Lori
We never made it back out last night. Instead, we stayed in making love until we were so tired we gave in to sleep. Today, as the sunlight fills the room, I lie awake in bed rethinking Ben’s confession last night. I decide that during this trip I’ll give him all the details of my relationship with Max so he knows what he’s dealing with.
Turning on my side so I can feel him, I spoon my body against his and place a small kiss on the back of his neck. Draping my arm across his body, I pull myself closer to him until every inch of my front is pressed tightly to his back. I think he’s sleeping, but his hand reaches down and pulls my arm tighter around him. I kiss his neck again as the tenderness of this moment almost overwhelms me.
Ben turns onto his back and pulls me so that my head is on his chest and my arm is lying across his stomach. I draw small swirls on him and he glides his finger up and down my arm. With a kiss on the top of my head he asks, “What do you want to do today?” I look up into his eyes and watch as he smiles down at me.
“It doesn’t matter. What did you have in mind?” I rest my head back on his chest, perfectly content to stay like this all day.
“I want to show you want it could be like if we were together, Lori.” He kisses my head again. “I want to take you to breakfast and sit by you, free to touch you if I want to. I want to walk with you on the beach and lie with you in the sand. I want to do everything we couldn’t do before.”
I nod against his chest. “That sounds wonderful, all of it. When do you want to get the day started?”
“After we take a shower. I’ve wanted to revisit the shower with you ever since the last time we were in there together.” I prop myself up on my elbow beside him and brush his hair off his forehead.
We climb into the hot shower together and take turns soaping each other up. It isn’t overtly sexual as we discuss our busy weeks and the daily grind we’ve been living, but the tension is still there as I brush up against him or his hand slides over a particularly sensitive area. It feels so domesticated and yet exciting at the same time. We’ve begun to find our groove together, and the safeness of that thought warms my heart.
We dress for the day and walk down to a small café near the sand. The patio is small but it allows us to watch the waves crashing on the shore. I watch him as he takes in the beach, thinking to myself that telling him the story now will ruin this. I decide it can wait for later, and I feel slightly guilty at pushing it off. Ben scoots his chair closer to me and places his hand casually on my thigh.
This is what it would feel like to be with him in the open. The light touch of his hand on my thigh anchors me, creating a feeling of protection and safety. I put my hand on top of his and we eat our breakfast in the light of the sun, a few feet away from the powerful ocean. When we’re finished we make our way down to the shore and leave our shoes just under the pier.
“I want to take you out tonight, Lori. Did you bring anything fancy you could wear?” I nod and he smiles back at me. “Great. I have a reservation booked at six thirty for dinner and drinks at a great little restaurant. I thought maybe we could eat and then listen to the piano player in the lounge.” It sounds very romantic coming from a man who’s known for spending very little time with a woman outside of bed.
I wonder if he’s capable of making that change for me. Will he resent having to be faithful if he grows bored of me? I shake the thought away and allow him to pull me in for a kiss on the beach. He doesn’t care who sees us as he wraps his arms around my waist and presses his body to mine. I let go of my need to hide and put all of my passion into the kiss. When we finally come up for air, I feel lightheaded from the rush of lust.
We spend some time wandering through the shops in the small town. Finally, we make it back to our hotel after eating a small lunch and returning to the beach to watch people frolic in the water. It’s been the most wonderful day I have spent with him yet. As the time slips away from me, I feel increasingly guilty for not telling him my story, but each time I think I can do it, I find myself making an excuse as to why it isn’t a good time.
Ben looks phenomenal in his dark suit, and I can see in his face that he appreciates my skin-hugging silver dress. It’s strapless, and the bodice folds on itself and is decorated with small crystals and beads. I’m wearing a pair of nude thigh-high stockings that clip to my black garter belt. The outfit is finished off with strappy silver heels and a small diamond necklace. I decide to wear my hair down in big curls, and I don’t miss the catch in his breath when I walk out of the bathroom where I’ve been finishing my makeup.
The limo picks us up at the back of the hotel, and I’m instantly heated with thoughts of our last ride. Ben’s hand rests on my thigh again, but only for a minute before he slides it up higher. I watch his face as he curiously explores the stocking until he finds the place where it attaches to the belt. “That’s seriously the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” he says as he snaps the strap against my bare thigh and allows his hand to fall closer to my core.
I close my eyes and lean back in the seat, allowing my knees to fall open and his hand to continue its path up my thigh. Just when his fingers finally reach my core, the car stops and he slips his hand out from under my dress. “We’re here. Let’s finish this on the ride home.” I nod and follow him out of the limo and into the elegant restaurant. We are led to our table and given wine menus.
No one could have written a better evening for us. The wine flows and the food is magnificent. Ben never stops touching me, never once looking around for who might see us. We order dessert and take turns feeding it to each other between sips of wine. By the time we get up from our table we’ve finished two bottles of very rich red wine. I can feel the blush caused by the alcohol on my cheeks.
