Knight's Absolution (Knights of Hell Book 5)

by Sherilee Gray

  “It hasn’t stopped him in the past.”

  “In the past, he had me to keep him safe. Even hidden behind my brother's stolen cloaking powers, he’ll know that I’d be able to sense him this close. That makes him vulnerable. He doesn’t like being vulnerable. He’s power-hungry, but he’s a coward.”

  Gunner’s hand slid up her back, curling around the nape of her neck; the hold was possessive, protective, and also offered comfort. She liked it. She liked that when she was with Gunner, there was this undeniable sense of belonging, that she knew she was right where she was meant to be.

  That they were equals.

  Not owned. Not someone’s property.

  Gunner constantly put her needs ahead of his own, and she wanted to be the one to do that for him. To give him everything he needed.

  Her male was selfless in a way she never knew was possible. In a way that had broken through all the pain and the barriers she’d lived behind for so long and allowed her to begin to figure out who she really was.

  All Gunner’s brothers were with them, even Rocco. Grace and her crew were hidden in the shadows below, ready if they needed backup.

  “He should be here by now,” Gunner said, scanning the alley below.

  “He’ll come. I know he will.” She’d barely gotten the words out when Spencer strode around the corner, head down. He was wearing a ball cap, something she’d never seen him wear, and a long coat. “Take me down.”

  Gunner didn’t move.

  “Gunner?”

  Her big, growly male shook his head. “Not until I know it’s safe.”

  Rocco approached her friend and Spencer tipped his head back, eyes wide as the massive knight crowded him.

  “That’s definitely him?” Gunner asked.

  “Yes, it’s him. Now please, take me down.”

  Rocco was talking low as Laz and Zenon moved around him as well. Luna glanced back up at Gunner. His eyes were closed.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Searching for demons.”

  “And?”

  “I can only sense demi.”

  Tension slid from her. Spencer would never purposely do anything to hurt her, but they could have followed him.

  Rocco lifted a hand, waving them down without looking away from his prey.

  Finally, Gunner scooped Luna up, walked to the edge of the building, and stepped off. His wings caught the air so they drifted smoothly to the alley floor below. As soon as her feet hit the pavement, Luna ran to Spencer.

  “Luna!” Gunner barked out.

  She didn’t miss the older male’s shocked expression when she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

  He stood there stunned for several seconds before his arms finally lifted and he hugged her back. She looked up at him and smiled as tears slid down her cheeks. “I thought you were dead. I’m so glad you’re okay.” She shook her head and chuckled. “Don’t panic, they’re happy tears.”

  Spencer’s mouth opened and closed several times before he finally croaked out, “Happy tears?” He blinked. “So it’s true? How did this happen? You can really feel everything?”

  She nodded as more of those damned tears fell. “Yes.”

  Spencer made a pained sound that had her frowning. “What is it?”

  He cupped her face. “I thought you were faking it when you called me, that you were giving me some kind of sign, that you needed help…if I’d known…” His expression became pained. “I’m sorry,” he whispered so softly only she would hear.

  She turned as someone else walked around the corner, tall, so tall, and so incredibly pale. Luna froze and tried to pull away from Spencer, but he held on. She glanced around, but no one was reacting. It was as if they couldn’t see him striding toward her.

  The air around the tall male rippled like heatwaves. She recognized the power instantly. This was the male who had taken her brother’s power. She was about to yell, to let Gunner know, but the male lifted his head—

  Violet eyes identical to her own stared back. Her legs went weak, but Spencer held her up.

  “Luna?” Gunner said, moving toward her.

  But it was too late, the male…her brother, lifted his arms out toward her and she and Spencer were surrounded by his power, pulled into it.

  Gunner yelled and ran toward her, the other knights doing the same. But they couldn’t see her. Gunner reached for her, but he couldn’t touch her. Mayhem erupted around them as the knights and Grace’s crew searched frantically for her.

