Knight's Absolution (Knights of Hell Book 5)

by Sherilee Gray

  Her panic grew. “No, you’ve been manipulated by Azel. This loyalty you feel toward him, he doesn’t deserve it.”

  “You’re wrong,” he said, voice low, cold.

  She shook as fear sent freezing icicles through her veins. “He locked me away, Ronan. Months without blood, not even food or water. I was skin over bone when Gunner found me. My heart stopped beating, my organs had shut down.” She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her chest. “See. Nothing.”

  “Mine doesn’t beat either.”

  “He did the same to you?” she rasped.

  “He did nothing to me. Our hearts are unnecessary, it’s not unusual for them to stop.”

  She’d had no idea that it could happen.

  One of many things Azel had kept from her. She looked up at her brother. God, she wasn’t getting through to him. “He made me drink his blood, his toxic blood, and then he used my body for his pleasure. He hurt me. Manipulated me.”

  His shoulders stiffened. “You know so little of the ways of our kind, sister. Our bodies are our currency. It’s the accepted price for the blood we drink. It’s the most logical form of payment since our donors feel arousal when we feed from them.”

  God, she was going to be sick. “That may have been true, but that doesn’t mean it’s right.”

  “Your emotions are skewing things in your mind…”

  “Ronan…” she choked, pain slicing through her. “He used you like that as well?”

  Her brother looked completely unmoved. “Yes, of course.”

  “That’s…it’s not right. No one has the right to take any part of us without us giving it freely. What he did to you, to me, was wrong, Ronan. All of it.”

  “You’re confused.”

  Warmth ticked down her cheeks. She was goddamn crying again. Had anyone in the history of the world ever cried as much as she did now? “We were children and he took us from our mother. He killed her and made us his playthings. He used us for the power we could give him. He doesn’t care about either of us.”

  He stared at her long and hard before he finally spoke. “Logic is beyond you now. The knights have toyed with these emotions you have somehow developed and you are not seeing things as they truly are. Once Sir is back with us, he’ll help you overcome your weakness.”

  Then he turned and headed for the door across the room. Luna ran after him, grabbing his arm, terror exploding from her in a strangled cry.

  He stopped and grabbed her arms. “You’re being irrational. Don’t make me tie you to a chair. There is no getting away from here, Luna. And if you attempt to leave my shields, I’ll feel it and will bring you back. There is no escape. You need to come to terms with it.”

  Then he shoved her back, opened the door, and strode out, locking it behind him.

  Chapter 28

  With a snarl, Gunner kicked the demon at his feet, then dropped to his knee and tore the fucker’s head off.

  Threats and torture weren’t working. They knew something; he could see it in their eyes.

  But no one was talking.

  He and his brothers had paired up and been searching the city for hours. Rocco’s growl had him turning around. His brother bounced on the balls of his feet, covered in as much demon blood as Gunner was, sword swinging in his hand. He jutted his chin to the other side of the parking lot.

  Demons, at least five of them.

  Gunner drew his sword, on the edge of losing his shit completely. Rocco had been where he was now, had been living with the rage a long time, and they were feeding off each other’s fury and despair. In the back of his mind, he knew how dangerous that was, but right then he couldn’t find it in himself to give one single fuck.

  He wanted Luna back, and he would hunt down and torture every demon in this city until one of them talked.

  The demon standing slightly ahead of the others grinned, eyes alight with humor.

  “Something funny?” Rocco taunted.

  The demon shrugged. “Just remembering this bitch we picked up earlier.” He lifted his hands in fake surrender and spoke with a higher voice. “Who are you? What do you want? No, please don’t hurt me. Funny shit.” He chuckled. “Like seriously, can’t these whores come up with a new script already?”

  His friends laughed with him.

  They were purposely trying to get them to attack, that was obvious, but Gunner couldn’t hold back his reaction. His demon couldn’t either, and it fought to be free. He glanced at Roc, whose bare shoulders rippled as his demon did the same.

  “Remember that one a while back?” The demon talking elbowed the one closest. “That bitch lost her shit.” His gaze slid to Rocco and locked on. “Who did she keep calling out for again?” he said to one of his buddies. “Donny…Ronny? No…Rocco. That’s it.”

  Rocco turned to stone beside him.

  “Help me, Rocco. Roccccccooooo.” The demon smirked. “She was shaking so hard, and you should have seen her eyes when we handed her over to the orthon Diemos sent for her. Fucking hilarious. Our king was looking forward to meeting her too. Wonder how she’s doing in Hell?” He grinned wider. “How do you think she enjoys sharing Diemos’s bed?”

  Rocco’s roar split the night like thunder before he exploded into his Kishi demon form, and once Rocco shifted, there was no holding Gunner’s demon back. He didn’t want to. He wanted to tear those demons apart. Their smiles vanished when both Gunner and Roc used their wings to propel them forward. They spun and ran.

  Fuck that.

  His fangs and claws elongated, rage throbbing through him. Rocco’s wounded snarl, his pain and rage matching Gunner’s own. They went after the demons, and Gunner tried to keep his focus through the red fury clouding his vision, but it was impossible.

