When the Dead Have It Easy

by B. L. Brunnemer

  I hit the flipper harder than I needed to. “Don’t bother waiting for me.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m...” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. Miles is sorry too, he just didn’t understand why you were angry.”

  “I figured.” I hit the right flipper. “I just needed to calm down.”

  “I wasn’t trying to blame you.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

  “You’re right, it is my fault.” I hit the flipper again. “But what happened at the table...”

  “Come on.”

  I stopped playing. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I shook my head, already tired. “You guys are at each other’s throats. Over the smallest things-”

  “What did you expect to happen?” His hard voice had me looking up at him.

  It wasn’t hard to answer. “I had hoped that it wouldn’t get this bad.”

  Asher shook his head. “Everything is going to be different, Ally. You said so yourself.”

  “I know. But I didn’t think...” I met his gaze. “I didn’t think you guys were going to change, at least not this much. But you're so angry...” I shook my head and looked down at the pinball machine.

  “That’s what happens when the girl I’m in love with is also in love with my best friends. I get angry.” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe he had to explain it to me.

  I turned to look up at him. “Then be mad at me. But don’t be a jerk. And not to them. They’re just like you right now. Angry and frustrated. But they’re your best friends. You guys seem to keep forgetting that.”

  “Bring it up tonight at our meeting.” He gestured toward the front of the restaurant “Now, come eat lunch before Zeke storms over here and drags you back.”

  We left the arcade and headed back to the table. The guys were talking about the climb tomorrow when I sat beside Zeke on the outside of the booth. I didn’t say anything, I just tried to eat my lunch. Asher sat down across from me in silence. The guys talked, the twins cracked jokes while I stared out the window and watched the people walk by. As I waited for my anger to fade, I tried to figure out what was bothering me about the street to distract myself. I slowly ate lunch. Well, tried to. I ended up getting a box to take back for Hades.

  We were on our way back to camp when it hit me. “That’s it!”

  “What’s it?” Zeke asked as he turned off the highway.

  “Something has been bugging the crap out of me since we were in town.” I shook my head. “What was missing from that crowd?”

  Miles shrugged. “I... don’t know.”

  “What have you guys seen in every crowd since Boulder?” I waited for them to get it.

  “How could I not see that?” Miles got it first.

  “There weren’t any ghosts.” Zeke was the first to say it.

  “Exactly.” I looked through the window at the woods. “I haven’t seen a ghost since we got here. Where are they?”

  “They could have left,” Miles offered. “They’re not forced to stay put anymore.”

  “Every single one?” I shook my head. That’s too out there for me. Where would ghosts be... I snorted. The last time I had to hunt down a ghost was… Never. I’ve never had to find a ghost in my life. They always found me. They always found me... "They’re just not here. If they’re not finding me... They’re not here.”

  Zeke followed Asher’s truck into the parking lot and parked next to Rory’s truck. “Rory’s back.”

  Back? Oh, yeah. Tara. “At least Tara will be gone soon.” I got out of the truck. Hades ran toward me and skidded to a stop so I could give him loves. I opened the box and handed Hades the rest of my pizza. He wiggled his butt and ran back to sit next to Zeke with his prize.

  When I started toward the campsite, I spotted Tara fuming at the picnic table.

  My uncle got out of my camp chair and gave me a strained smile. “Hey, kid. How’re you feeling?” The guys sat down in their chairs.

  I shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I’m worried about what I’ll raise tonight.”

  Rory gestured at my tent. “Since your tent flap is busted, I’ll leave you my tent for the rest of the trip. It’s got more room anyway.”

  I gave him a smile. “Thanks.”

  “We need to talk, kid.” Rory’s voice was dour. The sound of it alone made my stomach drop.

  “Sure.” I gestured at the trail around the lake. “Let’s take a walk.”

  “Good idea.”

  I joined Rory on the trail. Hades caught up and rubbed against my hip. Rory shoved his hands into his pockets as we walked down the path. The silence hung thick in the air.

  Which was fine with me. Something told me, I didn’t want to know what he was going to tell me.