  Ronan moved closer, his eyes never leaving hers. She stared up at him in shock when he stopped in front of her, when he looked down, his face so familiar, so precious. He was a man now, but he was her brother, she was in no doubt.

  He cupped the side of her face, skin cool. “Sister.”

  “You’re alive?” She grabbed his arms as more happy tears began to flow.

  “Yes.” He looked down at her, his expression smooth, not a trace of outward emotion showing. Just the way she used to be. “They took you from us. I’ve come to take you home.”

  “No, they didn’t take me. Gunner rescued me.”

  “That’s what they want you to believe, but they only want you for your power, Luna,” he said and glanced at Gunner. Her knight was close, close enough to touch but impossible to reach. He was yelling…no, roaring her name, his expression lined with rage, filled with pain, with anguish.

  Panic built inside her. “Please, let me go, I need to go to him,” she pleaded.

  Ronan shook his head, his gaze searching hers. “You’re confused. Dhampir aren’t supposed to feel, Luna. They broke you.” He motioned to Gunner again. “He broke you.”

  Gunner roared, the sound all demon.

  Luna tried to run to him, but her brother scooped her up easily and strode toward the mouth of the alley. She screamed and fought, but it was no use.

  Ronan turned the corner and she lost sight of him.

  She lost sight of Gunner.

  Her heart was a dead lifeless husk in her chest, but somehow it still managed to shatter.

  Chapter 27

  Gunner’s roar filled the alleyway, the power behind it shaking him to his bones, rattling his fucking skull. His brain short-circuited and his fist smashed into the brick wall in front of him. He was going to tear it down, tear it all down until he found her.

  His fist connected with the brick, again and again, skin splitting, bone crunching, blood everywhere. A frenzy of desperation and anger making it impossible to stop. He called her name until his throat was raw.

  But she was gone, oh fuck, she was gone. The cry that left him as he threw another punch couldn’t be him. It couldn’t be. His demon had control, and there was no stopping him. They wanted her back. They wanted her back right fucking now.

  Strong arms came around him from behind, pulling him back, or trying to. Then more, hands at his shoulders, around his chest. Someone stepped in front of him, he had no idea who, all he could see was red. He smashed his head forward, connecting with something. He growled and tried to fight his way free of whoever was holding him.

  The punch to his jaw sent a shockwave through him, enough that the red receded. Rocco stood in front of him, nose busted and leaking blood.

  His brother gripped his face in his big, rough hands and got nose-to-nose close. “Stop. You need to fucking stop. Now. I know what you’re feeling, brother, you know I do. But we can’t look for her when we’re trying to stop you from killing yourself.”

  Gunner jerked back, pulling away from Chaos and Zenon who held him from behind, and staggered.

  “You need to focus,” Chaos said. “Reach out, search for her.”

  Gunner shook his head, the clawing of his demon relentless, its howls lifting the hair on the back of his neck. All the calm, the control he’d had over that part of himself since he found Luna was gone, decimated because she was gone. If he looked in a mirror, his eyes would be completely black.

  His demon pressed against his skin,
causing a ripple down his spine, so close to the surface, so desperate for him to shift and let him take over.

  “Find the control,” Zenon said low. “Dig deep and fucking find it.”

  Gunner shook his head again. “She’s gone.” Dragging his fingers over his head, he paced back and forward, so much adrenaline pumping through him with nowhere to go.

  “You can track her,” Rocco said. “Right?”

  The reality of just how bad this was hit with full force at Rocco’s words. Gunner met his searching stare. “We’re not mated. She needed time after what Azel…” He growled. “She needed time. I can’t track her, I can’t find her. They’re blocking her again.”

  Chaos cursed.

  “She had some freedom before, she won’t anymore.” Gunner shook his head. “Azel will make sure I never find her again.”

  At those words, the fragile grip he had on his control snapped. His demon pushed harder, and Gunner let him have his way. He shifted into his Kishi demon form, his clothes falling in tatters at his feet, and shot into the night sky.