Ben takes my hand and leads me to another room. I see the piano player in the corner and the small tables scattered around. We don’t move toward a table, though. Instead, we head straight for the small wooden square slightly in front of the piano. As the pianist plays a slow song, Ben takes my hand again and begins to sway with the music. I rest my head against his shoulder and think for the hundredth time today that this time with him couldn’t be any more perfect.
No one else is on the dance floor but we don’t mind. The room is quiet with just the low buzz of people having polite conversation at their tables. We’re with the elite in this town, a place where people know how to mind their business, or at least pretend to be doing that. The clink of expensive silverware hitting china plates is the only background accompaniment to the beautiful melody from the well-practiced pianist. It’s romantic in that old, traditional vibe of a moment lost in time.
After our slow dance, Ben finds us a table and then excuses himself to use the restroom. In his absence, I make my way over to the bar to order us a drink. A young man takes the seat next to where I’m standing and beings to playfully flirt with me as the bartender fills my drinks. He asks if I’m single and I shake my head. “He’s a lucky man, then,” he says, and I watch as he looks over my head and his face almost goes white.
I can feel his presence before I see him, so I turn around just as Ben reaches me at the bar. He looks so hurt and surprised that my heart begins to race, and I quickly excuse myself with our drinks. The young man nods and turns so that he’s no longer facing me. I smile up at Ben, but he isn’t smiling back. “I got you a drink,” I say, suddenly worried about how this must have looked to him.
He takes it from my hand, never letting his eyes leave mine and downs the whole thing. Placing his empty glass on the bar he says, “We’re leaving.” I nod and finish my drink, worried that I’ve ruined the evening by allowing the young man to flirt with me. Ben’s hand clasps mine and he tugs me out of the lounge to the dark parking lot, where we wait in silence for the limo to arrive. In the darkness I turn to him and that’s when it happens.
Ben reaches up to innocently tuck my hair behind my ear but I misread his movement and flinch, tucking my face pr
otectively into my arm. It’s been a while since that ugly survival skill has shown up, but there’s no denying it now. It isn’t a small flinch, and my heart begins to pound as I uncurl myself from the helpless position. The look on his face says it all, and immediately I realize that I’ve just revealed my dirty secret whether I was ready to or not.
Ben
She flinched. Now every muscle in my body is tense as I look into her eyes. She closes them for a second and takes a big breath. When they open again, she bites her bottom lip, and I can see she’s disappointed in herself for letting me see that. My blood is boiling and my heart is beating so hard it might beat right out of my chest. We say nothing as the limo pulls up in front of us.
I open the door for her and she ducks into the back. When I step into the limo, I can see that she’s scooted all the way over to the opposite side of the seat. She’s trying so hard not to cry that my heart breaks for her. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me about this, and although I know who’s most likely to have trained that flinch, I need to know for sure.
As the driver pulls away from the curb I push the button to raise the privacy glass so we can talk without him hearing. I twist my hands in my lap trying to think of the right way to approach this. There’s no approach that feels right, and my anger has me so revved up that I don’t want to take the time to think of one.
“Was it Max?” I try to keep my anger out of my voice, but when she winces I know that I’ve failed to do so.
“Yes.” It’s a whisper. My fists clench and I do everything I can to not punch something. Right now, that would not be the right move. I nod and look at my hands clenching and unclenching. I can feel her stare on me, but I don’t want to scare her with my anger, so I keep my eyes averted.
“What did he do to you?” If he broke something I’m going to lose my shit. I hear Lori breathe in as she thinks about my question. When she hesitates longer than a few seconds to answer I turn my head so our eyes can meet. “How bad, Lori?” She shakes her head and turns her body in my direction.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m okay. I got out.”
“You’re right, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to fucking kill him whether he gave you a little push or went straight for your face. Keeping the details from me isn’t going to change my plans for him.” I make sure she knows I’m serious by the look on my face.
“Ben, it isn’t worth it.” I know she’s worried I’ll get in trouble, but she doesn’t know it would be worth it to give this asshole a little taste of what he gave her. As soon as we get up to our room, I’m going to make arrangements to make it happen.
“I decide if it’s worth it or not. He put his hands on you and I’m going to put my hands on him. That’s how this works, Lori. He will never put his hands on you again. In fact, I’m going to make sure he doesn’t get within a mile of you at any given time.” I rake my fingers through my hair and pull it slightly, leaning my head back against the back of the seat.
“That’s why I wasn’t ready for people to know about us. He thinks I left him for someone else and he’s out for blood. Mine or yours, it doesn’t matter.”
“Lori, I’m not afraid of the asshole. If you are, then it’s even more reason for me to rearrange his face. You’re coming back to my place after this trip so I can keep you close while I take care of this situation.” She nods and I can almost see the relief as she rests against the seat and closes her eyes.
“It was terrible. It didn’t start that way, but it got there pretty quickly.”
I listen to her voice and try hard to focus on what she’s saying instead of plotting his murder.
“He was charming at first, very affectionate and appreciative. We got along great but he got jealous so easily. At first it was a call on my cell phone he thought was a man. He shoved me against a wall and knocked the air from my lungs.”
