Sinful Sacrament

by Morgan James

  “Oh.” A myriad of thoughts flitted through my mind. How many times had he read my thoughts—my plans? The memory of my escape came back to me, along with a hundred other moments in time, and I felt my cheeks heat.

  His lips quirked. “There’s only ever been one person I’m not able to read.” He paused, his dark gaze boring into mine. “You.”

  “Me?” But... “Why?”

  “I don’t know. But you can’t imagine how... freeing it feels to be able to touch someone without being bombarded with flashes of images. Some call it a gift, but it’s more like a curse.”

  “I can’t even imagine,” I said slowly.

  He closed his eyes briefly, and a pained expression moved across his face. “Until I was in my mid-twenties, I’d never had a relationship with a woman. I didn’t know how to deal with my sexuality.”

  I felt rooted to my spot, frozen, completely unable to think, to move, to breathe. He hadn’t...? I opened my mouth to speak the dozens of questions forming on my tongue, but he shook his head.

  “Not now. Please.”

  Though I wanted so badly to press for answers, the quiet plea in his voice stopped me cold. I reluctantly backed down with a nod, and Fox steered the conversation back to the club. “I wasn’t able to touch anyone, but I needed to explore my needs. I wore gloves so I wouldn’t have to. And, in the club, it wasn’t out of place.” I nodded a little at his explanation. “I was trying to learn about myself, trying to just be... normal. But I figured out I didn’t exactly fit in there, either. I don’t really know how to explain it, but...”

  He trailed off, and I was silent for a long moment as I absorbed everything he’d told me. “You don’t have to justify it. I don’t know what you went through, and I can’t begin to imagine how it affected your life.”

  I was left with more questions than answers. I was more than a little irked that he’d kept such a huge part of himself hidden away from me, especially since I seemed to have no effect on him at all. Why hadn’t he opened up to me? His enemies would no doubt see it as a weakness, but did his men know of his affliction? Almost surely, since they worked with him every day. The knowledge that he felt he couldn’t trust me with that information stung.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “So you own a sex club. But that doesn’t explain why someone shot up your house.”

  Fox’s lips pressed into a thin line as he regarded me. “The men and women I’ve been looking for are incredibly evil. Human trafficking is a very lucrative venture, and the people involved don’t take kindly to having their business disrupted.”

  I flinched at the cold, lifeless tone of his voice but was unable to tear my gaze away as his hands moved to the buttons of his shirt. While he spoke, he began to free them from their holes, one by one. “I was adopted when I was six. The man who took me in lived on a secluded estate with no neighbors, no one to run to for help.”

  Oh, God. The way he said that sent my heart beating furiously, and my lungs felt tight as I tried to draw in a breath. I watched, rooted to my spot, as he shrugged the shirt off his shoulders and allowed it to slip down his arms. “What—What did...?”

  I couldn’t form the words, but I didn’t need to. Fox already knew exactly what I was asking. He turned, and the sight of the scars there stole my breath, stopped my heart. Silvery-pink lines crisscrossed his dark skin from beneath the waistband of his pants all the way up to his shoulders. He’d told me that his childhood hadn’t been good, but I’d never expected this. Why hadn’t I seen them before? How—?

  A barrage of memories slammed into me, and I saw every prior interaction in perfect hindsight. I’d touched his hands, his face... but never his back. He’d never let me close enough. The knowledge that he’d kept this from me, coupled with the revelation of his visions, was like a stake had been driven through my chest. There was so much about this man that I didn’t know—that he wouldn’t let me see.

  I forced my heart to harden even as I wanted to break down and cry. “Is that supposed to make me pity you?”

  He slowly rotated, meeting my gaze and reading straight into the depths of my soul. “I would never ask for your pity—only your understanding. The man who raised me was only one of the men involved. Once he was gone, I vowed that I would bring down the entire operation.”