  When we reached the picnic table he stopped. “Sit down, kid.”

  My stomach became a rock as I sat on top of the table. I rested my elbows on my knees and waited. Hades jumped up and sat on the bench between my legs, his head immediately nudging under my hand for scratches.

  Rory took a deep breath and met my eyes. “Ordin’s sentencing was today.”

  I tried to take a deep breath. “How long did he get?” My skin crawl as I waited.

  “You remember how his hearing was closed to the public?” Rory’s face was carefully empty. I recognized it, it was his cop face.

  I nodded slowly. “Yeah, his family wanted to keep it quiet, supposedly to avoid causing me further distress.” It was complete bullshit, they just didn’t want their precious name smeared around town.

  Rory’s shoulders rose as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It wasn’t a trial. It was plea hearing. He made a deal with the D.A.”

  That couldn’t be all. Rory wouldn’t be this angry if that was it. I tilted my head to the side and surveyed my uncle. His eyes were harder than I’d ever seen before. “Why didn’t they tell us?”

  Rory crossed his arms over his chest as he clenched his jaw. “His parents have some political pull in town. That’s how. They wanted the media circus gone, and to keep everything quiet so as not to affect his future.”

  “His future?” It was a hit to the chest driving all the air out of my lungs. “What?”

  His raging eyes met mine. “I know, kid.”

  If this was what they were concerned about… “I’m the one who got the shit kicked out of me. I’m the one who was in the fucking hospital, and they’re worried about his future?”

  “It’s fucked up, Lexie. It’s so fucked up.” He stepped closer. “I’m sorry, the DA and the judge agreed. There’s nothing we can do now.”

  My eyes burned. A heavy weight settled in my chest as the shadow of a nightmare loomed over my shoulder. “How long did he get?”

  Rory’s eyes met mine. “I’m sorry, Lexie.”

  A low ringing began in my ears as I moved past Hades, put my feet on the ground and stood up. “How long?”

  He unclenched his jaw. “Five years in a psychiatric hospital.”

  Five years? That’s it? Use your head, Lexie. Think! “And he has to serve all five years?”

  Rory’s face became pained, the lines around his eyes grew deeper. “Not if they determine that he’s not a danger to anyone.”

  Rage boiled inside me, white hot and roaring. It was different than all the other times… Where before I would have felt eerily quiet and calm… now there were flames charring the inside of my chest. Threatening to engulf me, burn me from the inside out. I’d never felt anything like it… The ringing in my ears continued as my eyes unfocused.

  “With his parents’ influence, he’ll be out in two years at the most.” Rory stepped closer. “I spoke to the judge and he has promised me he will serve at least a year.”

  “In a hospital,” I rasped through my dry throat as I wrapped my arms around my stomach.

  “Yes. In a hospital.”

  I shook my head as it hit me. “So. It didn’t make a difference.” My eyes filled as I looked
up at him. “It didn’t matter that he had my passport. That he beat me. That he cracked my skull. That he drugged me. That he was going to take me out of the country. None of it fucking mattered.”

  His eyes were dark as they met mine.

  “It made no difference that he touched me.” My voice cracked.

  “It did, Lexie.”

  “I might as well have kept it to myself for all the good it did.” I gestured wildly as the first cracks forming in my control. “I could have not been humiliated. Kept some fucking dignity and not had to go into a fucking station and say it over and over for no fucking reason.” I shook my head. “The damage he did… none of it mattered when his parents waved their money.”

  He stepped closer. “It did. I think that’s the only reason he got a sentence at all.”

  I shook my head. It really didn’t fucking matter…

  “I’m sorry. If we had known sooner…” Rory stopped talking. There wasn’t much he could say anyway.

  I tried to push it all back behind a door. So, I gave him an empty smile. “It’s fine. It’s over. It’s time to move on.”

  “It’s okay to be mad, kid.” Rory’s voice almost broke me. Almost broke my sliver of control.

  “I know.” I don’t know how I kept my voice steady, but I did. “You should, uh, get Tara home. She was really freaked out last night and most of the day.”

