Hummingbird Lane

by Brown, Carolyn

  Sophie rubbed her swollen eyes. “I’m wearing what I have on, and I’m not putting on boots.”

  “Fine by me,” Emma said. “Stand up.”

  “What for?”

  “I’m rescuing you just like you did me.”

  “I don’t need rescuing. I’m fine,” Sophie argued.

  “If I had a nickel for every time I said that I was fine, I’d be a rich woman. That’s the first sign that you are not fine. Stand up or else I’ll go get Arty and Josh and we’ll carry you outside.” Emma’s voice sounded just like Rebel’s in her own ears, and that made her happy.

  “I’ll stand up, but I’m not going outside. I have to go to the bathroom, and then I’m going back to bed.” Sophie got to her feet.

  Emma picked up her hiking boots from the closet and her purse from the dresser. She carried both out to the vehicle, tossed them inside, and got back just as Sophie was coming out of the bathroom.

  “If you don’t walk out on that porch, I’m calling Rebel to come down here,” Emma threatened.

  Sophie whipped around and gave her a dirty look. “You wouldn’t dare. I didn’t call Victoria to come get you.”

  “That’s a whole different story. Walk outside on the front porch.” Emma pointed to the door.

  Sophie stomped to the door and went outside. “Now what? Do you have one of your high-dollar therapists out here to talk to me?”

  “Now you are going to get in the passenger seat of your vehicle, and we’re going for a drive,” Emma said.

  “You’re not driving my car,” Sophie declared as she went down the stairs in her bare feet.

  “I’ve got the keys.” Emma dangled them in front of her. “Either you go with me, or I’ll go by myself and let you wallow in your misery for the rest of the week.”

  “You wouldn’t dare!” Sophie raised her voice. “You don’t know your way around these parts. I didn’t even know you had a driver’s license still.”

  “Mother didn’t think I needed one, but that was the one time Daddy put his foot down and insisted that I have a license and my own car,” Emma said. “Now, go get in the car and show me where to go and how to get back here when we finish our drive.” Emma marched out to the car, where Josh stood waiting with the door opened for her. She slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine. Her hands were all sweaty, and her pulse raced. She hadn’t driven anywhere in a very long time.

  You are strong, and Sophie needs you. Rebel’s voice came to her.

  “Yes, I am,” she muttered.

  Filly and Arty both came out onto their porches and waved. “Have a good time!” they yelled in unison.

  Josh rushed around to the other side of the vehicle and opened the door for Sophie, who hadn’t moved more than a foot from the bottom of the steps. Emma put the vehicle in park and stomped the gas, revving up the engine. Doing that relieved enough of the nerves that she giggled.

  “You’re going to tear up my engine.” Sophie stormed out across the yard and got into the passenger’s seat. She fastened her seat belt and glared at Josh when he slammed the door shut.

  “Be careful and call,” he mouthed and gestured to Emma.

  “I promise I will,” she yelled through the closed window, and then focused on Sophie. “Driving is somewhat like riding a bicycle, isn’t it? It’s all instinct, but I have to admit,” she said as she made a U-turn in the yard and started away from the park, “this is the first time I’ve ever driven on a dirt road.”

  “Pull over and let me take the wheel,” Sophie growled.

  Emma shook her head. “Nope. If you do that, you’ll go right back to the trailer and go to bed again.”

  “Where are we going?” Sophie asked.

  “We’re going to tour Big Bend National Park and look for good places to paint a few pictures,” Emma answered. “You just look out the window and see if there’s anything we need to stop and take a picture of on the way. Coffee is right beside you, and there’s breakfast bars in the console.” Emma picked up her silver travel mug and took a sip of coffee. “Good and strong. It’ll wake you up, believe me.”

  “I don’t want coffee, and I don’t want to eat,” Sophie moaned.

  Emma took another couple of sips, put the mug back in the holder, and popped open the console. She removed a breakfast bar and used one hand and her teeth to open it. “Then just sit there and pout. I wasn’t this cantankerous when you rescued me. Have you been using drugs or something? Is that what you and Teddy really fought about? Did he find your stash and break up with you because he can’t stand the idea of being married to an addict?” Maybe that would shock Sophie out of the depression.

