Love Me Always

by Peyton Banks

  To some, Leon may seem like a nerdy film buff, but to me, he was the sexiest man to walk the earth. I watched him go from a skinny little boy to a handsome young man on the brink of living his dreams. He wore his hair cut low in a Caesar. His skin was a flawless blend of espresso and cream. But his best feature was his smile. It made my heart flutter every time he smiled at me, which was often. The added bonus was his glasses. I just loved a man in glasses. It made him look as intelligent as he was. I used to tower over him when we were younger, but when puberty kicked in so did his height. Now at 6’2” he towered over my 5’10” frame.

  “Babe, if you could do anything you wanted, you know your ultimate dream, what would it be?”

  He looked at me with such a serious face that I sat up from my relaxed position on the couch and straightened my shirt. Fluffing my hair back out, I thought about his question.

  “Hmm… well, if it could be anything, I would have to say move to New York and attend film school at NYU. I would like to have my own production company and produce a ton of movies honoring black love. Maybe even develop a television show focusing on the same subject.”

  “Damn, I never knew you wanted to move to New York. You never told me.”

  “I never told anyone because I am too chicken shit to do it. If I thought for one moment that it was possible, I would jump at the chance. Of course, I would drag you and Shante with me because who wants to navigate that city alone?”

  “I would love to live in the big city! Get out of the south and really stretch my acting chops. Maybe take some workshops and really put myself out there.”

  “Yeah, that sounds good,” I added. “But I know I would never have the nerve to do it. I love my family, and my mom would hate it if I left the south to pursue, what she calls pipe dreams. She would have a fit. Shoot, I think my dad would move with me, too afraid of what would happen to me on the cold dangerous streets of New York. His words, not mine.”

  We laughed, knowing that is exactly what my dad would say.

  “Yeah, your pops is a maniac when it comes to living up north. He really has some trauma from his days living there. I still don’t know how you convinced him to let you move out of the house when you went to college.”

  “I would still be living with my parents if it hadn’t been for Auntie Chan. She fought hard to get both of my parents to agree to let me live in the dorms. You would have thought I was asking to live in Tent City or something. Thank God, Auntie worked her magic.”

  “How did she get them to say yes?”

  “The only way they agreed to it was because Shante was going to be my roommate. If it had been a stranger, there would be no way they would have agreed. I would still be in my old room looking at my barrage of Michael Jackson posters that covered the walls.”

  “Michael Jackson? You never told me you had him on your wall!”

  “You never asked. Plus, I didn’t go around asking you who was on your bedroom walls. I know you had some nasty ass girls with their asses hanging out.”

  “Yeah, I did. I’m not even gonna lie, but Michael Jackson?”

  “Don’t judge me. I love Michael. End of story.”

  “Whatever you say, babe. Now, moon walk that ass over here and give me a kiss.”

  “Oh, just for that, you can kick rocks. I’m not kissing you till you give me a ‘hee hee’.”

  Leon’s face was priceless. Once he got over the shock he started laughing. Then he tackled me onto the couch with his body covering mine. He started pecking sweet kisses all over my face while I pretended to hate it. As I struggled against his embrace, turning my face away so he couldn’t kiss my lips, he began to sing.

  “Kiss me, baby, hee, hee!”

  I couldn’t help but fall into a fit of laughter. Leon was so stupid. I finally gave in to the inferno raging inside me that could only be doused one way.

  “Mmm, baby. If you don’t stop we are going to be late to your mom’s for dinner.”

  “Ma will just have to understand. I can’t stop now. Astrid, I need you.”

  The way he said my name did something to me. In that moment all my resistance fell away. He could have anything he wanted. Right there on the sofa in the apartment he shared with his best friend Stewart, we had a hot quickie that left my toes curling and my voice raw from screaming his name.

