"I know..." She puts a hand up to stop me.
"Please don't jeopardize your career because of me. I'm fine, I'm safe, I'm not in danger."
I nod reluctantly.
"I'm sorry I've been crowding you this past month." I apologize, hoping she isn't thinking of breaking up because of my overbearing ways. Because that is simply something that I will not allow.
"You don't have to apologize, Theo. I was just as scared as you, but the danger's already gone." She takes a deep breath, and I brace myself, mentally preparing all the arguments for why she should continue to date me. "I'm just worried they will fire you if you keep this up."
"Don't worry about that. I've never used my vacation days before, so I had plenty." I assure her. "But I hear you. I'll try to be more moderate. But for my peace of mind," I pause, thinking how to say this so she won't think I'm too controlling, "I'd like you to update me often throughout the day." I refrain from saying what I'd actually like — hourly updates. God, what am I turning into?
She gives me a smile. "Deal." On her tiptoes, she jumps up to kiss my cheek.
Damn! And that's exactly what I live for.
Chapter Eight
"YOU GOT WHAT YOU ASKED for, didn't you? Hastings sure is devoted to you now. A bit too much for my taste, I might add." Vlad lounges in his chair across from me, an amused expression on his face.
Since the attack, Theo hadn't left my side — not even for one moment. Not that I'm complaining if I'm being honest, since it's all I've ever wanted, but it's made doing my job a little hard. I've had to refuse two assignments in that time, and I'd had to limit my coke intake to once a week — if I were lucky. I'd noticed the signs of withdrawal immediately. I'd find myself restless and increasingly irascible.
Even though I'd wish for nothing more than to have Theo tied to me twenty-four seven, it's simply not possible with me leading a double life.
So I'd had to gently nudge him towards considering his career. He'd been quite receptive, so that issue was easily solved.
"I'm itching to land a kill." I ignore his jibe, taking out my precious baby — my Glock — and cleaning it.
"I might just have something." His smile grows and I have to narrow my eyes at him.
"Really?" I tilt my head, watching him suspiciously. After last time, I don't think I'll trust him for a while. "You sent a fucking meth-head to attack us, so forgive me for not trusting your judgment." He could have sent anyone, not an unreliable, volcanic meth head that almost slit my throat.
"What are you talking about?" He furrows his brows, leaning forward. "Meth-head? That I sent?" He asks incredulously.
"You don't have to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about." I roll my eyes. "You could have sent someone less unpredictable."
"I didn't send anyone." He purses his lips. "At first I forgot and then Hastings seemed to come around to I didn't think it was necessary anymore."
"Are you fucking kidding me? You didn't send that guy?" Great! Simply great! I could have easily gotten killed because I'd been sure the guy would have never actually harmed me.
Fucking hell!
I don't even think as I lift my gun and shoot, the bullet whizzing past Vlad's ear close enough to draw a droplet of blood.
He doesn't flinch.
Raising an eyebrow at me, he lifts his hand to pick up the blood with his fingers before bringing it to his mouth, licking it off.
"Is that war you're waging right now, little goddess?" He watches me intently, like a big cat on a prowl, ready to jump on its prey at any second.
"You fucking asshole. Do you realize I would have let that motherfucker slit my throat because I thought you hired him?" I stand up, pacing around and trying to calm myself.
Fuck!
"You suddenly care whether you live or die?" He smirks. "That's new."
"Asshole." I mutter under my breath.
He reclines in his chair, making himself more comfortable and seeming entirely unbothered.
"I may not have sent him, but it got you what you wanted, didn't it?" He shrugs.
"That's not the point." I grumble, but the annoyance is wearing off already.
"Just friendly advice. You should lock your suit down fast, before he finds out he's been awfully deceived. How long have you been dating now? A year, more?"
"It's not that easy." I mumble. Does he think I haven't thought of that? I've been trying to give suggestions now and then, but Theo seems dense to all my attempts. I can't get the man to sleep with me, but to propose?