  They rounded a corner, deeper in the shadows now, behind a building set for demolition. There weren’t five demons anymore, there were at least twenty-five.

  Gunner didn’t pause, and neither did Rocco. This was a setup, there was no doubt in Gunner’s mind, but he and his brother knew exactly what they were flying into. Diemos, Azel, trying to take them out, fuck knew and fuck if he cared. Did they really think uneven odds would stop them? Did they think they could win against their fury?

  The only thing that would stop either of them at this point was having their females returned to them unharmed, but since that wasn’t fucking happening, every single one of these demons would soon be nothing but ash on the ground.

  “That demon’s mine, and I’m taking him alive,” Rocco said as they swung their swords, cutting through the first demons dumb enough to come at them.

  Gunner nodded, and with a roar removed the head of the demon in front of him. The one right behind tried to back up and Gunner laughed, the sound pure evil. The darkness inside him slipping a little deeper into his bones and through his veins. He didn’t care about that either.

  He would kill every fucking demon in this city, would tear it all down, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had Luna back.

  He would never stop.

  Luna stiffened as the door to her new prison opened. Her brother walked in. Alone.

  She’d been there four long nights, and each morning she woke expecting Azel to be there to take her back, for her nightmare to begin all over again. Only this time without the mercy of numbness. This time she would feel everything, body and soul.

  But he hadn’t come. Not yet.

  And every morning Ronan came in with food and offered her a glass of blood—whose blood she had no idea. She didn’t want to know, and she declined it each time. The only blood she wanted was Gunner’s.

  Maybe it was stupid to reject it; her hunger grew with each day, her body growing weaker, but she couldn’t make herself drink it. And her ability to go without this long was proof that she’d finally flushed Azel out of her system.

  What she craved most, though, was Gunner—his arms around her, his scent, his rough, deep voice soothing her, calling her “love,” just talking to him. Being near him. Everything
. She missed everything about him.

  She missed him so much it actually caused her pain. Who knew that was possible? And the longer she was away from him, the deeper was her…despair.

  In her condition, and with how strong Ronan was, if he chose to keep her hidden from Gunner, he would never find her. She would be lost to him forever.

  Azel would never let her out of his sight ever again.

  So when Ronan began his questions, the same ones he asked every morning—going over what she’d told him the first day she was brought there—it was a struggle to lift her head. Four days without feeding, plus a broken heart—because that’s what this had to be—all she could do was snap out her answers.

  “You’re agitated this morning? Why?” Ronan asked, that same expressionless look on his face, the robotic voice.

  Luna made herself sit up. “Because I’m sad and I’m scared,” she said, telling him the truth.

  “Why?”

  “I miss Gunner so much I hurt. I’m scared I’ll never see him again, and I’m terrified that Azel will show up at any moment and lock me away all over again.”

  “You truly believe he treated you badly?”

  She rubbed her hands over her face, then looked up at him. “I know he did. He treated me…and you, like property. Like weapons. Like playthings. That’s not right, Ronan.” Why was he doing this, asking her the same questions every day? Dare she hope he was having doubts about all of it?

  Something moved through his gaze, something other than indifference. Confusion yes, but also something else. Unease? Doubt? Could it be?

  “Azel killed our mother for our powers. How can you be loyal to that monster?”

  “Like I said, I have no recollection of that. You could be lying,” he said without heat or accusation.

  “Why would I lie about it?” It took everything in her to keep her voice from trembling.

  He slid his hands into the pockets of his trousers. “Because you want to be reunited with the knight.”

  “I’m not lying. It’s the truth.” She stood and moved closer.

  Ronan looked so different now, his face was more angular, harder than the boy she remembered. His gaze used to be warm. She’d only been little, but now she remembered the way her brother used to smile at her, the way they’d played. He’d been older, and she’d struggled to recall their time as a family before she regained her emotions. It was all coming back, so many memories. “Do you remember her?” Luna asked, looking up at him.

  His gaze grew distant. “Not really. She had black hair like you and me, didn’t she?”

  Luna swallowed as emotion tried to clog her throat. She fought it back. “Yeah, she did. She used to smile and laugh all the time. I remember that much. She’d read us stories before bed, funny ones that would make us laugh.”

  Ronan blinked, confusion in his gaze.

  Didn’t he know?

  “Dhampir aren’t born emotionless. Only the ones who’ve had the bond with their mothers severed lose their emotions. You felt it once, like I did before Azel killed her and took us.”

  His shoulders stiffened. “How is that possible?”

  “You don’t know our histories?”

  He shook his head slowly. The “only what Azel told me” went unspoken. She’d managed to learn a little about their kind during that time, but Ronan obviously hadn’t.

  She motioned to the chair, and he thankfully sat. She took that as a good sign. For now, he was willing to listen. Maybe then he’d look into it as well, and he’d see for himself she was telling the truth.

  Luna sat on the bed, crossed her legs, and tried to stay calm, to speak only facts. The last thing she needed was him accusing her of being overly emotional again and disregarding everything she said, or leaving without hearing it.

