Deeper We Fall

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  “They may be jerks, but they’re still your family,” Will said after one bio class. Now that he knew my secret, he’d decided I wasn’t a heartless asshole and we’d sort of become friends, which I was relieved about. Will and Charlotte were a package deal.

  “I know. I just… I can’t deal with them right now.”

  “It’s okay,” Charlotte said, and I put my arm around her. I loved being able to touch her all the time.

  “Sooo… Audrey and I were wondering if you would like to maybe go out,” Will said.

  “Are you together now?” I said.

  Charlotte answered for him.

  “They’re taking it slow, right Will?”

  He rubbed his head as if he had a headache. “I hate that you know everything without me having to tell you.”

  “Twindar,” she said, tapping her forehead. “It doesn’t lie.”

  “I’m in,” I said. “What about you?”

  “Double date with my brother? I guess so. As long as I get to tell the story about that time –”

  Will shoved his hand over her mouth.

  “Just kidding,” she said, peeling his hand away. “I want you to be with Audrey, so I’m not going to do anything to sabotage it.”

  “Why don’t I believe you?”

  My phone went off again. Zack.

  “He’s called me about twelve times today and left me a million messages.”

  “Have you listened to them?” Charlotte said.

  “No. I’ve been deleting them.”

  “Maybe you should call him. What if something’s wrong?” Will said. “I mean, more wrong than it already is.”

  I took a deep breath before hitting Send on Zack’s number. I walked away from Charlotte and Will to a corner where I had some privacy. I was going to make this a quick conversation.

  “What do you want Zack?” I said before he could cut in.

  “Oh now you answer your fucking phone.” He was drunk. Really, really drunk. I wasn’t surprised in the slightest.

  “Where are you?”

  “Nowhere.” I heard him take a swig from a bottle.

  “Does Mom know where you are?”

  I could feel Charlotte and Will’s eyes on me. So much for making this a quick conversation. “She’s at work and Steve’s off plotting things with my lawyer. How’s school? You and Hottie still fucking each other’s brains out?”

  If he would have been standing in front of me, I would have punched him. I had to take a long deep breath before I could say anything normal.

  “So, you looking at any prison time?”

  He scoffed. “Why do you care?”

  “I don’t. I’m just asking.”

  “Who the fuck cares? It doesn’t matter anymore. I lost her, I lost my scholarship, I lost everything.”

  No, he didn’t lose it. He threw it away.

  “You’re not driving, are you?”

  He started laughing.

  “Why, you going to come down here and drive me into a ditch again? Get some more scars?”

  He was pushing every single one of my buttons.

  “You shouldn’t be driving.”

  “You shouldn’t be judging.”

  I was about to throw the phone and punch something when I felt a hand on my arm. I couldn’t see Charlotte’s face, but I could feel her concern.

  “Hey, everything okay?”

  “Hey Hottie,” Zack yelled in my ear. I put my hand over the phone.

  “It’s Zack. He’s drunk and alone. I’m pretty sure he’s been driving too.”

  “You’ve got to do something,” she said, her fingers digging into my skin. “This time you can do something.” I met her eyes and she nodded. “He’s still your brother, no matter what.”

  I put the phone to my ear again. Zack was singing again.

  “Where are you?” I said.

  “I don’t know. I just parked somewhere.”

  “What’s around you?”

  He groaned, as if it was hard to move.

  “Stupid park sign. Something about a duck.” He must be at Wood Duck Park. It wasn’t that far from our house.

  “Stay where you are, Zack. Just stay there.” I hung up and dialed 9-1-1. They asked the location of my emergency and I told them. I added that my brother was drunk and a danger to himself. No doubt he was going to get arrested, but it was better to have him in jail than dead.

  While I gave the information to the operator, Charlotte held onto me. After giving the operator all the information I could, I hung up and called my mother.

  “Zan, where have you been? Why haven’t you called?”

  I was going to keep it short and to the point. “Zack’s drunk at Wood Duck Park. He called me and I called the police.”

  “Oh my God. We took his keys away, but he must have found them.” I didn’t bother to say anything about how he had a spare set. If Zack wanted to drive, he was going to drive. I heard her shuffling with things.

  “I’m going over there right now. Why didn’t you call me first?”

  “Because they can get there quicker.”

  “I can’t believe this is happening again,” she said to herself as I heard her calling to her co-workers that she had an emergency.

  “Mom?”

  “Yes?” Her car door slammed and she stared her car.

  “I’m sorry that I didn’t call you back.”

  “It’s okay, it’s okay.” She wasn’t really listening, but I was going to say it anyway.

  “I love you. Let me know what happens.”

  “Love you too.” She hung up and I assumed it was to call Steve.

  “Everything okay?” Charlotte said.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

  ***

  For the second time in a month, Zack got arrested. This time, I didn’t think he was going to be able to dig his way out of it. I’d talked to Mom afterwards and she’d said that they’d made the decision that if the court didn’t send him to rehab or prison, they were going to do it.

  “I know I’ve let it go on too long, but he was always doing so well, and I just didn’t know.” She knew. She just chose to pretend not to.

