome whatever tenuous bond we’d constructed?

  He seemed to read the thousand questions in my mind, because he gently rubbed his temples. “As I said earlier, I haven’t slept with anyone but you since you showed up at my house. In fact, until
recently, my only interactions were with a friend I’ve known for years.”

  A friend? “What’s her name?”

  “Eva...”

  My name was a warning, but I couldn’t help it. “I need to know.”

  He sighed. “Her name is Marcella Levieva.”

  The name sounded familiar. “Isn’t she engaged to Sebastian Moreau?”

  A dark look crossed his face. “They’re not engaged.”

  “So you were fucking a woman under her boyfriend’s nose?” My voice rose several octaves, and Fox sent me a sharp look.

  “It’s not always black and white. They’ve been on-again, off-again for years.”

  “Because that makes it better,” I said sarcastically. I was seriously beginning to regret this conversation.

  “I can’t take back what I’ve done in the past,” Fox said, his tone low and deep. “But I promised you the truth.”

  He was right, but I continued to curse my own stupidity. I dropped my gaze to my hands and clenched them tightly in the fabric of the towel. “All right. And what does this have to do with the club?”

  “There’s something you don’t know about me.”

  Oh, God. I braced myself for whatever he was about to impart.

  “I have visions.”

  “Visions?” I snapped my head up to look at him, my gaze sweeping over his face. There wasn’t a hint of mirth in sight. “Like... premonitions?”

  “Sort of. You see the lines that cross my palm?” He held it up for my inspection, and I nodded. “We all have them, but I’m one of the unfortunate few who derives anything from touch. If I place my bare hands on someone’s skin, I can read what’s in their heart—the things they’ve done or plan to do.”