  By the time we arrived at his mom’s, dinner was cold, which was an improvement I am sure. His mother always insisted on cooking for us, but the woman could not burn with a box of matches. Her food was horrible, but for Leon, I put up with Monday night dinners at his parents’ house. Mrs. Coltrane could not be trusted to host Sunday dinner, so we always went to my parents for that. Mondays were a better fit for her. Horrible day and even worse food

  “Leon, I was expecting you all at six o’clock for dinner. Now it is all ruined! What took you so long?”

  “Sorry, Ma, something came up unexpectantly.”

  What he said was innocent enough, but the look on his face gave him away. I looked anywhere except at Mrs. Coltrane. I was not about to make eye contact with that lady after the nasty stuff her son just did to me. Of course, I made sure we showered after, which led to more sex in the shower. My hair had gotten wet, and I was forced to put it in a bun on top of my head. I still looked cute, but anyone who paid attention to me would know what happened. I never wore my hair up like that.

  Just as I thought we might get away with it, Leon’s best friend chimed in. He must have come straight there from work.

  “Mrs. Coltrane, I apologize for my tardiness again. When I went home to change, I was going to take a shower, but there was no hot water. Your son and his girlfriend used it all.”

  I just about melted into the floor when his mother turned her curious eyes to me and asked, “Astrid, why were you taking a shower at the boys’ apartment?”

  My ability to think fast on my feet had me answering her, but I could feel my face grow hot with embarrassment. I was going to murder, death kill Stewart. He did that on purpose. Just because he wasn’t getting any, didn’t mean he had to blow our spot up. Damn.

  “Oh, Mrs. Coltrane, I was working out and had gotten all sweaty. I didn’t think you would want me showing up for dinner like that, so I took a quick shower. Sorry there wasn’t any hot water, Stewy. I thought you were working.”

  I shot him a quick glare before plastering a fake ass smile on my face. His mother bought the explanation, but when I made eye contact with his dad he snickered and said under his breath, “I bet that was some workout. It left you glowing.”

  Oh my goodness. Kill me now!

  2

  Astrid

  “Girl, I bet you anything tonight is the night Leon proposes. He’s taking you to that fancy restaurant you love so much, he’s been blowing your phone up with texts, and he sent you a romantic playlist. Plus, I heard from his boy that he is gearing up to make big moves. This has to be it. Y’all have been together since high school!”

  I looked at my cousin, Shante with hope in my eyes. Could this finally be the night I had been dreaming about? Leon and I were a match made in heaven. He was the calm to my wild. He was the salt to my sugar. He was the water to my fire. Total opposites, but totally in sync. We didn’t make any sense without the other.

  “Don’t go filling her head with pipe dreams. You don’t know if that boy is proposing. Hell, it’s been seven years and he hasn’t put a ring on it. What makes tonight so special?”

  My mom was right. She always had a way of pouring cold water on my otherwise pristine parade. Why would Leon propose tonight? It wasn’t my birthday or a holiday. There was absolutely nothing special about today. Just another day in the neighborhood. But what if that was the point? It would be a great way to surprise me. Oh, I didn’t know who to listen to, so I tuned them both out, popped my wireless earbuds in my ears and listened to the playlist my man sent me. I didn’t need the negative distraction while I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup. I needed to look perfect just i
n case tonight was the night.

  When Leon rang the doorbell, I was a nervous wreck. Unable to contain my energy, I checked my outfit in the mirror. My dress was the perfect shade of yellow. It made my mocha skin gleam in the light. My long tresses hung perfectly over my shoulders, and my face was beat for the gods! Sniffing my pits to see if I was sure, I rushed to the door like a maniac.

  “Hold on now! You know I raised you better than that. Let him wait the standard ten seconds, and I will open the door. You go back to your room and don’t come out until I call you.”

  “But, mom, this is my apartment.”

  “Did I ask you that? Do what I told you. Go on.”

  Grumbling under my breath, I rushed back to my room and listened from my door to see what my mom was going to say to Leon. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why she disliked him so much. I strained to hear the conversation before my cousin Shante came up behind me, scaring the bejesus out of me.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  I must have jumped a mile in the air before landing on her foot, crushing her pinky toe.