  Luna had found a way to reach him before. No matter how long it took for her to get another chance, he wouldn’t stop reaching out for her, calling for her until that time came.

  He wouldn’t stop searching.

  The rest of it could all burn.

  Luna fought against Ronan’s hold until she couldn’t anymore. He held her to his chest, striding through the city streets. The air around them rippled as they seemingly walked right through people. His power was so incredibly strong, stronger than she ever believed.

  She gripped the lapel of his jacket. “Ronan, please, tell me where you’re taking me.”

  His vibrant violet eyes locked with hers. “Home.”

  “Home? What do you mean?”

  Ronan blinked down at her slowly, his confusion clear. “He needs us.”

  She struggled again. “No, goddammit, no. Not back to him. Not back there.”

  Ronan’s hold on her tightened. “Calm yourself, Luna. What is the matter with you? Your eyes, they’re bleeding, but you’re not using your power.”

  She shoved at his chest, and there was no holding back her panicked scream. And she kept on screaming. His hand touched the side of her face and something pulsed heavily through her head.

  Then there was nothing.

  Luna opened her eyes.

  And oppressive darkness closed in.

  She was back in the basement.

  Panic seized her by the throat.

  Wrapping her arms around herself, she squeezed her eyes closed and bit her lips together. She would not cry, she would not show Sir her pain. That fucker would not get the satisfaction.

  Gunner.

  The way she’d seen him before Ronan took her rushed forward, burning an imprint into her mind. His anguished roar echoed through her head, and the cry she tried to fight escaped.

  A scraping sound reached her from the other side of the room.

  Luna jolted and curled deeper in on herself.

  If Sir touched her, if he made her feed from him and forced himself on her—

  Her body convulsed as she dry heaved.

  “Luna?” A light came on.

  She jerked back, blinking as her eyes tried to adjust.

  A small lamp was on across the room. She wasn’t in the basement. No, of course she wasn’t. That basement didn’t exist anymore. The house didn’t exist anymore.

  Ronan sat in a chair across from her, watching her as if she was some newly found species.

  Luna pushed up, not from a hard concrete floor but a huge bed. “Where am I?”

  The bedroom she was in was filled with dark furniture and hunter green walls, curtains, and bedcovers.

  Her brother’s head tilted to the side. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you cowering?” He stood and moved closer, still studying her. “What do you think is going to happen here?”

  “Where is he?”

  “Sir?”

  “Yes! Goddammit, Ronan, is he here?” Her voice was growing higher with her panic.

  Her brother shook his head. “I planned on reaching out to him once I found you. I failed him. His house was destroyed, you were taken,” he said, voice almost robotic. “We saw you with the knight and you wouldn’t come to him, to us. He was angry. He won’t return until he has us both, until we can make it safe for him to do so again.”

  Azel wasn’t here, he didn’t know where they were, for now. “So when I wouldn’t go to him, when I was with the knights, what did he do?”

  “He told me to find you or never return.”

  It was a bluff. It had to be. “You can’t possibly want to go back to him.”

  His brow scrunched. “Why would I not? He needs our powers for his cause. He needs us. And it was my failing that allowed the knights to find you, that they were able to destroy his house.” Ronan’s frown deepened. “That day, something or someone was able to get inside my head, they spoke to me. The shock of it…my block fell. It takes time to rebuild one that strong. I couldn’t do it fast enough.”

  Eve. It was Eve who got in his head.

  Luna hadn’t missed the tiny crack in her brother’s voice, could it mean something? Ronan was cold, emotionless, there was no missing it. He was the way she’d been for many years. It was the nature of the dhampir. But she had emotions now, she felt. It started slowly. Was the same thing happening to him? Was he feeling something? There had been a note of desperation in his voice when he spoke of being reunited with Sir. Was he aware of it?

  Azel had manipulated her brother into coming after her. That asshole would be lost without Ronan, without both of them, but somehow he’d convinced Ronan it was the other way around.