  It made so much sense—the secrecy, the danger. But that only made me vacillate more. This would be a never-ending quest for justice. These men were wealthy and incredibly well-connected, and Fox was the only thing standing between them and their prey. They wouldn’t hesitate to take him down. They’d already tried—how much longer could he evade them? We’d been lucky to survive the first time. I couldn’t bear to see him hurt, let alone die before my very eyes.

  I cleared my throat, swallowing down my conflicting emotions. “I admire what you’re trying to do. I think it’s very noble, but I can’t...” My words trailed off as he took a step toward me. “What are you doing?”

  “I’ve waited almost two months for this moment. You have no idea how relieved I felt when I finally found you. I’ve come all this way, Eva—for you.” He stopped right in front of me, so close that I could feel the tips of his shoes touching my toes. Everything inside me tightened at his nearness, and I curled my toes into the carpet as his mesmerizing dark eyes bored into mine. “Tell me you don’t want me.”

  I tightened my arms around my waist. I couldn’t very well lie to him. He could read every emotion in my soul. Deciding that silence was the best course of action, I lifted my chin and stared at him.

  A tiny smile quirked his mouth. “You belong with me.”

  Anger flared, hot and fierce. “I don’t belong to anyone.”

  “I said you belong with me, not to me,” he corrected as he lifted one hand and stroked my cheek. “I want you, Eva, and I know you want me.”

  “No.” I jumped up from the bed and stomped away, crossing my arms over my middle as if it would help to contain the swirling mass of confusing emotions within.

  “Come here.”

  There really wasn’t anywhere I could go. I turned and glared at him, notching my chin up.

  “Come. Here.” Each word was slow and deliberate, and my body ached to heed his command. My heart throbbed in my chest as I fought the magnetic pull between us. His eyes fixed on mine, he stared deep into my soul, reading my every thought.

  No longer able to deny him, I threw my arms up. “Why?”

  “Because I told you to.”

  “Go fuck yourself.”

  “Watch your mouth,” he snapped, but I saw the glint in his eyes—he knew my heart wasn’t in it.

  My need for him trumped my anger, and it’d been so long since I’d felt his hands on me. “You won't touch me,” I taunted.

  “Careful, Eva,” he warned. “I am about two seconds from pulling you over my lap and spanking that pretty ass red.”

  “I’m not yours to punish,” I shot back.

  “You will always be mine.” Faster than I could react, he grabbed the corner of the towel where it was knotted against my chest and ripped it from my body, then flung it to the ground. Wrapping one hand around my wrist, he tugged me over his lap and into position. His erection was a thick, hard ridge pressing up through the material of his slacks, and a little thrill ran through me. Right here—this was where I belonged.

  His hand coasted over my bottom, the firm pressure unlocking something inside me. A shiver of need worked its way down my spine. It'd been too long.

  “You ran away from me, Eva.” Fox’s voice floated over my shoulder. “You left me without a single word. You need to be punished.”

  One hand squeezed my ass roughly, and I drew in a sharp breath at the spike of need it sent through me. I’d been in the wrong for running away; I would gladly accept responsibility for that. “I was counting on it.”

  Even though I was prepared for it, the hard blow still caught me off guard, and I flinched. The sting of pain radiated outward, turning to a simmering pleasure. I shif
ted on his lap, pushing my hips upward, welcoming the next stinging slap. He alternated between cheeks until it felt as if I were on fire, both inside and out.

  His touch brought tears to my eyes and they slipped free, running down my temples and into my damp hair. I cried as he spanked me, allowing the pent-up emotion of the last two months to leave my body in a cathartic cleansing. With Fox here, I felt whole again. I’d missed him so much it hurt.

  With each swat, the negative emotions left my body, and my world began to right itself. When it was over, he levered me to my feet, then turned me to face him. Standing between his knees, tears cutting tracks down my cheeks, I stared at him. He seemed to know exactly what I was feeling, because his huge hands lifted to cup my face, and those dark eyes stared at me for what felt like an eternity as his thumbs swept gently along my cheeks, mopping up the last of my tears.