  Sophie folded her arms across her chest. “No!”

  “Then what?” Emma asked. “Talk to me.”

  “No.” Sophie sighed.

  Emma braked hard and brought the vehicle to an abrupt stop to let a herd of deer cross in front of her.

  “I don’t want to talk. I just want to be left alone,” Sophie said.

  “You’d be better off dead than half-alive like you are right now.” Emma eased on down the road and ate the breakfast bar with one hand. “And don’t be a back-seat driver. Drink some coffee so you won’t be so grouchy.”

  “You’re worse than Victoria.” Sophie picked up the coffee and took a few sips, but she didn’t say another word for thirty minutes. By then they were passing the tiny community of Terlingua.

  “I’m stopping for a bathroom break. If you want to call anyone, like Teddy, and tell him what a jackass you’ve been, your phone is in your purse.” Emma pointed to the back seat.

  “What the hell is all that other stuff?” Sophie gasped.

  “It’s what Josh, Arty, and Filly say we need for a few nights in the park. Are you going with me to the bathroom or not? I thought I’d also pick up some milk and maybe a six-pack of beer while we’re here. Arty said he put enough ice in the cooler to last until tomorrow,” Emma answered.

  “Good God!” Sophie groaned.

  “You might want to put your boots on if you need to use the bathroom. Looks like that gravel would hurt bare feet.” Emma snagged the keys and her purse and opened the door. She unfastened her seat belt and followed the signs around to the side of the building where the restrooms were located. She wasn’t a bit surprised when she finished to find Sophie waiting at the door with her boots on.

  “If we were on Facebook right now, I would unfriend you,” she fumed with her arms crossed over her chest.

  “Good thing we’re in the real world, then, isn’t it?” Emma flashed her brightest smile. “If you’re not ashamed to be seen in the store in your pajama pants and no bra, come on inside and see if there’s anything you might like to take with us. I’ve still got my hundred dollars I left the institution with, so I can get what I think we might need.”

  Sophie went into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. “You are a witch.”

  “I believe it,” Emma yelled through the closed door. “I got you out of bed, so I must have superpowers. When we get back home, I’ll see if I can make a broom fly and turn frogs into princes. Maybe I’ll turn Teddy into a frog and you’ll be plumb out of luck.”

  “Hush,” Sophie shouted. “Go buy the beer.”

  Emma didn’t budge. No way was she giving Sophie a chance to hitch a ride back to the trailer park. “If they have whiskey, I might need a bottle of that just to get me through the next few days with an old cranky-butted woman.”

  Sophie slung open the door. “Don’t call me old.”

  “Well, today you look twenty years older than me,” Emma said. “Your hair is a fright and your boobs are sagging. It’s a good thing Teddy can’t see you right now.”

  Sophie crossed her arms over her chest again and stormed back to the car, got inside, and slammed the door so hard that it rocked the vehicle.

  “Mission accomplished,” Emma singsonged. “Being mad is a step up from being numb.” She got two six-packs of beer, a couple of bottles of cheap wi
ne, half a gallon of milk, and, on the way to the register, she picked up two Cherry Mash candies. Emma hadn’t had one of those in years, but just seeing the red-and-white wrapper reminded her of the days when Rebel used to give her and Sophie one while they sketched or colored in their books. Maybe just having one would help Sophie get over all this and make up with Teddy.

  Sophie was still in a mood when she got back to the vehicle. Emma wedged everything except the candy into a small place in the back, and then got behind the wheel again. “I’m going to turn Lulu off now, and you can guide me through the park and to the best campground.”

  “Why do you call the GPS Lulu, and what are you hiding in your pocket?” Sophie asked.

  “The cleaning lady we had after Rebel got fired was Lulu. She had a voice just like that GPS lady, and she was very blunt, not at all like Rebel. She never told stories or brought me one of these.” Emma tossed a Cherry Mash candy toward Sophie.

