Unscripted Desires

by Lawson, Cassandra

“Why would you do that?” she demanded. “This is a great opportunity.”

  “And Gemma refuses to move with me, so I wanted to pass on it,” I explained. “She clearly doesn’t love me as much as I love her. She refuses to let me pass on the job, and she refuses to come with me.”

  “So she ended things because of this job?” Tamara demanded.

  “We ended things,” I corrected her.

  “It doesn’t sound to me like that’s what you wanted,” she remarked. “Listen, Ben, I care a lot about you. You’re more than just my client.”

  “I know, Tamara,” I replied. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m going to be fine.”

  “Have you been drinking?” she asked.

  “Nope,” I replied. “I’m not about to make that mistake again.”

  “I’m going to have my assistant arrange a flight out to New York,” she announced.

  I chuckled, surprised I could still laugh when it felt like my heart was being ripped to shreds. “It means a lot to me that you want to fly out to take care of me, but you really don’t have to do that. I need to go.”

  “All right,” she agreed. “We’ll talk more about this later.”

  “Okay,” I replied before ending the call.

  As I boarded my flight, I felt even more of a sense of finality. My marriage was over.

  Chapter 56

  Gemma

  I was exhausted, no surprise, with this being my first semester of college. The commute was a nightmare since I got out of my last class of the day just before five. I ended up packed onto a train with a bunch of cranky commuters. I’d also gained about ten pounds from eating takeout.

  “Are you about done with your paper?” Tucker asked from the door to my bedroom.

  “No, but I’m ready for a break,” I replied as I stretched my arms above my head. “Why did I think college would be less exhausting than working full time?”

  “Because it’s been too many years since you were in school,” he replied. “I will never forget the nightmares of my school days.”

  “Yet you still got an advanced degree,” I remarked.

  “I like proving I’m smarter than everyone around me,” he joked, though there was a lot of truth in what he’d said.

  I looked at the time and felt a stab of sadness. “Ben’s show is on in a few minutes. This was the first episode with his character.”

  As if I didn’t miss Ben enough, I’d heard his voice in several ads for his show. I kept telling myself I needed to stop looking at those ads and avoid anything to do with Ben Morrison, but I couldn’t; I loved him, and I wanted to see him succeed. I was still hurt and a little angry by his refusal to try to make things work. It had been six weeks since he’d left, and I hadn’t received divorce papers yet, so I still held a small kernel of hope he’d change his mind. I was starting to feel like an idiot.

  “We should grab dinner and then see a movie,” Tucker announced.

  “Really?” I asked. “Is there a reason you decided we should do this at nearly eight in the evening?”

  He shrugged. “The idea just came to me.”

  “Could it have anything to do with the television line up for tonight?” I asked.

  “You don’t need to watch his show,” he replied. “You’ve been through enough already, and it’s going to hurt you more.”

  “I’m going to watch Ben’s show,” I stated. “Yes, it’s going to hurt, but I can’t exactly pretend Ben doesn’t exist. There are plenty of people at school who know we’re married.”

  “What have you told them about your marriage?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” I admitted. “I’m not ready to admit it’s over to everyone, not even myself some days.”

  “We should go out,” he insisted.

  “I’m watching Ben’s show, and then we can grab tacos.”

  “Tacos again?” he asked. “Didn’t you have tacos for lunch?”

  “Hey! Don’t start knocking tacos. They are amazing. One could live on tacos.”

  “And you are doing your best to prove that theory,” he stated. “If you’re sure you want to watch this show, then I’ll watch it with you.”

  “Okay,” I replied. “We can order tacos to eat while we watch the show.”

  “Is it that time of the month?” he asked.

  “Are you saying I’m bitchy?” I asked.

  “It’s the tacos that are throwing me off,” he explained. “You seem to be craving them a lot, and you usually only have these kinds of cravings around your period.”

  “You know far too much about my reproductive cycle,” I muttered. “But here’s something you don’t know.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I haven’t had a period since I married Ben.”

  Tucker gasped.

  I laughed before explaining myself. “I’ve been skipping the placebo week and starting my new pill pack early. It seemed like a good idea since I was newly married, and now it’s been nice skipping my periods with my crazy new schedule.”

  Tucker frowned. “Should you go this long without a period?”

  “Maybe it’s time for me to get back on my regular pill schedule. This could be part of the reason I’ve been so tired and moody.”

  “That’s not it, sweetie. You’re tired because you’ve been through too much, and you’re working your little ass off,” he replied.

  “That’s why I deserve tacos,” I said with a smile.

  Tucker laughed. “This is all a ploy to get me to agree to tacos again, isn’t it?”

  “Did it work?” I asked as I stood.

  He slipped an arm around my shoulders and led me toward the living room. “Tacos, it is.”

  Chapter 57

  Gemma

  Ben’s show was great, and I’d even enjoyed hearing his voice again. I hadn’t enjoyed all the questions from my classmates who watched Married in Three Days. I’d spent the last week at school avoiding answering questions about my relationships with Ben. I wasn’t allowed to give away any spoilers, so I just told people they’d find out soon enough when the show aired.