  “Don't ever run from me again, Eva. I couldn't stand it.”

  At his words, it felt as if a dam inside me had broken. I threw my arms around his shoulders, burying my face in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me so I straddled his lap. I was still angry, but right now, I was just so damn relieved to see him. “I missed you. Every single day. I...” I cut off with a small sob, and his arms tightened around me, holding me close.

  “I know, angel. I know.”

  The connection between us was palpable, and I could no longer deny the desire I felt for him the second I saw him standing by the door waiting for me. I turned my head and spoke against the base of his throat, my lips brushing his pulse point. “I need you.”

  We struggled out of our clothes, and a moment later fell to the bed together in a tangled heap. There was no need for foreplay, only the burning desire to have each other right that second. He kissed me hard, a brutal claiming of my body and soul. One hand moved between us, testing my entrance to see if I was ready for him. He let out a little growl as his fingers slid through my slick folds. A moment later, the broad, hard head of him was there, pushing inside and filling me up, stealing my breath and my heart in one swift motion.

  Chapter Four

  Fox

  Coming home.

  That was the only way I could explain the way it felt to be back with Eva. The sharp claws of anxiety that had clutched relentlessly at my throat for the past seven weeks loosened their hold, and I could finally breathe again. I reveled in rightness of the feeling, all of me inside all of her. She was back in my arms, and the gaping chasm in my chest began to fuse together once more.

  For the first time since we’d met, Eva and I were both completely bared—stripped of clothing and insecurities and any lies that had once lain between us. Eyes locked on hers, I pulled out and rolled my hips, plunging back inside her hot channel. I never wanted this feeling to end. I wanted to draw it out for hours, days, never let her go again.

  I dipped my head and kissed her, my tongue sweeping over hers as I thrust in and out. Her legs curled around mine, and her heels dug into the back of my thighs, urging me closer, deeper. Her hands slid from my biceps down to my ribs, and my breath stilted as she swept them around me, her fingers skimming over the gnarled flesh of my scars. I froze momentarily, and a shudder rolled down my spine. I felt incredibly vulnerable and exposed... Yet with Eva’s hands on me, the pain of the past finally began to recede, leaving only her and me in this moment.

  I kissed her hard, hoping she could feel the depth of the emotion neither of us were ready to admit just yet. Coasting one hand down her body, I slipped my arm beneath her left leg and lifted it over my shoulder, opening her to me. Her back arched as I plunged inside, sinking deeper than before, and her fingers curled into my flesh as she held on for dear life.

  “Oh, God...”

  “Christ, Eva...”

  Our words mingled together as we panted hard, our skin slick with sweat, need and desire driving us higher and higher until her inner muscles began to contract. I picked up the pace, pushing her over the edge, and she let out a stifled cry as she buried her head in the crook of my neck. Sheer bliss took over and I let go, pulsing two months’ worth of emotions deep inside her.

  My body shook, and I fought to hold myself upright. But Eva was having none of it. Arms and legs still wrapped around me she tightened her hold, and I gladly gave in to the need to hold her and be held. Rolling to my back, I kept her wound around me, our bodies pressed so close I could feel the rapid rise and fall of her chest with each breath she took.

  For what seemed like forever we lay there quietly, the only sound our combined breaths leaving in shallow pants. It had always been this way between us. Carnal need, unquenchable desire. But there was still so much broken between us, and I didn't know if we could ever fix it.

  “How’s your side?” Her hand tentatively swept along the ribs on the right side of my body, checking the old injury.

  I caught her hand and lifted it to my mouth, then kissed her fingers. “Like it never happened.”

  She nodded and was silent for several seconds, seemingly lost in thought. “How did you find me, anyway?”

  A bittersweet smile curved my mouth. “Did you really think I was just going to let you go?”

  She lifted one shoulder where she still lay draped over my chest. “I actually was kind of surprised you didn’t get to me faster. I waited for several days when I got here, watching over my shoulder, but you never showed up.”