  She had to get through to him, and letting her new emotions lead her wasn’t going to work. Maybe she heard something in his voice, maybe not. But right now, her best bet was cold hard facts.

  “The cause he’s had us fighting? Sir is on the wrong side. He’s on the side of evil, you must know that?”

  His hands slid into the pockets of his trousers. “Both demons and demi are powerful. Humans are not. It’s only logical to assume Hell will eventually prevail, that Diemos will be released and take the earth. Sir knows this also.”

  “It’s not a forgone conclusion, Ronan. There are good people, demi, the knights, fighting for what is right. Humans don’t deserve to die or be exploited because Diemos wants more. Demi don’t want to be under his rule, they want to defeat him.”

  His stare was intense. “Impossible. The knights can’t win.”

  She shook her head. “It’s not. We can fight, and we should. What Azel—”

  “You dare use his name?”

  She slid off the bed and moved closer to her brother. “Azel's not a demon, Ronan, he’s an angel. Did you know that?”

  He stilled. “No, he’s a—”

  “You’ve seen the scars on his back?”

  A sharp nod.

  “They’re from having his wings removed before he was stripped of most of his powers and thrown from Heaven.”

  Ronan’s expression didn’t change, if anything, it now looked like smooth marble, giving away absolutely nothing. “How do you know this?”

  “Lucifer is the grandfather of one of the knights. He confirmed it. Lucifer, Ronan. How can we not believe him?”

  “Lucifer is known for his mischief-making. He could be lying.”

  It was hard, but she had to keep her emotions in check, even when panic tried to fill her empty lungs and choke her. “His scars, how else can you explain them?”

  “Battle.”

  “Azel told me you were dead just before I was found, that your powers were given to someone else.”

  He frowned. “Why would he say that?”

  “Didn’t you wonder why we were kept apart?”

  “I did query it.”

  “And?”

  “He said you were a distraction I couldn’t afford, that the work I needed to do was too importa
nt.” He shrugged. “I’m powerful. As a child, I needed focus and discipline to harness it. I was always close by.”

  “I missed you, Ronan. I missed my brother.”

  “I don’t understand such feelings.”

  She touched his forearm, and he looked down and frowned again. “I know you don’t. I didn’t either. But I always had this ache, right here,” she said, touching her chest where her heart used to beat. “Something was always missing.”

  He stared into her eyes as if trying to see inside her, and finally, he nodded. “I think…I think I experienced something like that.”

  Was she getting through? Was she actually getting through to him? “He told me for years that you were locked away, that he’d hurt you or kill you if I didn’t do as he said. He lied to me.”

  “That makes no sense.”

  “I never forgot what he did to our mother. I didn’t need to feel or understand emotions to know that was wrong. I refused to give him my loyalty because of what he did. He manipulated me to ensure I complied.”

  His mouth tightened, a tiny chink in that stony mask. “Our mother? What do you think he did?”

  Luna stared up at him as pain assaulted her, disbelief. “He killed her, Ronan. You were there beside me when he removed her head in front of us.”

  A muscle in his cheek jumped. “No. No, you’re wrong. I have no recollection of that.”

  “You were there, Ronan. You stood beside me, you cried out for her as she fell to the floor. That’s why he’s kept us apart, that’s why he wouldn’t let us be together. Together, we would defy him.” She squeezed his forearm. “He is nothing without us. Nothing.”

  “I don’t believe it. I’d remember him murdering our mother…”

  “You must have blocked it out, seeing her slaughtered that way. You were older. Maybe your bond to her was stronger? Having that severed would have caused you great distress. It did for me. You’ve locked it away, Ronan, to protect yourself, but if you try, if you think really hard, I know you’ll remember.”

  He pulled his arm out from under her hand. “The knights, they’ve toyed with you, sister. They’ve taken advantage of your emotions, your weakness.” He took a step back. “You’ve been brainwashed by our enemy.”