  Sophie caught it midair. “Don’t think because you brought my favorite candy out here that you are forgiven.”

  “Eat it and drink your coffee and tell me what to do now,” Emma said.

  “Drive straight into the park, stop at the toll booth, and pay for us to go inside. It’s fifteen dollars for each of us,” Sophie said.

  “Get your purse out,” Emma said.

  “Oh, no.” Sophie shook her head. “This is your party. You pay the cover fee.”

  Emma did a quick tally. She had more than thirty dollars left in her purse, even after buying what she had, but there wouldn’t be much left. Hopefully Arty and Filly had packed enough food to get them through until Sophie’s funk ended. Thank goodness Filly hadn’t let her pay for the things she’d asked them to pick up at the store while Sophie was gone, or she wouldn’t have been able to pay the toll.

  They pulled in behind four pickup trucks when they reached the adobe booth with an American flag flying high outside. “Is there a camping fee in addition—” Emma started to ask, but two of the trucks in front of her shoved something out the window and went right on through, so she had to pull up.

  “Sixteen dollars a night,” Sophie answered. “How long are we staying and which campground are we using?”

  The best-laid plans and all that crap, Emma thought as she tossed out the idea of staying until the weekend. She had enough money to get them into the park. They sure wouldn’t go hungry, but Sophie had better get out of her mood by the end of the day.

  At least you tried, and you got behind the wheel and drove again, and you asserted a little authority over Sophie.

  “Yes, I did,” Emma whispered in agreement.

  “You did what, and who are you talking to?” Sophie asked.

  “I got you out of the house. I don’t have the money for campgrounds, so you’ve got until midnight to get yourself back on track,” Emma said.

  Sophie grabbed her purse from the back seat and fumbled in it. “I need more than one day to be miserable.”

  The last truck in front of her drove away, and Emma moved up to the window. Sophie shoved two papers at her. “Keep your money and give her these.”

  “What are they?” Emma handed them to the woman in the booth.

  The woman stuck her head out and smiled. “Is that you in the passenger seat, Miss Mason?”

  “It’s me.” Sophie leaned forward and waved. “Good to see you again, Edna.”

  “Glad you made reservations and got your annual pass in early,” Edna said as she handed Emma the tag to hang on the rearview and a pass to Cottonwood Campground.

  “I always do. Have a great day.” Sophie smiled and waved.

  Emma was as surprised about Sophie’s fake smile as she was about the fact that her friend had been going to make her use the last of her money when she had a pass to the park. Emma shoved her money back into her purse and tossed it over the seat. “You are evil when you are cranky. You would have let me use all the money I had, wouldn’t you? And you can smile for a stranger, but you’re fighting me every step of the way.”

  “You are evil when you won’t leave me alone to work out my depression,” Sophie said. “I left you alone to take care of your demons. Drive, woman. There are cars behind you. And that woman didn’t make me get out of bed and drag me off looking like this.”

  “Yep, you did leave me alone for about sixteen years, but you would have had to wade through Victoria to help me. Even you don’t have that kind of strength.” Emma put the SUV in gear and headed down the narrow two-lane road. “I don’t have that many years to worry with you.”

  “So, you’re going to toss me away now that you and Josh are flirting?” Sophie asked.

  “I swear to God,” Emma said as she clenched her teeth in a sudden burst of anger, “you should have been Victoria’s daughter, not me. Maybe when Rebel came to clean houses when we were just little kids, the nanny switched us.”

  “We were already toddlers by then. I’m a blonde and you’re a brunette. I don’t think anyone switched us,” Sophie smarted off.

  “Well, I can dream, can’t I?” Emma grumbled. “Right now you’re acting enough like my mother that I’d like to kick you out beside the road.”

  “But you won’t because you love me like a sister,” Sophie said.

  “Sure I do. Like a bratty little sister who’s spoiled rotten.” Emma drove slowly and wondered what was so great about this place anyway. The landscape wasn’t all that different from the acreage around the park, and there was no Josh here or Filly or Arty, either—just a pouting Sophie.