I release a big sigh and plop myself back in my seat.
"He won't even go further than kissing. He sees me as this frail woman that he's afraid to offend if he's too forward."
"But isn't that what you wanted? Attract him by seeming innocent and shy? He already seems quite taken with you, though." Vlad suggests.
"Enough of that." I wave my hand dismissively, since I've done plenty of thinking on the subject myself, and it always leaves me frustrated. "Tell me about that kill. I need to blow off some steam."
MORE MONTHS OF SITTING around in the hell of sexual frustrations, with Theo so close and yet so far. The most we've done had been a heavy make-out session that had left both of us wanting. Damn him and his fucking misplaced honor. I've even tried to slyly make my way down his pants, but he'd stopped me, saying he doesn't think I'm ready for it.
I. Am. Fucking. Ready.
I am dying, that's how ready I am. It's been what, almost two years since he fucked me as Pink? I can't believe I've made it this long, but my breaking point is nearing.
I may just snap and tear his clothes off, but that would undo years of pretending to be sweet, innocent Bianca.
Fucking hell!
"It says here to add more rose oil." I say to myself as I follow the instructions for the love spell. When the natural cannot yield results, you have to reorient yourself towards the supranatural. Not that I'm a great believer, but at this point I'm willing to try anything.
If I can't seduce him with my body, I doubt a dozen candles, some rose oil, and an incantation is going to do the job.
But alas, I will try it.
I place the candles in a circle and add some rose oil clock-wise as I recite the verses I'd found on the web.
"So mote it be." I end the chant, closing my eyes and willing it to happen. I imagine Theo on one knee, asking me to marry him, after which he'd whisk me to bed and make love to me in a thousand ways.
A smile spreads on my face as I imagine it.
The spell done; I await the results.
Days pass, and then weeks, and I'm starting to believe that either magic isn't real, or I must have offended those love fairies somehow.
But just as I feel a hopelessness settle deep in my bones, I am regaled with the best of news — from my father, nonetheless.
One afternoon he calls me in his study to inform me that Theo's asked for my hand in marriage and that he will soon propose.
"You'll do better to accept, Bianca. You can't do better than him. He has a bright future ahead of him." My father lists all of Theo's qualities in an attempt to convince me that indeed, he is the best choice of husband.
On the surface, I nod like the obedient daughter that I am, but on the inside, I'm so giddy I high five all the love deities out there for making this happen.
I smile to myself. Now I just have to wait.
Chapter Nine
TAKING A DEEP BREATH, I mentally go again over my lines. I need this to be perfect. I've already set up the bedroom. I'd taken to the Internet for advice on the perfect proposal, and I'd followed all the advice I could find. From candles, to rose petals, and everything to ensure the atmosphere is as romantic as possible.
Bianca should arrive soon, and as I planned, I'll make her dinner first, and then I'll bring her to the room.
God, I'm too nervous!
We'd talked about our feelings before, but we haven't outrightly exchanged I love you's yet. But tonight is the night. I'll b
e handing her my heart on a platter.
The oven beeps, and I hurry to remove the tray. I start arranging the plates when the doorbell rings.
The moment I open the door, my jaw almost drops.
She looks like a goddess. My goddess.
She's wearing a dusty pink dress that clings to her body, emphasizing her hips and waist. I swallow hard, the sight of her looking so delicious doing little to calm my nerves.
I open my door wider for her, and she gives me a smile as she walks past me, waving a wine bottle. My eyes follow her around, almost glued to her ass.
"You cooked?" She places the bottle on the table, looking around the kitchen.
"Only for you." I come behind her, hands on her hips, and I lay a kiss on her cheek.
"You have to tell me what the occasion is." She sits daintily on the chair, and I stifle a groan, the sight of her enough to make me hard for days.
"You'll find out." I wink at her and proceed to serve the dinner. Opening the bottle of wine, I pour in our glasses.