  His eyes ran over me. “Lexie.”

  “I just need some time alone.”

  Rory clearly didn’t believe me but he gave me a long tight hug before he started back down the trail. I sat back down on the table, my hand finding Hades’ ears as I counted. One, two, three, four…

  I needed to hold my shit together. That white hot flame was roaring inside me, wanting out. Needing an out or I’d burst into flames. A hundred and five. A hundred and six.... Not yet. I needed to know what I was going to do before I stood up.

  By the time I reached two hundred and forty-three, I was ready to move. No, I needed to move. I got up and headed back down the trail toward camp.

  Miles jogged toward me and stopped in front of me. He didn’t hesitate, he came straight to me, his hand finding my face. “Rory told us.”

  “I’m fine.” Even my voice was flat.

  “You’re not fine.” Isaac jogged toward us. Miles dropped his hand from my face. “No one would be fine after hearing that shit.” Miles moved out of the way so Isaac could reach me. Isaac hugged me tight.

  The rage was still there. Scorching me from the inside out, I needed to get away from everyone. I pulled back from Isaac only for Ethan to shove his brother out of the way. Ethan hugged me too.

  I took a deep breath of his spicy cologne and stepped back. I didn’t want to be touched anymore. “It’s done.”

  Ethan’s eyes were worried as he dropped his arms.

  Zeke and Asher both came down the trail. I couldn’t look at Zeke. He knew what Ordin did. I just… I couldn’t deal yet.

  “It’s over and now I can move on with my life.” My voice was a bit too normal. “I’m going to go for a swim.”

  Isaac

  Lexie was still in the tent changing after pinning the broken flap closed.

  “This isn’t good,” I muttered.

  “You think?” Asher kept rubbing his neck.

  “How could they fucking do that?” Ethan began to spin his rings. Zeke was still silently looking out at the lake.

  “I don’t know.” Miles’ voice was cold.

  I didn’t care how they could do it. Right now, I was worried about Lexie. She was probably pissed as hell. Her being quiet like this… it wasn’t good.

  Lexie opened her tent flap and climbed out of the tent. She didn’t lift her gaze from the dirt as she headed for the lake. Slipping off her sandals, she folded her towel and left it next to them. She went into the lake and began to swim out. Her body made long strong strokes through the water.

  Something about the way she moved… I recognized it. “Miles, swim with her.”

  Miles turned to me and frowned. “She might need to be alone right now.”

  Lexie swam out past the no wake zone.

  “Miles.” I turned to him and met his eyes. “Trust me. Swim with her.”

  “You think she’ll do something self-destructive?” He toed off his shoes and socks.

  I shook my head. “Not on purpose. If she’s as angry as I think, she’s not feeling anything right now.”

  Nodding, Miles took off his glasses and his shirt. “She’ll swim until she can’t anymore and she won’t realize it.”

  “Then she’ll…” Ethan turned to look at her swimming out further.

  “I’ll follow further back with the ski.” I headed for the skis.

  “You’ll need two.” Asher headed for the skis too.

  “Stay far enough back to give her the feeling of being alone.” Miles handed Zeke his glasses then ran for the water.

  “Then catch up to her fast.” I moved the ski into deeper water. Miles took off like a shot. It was impressive how fast he could swim. I turned and slowly made my way out, giving Miles enough time to get closer. I followed Miles deeper into the lake. When he was within ten feet of that copper hair, both Asher and I backed off. We idled after them, simply watching as she kept swimming. How far could she go?

  Lexie

  Five fucking years! I kicked my feet harder. Pulled myself through the water a little harder. He won’t even see two in there! I turned my head to the side, breathed then moved back.

  Bone deep rage coursed through me with my pulse. It didn’t matter what he did to me! It didn’t matter if he fucked up my throat! It didn’t matter that he was guilty! It was his future that mattered! Resisting the urge to scream, I swam faster and harder. My mind shut off as my body worked harder.

