Healing Hearts 12: Road to Happiness

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  “Have fun. See you Friday,” Cindy said.

  She felt the hand at her lower back as they guided her toward the exit and then out into the blazing sun. She closed her eyes and absorbed the heat from the rays hit her cheeks.

  “You okay?” Cliff asked her, and she opened her eyes and nodded.

  “I’ve been inside for the last ten hours and in air conditioning. It’s so beautiful outside, and warm.” Cliff tugged on her white nursing uniform.

  “You’re going to be hot in this,” he said.

  “I have a tank top underneath. I’ll be fine,” she said.

  They walked the two blocks to the luncheonette known for great chicken Caesar salad as well as stuffed chicken cordon bleu meatballs. When the hostess met them, she asked if they wanted inside or outside.

  Ace looked at her. “Outside, right?” he asked, and she nodded.

  They wound up at a private little table to the right of the dock. She sat in the middle, and the feel of their thick thighs pressing against hers made her body overheat. They order sweet tea, and she knew she needed to take off the jacket she wore. She started to undo it and shift when both men assisted her. The tank top lowered, revealing more of her breasts than she otherwise would have intended. She quickly adjusted it as Ace took the jacket and placed it on the empty chair next to him.

  “Better?” Ace asked.

  “Yes, thank you. So, Cliff, are you happy about getting the stitches out?” she asked him, going for casual conversation and again on a comfortable subject, one where she could act professional.

  She inhaled as his palm pressed over her knee and up her thigh.

  He stared into her eyes. “I’m happy I got to see you again and learned the truth. That Dr. Ford isn’t competition.”

  “Cliff,” she said and lowered her eyes as Ace placed his arm over the back of her chair. He slid his thumb back and forth against her skin, giving her goosebumps and making her nipples harden.

  Cliff squeezed her thigh gently. His hand felt huge against her body. They were so intimidating.

  “You’re shaking again,” Cliff whispered. “Why?” he asked, squinting at her.

  “You’re both so big and capable. It’s intimidating, and I don’t make it a habit of letting men kiss me or act possessive of me in public. It’s unnerving.”

  “Well then, you’ll need to get used to us being, and acting, possessive of you. Like I mentioned earlier, these last three weeks were torture for me. Thinking I couldn’t ask you out, couldn’t kiss you, get a taste of you.” It shocked her, but she also felt her pussy spasm from his words.

  “He was hell to live with. We’ve all been in crappy moods since you lied to us about being involved with another man,” Ace added.

  She felt terrible. “I’m sorry. I’m not good that this.”

  “Just be honest and it will work out fine. It’s that simple,” Cliff said to her.

  Ace continued to stroke her neck and leaned closer.

  “Do you like when we kiss you?” Ace asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Thank God,” Cliff said, and they chuckled. She did, too.

  She worried her bottom lip as the waitress came over to take their order. Neither man moved from their position.

  “How long have you been a nurse?” Ace asked her. He kept his arm where it was, but Cliff moved his hand. She felt the loss of his touch, and if she weren’t so freaking scared, she would take his hand and place it back onto her thigh.

  “Four years. I was actually hired on at the urgent care facility to do X-Rays and things about a year or so ago, but then they needed more experienced nurses as the place got busier with patients.”

  “Did you always want to be a nurse?” Cliff asked her, then took a sip of his ice tea.

  She got quiet and thought about her intentions of medical school and becoming a doctor or at minimum a nurse practitioner, but then Charles had come into her life.

  “I was supposed to go to med school,” she said and then drank from the glass of her sweet tea.

  “Really? What happened?” Ace asked.

  “Unexpected events in life. Anyway, it took me long enough to achieve this and get my certifications. I took on training for reading X-rays and doing sonograms because the pay was good and at places like the ER or urgent care it meant I was more valuable.”

  “That makes sense,” Cliff replied.

  “Unexpected events? Like what has you so fearful of us? Of getting close to us?” Ace asked.