  “Ouch! That hurt, Astrid.”

  “You shouldn’t be sneaking up on people. That’s what you get.”

  “Eeew, I can’t stand your ass sometimes.”

  “Don’t be mad at me because your little prank backfired. Plus, I don’t have time for your shenanigans. I may be getting engaged!”

  We jumped around like we did when we were little girls without a care in the world. Our bliss was soon interrupted by the bellowing voice of Christine Satterfield, aka, Mom.

  “Astrid, your young man is here to take you out. Don’t keep the man waiting. Though this jacket he’s wearing looks like he’s been waiting since the seventies.”

  Shante and I looked at each other and cracked up laughing. My mom was always jonesing on Leon and his fashions. She did not understand the way he dressed, even though he was one of the most fashion forward men I knew. While we were laughing my nose caught the hint of something sour in the air, prompting me to breathe into my cupped hand to check my breath. Minty fresh, must be Shante. I flipped her a piece of Double Mint on my way out of the room, laughing at the annoyed look on her face. Just as I thought I had made a clean getaway she yelled, “Bye, Ashy!” I was going to kill her when I got home. She knew how much I hated that childhood nickname.

  Leon’s cologne permeated the room like a warm caress. He always managed to smell delicious no matter the time of day or night. It was his calling card, and I was a siren beholden to his call. As I entered the room, I saw my mom rolling her eyes at him. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked him up and down.

  “Just where are you taking my daughter tonight?”

  “Mrs. Satterfield, Astrid and I are going to dinner. I need to discuss something very important with her.”

  “Don’t you think you need to discuss it with her father and me before talking to her?”

  “No, ma’am. Why would I do that?”

  “That’s what I’m talking about, Astrid.” My mom turned to me with fire in her eyes. “You young people have no respect for your elders. Young man,” she turned back to Leon, “if it pertains to my daughter’s future, then her parents need to know.”

  Oh, my goodness! My mom was not going to ruin my big night. I marched over to where she was berating my future fiancé and stood between them with my back facing her. Lifting my arms, I pulled Leon in for a sweet kiss, effectively silencing my mom.

  “Good night, Mom. Get home safely. I’ll call you in the morning.”

  With that I took my man by the hand and led him out of my apartment, my mom’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. I would definitely be hearing about this tomorrow. As we approached his midnight black Nissan Sentra, Leon stepped forward and opened the passenger door for me. Always a gentleman, at least with me. Plus that door always popped back open whenever I tried to close it. I watched him walk behind the car and look in through the rear window. I made a big show of leaning over and unlocking the driver’s door so he could get in. It was a little game we played ever since we watched that old school movie with Robert De Niro and Chaz Palminteri.

  “Yea, I always knew you were one of the great ones,” Leon said as he settled into his car seat.

  “As far as you’re concerned, I am the only one!”

  I laughed as I buckled my seat belt. My humor was not contagious though. This weird look came over Leon’s face, and the temperature in the car turned iceberg. Hmm, that was weird, but I chalked it up to nerves. Did he think I knew he was proposing tonight? I needed to be more careful with my words. I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. I leaned over the seat and kissed his cheek, which seemed to break him out of his thoughts. The smile he gave me was bright, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Okay, this is getting strange.

  We rode in silence toward my favorite restaurant in the city. The anticipation was killing me, so I flipped on the radio, a big no-no in Leon’s car.

  “Did you just turn on my radio? Girl, you better be glad I love your beautiful ass, or you would be walking.”

  He reached up and turned it back off.

  “So, you’re saying you would make me walk for turning on the radio?”

  “Oh, for sure.”

  “You got issues, Leon.”

  “Say what you want, just don’t touch my radio without asking.”

  “Whatever! So, Mr. Coltrane, would it be alright if I turned on your radio?”

