Hummingbird Lane

by Brown, Carolyn

  Sophie locked her little finger with Emma’s. “Why would I do that?”

  “Oh. My. Gosh!” Emma untangled her pinkie finger from Sophie’s.

  “What? Is it a snake?” Sophie began to scan the ground. “Or a scorpion?”

  “No.” Emma shook her head. “Where would my children go to school if I never intend to move away from the trailer park?”

  Sophie giggled and then chuckled and then broke into guffaws.

  “What’s so funny?” Emma asked.

  “We’re talking about my guilt and me being a horrible mother, and you—” She wiped her eyes and got the hiccups. “You are suddenly worried about where our kids—that we don’t have—will go to school.”

  “Well.” Emma shrugged. “Where would they go?”

  “They’d attend Big Bend School over in Terlingua. Last time I checked, it had about a hundred students, and that’s pre-K through twelfth grade. Are you and Josh that serious? Have you already named your firstborn? Do we need to have the talk about birth control?” Sophie got tickled all over again.

  “No, but he kissed me one time and I didn’t panic,” Emma said. “And it’s not funny.”

  “It kind of is.” Sophie stood up.

  “No, it’s not,” Emma said. “Let’s get back in the SUV and find this Cottonwood place. Josh said he packed us a couple of sleeping bags. Is there a place where we roll them out, or what do we do?”

  Sophie got to her feet. “I hope he sent a tent, or we might be in trouble with the bears and javelinas.”

  “Hav-a-whatus?” Emma got behind the wheel and started the engine.

  “They’re kind of like a small feral pig. That’s why we don’t leave food of any kind out on the picnic table or in the tent. We’ll keep everything in the SUV except when we’re cooking or eating.”

  “Are they dangerous?” Emma checked the rearview mirror to be sure there was no traffic, and then she pulled out onto the road and started driving.

  “If you provoke them, they are, but they’ll run away from loud noises most of the time. Just grab a pot and bang on it. Stop!” Sophie yelled.

  Emma slammed on the brakes. “What is it?”

  “Lord, woman! Don’t do that. You about slung me through the windshield,” Sophie said.

  “Well, don’t yell stop at me,” Emma shot back. “Why did you tell me to stop?”

  “Right there.” Sophie pointed. “That’s a javelina. A mama and her two babies.”

  “Ugly critters. Do people eat them?” Emma’s nose curled.

  “I’ve never been that hungry. Go on now. Turn left about a quarter mile up the road and we’ll be at the campground. I usually rent an RV when I come here, but as you know, I didn’t have time to plan this trip.”

  “Bathrooms?” Emma made the turn.

  “Outside toilets, but they usually don’t smell too bad. Biggest problem is that they run out of toilet paper pretty often,” Sophie answered. “There. See those two little adobe buildings? Those are the bathrooms. At least when I rescued you, I brought you to a nice trailer with a flushable toilet.”

  “I’ve never used a potty that didn’t flush in my whole life, but it will be an adventure,” Emma said.

  Sophie pointed to the right. “That’s our spot right there, and there’s an RV in it.”

  “I’m bush broke, as Rebel used to say,” Emma laughed. “After we went to the cave, I managed to hold it until we got back home, but before that, I did have to cop a squat behind a bush a couple of times. And I did check for snakes and scorpions.”

  “Why’s an RV in our reserved space?” Sophie stared at the vehicle like it was an alien spaceship.

  “I guess the proper thing would be to knock on the door and ask the folks,” Emma said. “Or we could just pitch our tent. Maybe back there by the table, and we can share the space with our neighbors.”

  Sophie whipped around to stare at Emma. Surely she was hearing things. Emma didn’t like to be around strangers, and she sure wouldn’t want to share a picnic table with folks she didn’t know. Where was her Emma, and who was this strange woman occupying her body?

  “Well, Miz Social Butterfly,” Sophie grumbled. “Why don’t you go up there and knock on the door and see if those people have made a mistake?”

  “You’re the one who reserved the campground.” Emma’s voice was a little shaky now. “You go tell them to move.”