  Steve was devastated, according to Mom. I hadn’t talked with him, but it didn’t take a genius to know that he would be upset that his golden boy had fallen from the pedestal Steve had put him on.

  I hadn’t talked to Zack, but I’d left him a message saying that I was sorry, but he’d given me no choice. He hadn’t called me back.

  “You did the right thing. Even though it feels like shit right now,” Charlotte said as we did homework on my floor. She was right, it did feel like shit.

  “How is it that I can feel bad about turning him in? After everything?” I asked her.

  She got up and sat on my lap. “Because he’s your brother and you love him. You always will, no matter what he does. Because when you love, Zan Parker, you go all the way.”

  “I’m not the only one,” I said and she held my face like I held hers.

  “I’m so glad we found our way to each other,” she said, before giving me one slow, sweet kiss. It was an always kiss.

  Chapter Forty-one

  Lottie

  “Take another step. Okay, stop.” There was a scarf tied over my eyes and Zan was leading me towards something. It had been several weeks since Zack had gotten arrested again, and things had finally gotten good again. More than good.

  Zan and I spent almost every moment we could together, Katie and Stryker were…whatever they were. I finally had enough money for a car, Will and Audrey were tentatively dating and Trish and I were still soul sisters. Even Simon had found love in the form of Brady, the treasurer of the GSA. Somehow, after everything falling apart, we’d put it back together again.

  “You better not be leading me to the edge of a cliff.”

  “Never, pretty girl,” he said softly in my ear. “If you’re going off a cliff, I’m going with you.” He kissed my neck and I kind of wanted to say
screw the surprise, but I was painfully curious.

  “Can I see now?” His hands untied the blindfold, and I had to blink for a moment to let my eyes to adjust to the brightness.

  “What do you think?” He stepped in front of me and held his arms out. Parked in the middle of the student lot was an adorable little red vintage car. Just the kind of thing that someone would travel across the country in a last-minute road trip in. Or use as a getaway car.

  “What is it?”

  He leaned against the car. “A 1970 Datsun.”

  “And who is it for?” I said, knowing the answer. This was so not happening.

  He grinned like a little boy. “It’s for you. An early Birthmas present.”

  “You got me a car?” There was even a little tiny bow on the roof.

  “Well, technically it’s yours, but I reserve the right to drive it on every other date. Deal?”

  I crossed my arms. “You did not get me a car.”

  He came forward and put his arms around me. “Stryker helped. And Katie and Trish and Will and Simon. So you can pretty much blame all of them, if you want to blame anyone. Except I made sure it was red. It had to be red.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, but he did that thing where he kissed me to shut me up.

  “You have to stop doing that.”

  He put his hands on both sides of my face and I stared into his deep dark eyes. “Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?”

  I smiled and bit his bottom lip. “No, never.”

  He laughed and broke the kiss.

  “You can come out now,” he called over his shoulder before grinning at me.

  “What—” I started to say, but my question was answered when Audrey, Will, Trish, Stryker, Simon and Katie popped up from behind some of the other cars.

  “Surprise!” They yelled, not quite in unison.

  “I told you, we should have practiced more,” Simon said as he came to sweep me up into a hug. “They never listen to me. At least Brady lets me wear the pants.”

  “I should be mad at all of you,” I said, pointing at each and every one of them.

  “She’s not mad,” Will said, his arm slung around Audrey. “I can tell.”

  “Twindar,” they all said, which made everyone laugh.

  “Now why couldn’t we coordinate the surprise?” Simon grumbled.

  “You guys didn’t have to get me a car,” I said, moving toward the driver’s side door. Zan stepped forward and held the keys up.

  “But we did,” he said, taking my hand and putting the keys in my palm. “You deserve it, pretty girl. You deserve the moon.”

  “Yeah, yeah, we get it,” Trish said, rolling her eyes. “Look, if you don’t want it, I’ll take it.” She dived for the keys, but I dodged her and hid behind Zan.

  “No fair, hiding behind the boyfriend,” she said, trying to get around Zan, who shadowed her every move.

  “You’re just jealous,” Stryker said, glancing at Katie. I’d never seen Katie smile or laugh as much as she had since they’d started hanging out. And given the circumstances, that was huge.

  “Whatever,” Trish mumbled.

  “So,” I said to lessen the tension, “who wants to take the first ride?”

  Trish raised her hand, but Will grabbed her arm and shoved it down.

  “I think the lovebirds should take the first spin,” he said. “Don’t you? I mean, it’s what would happen in a Nicholas Sparks book, right?”

  Trish’s eyes went wide and we all laughed.

  “Who told you?” she said.

  “On that note,” I said, going for the door of the car as Trish glared at Audrey in accusation. “Zan?”

  He opened the door for me and handed me in before going and getting in himself. I waved, but everyone was busy teasing Trish. Poor thing.

  “You ready to go?”

  “Ready when you are,” he said, kissing the back of my hand before reaching for something in the backseat. “Oh, look at that. It’s a banjo.”

  I laughed as I put the car in first gear and pulled away from my weird, loud, silly adoptive family. I had a little trouble finding the right spot with the clutch, but I didn’t stall it as I drove away from campus and headed for the highway.