  She lowered her head, but he gave her ponytail a little tug. She looked up at him.

  “Okay, too early in the relationship for such a deep conversation. How about making plans? You’re off tomorrow right?” he asked, and she squinted at him.

  “Cindy,” Cliff said, and she was shocked.

  “She told you?”

  “Yup.”

  “Why would she do that when she wanted to ask you guys out?”

  “Because we told her we were interested in you,” Ace said and then lowered down and pressed his lips to hers. Cliff caressed her knee and thigh, and oh boy, she was in serious trouble here.

  * * * *

  When they were finished with lunch, Ace took her hand as Cliff kept his hand against her lower back, guiding her as they walked. He could feel her tense up. She was a stunning young woman. If he didn’t know better, hadn’t gotten the warning that something bad happened in her life to make her fearful, he would think she was too young, too shy, and maybe not good for them. The thing was that these feelings he had—this attraction that he out of all his brothers was so resistant to entertaining—now ruled his every thought. He wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to hold her in his arms, kiss her lips some more, and even explore her sexy body.

  When they got to the old car that looked like it had seen better days, he was concerned.

  “This is your car?” he asked.

  She pulled from both of them and then ran her palm along the hood of it.

  “Good old Bruce,” she said and smiled.

  He glanced at Cliff, whose expression mimicked how Ace felt. Concerned.

  “Is it reliable?” Cliff asked.

  “He’s a bit temperamental, but it’s nothing a little oil under the hood doesn’t fix. We’ve been through a lot. He got me here from—”

  She stopped talking and then opened her door and put her jacket in the car.

  Cliff took her hand and pulled her into his arms. She held onto his forearms and tilted her head way back. Her blond hair in the ponytail hung loose, causing some stray strands of gold to hang softly by her cheeks and neck. Her baby blue eyes widened, and Cliff raised one of his eyebrows up at her.

  “Bruce got you here from where?”

  She hesitated, and that concerned Ace.

  “Connecticut.”

  Cliff stepped his feet apart a little and slid one palm up to her neck under her hair and the other low on her waist, nearly over her ass.

  “How long ago was that?”

  “Two years,” she replied.

  “You’ve known Jo and Melina for a year though, right?”

  She nodded.

  “Is Connecticut where the bad things happened?”

  She stared at him, and Ace moved closer. He caressed her hair, and she looked up at Ace. “Go on and answer,” he said to her.

  “Yes.”

  “Are you still in danger now?” Ace asked.

  “I’d rather not answer that.”

  “Oh, no, no, no, that is not the right answer,” Ace said and tugged on her ponytail and then gave her a wink. If they pushed too much, she would close up. He could tell that right away.

  “Too many bad things have been happening around Mercy and Sussex lately. Maybe something else bad could be avoided if we knew about it sooner,” Cliff told her.

  “There’s nothing to tell. If you can’t accept that, then let’s not bother getting together again. It won’t work out.” She started to pull back.

  “The hell it won�
�t,” Cliff said and drew her against his chest and kissed her until she was limp in his arms and accepting to the plans for spending the day together tomorrow.

  * * * *

  After her shower, Amber called her therapist, Kiana.

  “Well, this is wonderful news. You’ve been saying you’re ready for months now,” Kiana told her.

  “Saying it and doing it are two different things.”

  Kiana chuckled. “We talked about the fears and about taking things slow.”

  “They kissed me,” Amber whispered as she pressed her fingertips to her lips. She could still feel it. Could remember what it felt like to be held by them. To inhale their cologne. To feel their strong arms around her and know she was safe. That alone freaked her out. She didn’t trust anyone. She didn’t feel safe with anyone. She did alone well. She trusted herself.

  “Okay, so slow them down if they’re moving too fast.”

  “They’re like fifteen years older than me, Kiana.”

  “Mature, seasoned men who know what a woman wants, needs, and desires, and they aren’t in a rush to just go to bed.”

