Unchained Memories

by Karen D. Badger

  “Do you have to work today?” Billie asked.

  “No, but I’m on the schedule for surgery tomorrow morning. I’ll miss your morning PT.”

  Billie fell silent for a few minutes. “Cat, about Jen… She seems kind of, I don’t know, too comfortable with us—especially with you.”

  Cat wasn’t sure where this was headed, but she had an idea. “Yes, she is. She’s a good friend.”

  “How good?”

  Cat’s gut flip-flopped. Don’t you dare insist I break off that friendship. “Very good. She loves both of us a great deal. Why do you ask?”

  Billie shrugged. “I don’t know. Forget I asked.”

  Cat rose from the bed and knelt in front of Billie. She touched the side of Billie’s face. “You wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t important to you. Please tell me what’s wrong. What makes you so uncomfortable with Jen?”

  “Sh... she loves you.”

  “Yes, she does. She loves you and our children too. She’s a good friend to both of us.”

  “She’s a big flirt.”

  “You’ve got that right.” Cat laughed. “I have to admit she’s an incredibly beautiful and sexy woman, and she uses that to her advantage, but before you call the kettle black, dear heart, you should look in the mirror. I don’t know who flirts more, Jen with you, or you with Jen.”

  “I flirt with Jen?”

  Cat was amused by the shocked expression on Billie’s face. “Oh, yeah.”

  “Are you jealous about that?”

  “Not in the least. In fact, I couldn’t be happier about our relationship with Jen.”

  “You think she’s sexy?”

  “Oh yeah—she’s very sexy.”

  “What about her do you find sexy?”

  “Billie, where is this going?”

  “Answer me. What about her do you find attractive?”

  Cat sat back on her heels. “Well, she’s cute with those bouncy blonde ringlets and the cleft in her chin. She has a beautiful smile and a wonderful sense of humor. The whole package is very attractive, but I think her best feature is her personality. She’s warm and caring and the most genuine friend I’ve ever had.”

  A play of emotions crossed Billie’s face. Cat saw doubt and something else she couldn’t identify.

  “Are you all right, Billie? Is there something else you want to say to me?”

  Billie seemed as though she were going to speak before she shrugged it off and shook her head.

  “Good. Now where’s that gorgeous smile I love so much?”

  Billie complied.

  “My God, you’re beautiful.”

  “You’re kind of easy on the eyes yourself, Red.”

  “Thanks.” Cat was thrilled that Billie used one of her favorite nicknames. She cried from happiness, and Billie joined her.

  Doc walked in on the crying women. “Dang blast it. What is it about you two? You make a guy want to go out and buy stock in Kleenex.”

  Cat and Billie both laughed.

  “That’s better. Now, how are you feeling today?” he asked Billie.

  “Not too bad. Sore, but okay.”

  “Daddy, you should have seen her in PT this morning. She took a few steps on her own at the parallel bars.”

  “That’s wonderful news. Won’t be long now, and you’ll be able to go home.”

  Billie tensed at this proclamation.

  Cat placed a hand on her arm. “Billie, are you all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. I just... I just haven’t thought much about going home yet.”

  Cat rubbed her hand up and down the length of Billie’s arm. “I understand. It’ll be all right. I promise.”

  “It’ll be another week or so,” Doc said. “A lot can happen with your memory in that amount of time. Until then, we need to concentrate on getting your body healthy. Now, I’m going to remove the bandage from your head.”

  Billie touched the bandage. “No,” she said.

  Doc raised his eyebrows. “I need to check the incision. We need to expose it to the air to allow it to heal.”

  “I... I...”

  “Billie,” Cat said. “It’ll be okay. Trust me. Trust us.”

  Billie held Cat’s gaze for long moments before she lowered her hand. “All right.”

  A few minutes later, the bandage was removed. Billie ran her hand up and over the short bristles of hair growing back in. Her eyes were wide with emotion.

  Cat once again knelt in front of Billie and took her face in both hands. “Billie, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, with or without hair. It’s okay, love. It’ll grow back.”

  Billie began to cry.

