The Dissolution of Unrequited (The Science of Unrequited Book 4)

by Len Webster

  “Which is fine,” Alex said, “but my place here at MIT isn’t guaranteed. You said I’d have to apply again. I have applied, and I was admitted. I had recommendations. I worked with a Nobel Prize winning physicist. I’m sorry, but why do I have to reapply when other colleges allow their students to defer their studies?” Heat rose in her chest as her eyes stung.

  Oh, God.

  Don’t cry, Alex.

  It seemed her hormones were all over the place. For weeks, she found herself upset more often. But this time, she was devastated and on the brink of erupting in tears.

  MIT was her dream.

  And now that she had it, it was being ripped from her.

  “Miss Parker, this is MIT. We’re the number one ranked university for a reason. We want to make sure that when you come back to us, you are devoted and determined. That is why we ask you to resubmit your application.”

  Alex let out a shaky breath as she blinked her tears back. “I’m sorry to get emotional about this, but MIT has been my dream since I saw Professor Yates speak at the Smithsonian when I was a little girl. I’ve wanted MIT for so long …”

  But maybe MIT isn’t the dream.

  It’s always been my dream to be a physicist.

  She sat there, staring at Dean Carey.

  Maybe it was a sign that she and MIT weren’t meant to be.

  “I recommend you take the year off, Miss Parker, and spend time with your child. I can assure that if we were to receive your application again, you would be accepted. We just have to follow protocol, and unfortunately, that doesn’t help you.”

  Slowly getting up from the uncomfortable chair, she held out her hand to him. “I understand, Dean Carey.” She set her free palm on her stomach as the dean shook her hand. “Thank you so much for your time.”

  He nodded and then released her hand. “You are exactly who MIT looks for in a student, Miss Parker. Please, I urge you to apply for next year.”

  She made no promises as she smiled and made her way out of his office, feeling lost but somehow liberated knowing that MIT was unattainable. As she opened the door, she realized that MIT was never the dream. She had been inspired by a man who had passion for science and not the educational institution he lectured at.

  The dream was and had always been to be a physicist.

  Just like Duke ended up being her dream after she had lost MIT.

  Evan: AJ, do you want me to leave Fenway to pick you up? Is your meeting with the dean of admissions over? How did it go?

  Alex stared at her boyfriend’s text message and frowned. She hated that she’d disappoint him with the news. Hated the idea of telling him that all his hard work and sacrifices were for nothing. She wouldn’t be able to start her Ph.D. this school year. In fact, Alex wasn’t even sure if she’d reapply. Dean Carey had been right about one thing. She would spend the year she was supposed to be doing her Ph.D. raising her daughter.

  That was her plan.

  It had always been the plan.

  Her Ph.D. could wait so she could welcome and love her Little Atom.

  Alex: Hey. How’s work? Don’t worry about picking me up at MIT. I took a cab. I’m not home right now, but I will be soon. I just needed to go somewhere to think.

  Evan: Are you okay? AJ, I can come pick you up.

  Alex: I know you can, but I’m fine. The meeting didn’t go our way. They revoked my Ph.D. admission, and I’ll have to reapply for the next school year. And before you go insane, it’s okay. My Ph.D. isn’t important right now. Our daughter is. And even if I started in the spring, she’d only be four months, Evan. That’s too soon. I’ll call you when I’m done thinking. I love you.

  Evan: I can’t believe they revoked your admission. That’s not right. Call me when you’re ready. I love you, too, AJ.

  Satisfied that Evan at least sounded calm in his text messages, she slid her phone into her purse. Then she knocked on the classroom door, relieved that the hallway of her old high school was air conditioned. It was the middle of summer, and it was hot. So hot that Alex wore a thin floral maxi dress. It wasn’t too casual, but fancy enough for her appointment with the dean of admission at MIT. Alex turned the door handle and opened the door, stepping into the old classroom where she had spent so much of her time in high school.