  I couldn’t see her face from where we were positioned, but I thought I heard a trace of sadness in her voice. “Were you disappointed?”

  She was silent for nearly a minute. “I don’t know. Maybe. I... After Rodrigo told me to go, I began to think that maybe you really believed it was for the best.”

  The reminder sent another surge of anger through me. “He’s lucky to be alive.”

  She propped her chin on her hand and turned her head so she could look at me. “He was just trying to protect you. He thought I was distracting you from everything you’ve been working so hard for.”

  “Those assholes have been around since long before I was born, and more will take their place after I die. But there’s only one of you. I swear, I was ready to tear the whole city apart before we finally caught wind of where you might have gone.”

  Her brows drew together. “Did someone see me?”

  “An informant of Johnson’s happened to be at the gas station the night you left. He saw a woman in a dress getting into a truck, and once he heard who I was looking for, he came forward. Told us the truck had a faded four-leaf clover on the side, so we tracked it down.”

  Her eyes widened and she lifted her head to better see me. “You didn’t...?”

  I was already shaking my head. “I ran his name, but I never spoke with him. We discovered from dispatch records that his next stop was in Omaha, so we checked it out. There weren’t too many places in between where he could stop without throwing off his schedule, so I guessed that you would take the most direct route to a place as far away as possible.”

  She gave a little nod and settled back onto my chest. “I just... It was so much to process. It’s still a lot to process.”

  “I know.” I sifted my fingers through her long pale hair. “I should have told you. I just couldn’t bear to see you hurt, especially after everything you’d already been through.”

  She peered at me. “I would have stayed with you. All you had to do was ask.”

  “Each minute with you was a gift. I didn't deserve you then, and I don't deserve you now, but I can't let you go.”

  A myriad of emotions flickered in her eyes. “I just... I don’t know how we can move on from this.”

  “You were scared, and I understand that. Araña was lashing out after I’d intercepted a shipment intended for some of his buyers. I put you in danger, and that was unforgivable. But I promise, Eva, I won’t let that happen again.” I needed to convince her to give me another chance. I’d told her once that I wasn’t responsible for Elle’s death, and I hadn’t been lying. B
ut I think she seriously had her doubts. “The night we went shopping for your gown... I told you I wanted to take you away. Do you remember that?”

  She tipped her head slightly, a turbulent expression in her eyes. Of course she remembered it; it was one of the last times I’d seen her, right before she’d run away. She nodded slightly.

  There was so much about my life that she didn’t know, and she would never just take my word for it. She needed to see things for herself to truly understand and believe. “I have a home on a small island in the Caribbean. I wanted to take you there months ago—come with me now.”

  “What?”

  “We’ll leave tonight.” She blinked owlishly, and I grabbed one hand. “Trust me, Eva. I want to show you something.”

  Chapter Five

  Eva

  I was caught between wanting to laugh and cry. It was everything I’d dreamed of hearing two months ago. But now? I had no idea. So much had happened since then. I sat up a little and stared down at him, conflicted. “What is it?”

  He dragged his fingers lightly up and down my arm. “I can’t tell you. Some things you just need to see for yourself.”

  What the hell did that mean? My irritation rose to the surface again. “That’s cryptic as hell. I don’t understand why you refuse to tell me.”

  He smiled a little. “That would ruin my plans for you.”

  Doubt began to creep in, overshadowing the relief and happiness from only moments ago. Regret for falling right back into my old habits rose up like a tidal wave. I refused to go back and be some trophy for him to bring out and parade around on his arm whenever the hell he felt like it. Sex had always clouded the issue with us, and I was no longer certain that this was the right thing to do. “I can’t just leave. I have a job here.”

  “You work in a bar.” He rolled his eyes, and my temper flared.

  “It’s still a responsibility. Have you ever done anything for yourself, or do you just throw orders around and expect people to follow them?”