  I spied him from the corner of my eye as my hand shot to push the button, turning on his radio without waiting for a response. I snagged his remote from the center console and started flipping channels like a mad woman. I knew this drove him crazy, and I wanted to have a little fun with him.

  “Astrid, what are you doing? You didn’t even wait for me to respond.”

  “You said I had to ask first. You didn’t say anything about waiting for a response.”

  A small smile turned up on the corner of his lips as I made an ugly face and poked my tongue out at him. He couldn’t resist the laugh that was trying to seep out. He started laughing and shaking his head at me.

  “I swear you are one crazy woman.”

  “That’s why you love me.”

  “It’s one of many reasons why I love you, Astrid.”

  We were sitting at a red light and he turned to look at me with such longing in his eyes that I almost told him to forget the restaurant and take me to his place. Then I remembered the proposal and clamped my mouth shut. I almost talked myself out of my drawers and a ring. What was I thinking? We arrived at Ciro’s Italian Café in the next minute. It was a small place that didn’t look like much on the outside, but the interior was upscale and always offered a fine dining experience. I loved eating there, as was evident by the entire staff and I being on a first name basis.

  “Good evening, Astrid, and Leon! How are you this evening?” Mrs. Cybil Leto the co-owner greeted us like she did almost every time we went there to eat.

  “Hi Mrs. Leto. We’re doing well tonight.” I smiled at the sweet lady whose food was so delicious I would run around the block naked just to get a taste.

  “I tell you every time you come in here to call me Cybil, but you don’t listen.”

  “No ma’am. My mother would beat the breaks off of me if she heard me address you by your first name. It’s a southern thing. I was raised to respect my elders. Please don’t get me in trouble with my mother.”

  “Well, if you put it that way, then I guess you can call me Mrs. Leto.” She smiled as she led us to our regular table overlooking the lake. The lights shimmered brightly tonight giving us a wonderful romantic backdrop. Perfect for a proposal.

  Sitting at the linen covered table illuminated with a small lamp made me think of the first time we discovered this restaurant. I turned to Leon and reminiscence.

  “You remember the first time you brought me here?”

  “Of course I do. It was the first time you let
me take you out. I had been chasing you for months, and you finally said yes. I took a chance on this place because it was small and quiet. I wanted to impress you but didn’t have a ton of money. It was the only place that had white tablecloths that I could afford.”

  We both started laughing at that memory.

  “Boy, your broke ass thought you were doing something ordering for me. You changed your tune when the check came, and you didn’t have enough to cover the bill.”

  “I just knew you were going to dump me, but you hung in there. I almost died when Mrs. Leto asked if we knew how to wash dishes.”

  “Oh my God, yes! My beautiful yellow silk dress that I picked especially for that night got ruined with dish water. I wanted to murder you. I worked all summer in my auntie’s garden to be able to afford that dress.”

  “Yeah, but over the years I have bought you plenty of replacements.”

  “Are you insane? You can never replace that dress. It was special. There will never be another.”

  Leon smiled at me as the waitress I knew as Amy came over with our appetizer.”

  “Okay, folks, here is your fried ravioli. Your entrees will be out in a few minutes. Is there anything I can get you in the meantime?”

  “Amy, can you bring us a bottle of whatever wine will go best with the meal.”

  I’m pretty sure I saw Amy rolling her eyes as she walked away. We were not wine experts. In fact, we had hardly had anything other than that box of wine his mom used to keep in the fridge. It tasted like three-month-old bathwater. That woman had that wine for a whole year sitting in there like she was fancy or something. Now here we are in this restaurant and don’t even know which kind of wine goes with our food.

  When Amy returned with a bottle of red wine I cringed. In my brief experience with fermented grapes, I found red wine to be bitter and strong. Maybe it was just me, but I preferred to drink sweet drinks. They still got you tipsy, but the taste didn’t make you want to scrub your tongue when you were done. She poured less than an inch of the burgundy liquid in Leon’s glass and looked at him expectantly. He grimaced at the small amount in the glass.