  Sophie giggled so hard she snorted. “Would you open the door to someone who looks like me, or would you call the park rangers?”

  Emma sucked in a lungful of air and let it out in a whoosh. “I guess if I’m going to have babies and send them off on a school bus, I’d better learn how to ask a few questions.”

  This can’t be much different than watching a child go into a kindergarten classroom all by herself. Sophie thought of Teddy’s words as she kept an eye on Emma. But then Emma didn’t even knock on the RV door. She just turned around and ran back to the SUV. So much for the child being brave on the first day of school.

  Sophie hopped out of the SUV and started across to the RV but stopped when she noticed Emma dragging things out of the back seat. “What are you doing?”

  “Read the note,” Emma yelled. “None of those pig critters are going to attack us tonight.”

  Stepping up on the bottom step, Sophie read through the short note twice: This RV is for Sophia Mason and Emma Merrill’s use until Saturday afternoon. Josh Corlen says he forgot to pack a tent.

  Sophie suddenly felt a little better just knowing that the trailer family was thinking about her. She went back to their vehicle and got her phone from her purse. She scrolled down through the list of contacts until she came to Josh’s name and then hit the call icon.

  “Hey, did y’all make it? I’m sorry about the tent. I called the Terlingua rental right outside the park, and they said they only had one left. I asked them to put a rush on it and have it set up for you when you arrived. The keys are under the bottom porch step,” Josh said.

  “Thank you, thank you! You are my new hero,” Sophie said. “I’ll reimburse you when I get home.”

  “No need,” Josh chuckled. “My treat, and it’s good to hear your voice. You sound better.”

  Yes, sir, she was better because so many people cared about her and were supporting Emma in trying to get her over this horrible nightmare of depression.

  “I am better,” Sophie said. “There’s nothing like a friend who’ll rescue you, or other friends who help her out with the job. See you on Saturday.”

  “Bring home paintings,” he said.

  “And Emma?”

  “Yes, please,” Josh answered. “See you then. You ladies have a great time. ’Bye, now.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Emma carried the first load of food into the small RV. A bench wrapped around a small table on one side of the room. A kitchenette-type area was straight across from that with a tiny sink, dorm-size refrigerator, and stove top with two burners. To the right was a small settee, and to the left, two bunkbeds took up the rest of the space—except for a shower and potty in a room that was smaller than any broom closet Emma had ever seen.

  “It beats javelinas and bears attacking us in our sleep or going without a shower for three days,” she whispered.

  “Pretty small.” Sophie brought in another load. “I usually rent one about twice this size, but a rescued princess can’t fuss about her living quarters.”

  “I love it, and I hate to break the news to you, but neither of us are princesses, thank God. If I never see that hideous bedroom at Mother’s house again, it will be too soon,” Emma said. “This is about the size of the tiny house I’ve always dreamed of having. And we have a shower, and a flushable potty.”

  “The potty should only be used at night and the showers kept very short or we’ll run out of water.” Sophie set her things on the table. “Potty only at night because, even in three days, it will begin to smell. Showers because a trailer this size has a small water tank.”<
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  “Still, it’s better than being pig food in our sleep.” Emma smiled.

  “I can agree with that for sure.” Sophie slumped down on the settee and scanned the whole place. “It’s got more room than a two-man tent, and we don’t have to build a fire to cook, so we’re good. We’ll set up our painting supplies on the picnic table and put them all in the SUV at night.”

  This was her Sophie—taking charge and making decisions. Emma couldn’t help but think about her own journey from institution to standing up for herself. Dragging Sophie away from her pity party was the right thing to do, but Emma was already missing Josh.

  Emma searched through the bags on the table until she found the beer. She twisted the top off one and handed it to Sophie. “I was scared out of my mind that I might be pregnant after the rape. I was too scared to go to the pharmacy for the morning-after pill. I stopped by a store on my way home and bought ten tests and took one every week until I finally got my period.” She removed the cap from her beer and took a long swallow. “I buried the rest of them in the rose garden out in the backyard. I was afraid that if I put them in the trash, Mother would find them.”