  “I felt in a rush to. My mind jumped right past meeting them, feeling the attraction, hanging out with them, and went to thoughts of having sex with them. I don’t think I can handle it. Especially as I thought about the things Charles did to me. The fact that he was in the military like them. How he controlled me. Abused me, and of course the chamber. God, Kiana. I could panic and make a mess of things. I’m not normal. I never will be.”

  “You’re jumping the gun. We’ve talked about this for months and worked it out. Thought of all the scenarios. They are good men. They sound like they are willing to take their time, and they are Jo’s brothers. I’m sure their decision to pursue you didn’t come easy,” Kiana said to her.

  “They are men. Of course it came easy. They want sex. They kiss me, and I feel it, too. I don’t think I can tell them about Charles or about what happened to me. It could ruin everything, could make them view me differently.”

  “You don’t need to tell them right away, but in order for you to feel comfortable, you may need to mention what happened, perhaps without going into great detail, so that they take their time. If they are good men, which from my understanding, knowing so many people in the area, they are good men, then they will take their time. You can’t assume they won’t and therefore not give them a chance.”

  “Grrr.” Amber growled and then fell to the couch with the phone to her ear.

  “I felt so much. Was scared, turned on, and then intimidated. Ace is like the leader of all of them, and Cliff could be just as demanding and commanding. Today was with two of them, but there are five, Kiana. Five outspoken, fierce, seasoned men who could eat me up alive and spit me out.”

  “That isn’t going to happen. What if you slowly spend time with them? Maybe not all five at once at first?”

  “I thought about that, but then I felt guilty and also would miss the others. It wouldn’t be right. If I do this, I can’t risk pushing the others away or making them feel unwelcome. Plus, they would pick up on my fears and then really wonder what happened to me. It isn’t fair. Maybe I need to stop this. Maybe five men at once isn’t a good idea.”

  “We don’t have control over these things, Amber. An attraction happens, and ménages are very common. I actually think this is a good type of relationship for you. These men may have had experiences of their own that have hardened their hearts or made them feel vulnerable to feeling an attraction. You don’t know. You have to go by the way they make you feel.”

  “Alone, they each affect me. Together, they are a force I didn’t see coming. I would never have expected to grab such men’s attention. My friends all had fears, and they accepted their men and all the possessiveness and protectiveness they have. I don’t think I can.”

  “Is that what you’re worried about, as well? The possessiveness and control?”

  “I’m not sure. I mean, I can see them being very protective and getting jealous, but I got jealous when Cindy wanted to flirt with them. I wouldn’t flirt with other men to anger them, though.”

  “Just remember that the relationship and the situation with Charles was forced, and it was different, not typical at all. Do not use his demands, his controlling ways as an understanding of being in a relationship. You were a prisoner. He forced things on you—beliefs, ideas, rules, and of course his body. He broke you down to make you feel weak. He used sex as a weapon, rape to control you, to force you to succumb to his demands. You aren’t weak anymore, Amber. You’re stronger than ever. Remember that. You’re in control. You say when. You say with who, and you say how.”

  She exhaled. “I hear your words. I feel their power, and I believe, deep inside that I’m ready and that I deserve to be loved, but then comes his voice in my head. The fear can never be forgotten. The pain, the control, his actions, and his threats are alive in my mind, and it’s like it’s easier to just be alone and accept that as my life. Under the influence of drugs, I don’t remember what he did, what he exposed me to, and the fear of not knowing makes me feel like I may not be good enough for these men. They deserve better.”