  The only thing I could feel was the rage driving me to keep moving. More. I needed to move more. My arms and legs moved in a rhythm that helped the white hot flames go lower.

  Eventually, it pulled back leaving nothing. I welcomed it as it began to seep in. Dulling the fury, bit by bit. I slowed down, my arms getting heavier, my breath a little harder to get. My calves started to stiffen. My kicks grew sluggish. I stopped swimming and moved to tread water. Suddenly, nothing wanted to move. Shit! I shifted to float on my back and focused on getting my breath back. The nothing seeped through me. It washed over me, making everything seem further away. I looked up at the blue sky and took several deep breaths. Everything was quiet for now.

  “Lexie.” Miles’ voice was garbled by the water in my ears. His arm moved around my ribs, his shoulder moved under my head and lifted, making everything clearer. He pulled me against him. “Lexie?”

  “I didn’t realize how tired I was,” I whispered as he held me close. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll be able to head back.” At least, I think I could. The tightness in my thigh was telling me I was damn close to a Charley horse.

  Miles kissed my temple as his legs kept us at the surface. “That’s alright, rest.”

  I closed my eyes and focused on getting my breath back. “Where are we?”

  “Little over two miles from camp.” His arm around my ribs squeezed me.

  “Only two?” Huh. “I need to work on my cardio.” The rumble of engines came closer.

  Miles chuckled as he lifted his other arm and waved.

  The engines got louder.

  “How is she?” Isaac pulled in close to us.

  “Out of breath.” I couldn’t stop myself from being a smartass.

  I pulled away from Miles and started keeping myself above water. He kept a hand on my ribs as I swam toward the back of Isaac’s ski. I reached up, grabbed the handles and tried to pull myself up. I managed to get my knee on the back and out of the water. Barely. I climbed onto the ski while Miles swam toward Asher’s. I sat behind Isaac and draped against him. My forehead rested between his shoulder blades, already worn out again. I pressed my front against his back and wrapped my arms around his waist.

/>   He squeezed my hands. “You okay?”

  “I swam too far.” I moved to press my cheek against his back.

  “I know.” He ran his hand up and down my arm. He took his hand back and hit the accelerator. He didn’t try to go fast. In fact, I don’t think he even got the back of the ski out of the water. Which was fine with me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warmth radiating from his back.

  Asher took off with Miles back toward camp.

  “You’re pissed.” His voice carried over the engine.

  “Not anymore. Now, I’m just…” That numbness still filled me. Cold and welcoming. “Tired.”

  “You can take a nap when we get back.”

  I shook my head. It wasn’t that kind of tired.

  We rode the rest of the way back in silence. When Isaac pulled up to the shore, Ethan was waiting. Isaac shut off the engine and let me off. I waded through the water and onto the sand. Ethan handed me my towel. I wrapped it around me.

  “Go get changed. We moved your stuff into Rory’s tent.” Ethan’s eyes were warm as he handed me my sandals.

  I nodded, then headed for camp. Not looking at anyone, I went into Rory’s tent and closed the flap. When I turned back, what I found on my bed had me smiling a little. Hades was waiting, lying next to a pile of clothes. A giant black hoodie, a green t-shirt with a math equation, and two mismatched socks. A blue one with broomsticks and a red one with golden snitches. The guys… I sat down on my bed and fingered the clothes. My mind was mercifully blank for once. My anger was gone for now but it would only come back.

  “Lexie?” Miles called from outside of my tent.

  “I’m dressed, Miles.”

  Miles unzipped the flap and pushed it aside as he came in. “Are you alright?”

  I nodded.

  “Why don’t you lie down and rest?” His eyes were warm as they ran over me.

  I shook my head. I didn’t want to. I could just imagine the kind of dreams I’d have.

  Miles slipped off his sandals, then closed the flap. “If you lie down, I’ll stay with you.”

  Not caring that I was still in my swimsuit, I scooted over to give him room before lying down. He lay beside me and turned to me. His fingers stroked my face. The warmth radiating from him had me moving closer. He wrapped his arm around my waist and held me against the front of him. “Just rest for a bit.”