  “Alex?” Mr. Miller, her former physics teacher, asked as he got up from the barstool he sat on. “Oh my goodness, look at you.”

  “Hello, Mr. Miller. The lady at the office said you were on lunch and would be in your classroom. I thought I’d come visit,” she said, closing the door behind her. And on instinct, she pressed her palm to her stomach. She was a lot heavier now that she was inching to the seventh month mark. But her third trimester consisted of being more tired than nauseated. At least all her food cravings outweighed the terrible morning sickness of her first and second trimester.

  Mr. Miller walked toward her and carefully led her to the barstool he had been sitting on. “I’ll go grab one of the kids’ seat.” Seconds later, he pulled a chair close to hers as they sat at his desk. “You have that glow.”

  Alex let out a small laugh as she set her purse on his desk. “I get that a lot. How are you? How’s summer school going?”

  “It’s good. I have a lot of bright kids this year but they are not applied. Mainly some of the upcoming athletes who failed tests,” Mr. Miller said. “I can’t believe you’re pregnant.”

  “Yeah,” she breathed as she cradled her stomach. “Mum said she accidentally told you.”

  “She didn’t mean to tell me. I was ordering a batch of cupcakes and we were talking about how proud we were of you. She was just so excited.”

  She brushed her hair away from her face and smiled. “No, don’t be sorry. We slowly told everyone. But being home means being back in the Red Sox spotlight, so we’ve tried to be careful.”

  His brow arched, a smirk on his face. Her high school teacher knew, but he just wanted her to confirm it. “We?”

  Laughing, she glanced down at her baby bump and then back at her favorite teacher. In her years since she had graduated from high school, so many brilliant academics had taught Alex—Dr. Rodahawe included—but Mr. Miller was still the man who inspired her to continue and embrace her love of physics.

  “Yes,” she confirmed. “Evan and I are having a girl.”

  “Wow,” he breathed in awe. “You and Evan Gilmore.”

  Alex smiled, unable to help the flutter in her chest. “Yeah, me and Evan Gilmore. If you had told me when I was a senior that we’d end up together, live in Zürich for a year, and then have a baby together, I would have never believed you.”

  “I’m so happy for you, Alex. I always thought you two would end up together. It’s just meant to be. So how was working with Dr. Rodahawe?” He straightened his spine, curiosity blazing in his eyes.

  “Amazing. He offered me a three-year contract with the institute, but I turned it down before I even found out I was pregnant. I learned a lot in Switzerland. I also learned that in the end, I love Evan so much more than science. He gives me purpose and a sense of home. And well, I’m very happy with my life.” Content filled her voice as it did her heart.

  She was happy.

  She had been since she and Evan got back together.

  “That’s great,” her former teacher said with a smile. “So what’s next for you?”

  Alex bit her lip as her thumbs caressed her stomach. She tilted her head and then released her lip. “Well, I finished my velocity formula before I left Switzerland over four months ago. It’s a new formula that calculates maximum velocity in airplane engines. It also calculates breaking point tension in engines. So the point before an aircraft can stall during high speed. My formula works in conjunction with Dr. Rodahawe’s. And that’s it right now.”

  “That’s all?”

  She sighed. “I actually just
came from MIT. I got accepted into the Ph.D. program, but with my due date being the start of the fall semester, there’s no way I can start this year or even in the spring. They’re reallocating my funding and have asked that I apply for the next fall semester.”

  Mr. Miller’s eyes widened in shock as his jaw dropped. “What?”

  “Yeah, they recommended I take a year off since I’m going to be a new mum. I understand why; it’s just frustrating. I don’t know why I thought MIT would …” Alex let out a short laugh. “I don’t know why I thought they’d treat me like I won a Nobel Prize. I’m sure if I had, they might have let me.”

  “You could contest it,” he stated.