  “Okay, now, let me examine that incision,” Doc said. “It appears to be healing nicely. Oh, and before I forget…” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a baseball cap. “Here. A present from Seth. He’d like you to wear it so he’ll be on your mind, so to speak.” Doc chuckled at his own joke.

  “Oh, that was bad, Daddy. Don’t give up your day job,” Cat said.

  Billie’s tears turned to laughter, and she slipped the cap onto her head.

  Billie and Cat sat side by side on the edge of the bed while Dr. Connor sat opposite them in the chair.

  “Okay, ladies,” Dr. Connor said. “It’s obvious to me that a lot has changed since the last time we met. Here you are, sitting side by side, shoulders touching, and no effort to break the contact. Tell me—what’s been happening?”

  Billie nodded at Cat and visually gave her permission to speak for both of them.

  “Well,” Cat said, “I brought the kids in to visit a couple of days ago, and Seth spurred some memory recall. Billie knows who she is now, and who Seth is, but the memories stop five years ago— just before we met.”

  Dr. Connor looked at Billie. “Tell me how you felt when your memories returned.”

  “Confused, angry, anxious—and relieved Seth was all right.”

  Dr. Connor raised her eyebrows in question.

  “Seth had been in the hospital,” Cat said, “in a coma for six months by the time we met. He was hit by a car getting off the school bus when he was six years old.”

  “Billie, how do you feel now? About your life, about Cat, about the future?”

  “I’m afraid,” Billie said. “I still don’t remember Cat. I… I’m afraid I’ll never remember her.”

  “And the future?” Dr. Connor asked.

  Billie looked at Cat with sadness in her eyes and back at Dr. Connor. “I... I don’t know. Cat wants me to go home with her, but… I don’t know if I can.”

  Cat sat next to Billie, spine ramrod straight, eyes closed, and chin lowered to her chest.

  “Billie, what will you do if you don’t go home with Cat?”

  “Find an apartment, I guess. One big enough for Seth and me.”

  “No. Seth is my son too. Please don’t take him away from me.” Cat’s eyes misted up.

  Billie reached for her hand.

  “The children won’t understand if you don’t come home,” Cat said. “Seth knows you’re his mother, and Tara knows she belongs to me. She was four years old when we met, but Skylar… well, you were there when Sky was born. You cut the umbilical cord. You’ve been her mother from the moment she took her first breath. Skylar’s birth made us a real family. You adopted her and Tara, and I adopted Seth. As far as the children are concerned, we are both their mothers, in every way. They’ll be devastated if you don’t come home, and they’ll be devastated if you take Seth away from us.”

  A variety of emotions played across Billie’s face with each new piece of information about their lives together.

  “I’m sorry, Cat. I don’t know what else to do.”

  Cat touched the side of Billie’s face. “Please don’t decide right now. Give me a chance to prove you belong with us—both you and Seth. No pressure. I promise. Give it some time, and after a while, if you still want to leave, I won’t stop you, no matter how much it hurts. Okay?”
>
  Billie looked at Cat for a long time. A slight nod was her only answer.

  “Thank you,” Cat whispered.

  Chapter 30

  Laura set the brakes on the chair while Billie grasped the rails. In one smooth motion, Billie pulled her way into a standing position.

  Cat stood against the wall on the opposite side of the room.

  “Okay, Miss La-Dee-Da, let’s see how you do through the bars,” Joseph said.

  Billie stood face-to-face with Joseph. “You just watch me, Ivan.”

  Joseph chuckled as Billie struggled to put her legs into motion.

  Fifteen minutes later, she made it all the way through the bars, with just Laura’s gentle support on the belt to help her along. As she took her last step at the end, Cat jumped up and yelled, “Yes,” with her arms extended high into the air. The pride and love Billie saw in Cat’s eyes warmed her heart.

  Then, Billie did the unexpected. She turned herself around, despite protests from both Laura and Joseph, and headed back in the direction she had come. This time, after making it through the bars, she was exhausted and didn’t argue when Laura lowered her into the wheelchair.

  Cat hugged Billie. “I’m so proud of you.” She squealed when Billie pulled her down into her lap and gave Laura her cue to return to the room.