I turn my head in her direction even though she keeps her head back and eyes closed. “Then,” she continues, “I came home late from work one night. He’d been drinking and was insulted I didn’t let him know I was going to be later than usual. He yelled at me and slapped my face so hard my cheek was swollen within a few seconds.
“It escalated from there. It went from a shove to a slap to full force fists. Each time he sobered up he said he was sorry and would beg me to stay. I never believed him, but I was afraid to leave. He told me he would find me and kill me. One time I decided that death would be better than living my life with him. I ran to a hotel nearby for the night and he found me.
“I remember the sound of the door being unlocked and the fear I felt when he swung it open. He’d convinced the owner I was his wife and that he wanted to surprise me. I guess that’s what I get for going to a small hotel instead of a large one with security. Anyway, he beat me to within an inch of my life. I waited for him to go to work the next day before I called my friend to come help me. We came up with a plan for my escape.
“I started hiding money and buying clothes to leave at my friend’s house. I hid weapons in each room so that I could grab them if it got bad enough. I started taking pictures of everything he did to me. I would have my friend document all of it. I had just reached a point where I felt I could get away when he started accusing me of cheating on him and knocked me down and kicked me so hard he broke my rib. That was it. I knew if I didn’t get out of there, the next time he was really going to kill me.
“When he left for work, my friend came over and we packed up all of my stuff. I took what would fit in one trip and left everything else. Nothing mattered to me as much as getting out of there. I knew he would try to find me so I made sure I left a copy of all the pictures I had been taking along with a recording I managed to get one night before he threw my purse across the room.”
I reach out and take her hand in mine. I want so badly to have the driver take us straight to his place. Instead I nod and urge her to continue. “I told him if he went after me I would go public with the pictures. Even if I couldn’t get him in court I would ruin him in his social circle and maybe even further out than that.”
“God, Lori, you should have never had to go through that. I’m going to take care of it.” She smiles at me and nods. Slowly, I bring my arm up and wrap it around her so I can pull her body close to mine. “I would never hit you. Please know that. No matter how angry I got or whatever the misunderstanding was, I would never do that.” I tip her chin up with my finger so she is looking me in the eye. “Tell me you understand that.”
Lori nods and I lightly kiss her lips. It’s a moment of tenderness in a storm of rage. This whole thing might blow up when we get back to L.A., but right now she’s safe and in my arms. Knowing this changes everything. Max has just bought himself a ticket out of our company. If his dad doesn’t understand why, then as far as I’m concerned, he can leave also. I’ll be making the calls tonight and then I’m going to work my ass off trying to convince Lori to let our relationship be out in the open.
Lori
As I turn the water on in the shower, I can hear Ben’s voice outside the bathroom door. I’m not going to try to stop him from taking care of this for me because I’m just so tired. I’ve held this in long enough and it’s time to trust someone else to take care of me. Ben loves me, and knowing that makes it easier to believe that he’ll do what it takes to keep me safe. Max’s safety I’m not too sure about.
There’s a moment of silence and I lean closer to the door do hear what’s happening. His voice fills the room again as he starts another call. I can’t make out the words he’s saying, but the tone is sharp and very aggressive. I step into the hot water and let it run from the top of my head down my body. If Ben looked close enough he would be able to see some of the small scars left from my fights with Max.
My head is tipped back and my eyes are closed when I hear the door to the bathroom click open. Within moments, Ben is standing in the shower with me. He looks almost defeated, and I hate that my past has caused him any pain or ang
er. I’m expecting him to tell me what the plan is or who he was talking to, but he doesn’t.
Instead, his hands snake around my waist and he pulls my body against his. It’s the most soothing hug I’ve ever been given and we stand pressed together under the hot water for a long time. When I feel like some of the heaviness has been lifted I ask, “What’s going to happen now?” I can’t see his face since we’re still in an embrace, but I feel his arms squeeze me tighter.
“I’m not going to hide anymore. I love you, Lori, and I want everyone to know we are a team and that you and I are together. I guess I just need to know if that’s what you want too.” My heart swells and I feel the relief of sharing the burden of my past with Max immediately.
“Okay.” As soon as it leaves my mouth he pulls back from me and I see a smile curve his lips. It’s contagious because my cheeks lift as I grin. I feel my eyes sting with happy tears.
“Okay, we can be together without hiding?” His eyes lock on mine and I can see how important this is to him. I nod. “Can we go to my family’s charity event together?”
The event is a big deal. An annual ball in honor of his mother, who passed away when he was younger. Everyone who is someone attends. I’ve been hearing Madeline talk about it for years. Max asked me to go last year, but we had a big fight the night before and I couldn’t bring myself to put a dress on.
“Yes. I’d love to go with you,” I tell him. It doesn’t take long for Ben to press his lips to mine and slide his hand into my wet hair. His other hand grips my hip, drawing my body to his.
My arms encircle his neck and I press my breasts against his chest as his tongue finds mine. I feel him slowly turning me so that the empty wall is at my back. His hand at my hip slips to the back of my upper thigh and the one in my hair slides quickly down my body. He lifts me up and presses me against the cool tile. His mouth never leaves mine as he presses me up against the wall and adjusts my body so that his length slides against my core.
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