  It was a Saturday night, and I was finally unpacking all of my belongings from when I’d stayed with Ben. I’d left too much stuff sitting in suitcases in the corner since my return to the condo.

  “There it is!” I said as I found my missing pill pack tucked inside a purse I hadn’t used in several weeks. “Why did I put this in there?” I frowned when I looked at it closer. “Tuesday?”

  “Did you say something?” Tucker asked as he passed my open bedroom door.

  “Nothing,” I replied quickly.

  Tucker knows me far too well, so he didn’t buy it. He stepped into the room and looked at the pill pack. “What are you so worried about? You haven’t fooled around with anyone since Ben left. Unless you had some guy over without telling me.”

  “No dates and no fooling around,” I told him.

  “Then there’s nothing to worry about,” he stated.

  “I don’t know when I skipped these pills,” I began hesitantly. “Ugh! I can’t believe I messed up this badly. It was a Sunday when I realized this pill pack was missing, so I figured it made sense to start a new one. This is a lot of pills to miss.”

  “Shit,” Tucker muttered. “You’re pregnant? Are you sure?”

  “No, I can’t be.” I shook my head. “I’m worrying over nothing. We used a condom every time.”

  Tucker nodded. “You’re right. There’s no reason to panic.”

  “Right,” I agreed. “No reason to panic. I should really stop taking my pills for a couple of weeks to get my schedule back on track.”

  “Maybe we should get a test to be on the safe side,” Tucker suggested.

  “Why get a test? I don’t have any symptoms.”

  “You’ve been extremely tired,” he pointed out.

  “Because my heart is broken, and I’m a busy college student,” I reminded him.

  Tucker slipped an arm around my shoulders. “You do
have a lot going on.”

  With a sigh, I leaned into his side. “I started to panic for a minute. I don’t know what I’d do if I was pregnant.”

  “You’d tell Ben and work something out.” I didn’t have to look over to know he was rolling his eyes.

  “Of course, I’d tell him. I’m not some bitch who’d keep it a secret.”

  “And if he refused to help you, we could always get married and claim the baby was mine,” he announced.

  I giggled. “No one would ever believe we’d had sex.”

  “I can do straight,” he insisted.

  “I’m sure you can, but you’re still like a brother to me,” I told him.

  “Sorry things didn’t work out with Ben,” he whispered as he pulled me closer. “I thought you were a good couple.”

  “So did I,” I said with a sad sigh. “We’re too different.”

  “No, you’re not,” he argued. “He’s just an asshole. I’m glad he didn’t get you pregnant.”

  “Because you don’t want to become Uncle Tucker?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “I kind of like the idea of being Uncle Tucker when the time is right.”

  “I’m not sure I could handle the single mom life,” I admitted.

  “You could,” he insisted. “First, you have an amazing best friend. Second, you can do anything you put your mind to.”

  “Thanks, Tucker,” I told him. “How about if we order something to eat and stay up late watching movies?”

  Tucker laughed as he released me. “You mean order tacos, and then you fall asleep watching movies?”

  “Of course,” I replied. “It’s our thing.”

  Tucker hesitated.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “I have a date, but I can reschedule,” he offered.

  “You have a date, and you didn’t tell me?” I smacked his arm.

  “I was about to before I found you stressing about your birth control.”

  “You will not cancel. Tell me all about him while you get ready,” I insisted. Hearing about my friend’s love life seemed a lot better than dwelling on my nonexistent one.

  Chapter 58

  Ben

  My schedule for filming was more grueling than my last tour, and it was a good thing. Working so hard that all I could do was drop at the end of the day, I had less time to think about Gemma. She hadn’t called or texted me since we’d parted ways, and I’d continued to give her space.

  “Are you still brooding over your television bride?” Tamara asked. She’d flown out to meet with my attorney regarding contracts for the next season.

  “She hasn’t called,” I muttered.

  Tamara rolled her eyes. “If you want to talk to Gemma, call her.”

  “It’s not that simple,” I argued. “She’s the one who decided she didn’t want to come with me to New York.”

  “And now you’re all butt-hurt,” she replied. “Don’t give me any crap about her saying you shouldn’t talk. She wants to be with you, so you should try to make it work.”

  “Yeah,” I admitted with a sigh. “Fine, I’ll text her.”

  “Or you could call her,” she suggested.

  “Texting is better,” I argued. “It doesn’t put any pressure on her if she isn’t in the mood to talk to me. Maybe she’s glad I’m out of her life.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Idiot.”

  Pulling out my phone, I stared at the screen for several minutes.

  “Mr. Morrison!”

  I turned at the sound of my name outside the door. “Yeah.”

  “They’re ready to start recording.”

  “I’ll be right out,” I promised before typing a quick text to Gemma.

  Ben: I was just thinking about you. How have you been?

  I frowned when I looked at the message. That sounded lame, so I erased it and started from scratch.

  Ben: I miss you. Can I call you? I’m going to a recording session now, but I want to talk to you. It’s important.

  “Mr. Morrison?” the voice on the other side of the door called out again.

  “Coming!” I shouted back before sending the text and setting my phone down.