  “I’m older than you are.” Sophie opened the console and took out two breakfast bars.

  “Not by much or by actions.” Emma was glad to see her arguing and eating. That was much better than lying in bed and refusing to even look at food.

  “If I gain forty pounds, I’m going to blame you. When I’m coming down off a pity party, I eat everything in sight,” Sophie told her as she peeled the wrapper off a bar.

  “I’d rather have you fat and happy than skinny and grouchy,” Emma told her. “Where is this Cottonwood Campground, anyway?”

  “When you come to a T in the road, turn right and follow the signs. It’s pretty close to the Rio Grande. If you don’t quit being mean to me, I’ll throw you over into Mexico,” Sophie said.

  “If you’re going to act like this, I’d probably be happier there. How many wallowing moments have you had since our freshman year in college?” Emma asked as she made the turn.

  Sophie had only had a couple of moments like this before, but they were nothing compared to how she had felt when it finally sank in that she was truly a success, and then when she’d been fighting with Teddy over such a silly thing. He just wanted to surprise her and make her happy, and now she had probably ruined everything between them.

  Emma deserved to know why she was acting like this, but she didn’t want her to think she was downright crazy, and yet she had to get it off her chest. She had to say the words again, even if they drove her into an even deeper depression.

  Finally, she blurted out, “I lost a baby about the same time you were raped. I didn’t know the man was married when I slept with him. I didn’t want to be pregnant, and I hated the idea of giving up my dreams to raise a child by myself. I’ve felt guilty as hell since I miscarried. Sometimes I wish I could have repressed the memories like you did, because I’ve always felt like my negative feelings caused that baby to die. For the past seventeen years, I’ve seen my child in every kid that would have been her age. Would she look like the little girl in the mall? Would she be a petulant teenager now? Then I think, would my mother be disappointed in me for being so reckless, and with a married man at that? My baby would be alive if I hadn’t hated her so much.”

  Emma pulled onto the gravel area beside the road and turned off the engine. She unfastened her seat belt, threw open the door, and ran around the SUV as fast as she could. Sophie’s head was in her hands and she was sobbing when Emma opened the passenger door and reached across her to undo her
seat belt. With an arm around her shoulders, Emma guided her out of the vehicle. Together, they slumped down on the gravel side by side.

  “I didn’t mean to blurt that all out.” Sophie continued to weep. “I shouldn’t be happy now when I didn’t even want my own child. Teddy wants a family, and I would be a terrible mother. I’m no better than Victoria. She didn’t want you, and look how that worked out.”

  “Shh, don’t cry.” Emma wiped her own tears with the back of her hand. “I’ve had the same worries. What if I find someone wonderful and he wants children? What if I’m no good as a mother? At least you had Rebel, and you know how to be a good mother.”

  A car parked behind their SUV and an elderly guy with gray hair and a beard halfway to his waist got out. “Are you ladies all right?” he asked. “Do you need help?”

  “We’re fine,” Emma said, “but thank you.”

  “I can call the park ranger if you’re sick,” he offered.

  “No, we’re fine, honest,” Emma told him.

  “All right, then.” He nodded. “Y’all have a good day.”

  “Yes, sir.” Emma tried to smile, but it didn’t work. “You too.”

  Sophie pushed her tangled blonde hair away from her wet cheeks. “He must think we’re a couple of crazies, sitting in the gravel like this.”

  “Well, you do look a little insane. Your hair is a fright. You’re not wearing a bra, and those paint-stained pajama pants aren’t exactly in vogue right now.” Emma threw an arm around Sophie’s shoulders and hugged her tightly. “Do you really give a rat’s tiny butt what anyone thinks of us anyway?”

  “Not really,” Sophie answered.

  “That goes to prove we aren’t either one like Victoria, now doesn’t it? We’re both going to be fantastic mothers if we have kids,” Emma assured her.

  “Promise?” Sophie hiccuped.

  Emma held up her little finger. “I pinkie promise, and if I see you doing something stupid like not letting your kid go to public school, I’ll whip your ass.”