  Back in the room, Laura massaged the kinks out of Billie’s muscles while Cat watched. When the massage was over, Billie touched Laura’s hand. “Do you think you can arrange a bath for me?”

  Laura snorted. “I was wondering what that smell was.”

  Billie slapped her arm.

  “Okay, okay, I give. Of course. I’ll see what I can do.” Laura walked out of the room chuckling.

  Cat waited in Billie’s room as Laura returned with an aide and lowered Billie into the warm tub. Twenty minutes later, they emerged from the bathroom, with a freshly bathed Billie in tow, and helped her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed to wait for dinner.

  “Your shirt is all wet,” Cat said to Laura.

  Laura laughed and raised her hands out to the side. “Paybacks are a bitch. My punishment for telling her she stinks.”

  Billie sat on the edge of the bed with the devil mischievously dancing in her eyes.

  Dinner was quiet. Once again, Billie offered to share her meal with Cat, and once again, Cat refused.

  “Cat, I’m worried about you.”

  “I’m fine. I’m just not hungry, that’s all.”

  “All you’ve had to eat was that donut this morning. You’ve got to eat more than that. We don’t want you getting sick as—”

  The sounds of children running down the hallway interrupted her. In seconds, three small bodies covered her bed, all clamoring to give her hugs and kisses.

  “Take it easy, rugrats, there’s plenty for all of you,” Billie said.

  “You need to be gentle with Mom,” Cat said.

  A movement in the doorway drew Billie’s attention from the children. She looked up just as Jen entered the room and took Cat into her arms from behind.

  “Hi,” Jen said.

  An intense feeling of anxiety filled Billie’s chest as she watched Cat press her head back into Jen’s shoulder. Her hands came to rest on Jen’s arms wrapped around her midsection.

  “Hi, yourself,” Cat replied.

  Billie scowled at the sight, before redirecting her attention back to the children, who were talking to her all at once.

  Jen released Cat and went over to plant a kiss on Billie’s cheek. “Hey, spike. How are you feeling?”

  I’ll spike you… right into the middle of next week, Billie thought. “I’m fine, Jen. Thanks for asking.” After a slight pause, she said, “Jen, I need you to do me a favor.”

  “Anything. Just ask.”

  “I’d like you to take Cat somewhere and make her eat.”

  “Billie,” Cat said in a deep, warning voice.

  Jen interrupted Cat. “Don’t tell me you haven’t eaten anything since that donut this morning.”

  “No she hasn’t,” Billie replied for her.

  “Damn you, Cat. Let’s go—now.” Jen dragged Cat toward the door. She stopped and looked back at Billie. “Will you be all right here with the kids?”

  “We’ll be fine. Just make her eat something.”

  “You got it,” Jen said as she dragged a protesting Cat out the door.

  By the time Cat and Jen came back, Skylar was asleep on Billie’s chest. Tara and Seth lay on each side of her watching the end of a Disney movie on TV. Billie smiled as Cat and Jen entered the room.

  “It appears like we have a casualty, Mom,” Cat said to Billie as she lifted Skylar into her arms.

  “She fell asleep about a half hour ago. Did you eat?”

  “Yes, I ate, thanks to you and that pushy bitch over there.”

  “That’s Miss Pushy Bitch, to you,” Jen replied.

  “Thanks, Jen. I appreciate it,” Billie said.

  “Anytime.”

  Cat handed Skylar to Jen. “All right, you two,” she said to Seth and Tara. “Time to head home with Jen.”

  “We’re going to Jen’s?” Seth asked.

  “Yes, you are, sweetie,” Jen replied for Cat. “Stevie and Karissa have been bugging me to invite you for a sleepover.”

  Seth and Tara rose to their knees and slid off the bed. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

  “Hugs and kisses first,” Cat said, and the children climbed back onto the bed and showered Billie with hugs.

  “Let’s go, Jen.” Seth headed toward the door.

  “Hey, what about me?” Cat asked.

  Seth and Tara hugged Cat and once again waited at the door. “Come on, Jen, we want to play with Stevie and Karissa.”

  “Can you feel the love?” Jen said.