"You're finally of age to drink." I add, amused. Sometimes it's easy to forget our age difference, since Bianca has a maturity beyond her years. Maybe I'd been a little reluctant to pursue her in the beginning because I'd thought her too young, but I was just biding my time and fooling myself in the process.
Ours is a matter of eventuality. It had taken me one look at her to know she was mine, a little longer to convince myself to go after her, and a hell of a lot longer of courting her. But I know she feels the same as I do. It's in her slight shiver as I touch her, or the light inflection of her voice after I kiss her.
And tonight she'll know just how much I love her.
We chat about her week. Since graduation, she's been working hard to put together a foundation against homelessness, and her project is picking up speed. I'd told her she could do it, and I made sure to support her at every point. I know how important it is for her to do this well, especially since her father seems to be against her working.
Tipping the glass to my lips, my eyes are on her, taking in her beauty — both inner and outer, and I wonder how come I'm so lucky.
Out of everyone else in this world, she's mine and mine alone.
After we're done eating, we wash the dishes together, and I finally get the courage to ask her to the room.
"I have something for you." I tell her, leading her to my bedroom. Before opening the door, I put my hands to her eyes, steering her in the center of the room so she's standing right in front of the strewn rose petals.
"What's this, Theo?" She giggles softly, and I can't help myself. I lower my lips to her pulse, skimming the sensitive skin towards her ear before whispering.
"Keep your eyes closed."
I move around so I can face her, and taking out the ring box, I prompt her to open her eyes.
When she does, it's to see me on one knee, ring out, in front of a row of roses that spells out Will You Marry Me?
She gasps, bringing her hand to her mouth, the corner of her eyes full with unshed tears.
"Bianca Ashby, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" I ask officially, and she jumps on me, tackling me to the floor.
"Yes! Yes!" She cries. "A thousand times, yes!" She brings her arms around my neck, holding onto me tight. "I love you, Theo." She whispers in my hair, and I feel my heart stop.
Fuck!
If this isn't true happiness, then I don't know what is.
"I love you too, B. So damn much it hurts." I confess, turning her so I can pepper kisses all over her sweet face. "So much."
Taking the ring out, I slide it up her finger — the perfect fit.
"It's gorgeous, Theo." She says in awe, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Thank you."
"Only for you, little one. Only for you."
The candles are bathing the room in light, and her face looks even lovelier. I raise my hand to tuck a stray strand of hair, lingering on her cheek. I'd like nothing more than to throw her on the bed and take her hard and fast. It's not as if I haven't dreamed about that every single night since I met her. But I can't do that. I need to control myself and make her first time special.
But first, I have to make sure she's ready for it. If she's not, then I'll wait for as long as she needs, even if that means I'll be jacking off twice as much.
I move at the same time as she does, and we meet in the middle, our lips slowly caressing each other. I sneak my hand around her waist, bringing her into me and deepening the kiss.
"B..." I whisper, breaking apart for a second. "Are you..." I trail off, not knowing how to approach this so she doesn't feel pressured.
"Yes, please." She says shyly, backing just enough so she can slide the zipper of her dress down and slip it down her shoulders. "I want you, Theo. I want all of you." She's now wearing only her bra and her panties, and I groan out loud at the sight. I don't even think as I scoop her in my arms, and take her to the bed, slowly lowering her on the mattress.
She's unsure as she tries to cover her exposed skin, and I'm once again reminded that this is new to her, and I need to let her set the pace.
I pull my shirt off and throw it on the floor. Her eyes move greedily over my torso and I'm suddenly glad of my gym schedule. I want her to find me as attractive as I find her.
"The pants?" She asks, her tone breathless. I happily oblige her, leaving my boxer briefs on so I don't shock her.
I advance towards her and she licks her lips, looking up at me with that innocent gaze of her.
Fuck!
My cock is straining against the confines of my briefs, and I'm fairly sure she can see just how much I want her. But her eyes seem to focus on my face, as if she's making a conscious effort not to look down.