  Four hours later, I checked my phone, hoping to see a text from Gemma. Much to my disappointment, if not my surprise, there was no response.

  Chapter 59

  Gemma

  It had been nearly two months since I’d last spoken to Ben. I’d considered calling him, but I’d decided against it. He was the one who’d said we couldn’t work things out unless I followed him to New York. I missed him, but I was trying to get on with my life. Today, I was working on getting my hormones back under control.

  My doctor walked into the room and greeted me with a bright smile. “How are you feeling, Gemma?”

  “Better than when I made this appointment,” I told her. “I’ve been going through a rough patch.”

  She gave me a sympathetic smile and nodded her understanding. “I’ve been watching the show. Since you don’t have your wedding ring on, I assume things didn’t work out.”

  “Sorry for the spoiler,” I told her. “We aren’t supposed to talk about it.”

  “I promise to keep this between us,” she assured me as she looked down at the chart. “You want to change your birth control, right?”

  I nodded. “I skipped the placebos so I wouldn’t have my period during filming, and then it took a while to come back. Now, my hormones are out of whack.”

  “Out of whack how?” she asked.

  “I’ve had headaches and cramps when I shouldn’t. My period was light. I was getting a weird metallic taste for a few weeks, but that’s gone.”

  “Any nausea?” she asked.

  I shook my head.

  “Breast tenderness?” she asked.

  “Not anymore, but they were hurting for a while,” I told her. “I guess my hormones are leveling out.”

  “Did you miss any pills while you were sexually active?” she asked.

  “A few, but Ben used condoms the whole time,” I assured her.

  She nodded. “What you described could mean we need to change your birth control, but I want to do a pregnancy test first.”

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Some of your symptoms could be related to pregnancy,” she explained.

  “I guess it makes sense to do a test,” I reluctantly agreed.

  She sent me off to the bathroom to pee in a cup, and then I had to wait. I’ve seen the commercials, so I knew it should only take a few minutes. To pass the time, and because I was starting to stress a little, I texted Tucker.

  Gemma: They’re doing a pregnancy test. Tell me I have no reason to worry.

  Tucker didn’t delay in responding.

  Tucker: WTAF? Didn’t I tell you to take one before? I’ll be there soon.

  Gemma: You can’t just leave work to come to my doctor’s office.

  He didn’t respond, likely because he was already racing toward his car.

  “Great,” I muttered. It seemed I’d have Tucker barging in on my appointment soon.

  Fifteen minutes later, a nurse peeked her head in and apologized for the delay. They were just now going to test my pee. Did they not understand this was something they should do immediately? It could be a good sign that they’d waited so long. Maybe they didn’t think it was at all likely to be positive.

  A few minutes later, I heard Tucker’s voice from the reception area. “I am the uncle of that woman’s child!”

  Not surprisingly, he was in my room shortly after that. He took a deep breath to compose himself. “Did you get the results back?” he asked in a gentle voice.

  “Not yet,” I replied.

  “Why not?” he demanded loudly. “I’ve seen the commercials. You should know in less time than it takes to hard boil an egg. They need to tell us now.”

  My doctor returned and smiled at Tucker. “I thought I heard your voice.”

  “I hated missing her appointment,” he told my doctor.
>
  “You are far too involved with my life,” I accused with no heat.

  “Not involved enough,” he muttered. “I stopped reminding you to take your pills, and now you’re dealing with all of this stress.” His attention returned to my doctor. “Is she pregnant?”

  My doctor looked at me.

  “It’s okay to answer with Tucker in here,” I assured her.

  “You are pregnant,” she replied. “I’d like to schedule your next appointment and get you a referral for an ultrasound to pinpoint the due date.”

  She continued talking as the blood pounded in my ears. Pregnant? I was suddenly glad Tucker was there since I seemed incapable of focusing on what my doctor said.

  I’d just started school. And Ben! My God! I hadn’t heard from him since he’d moved. How would he react to this news?

  Tucker touched my arm, waiting to speak until I looked at him. “You know this is going to be okay, right?”

  “I know,” I assured him. “Everything is going to be fine. There’s absolutely no reason to worry about a thing. It’s not as if I don’t have a good support system. I have you, Jade, and even Remi. My sister married a billionaire, so I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to support this baby and me. I can squat with them. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

  When I stopped speaking, I realized that my doctor and Tucker were both watching me with a great deal of concern. That’s what happens when you keep saying you’re fine while your voice is shaking.

  Tucker took care of scheduling my next appointment before ushering me out of the office. When I looked over, I saw him fighting back a smile.

  “Why are you so happy?” I asked. “You are the one who told me you didn’t want to become Uncle Tucker too early.”

  He shrugged as we reached the sidewalk. “It doesn’t feel too early. I know you’re worried about how Ben will react. He’ll change his mind about the divorce after he hears this news.”

  I frowned. “I don’t want him to change his mind because of the news.”

  “You still have to tell him.”

  “I’m going to tell him,” I assured Tucker. “He has a right to know what’s going on, but I’m not looking at this as a way to win him back. The reasons Ben left haven’t changed. I’m not going to move to New York because I’m pregnant.”