  Cat hugged and kissed her. “Thank you, Jen. You’re a good friend, even if you did collaborate with the pain-in-the-ass on the bed over there to make me eat.”

  “You know I’d do anything for you two.”

  “I know. We love you too. Thanks again.”

  “No problem. Are you rugrats ready to go?”

  Seth and Tara responded by pushing Jen toward the door.

  “Okay, I get the message. I’ll see you tomorrow, Cat.”

  Cat sat on the edge of Billie’s bed. Billie’s drooping eyelids made it obvious the day’s PT had taken a lot out of her. “Are you tired, my love?”

  Billie responded with a nod.

  Cat kissed her forehead. “Sleep then. I’ll sit with you for a while then climb into my bed. I’m kind of beat too.”

  Soon, Billie was asleep. Cat pulled the blankets around her and kissed her on the cheek. “Pleasant dreams,” she whispered. She changed into her nightshirt and climbed into her cot.

  Chapter 31

  Cat rose the next morning and showered while Billie was still asleep. She scribbled a few words on a sheet of paper and left it propped up on the bedside table before leaving for work.

  About an hour later, Billie was awakened by a nurse who reminded her that breakfast would be arriving soon. She shifted into a sitting position and spotted the note on the table.

  It read, “Billie, I didn’t have the heart to wake you this morning. You’re a beautiful angel when you sleep. I’m off to work. God, how I hate Mondays. I’m sorry I’ll miss your morning PT. I’ll see you sometime this afternoon. Keep your chin up and don’t be too hard on Mr. Terrible. Down deep I don’t think he’s such a bad guy. Say hi to Laura for me. I’ll see you later. Good luck today. Love, Cat.”

  Billie sighed as she refolded the paper and put it back on the table.

  She maneuvered herself into a sitting position just in time for the cafeteria attendant to deliver breakfast. Before long, Laura appeared and escorted her to PT.

  Laura positioned her chair in front of the parallel bars. Billie reached forward, grasped the rails, and pulled herself to a standing position. She kept her gaze trained on her feet as she made her way through the bars. Near th
e end, she saw Joseph standing there, sporting his usual arrogant pose.

  “Are you ready for a new challenge?” he asked.

  “Bring it on.”

  Joseph stepped aside and exposed a metal walker to Billie’s view.

  Billie eyed the walker suspiciously. “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Do I look like I’m kidding?”

  Billie noted the stern expression on his face. “No, I guess you’d need a sense of humor for that.” She eyed the walker again. “It doesn’t seem very sturdy. Are you sure it’ll hold my weight?”

  “It’s not supposed to hold your weight. It’s to teach you balance. Now, reach out and grasp it. Laura will keep the wheelchair behind you.”

  Billie released one of the parallel bars, grabbed the walker, and repeated the motion with the other hand. She found herself stuck in a bent-over position, arms reaching forward, holding onto the walker with her hands. Her legs were too far behind her to stand upright. Panic rose in her chest, and her arms trembled with exertion.

  Joseph stepped up to the front of the walker and pressed down on it with his hands. He bent over close to her ear. “Okay, Billie. The walker won’t move. I’ve got it. Now, move your feet forward, one at a time, until you’re standing upright.”

  Billie had no choice but to trust him and Laura, who still held the chair close behind her. She concentrated all her effort on moving her feet and soon found herself standing within the arc of the walker. Afraid of tipping the walker over by leaning too far forward, backward, or sideways, she was forced to concentrate on maintaining her balance. She wavered but managed to keep herself upright for several minutes before Joseph encouraged her to sit down in the chair and relax. This process was repeated several times, until Joseph called a halt and ordered her back to her room to rest.

  At about the same time Billie was heading for her morning PT, Cat reported for a briefing on the surgery she was scheduled to anesthetize. She sat at the conference table and reviewed X-rays while listening to the chief surgeon discuss the patient and describe the surgery. Without warning, she felt a burning sensation rise from her neck and into her head. A loud ringing in her ears drowned out the droning voice of the surgeon. A sheen of sweat broke out all over her body. Nausea overtook her. She struggled to her feet, intending to rush off to the bathroom before she became sick in front of her colleagues. Halfway to her feet, she collapsed.