  “What would you have done if you had been pregnant?” Sophie asked.

  “I’m glad I didn’t have to make that decision. I would have felt guilty if I had decided to terminate the pregnancy, but”—Emma shrugged—“you know Victoria. She would have insisted I have an abortion or else sent me away to some exclusive unwed mothers’ home and given the baby up for adoption.”

  “What would you have wanted?” Sophie asked.

  “I couldn’t have raised a child back then, not in the condition I was in, and besides, every time I looked at the baby, I would have remembered that awful night. I just wanted to put it all behind me and never think of it again. That’s exactly what I did until you came to the center.” Emma touched her bottle to the one Sophie was holding. “To friends who are closer than sisters.”

  “To us.” Sophie’s smile wasn’t brilliant, but it sure beat the scowls she’d been giving Emma since they had left home. “I’m glad you are here, Em. My heart and mind tell me not to feel like this, but it’s so tough.”

  “Yep, I know exactly what you’re talking about,” Emma said.

  “Couple of basket cases, aren’t we?” Sophie sighed.

  “Maybe we were, but we’re two strong women now who have overcome horrible things and lived with the guilt for too long. Did you ever read that plaque hanging on the wall in my bedroom?” Emma asked.

  “I noticed it was there, but until you moved into the trailer with me, I probably wasn’t in the bedroom you use more than a couple of times,” Sophie answered.

  Emma set her beer on the floor and hopped up off the settee. She pushed some bags to the side and found her purse, took out her phone, and went back to sit beside Sophie. “Listen to this very carefully: ‘Love will put you face-to-face with endless obstacles. It will ask you to reveal the parts of yourself you tirelessly work at hiding. It will ask you to find compassion for yourself and receive what it is you are convinced you are not worthy of. Love will always demand more. Surrender to being seen and being loved. Surrender to the beauty of revealing yourself to yourself, and to the ones who saw you before you saw you.’ It was written by Vienna Pharaon, who is a therapist.” She took a drink of her beer and then went on, “We have faced obstacles. We have hidden parts of ourselves. We should give up all this baggage and realize we are worthy to be seen and to be loved.”

  “That’s easier said than done,” Sophie whispered. “I haven’t told my mother about the baby. What’s she going to say? Is she going to be disappointed in me?”

  Emma laid her phone in Sophie’s lap. “No time like the present. Jump over the obstacle and get it over with. Rebel loves you. She will understand.”

  “Did Victoria understand when you told her about the rape?” Sophie asked.

  “She did exactly what I thought she would do,” Emma answered. “And Rebel will do what I figure she’ll do. She’s not Victoria, and neither are we.”

  Sophie scrolled down through Emma’s contacts and called her mother.

  Emma stood up. “I’ll go on and finish unloading the SUV.”

  Sophie grabbed her hand. “You are going to sit right here beside me. This is too much for me to do alone. Mama, I’ve got Emma here, and I’m putting you on speaker.”

  “How are you holding up? Did Emma take you to the park?” Rebel asked.

  “Yes, I did, but I had to bring her barefoot and in her pajamas, because she refused to get dressed,” Emma tattled.

  “She can always get dressed later. The important thing is that you’ve gotten her out of bed and into a place where she’s always loved to paint,” Rebel said.

  “Mama, I need to tell you something.” Tears flowed down Sophie’s cheeks again. “It’s so hard to even say the words.”

  “Does Emma know what you’re about to say?” Rebel asked.

  “I didn’t until this morning, maybe an hour or two ago,” Emma answered.

  “Is Sophie crying?” Rebel asked.

  “Yes,” Emma said.

  “Then you tell me why she’s crying. That’s what friends are for,” Rebel said.

  Sophie nodded at Emma. “I just can’t do it.”

  Emma shortened the story, but by the time she was finished telling Rebel Sophie’s secret, all three of them were weeping.

  “Don’t hate me, Mama,” Sophie sobbed.