  “Dhampir are born with emotions like any other being, but they need their human mothers and the bond they share to remain unbroken until they reach adulthood. If it’s severed, like ours was, they lose those emotions.”

  “How do you know this?”

  “I overheard things while I was among the demons. And the knights have demon archives. Information on powers, on demi like us—half vampire, half human. There are websites you can find online, created by demi from all over the world. Humans think it’s a myth, fantasy, but Grace, another demi I know, showed me how to find the sites created by our kind, how to search for information.”

  He said nothing.

  “Do you believe me?”

  His gaze moved to the window, and he sat motionless for the longest time.

  “Ronan?”

  “I…I’m trying to remember. Yes, you’re right, she did smile a lot, but she was human. Humans smile.”

  “They do, so doesn’t it make sense that we could be born with emotions as well, since we’re half human?” Her hands shook, so desperate for him to believe her. “Do you remember us, you and me?”

  His fingers flexed, then curled. “You smiled as well,” he said.

  Luna froze. “Yes, I did. You remember?”

  His gaze went inward again. “I think so. Now that I’m trying…” He frowned and jolted, blinking rapidly. “When we were children, I used to hide and surprise you, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, yes you did.”

  “It made you laugh. Why would I do that?”

  Her throat was getting tight again. She curled her fingers into fists to stop from pulling him into a hug. “Because we were children, and we used to play together. We liked to make each other laugh, and sometimes we fought. Once you got so angry when I broke the wheel off one of your toy cars that you stole my favorite doll and hid her for two days.”

  His expression didn’t change, his gaze sliding back to her. “The car was blue.”

  “Yes.”

  “Your doll had hair made of black yarn.”

  How could he be in any doubt now? “That’s right.” She shifted, dropping her feet to the floor and leaned forward. “Why do you think you did those things? Took my doll, or made me laugh?”

  He suddenly looked haunted. “I’m not sure.”

  He knew. He had to know. She licked her lips, knowing she was close, so close to making him believe. Making him confront the truth. “Because you had an emotional response. Pleasure from laughter. Anger from me breaking one of your favorite toys. The only reason you no longer feel those things is because Azel did what he did.”

  Ronan stood suddenly and paced away.

  She reached down the front of her shirt and lifted their mother's necklace, holding up the tiny cross when he turned back. “She used to wear this all the time. Do you remember it?”

  He froze.

  “Ronan—”

  “It was covered in blood,” he said.

  Luna had cried, sobbing uncontrollably as she’d washed their mother’s blood from it. “Yes, after Azel had finished with her, it was covered in her blood.”

  He stood motionless, an expression so devoid of anything, she had no hope of reading him.

  “Ronan, are you okay?”

  “I have a male here who knows your knight.”

  She blinked up at him. “What? Who?”

  “I took him for questioning when I was looking for you. I let the demons think bringing him in was at Sir’s request, but it was mine.”

  “James? You have James?”

  He turned and headed for the door

  “Ronan, wait—”

  “I need to question him further.” He walked out and locked the door behind him.

  The night was never-ending.

  It was hours since Ronan had walked out, and when a soft knock finally came, she knew it wasn’t her brother. The door opened, confirming it.

  Spencer stood there, looking unsure of what his welcome would be. “May I come in?”

  The urge to hug him was as strong as the urge to kick his ass. “It’s not as if I can stop you, right? You’ll do whatever the hell you like, anyway.”

  He flinched, and he had the decency to look
shamefaced.

  “So he’s letting me have visitors now?”

  More guilt and sadness looked back at her. “Apparently.”

  “Don’t,” she bit out. “These new emotions are messing with me enough. I don’t need to feel bad about being angry with you on top of everything else.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “Why did you do it, Spencer?” The sadness she felt over his betrayal was so strong, so raw.

  Her old friend didn’t miss it and looked down. “It was a mistake.”

  “No shit,” she said. “Why did you bother texting Grace when I was locked up, why did you ask her to help free me if you planned to just drag me back?”

  “I thought having the knights close to the house would be enough of a threat for Sir to let you out, that he’d want the use of your powers. You’d been in the basement so long. I just wanted you out. I never expected the knights to take you. Then after they did, Ronan found me. I thought…I assumed he felt about Sir the way you and I did. For as long as you’ve been separated from Ronan, you’ve been desperate to find him. He was alive, and I wanted to give you back your brother.” He sat heavily in the chair by the bed. “I’m so sorry. I got everything wrong. As soon as I saw you in that alley, I knew I’d messed up.”

  She stood and went to him, her need to soothe his pain overriding her anger. She’d felt a bond to the older demi from the moment she’d met him. What that was, she hadn’t understood until now. She cared for Spencer like family, like she thought a daughter might love her father. So she lowered herself to her knees beside the chair and pulled him in for a tight hug, surprising him.

  “Get over it,” she muttered. “I’m a hugger now, apparently.”

  He chuckled and gave her a squeeze before lifting his head. “We need to get you out of here and back to your knight.”

  Luna climbed to her feet and sat back on the edge of the bed. “There’s no getting away from Ronan. Not yet. His power is wrapped too tightly around me. I can feel it. The moment I step outside this room, he’ll know.”