  “I know,” Alex agreed. “But in a way, they’re right. Even if they allowed me to start in the spring, my daughter would only be four months old, and it’s way too soon. I’ll just apply for the next school year.”

  His brows furrowed as his lips pursed. Then he inhaled a deep breath and said, “Why don’t you try another college? I know a lot of colleges would want you. There’s always Harvard.”

  “Harvard?”

  He nodded. “You got into Harvard for your undergrad. There’s also Boston University and Northeastern—assuming you’d like to stay in Massachusetts.”

  She had options.

  She had always had options outside of MIT.

  And they were great options.

  “I did get into Harvard. Do you think if I applied, I’d get in?”

  His lips stretched into a wider grin. “I do.”

  “Harvard is an Ivy League school. Second in ranking behind MIT in physics,” she mumbled, mulling over her options.

  “I really think you would get into Harvard, but you have time to make up your mind. And I feel like I should give you full disclosure.”

  “Full disclosure?” she asked, raising her brow at him.

  Mr. Miller pressed his lips into a tight line before he said, “I think you’d get in because I know what kind of student you are, Alex. I know how hard working and dedicated you are. I know just what kind of recommendations you come with and what you strive to achieve. I might not be dean of admissions, but as of September, I will be one of the physics professors at Harvard University.”

  “Are you serious?” Alex blurted out, in shock.

  He laughed. “I got the job before summer but have stayed to finish up with my summer classes. The professor I’m taking over for got a job offer at the Smithsonian. He recommended me, so I interviewed with Harvard. My old colleague at MIT actually was my recommendation. So if you do consider Harvard, Alex, I would love to be your Ph.D. advisor. No pressure, of course. But if MIT is still your dream, I say go for it.”

  “Congratulations, Mr.—sorry, Professor. That’s incredible. I am so proud of you.”

  He blushed. “Not as proud as I am of you, Alex. You were my highlight of my high school teaching career. Not only did you get into five of the eight Ivy League schools, but you also followed your heart and pursued science, and it took you all the way to Switzerland. I think you should let your love of science guide you. You’ll get into your Ph.D. Any school you choose would be lucky to have you.”

  “And Harvard and its students are lucky to have you, Professor Miller.”

  It was after three, and an hour since Alex had left Mr. Miller’s classroom. In a few months, he would leave behind his position as a high school physics teacher and become a professor at one of the most prestigious universities in the world.

  Harvard was an option.

  But for Alex, her plans for further education were put on hold.

  And as she sat on the bleachers of her high school’s baseball field, she smiled. Motherhood was what she wanted. With Mr. Miller, she felt a sense of guilt in her heart. She didn’t want her career to dictate her life. She didn’t want her daughter to suffer because she wanted a Ph.D. Not in the way Evan had suffered when his parents chose their careers and Chicago over him and Kyle.

  Alex would follow her parents’ footsteps. Her mother put her restaurant and bakery dreams on hold the moment Alex was born. And she would do the same for Little Atom.

  “AJ?”

  She turned her head away from the ballpark to find her boyfriend climbing up the bleachers. Her heart fluttered in her chest, knowing he had rushed to see her after she called him. He turned and made his way down her row, sitting next to her. Alex wrapped her arms around his arm and rested the side of her face on his shoulder. “Hey, how was work?”

  He hummed as his palm settled on her thigh. “Good. They want to test out a new season ticket holder card program. It could do well with fans, but I suggested we hold off until next season. At least then we can fix the bugs. How was your afternoon with Mr. Miller? Are you okay with what happened at MIT?”

  “I’m okay with what happened. It’s protocol, so I understand. It would be hard to go straight into my Ph.D. with a newborn. Plus, it would make being a TA difficult.” She took her eyes from the home plate and glanced up at her boyfriend. “Mr. Miller is actually going to be Professor Miller of Harvard University come September.”

  He gawked at her. “No way!”

  Alex laughed. “Yeah. He is. He said he’d be honored to be my advisor if I should decide Harvard was for me rather than MIT.”