I take her face between my hands and I proceed to kiss her, nice and slow, enjoying the feel of her — mine for the taking.
Spreading her on the bed and fitting myself on top of her, I proceed to kiss every inch of her skin, wanting to show her just how much I love her, worship her. As I move lower, I snap her bra clasp open and tug it off her. Her hands immediately go to her breasts and she gulps loudly, looking to the side.
"I... I've never." She starts, her voice full of embarrassment.
"I know. I'll be gentle, I swear." She nods, turns slightly to look in my eyes.
"I'm on birth control. I... I wanted to be prepared." She admits, a blush appearing on her pretty cheeks.
"God, B!" I groan, the idea that she's been looking forward to this as much as me exciting me to no end. "I'm clean. I've always used condoms before, but it's been a long time." I confess, and her nose scrunches up, a sigh of disappointment escaping her. "Shh, little one." I caress her face. "I wish I waited too. If I knew I'd find you one day, I swear I wouldn't have touched another woman." I tell her honestly, because when I'm with her, nothing and no one else matters. She's my future, my everything.
She gives me a tremulous smile, her fingers coming to rest on my cheeks and then tracing my lips.
"I'm glad. You're the only one for me, Theo. Always." Her words floor and humble me, so I show her just how much she means to me.
I turn my attention back to her body, trailing wet kisses down her neck and towards her breasts before taking one nipple into my mouth. Her mouth forms an o, but she urges me on. I lick and suck, enjoying the myriad of emotions playing on her face. I need her as relaxed as possible, her pleasure my foremost goal. I'm not a small man, and for the first time, I'm afraid it might not be as pleasant for her as I know it will be for me.
I move lower, kissing her stomach before reaching her panties. Hooking my fingers through the band, I tug them down her legs, leaving her bare for my view. She tries to close her legs, but I place a finger on her mound, marveling at the softness of her skin.
"Clean shaven," I murmur, surprised.
"I thought you'd like it." Her voice is small as she says this, so I quickly assure her I'd like her any way. That she put effort into this, to pleas
e me, makes me even happier.
Settling myself between her legs, I inhale her scent, nuzzling her lips with my mouth before diving in for the first taste. I give her a long lick, and she stiffens against me before relaxing once more. Centering the tip of my tongue over her clit, I circle it in slow motions, making her writhe under me, her hands involuntarily seeking my hair. She clutches at my scalp, and I continue, sucking the nub and nibbling it with my teeth. Her moans permeate the air, and pride swells in my chest.
I'm the one giving her pleasure. I'm the one owning her.
I use my fingers to prepare her, feeling her soft tightness and the way she clenches at my digits. Soon, she crashes, her orgasm making her contract all around my fingers, her soft gasps making my dick even harder.
Fuck! I need to take this slow.
Moving up her body, I give her a languorous kiss, using my hands to push down my briefs.
"I'm told this might hurt a little, sweetheart." I tell her, already feeling bad I'm about to cause her pain. I'd read plenty of articles to prepare for this night, wanting everything to be perfect, and Bianca as ready as possible to prevent any discomfort.
"It's ok. It's you." She gives me one quick kiss on the lips before urging me to proceed. My hands on her ass, I settle in the v of her legs, my cock brushing ever so softly against the wetness of her pussy. A hiss escapes me at the contact, the promise of pleasure to come.
Taking my cock in one hand, I rub it against her pussy, coating it in her juices before I push the tip in. My eyes are on her face, checking for any sign of discomfort, but she's watching me just as intently, her mouth open on an unreleased moan.
I move forward inch by inch, letting her accommodate to my size. A small crease forms between her brows and I still.
"Does it hurt?" I ask immediately, concerned.
She shakes her head. "It's just new. But I like it." She angles her hips and I slide all the way in. I take a deep breath, now hoping I will last. Her raw heat is almost too much to bear, and I have to stop myself from coming then and there — from one thrust alone.
My Name Is Pink: An Age Gap Dark Romance (Morally Questionable, #0.5) Page 7