  “No, Amber. You can’t think like that. Look at what you’ve accomplished. You’re a survivor, and survivors look forward, not backward. They live on. They fight and continue to fight for the things they want. For the futures they want. For love, for freedom, for safety. You are not alone, though, and you, your spirit, your will to live on after such abuse was not so you could be alone, but was so you could touch people’s lives. Help those in need like you love to do. Sometimes it’s better to not think, but to just feel. You’ve overcome the idea of remaining distant and not feeling, and look where it has brought you. You’re helping people at the urgent care facility. You achieved your degree, your certification while being abused, and after surviving. You’ve made wonderful friends and are a member of this community. People see you, acknowledge you, greet you with smiles and kindness because that is how you treat them. That is the person you are. Charles did not take that away from you. Charles did not destroy your spirit or your will to live and to be a survivor. Follow your heart, Amber. Be honest with them, and ask them to be honest with you. Sometimes fate has a way of stepping in, even when your mind and your fears try to sidetrack your destiny. You’re a strong, beautiful, independent woman, and no one can ever take those things away from you but you.”

  Chapter 6

  We can pick you up at your place and head out to the boat launch and use the wave runners. Then maybe go to lunch at Gordon’s, have some drinks, and relax.

  Cliff was practically shaking he was so nervous. He and his brothers discussed Amber for hours last night, wondering what could have happened in her life that caused such fear. The little hints and the way they asked questions had Cliff and Ace believing that a man hurt her. They discussed how that made them feel. Considering what happened to their own sister, they were angry and affected by the many possibilities going through their heads. If she were a victim, a survivor, then she was taking a chance on them. It was only fair to be honest, to go slow, and to be sure they wanted that chance. That led to a discussion on sharing her, on how beautiful, smart, and sweet she was, and of course the protection she would need being that beautiful and petite.

  Amber made heads turn. She showed such emotion in her eyes, and she touched him deeper than any woman, any person had before, and all he did was steal a few kisses, and a few hugs.

  His phone beeped, and he looked back down at it.

  I’ve never been on a wave runner. Is it hard? Will I have my own?

  Was she afraid to share one? To be so close to one of them?

  It’s not hard. We’ll teach you and then take a little ride along the water where you’ll be safe. What do you say? 11:00 a.m. good? I’ll pick you up?

  God, his heart was racing. This was fucking ridiculous. As he thought about that, he knew this was different, that this wasn’t just a woman he wante
d to screw, and that asking her out, as a team, meant something entirely different. It meant they were taking a chance on a ménage relationship. On sharing one woman and making her theirs. That was what this was about. That was what Amber made them all feel. He glanced at Ace, Corona, and Briar. Danny was working on something and would meet up with them later.

  “I feel like I’m in fucking high school. This is bullshit,” he said on an exhale.

  “If she doesn’t want to go, then she doesn’t want to go. There isn’t anything we can do about it. It’s obvious she doesn’t date and must have a good reason,” Ace said.

  “We need to be careful and see if we can get some information on what happened to her to make her so fearful,” Briar said.

  “Or we just take our time and let things happened. She’ll tell us eventually if this relationship is going to work,” Ace added.

  The phone beeped.

  His chest tightened.

  Sounds like fun. I can meet you at the marina. Which one? See you at 11:00 a.m.

  He felt a little disappointed about not being able to pick her up. He wanted it to be a date. A first date, so she would get used to them. It seemed she didn’t want them to know where she lived. They did though. He had looked it up last night, preparing if her response would be a yes to going out with them. He knew it would take approximately eleven minutes to get to her house and seven minutes to get to the marina and boat launch. It was how he did things. It kept him on his toes and in military mode, somewhat.

  “She’s going to meet us at eleven,” he said to his brothers and typed the marina and address into the text and sent it along. She acknowledged receipt of it, and he blew out a long breath, placed the phone onto the kitchen island and leaned back against the chair.

  “Doesn’t want us picking her up?” Briar asked.

  “Could be she doesn’t want us to know where she lives,” Ace said.

  “Could be to stay in control, so she doesn’t feel trapped in one place. That could go along with being on guard, staying prepared in case something goes wrong. She would be trapped with us and no escape, no alternative means of leaving if she is scared or wants to end the date,” Cliff said.