  “You love Mr. Miller. He’s always supported your love of science.”

  “He has,” she said with a smile. “And you have, too.” Then she craned her neck and looked back out at the ballpark. “I used to sit here and watch you practice and play. Even in the snow.”

  Evan squeezed her thigh gently. “You were always my biggest supporter.”

  “I always will be,” she said in a small voice as she lifted her chin to see those beautiful light brown eyes. “During senior year, I was sitting here in the snow watching you. Hunter came and sat next to me. Do you remember that day?”

  He nodded. “We picked up all the baseballs together.”

  “We did. He sat here with me and asked me when I’d tell you that I was in love with you.”

  “He did?” Evan’s face paled with disbelief.

  Alex nodded. “Yeah. I asked him not to tell you. I was scared for you to know because I didn’t want to lose you. Because you were my best friend first.”

  His hand left her thigh and reached up and thumbed away her tears. “I was scared to admit that I loved you, too, AJ. I was stupid. I was scared of how I felt about you. Sometimes, when I wake up and see you, I’m scared I’ll lose you again. It makes me thankful when you hold me, and I’m reminded that I still have you after all these years—after everything.”

  Untangling her arms from around his, she reached up and pressed her palms to his jaw, steadying his face. “I couldn’t imagine the rest of my life without you. I wouldn’t have spent three years away from you. I won’t ever.”

  “I know,” he whispered with a glint in his eyes.

  Alex brought his face closer to hers and pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss. “We better go home before we have dinner with my parents and Seb.”

  “Speaking of parents. Mine want to fly in from Chicago for the birth. They wanted to know if it was okay with you and Kyle.”

  “Are you okay with it?” she asked as she dropped her hands from his face.

  Evan made a small nod. “They’ve kept in touch since I left Illinois. But it’s about you and Kyle. They want to be in our daughter’s life, AJ. Kyle would like to see them. If you’re not comfortable, it can just be me and him.”

  She shook her head. “It’s fine with me as long as it’s okay with you.”

  “You’re amazing. Oh, and Susan wants to know if we had any names in mind for Little Atom.”

  Alex smiled. It was a topic they always glanced over. They didn’t want to put pressure on her name, but Alex knew her daughter’s name.

  Had known it for some time.<
br />
  “I have an idea of some. You?”

  “I know her surname will be Gilmore.”

  Laughing, Alex reached over and picked up her purse from next to her just as Evan stood from the bleachers. Then he held out his hand and helped her up with such ease. Whenever Alex had to get herself up, it took some effort and energy.

  “What if we hyphenated her last name? She can be a Parker-Gilmore,” Alex suggested as she slung her purse strap on her shoulder.

  She had expected to offend Evan with that suggestion. Instead, he grasped her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. “If that’s what you want, she can be a Parker-Gilmore.”

  He said it with so much softness and adoration that her heart melted.

  She loved this man.

  So much.

  It had always been his love she wanted, needed, adored the most.

  “She’s a Gilmore,” she clarified. “Just like her daddy.”

  99 Es

  einsteinium

  ALEX

  Two months before Alex’s Boston return

  “Thank you,” Alex said, handing her cab driver the cash she had taken out of the machine at the airport. She had almost hailed a cab outside of Logan International Airport when she had realized that she only had Swiss franc and no American currency.

  “Hey, congratulations on the baby brother, and welcome home, Little Miss Red Sox.”

  Alex flinched. It had been a long time since she had heard her Red Sox nickname. It had been stupid of her to think it had faded away while she was in Switzerland. That Angie had taken all the unwanted and unwarranted spotlight from Alex. But she was wrong.

  “Thanks,” Alex said as she slid out of the cab, dragging her suitcase from the seat with her. When she closed the cab door behind her, she rushed toward the entrance, the glass automatic doors widening for her. She bolted to the reception desk jet-lagged, tired, and out of breath.