  Zan started strumming the banjo and I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel. He’d finally learned how to play ‘I Will Wait’ by Mumford and Sons and he was very pleased with himself. I hummed along.

  “Where are we going?” he said, as if just noticing that we were on the highway.

  “That is for me to know and you to find out. Tit for tat, sir.” It was only fair that I got to take him on a random road trip. The last one had turned out pretty well.

  “I had a feeling you’d say that,” he said, putting the banjo aside and reaching into the back again and coming up with a paper bag.

  “Your Pop Tart, my lady.”

  “You brought emergency Pop Tarts and an emergency banjo? You knew I was going to do this, didn’t you?”

  “Maybe. Maybe I just hoped you would.” He pulled out one of the Pop Tarts and handed it to me. It was still warm.

  “You hoped right. I thought we should get away, even if it’s for a few hours. Give me your phone,” I said, holding my hand out after shoving the Pop Tart in my mouth. I took the phone and turned it off before shoving it into the glove box. I took mine and did the same.

  “There. Now it’s just the two of us. No brothers or intrusions. Just us.” He grabbed my Pop Tart and broke a piece off for himself.

  “You know that is not going to last. They will find a way to find us. At least my brother is in jail right now.”

  “So Steve’s not going to bail him out?”

  “Not this time. He said Zack has made his bed so he’s going to have to lie in it.”

  “It’s a miracle!” I said, moving so he couldn’t go for another bite of Pop Tart. “Stop stealing my Pop Tart. Get back to your banjo.”

  “Tell me where we’re going,” he said, picking up his banjo again.

  I shook my head. “Not a chance. I’m in charge of this trip.”

  Here is a special sneak peek at Faster We Burn, a companion novel to Deeper We Fall, coming Spring/Summer of 2013!

  The last thing Katie Hallman needs is another guy in her life, but Stryker Grant is there anyway. What starts out as just an escape from her previous relationship disaster soon turns into something more. Stryker gets under her skin the way no one has before, and soon she realizes she can’t shake him, even if she wanted to. But is Katie ready to trust her already-battered heart to the guy who could shatter it into a million pieces?

  Chapter One

  The first time I saw Stryker Grant, I told myself that I wasn’t attracted to him. Between the pierced lip and eyebrow, his torn (not on purpose) jeans, and his bleached hair, he was the opposite of every guy I’d ever wanted. Plus, he was dressed as a vampire, fake fangs and all.

  My boyfriend Zack and I were on again, and I was enjoying being in the center of so much activity, so much life. Then Zack did what he always did and pushed it too far. In the middle of a crowded Halloween party, no less.

  Stryker was there quicker than you could say ‘damsel in distress.’ I totally had Zack handled, but Stryker wouldn’t let it go.

  Then there was the whole drama of Zan getting Zack home, and everyone fussing over me like I was five. Even without the fake fangs, I didn’t see it.

  It wasn’t until he showed up at my door the next day, wanting his stupid vampire cape that he’d given me the night before when I was cold.

  “Here,” I said, shoving it at him. He took it, but didn’t leave. Audrey had finally gotten me out of the pink dress and into my sweats, and I wasn’t in the mood to entertain.

  “Listen,” he said, and I knew where this was going. I was going to put a stop to it before anything happened. He chewed the side of his lip where the ring was.

  “Look, you saved me, you made sure I didn’t freeze to death, congratula
tions. You can go now.” I moved to shut the door in his face, but he put his arm out to stop me.

  “That wasn’t what I was going to say.” He put his foot in the doorway, and leaned into the room. “What I was going to say is that you’re an idiot.” He folded the cape over his arm.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. I said you’re. An. Idiot.” He enunciated each word and leaned closer to me until our faces were only separated by a few inches. For the first time, I saw that his eyes were green. How had I not noticed that before?

  “And what makes you qualified to say that? You don’t even know me.” Seriously, who did he think he was?

  “I may not know you, specifically, but I’ve known you before. The girl who has what everyone thinks is this perfect pink life. The girl who spends her life trying to be something she’s not. The girl who’s barely hanging on. You’re an idiot because you think that you can keep it up, and you’re an idiot to think that you have to.”

  “Whatever.” I tried to shove the door closed again, but he was still in my way. “If you don’t leave, I’m going to scream.”

  He held up his hands and backed away.

  “I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know, sweetheart.” The way he said ‘sweetheart’ pissed me off.

  He pivoted on his heel.

  “See you around,” he said with a wave over his shoulder.

  “Never would be too soon,” I yelled at his back. I could still hear the sound of his laughter even after I’d slammed the door.

  The last thing I needed in my life was another guy. Especially one that said I was an idiot.

  But, of course, that was exactly why I opened my door and dashed down the stairs until I found him in the lobby, leaning against the wall beside the door to the stairs. As if he had been waiting for me.

  He was messing with his lip ring again, but other than that, he was all swagger.

  “Is this never?” he said, raising his pierced eyebrow.

  I shook my head.

  “You’re wrong. About me. I’m not pretending to be anything.”