  “Hate you?” Rebel blew her nose loudly. “I’m just sorry you didn’t come to me and tell me then. You shouldn’t have carried this burden alone all these years. Promise me you’ll never do something like this again.”

  “I promise,” Sophie agreed.

  “Now, I’m going to hang up this phone because all we’re going to do is shed tears together if I don’t. I love you, Sophie, and I love you, Em, for being there with her. You two should never have been separated. You’re like twins, even more than most blood kin sisters are, and you’ve had to face battles that neither of you should have had to endure, especially alone,” Rebel said.

  “Love you, Mama,” Sophie said.

  “Me too,” Emma told her and ended the call.

  Sophie went straight to the bathroom, brought out toilet paper, and pulled a fistful off before she handed it to Emma. She wiped her face, blew her nose, and tossed the tissue into the small trash can at the end of the table. “We’ve conquered that obstacle, but when you read that quote, it said they were endless. I’m not sure I can handle too many more as hard as the past two days have been.”

  “Toad frogs.” Emma managed a weak giggle.

  Sophie sank back down on the brown-and-orange-plaid settee. “I’d forgotten about that.”

  “Get up every morning and eat a toad frog. Nothing will faze you the rest of the day,” Emma said, quoting something that Rebel had told them when they were girls.

  “You ever seen a cat or dog bite into a toad frog?” Sophie asked.

  “Of course not. Mama wouldn’t allow pets of any kind in or around the house.” Emma leaned her head back, resting it on the overstuffed cushion.

  “The frog has a protective thing that must taste awful. I saw a big old pit bull grab one up and bite it. The dog frothed at the mouth and howled like it had been shot.” Sophie turned up her beer, finished it, and tossed the empty bottle into the trash can. “Three points from this far away.”

  “That was barely two points. You’re not even four feet from the can,” Emma argued. “Are you serious about the frog?”

  “Yep, I was about thirteen when I saw it happen. I was sitting on the porch of our trailer. The neighbors owned that dog, and I hated it because it always barked at me, but I felt sorry for it that day.”

  “What’s that got to do with today?” Emma asked.

  “We’ve faced our biggest fears,” Sophie said. “They were as bitter as that dog eating the toad frog, but now we are past that and we can move on.”

  “Yes
, we can.” Emma felt like she could move on. “What about Teddy? Are you going to make up with him?”

  Sophie nodded. “Let’s go unload what else we need to bring inside and set up our easels. There’s still plenty of light left in this day. I can only handle one thing at a time, Em. Today I told Mama about the baby. Teddy may never want to speak to me again, and I may have to live with that, but I can’t face it today. I’m going to get dressed and paint for a while.”

  “I’ll be outside waiting for you, but I’d better not come back in here and find you in bed,” Emma said.

  Sophie pointed at the door. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  Emma took her phone with her and sat down on the seat of the metal-and-wood picnic table. The sun was warm, and wildflowers dotted the landscape as far as she could see. Real grass grew in spots where the shade of the trees didn’t hinder it, and a nice breeze blew her dark hair away from her face. Everything was quiet so when her phone rang, the noise startled her. She couldn’t help but smile when Josh’s name popped up on the screen.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Just making sure that you’re all right,” Josh said.

  “We are here, and thank you for the RV,” she said. “I was getting worried when I heard about bears and javelinas.”

  “Glad you made it safely, but the place seems awfully empty without you and Sophie here,” Josh said.

  “I miss you.” The words were out of her mouth before she even realized she was thinking them.

  “Me too,” Josh said. “Even though you’ve only been gone a few hours, I’m realizing how glad I am that you won’t be leaving the park when Sophie does.”

  “Right back at you,” Emma said. “I can’t imagine living anywhere else, Josh. I’m happy there, and I don’t ever want to leave. I’m finding me even faster than I thought I would or could. I’m not sure who rescued who today. Sophie and I both needed help. I drove for the first time in years, and she’s already feeling better.”

  “That’s wonderful. I’ll go tell Arty and Filly. They’re both working behind their trailers today. Call me tonight?” he asked.