The Peabrain's Idea (The Peabrain Adventures Book 1)

by Martha Carr

  “You’re not making any sense. Can we get back to what’s a Huldu?” She kept her voice low and steady, trying to keep Kathleen on track as if they were in a small room at the precinct.

  “I believe I told you. It’s a gnome, a magical being. The hired help, in a way.” Maggie shook her head. “But that’s obvious, and what’s not magical? I mean, after all, everything is connected. Keep that in mind. It’ll serve you well.”

  Toni came back with a salve for the cat’s neck. Her thick auburn hair was piled on top of her head, held precariously in place by a silver clip.

  She went over and scooped up the cat easily with one hand, pulling it close and sat back down in her chair. The cat settled into her lap, looking up at Maggie as Toni tended to its wound. “I can see you’re confused.”

  “Not confused, just not high.”

  Toni arched an eyebrow even as she smiled at her daughter. “You need a boyfriend or at least get laid once in a while. Are you taking care of…”

  “Mom!” Maggie cleared her throat, even as the drumming paused for a moment and felt her face getting warm. “Said that a little louder than I intended.”

  “Let me make this easier for my practical daughter.” She smiled at Maggie, gently rubbing the cat’s fur. “Kathleen is a sage, a keeper of old knowledge, right?” Kathleen smiled at Maggie’s mother as the cat squirmed in her lap, trying to get away. “Not quite done, kitty. Hang in there.” Toni looked up even as she applied the last dab of ointment.

  The old sage studied Maggie’s face as if she was looking for something. “Hmmm, I thought for sure something momentous had happened this morning. Maybe I was wrong. No awakening?”

  “Nothing beyond realizing mixing Trix and Cocoa Puffs together was a genius breakfast move.”

  Toni let out a laugh. “See? Just like your Dad… and your Poppy, I might add. Marjorie, let me help you, honey. That’s too much fat wood.” Toni got up, the cat still held firmly in her arms and crossed the yard. The cat twisted around till it could look over Toni’s shoulder, staring at Kathleen.

  Kathleen watched Toni go, holding up a finger. “Wait just a moment.” When Toni was further away, she turned back, pulling her purse into her lap

  “Let me help you, just this once. It’s breaking a Huldu rule, but who cares? I’m not a Huldu.” Kathleen reached into the cloth purse and pulled out a clear ball that fit neatly into the middle of her palm. Inside of it was a small, perfectly formed tree. “Here, this is yours now.” Kathleen didn’t wait for a response and took the ball, pressing it into Maggie’s hand.

  Maggie held it up closer to examine the tree, marveling at the craftsmanship, just as a tiny black bird flew from the branches, circled the tree and disappeared back into its depths, rustling the leaves.

  She startled and stared harder at the ball. “Was that a grackle?”

  “Not to worry, none of that is real. It’s like a Huldu picture, but we can create them out of what we know. I made this one to remind me of the Huldu’s first rule. Rule number one is everything is connected, therefore everything is precious. Necessary tenet if you’re transporting so many living things on this giant ship.”

  Maggie stared at the ball, trying to see how it was possible. “Is this a tiny computer? Look how small they can make them now.”

  Kathleen let out a sigh. “Nothing, huh? Okay, I tried. You’re a tough case. Still, I would have sworn you’d crack open. Nothing strange happen at all today?”

  Maggie hesitated but not for long. She needed information and there weren’t many places to go ask someone about a flying compass and a little old man who disappeared into thin air.

  “Someone broke into my garage this morning.” She cleared her throat. “A little old man. He looked homeless to me.”

  “Another break in?” Toni had walked back over and stood next to her daughter, rubbing her shoulder. “What were they after?”

  The cat yowled loudly and batted at Maggie’s arm, its claws out. Maggie stayed just out of range and searched for the right words. “He was going through Poppy’s old metal tool box and was about to steal that strange wooden box. You remember it, Mom? Had the different elements on it, one on each side.”

  “Another break in to that old garage. This is usually such a safe street,” said Toni.

  The smile had dropped from Kathleen’s face and she sat up straighter. “What happened to the box? Do you still have it?”

  “I have the box, but not what was in it. The thing opened up, all on its own and there was a strange compass inside with five arms. The little man got all excited when one of the arms pointed at me, like it wasn’t pointing north but straight at me.”

  “Then what happened…” The old woman said the words in measured tones, breathing harder.

  “Then, uh, the damndest thing. The compass grew wings and flew for a moment before landing in my hand.”

  Toni looked at her daughter as the cat slipped from her hands and ran to sit a little closer to Maggie. “I knew there were a few of my special cookies missing.”

  “I thought you told me you were reformed.”

  “I am, there’s no more smoking in the backyard. Bad for your lungs, anyway. How long ago did you eat one?”

  “I haven’t been in your stash, Mom, and let’s go back to not wanting me to know anything.”

  Kathleen stood up and grabbed Maggie’s hand again, squeezing it. “Where is the compass now?”

  “The little guy took it.”

  “An old man got one over on you?”

  “Thanks, Mom, and yes, he did despite me holding a gun. Strangest thing. One moment he was there and the next he was gone.”

  “That’s not necessarily good news,” said Kathleen, sharply taking in air. “You can’t be sure it wasn’t a Kashgar. That would put them one step closer to finding the others and the parts they need to fix the machine.”

  “That’s a part to a machine?” Maggie’s phone started ringing.

  “No, it’s a compass. Points you in the right direction. There’s so much to tell you.”

  “Well, it’ll have to wait. Work calls.”

  The cat slipped away from the crowd and out the way it had come, leaping over the fence. Moments later, bubbles rose into the air, popping as they floated away.

  “It’s your day off.”

  “Tell that to the bad guys. One of my old cases got a hit that can’t wait.”

  “Take some coffee with you. It’s still hot and you function better with a little caffeine.”

  “Mom, I’m heading into work. Not a good time for your idea of coffee.”

  “It’s safe, I swear!”

  “Well…” Mrs. Fletcher chimed in, “I put a few herbs in it. Mostly medicinal.”

  “Mostly… perfect. I’ll stop at the Wag-A-Bag.”

  Maggie pulled away from the curb in the dark blue custom 1987 El Camino with a back seat and headed to the southeast side of Austin and the precinct near Slaughter Lane. She took a sip of the old coffee that had been sitting in her car since yesterday and choked it down. “Still coffee.” She took another swig and swallowed hard. “Okay, just barely.”

  Her favorite convenience store was just across the river, over the South Congress bridge. She pulled into a space just in front of the only part of the large front window that wasn’t covered by a sign advertising smokes or Clean Energy Drink. A neon sign blinked red and blue at the top, advertising chicken and waffles. Made on site was scrawled underneath in black permanent marker. She got out of the car, pouring the dregs of her coffee onto the blacktop, stepping up onto the concrete porch.

  She pulled open the front door, a loud bing-bong announcing her entrance.

  “Hey Joey, how’s the coffee?”

  Joey looked up from his sudoku puzzle, scratching his ear with the end of his pen. “Hot as always! One of my favorite people, now my day can really get going. Little late for breakfast, little early for lunch, but who cares. Take some chicken and waffles with you? The wife has been back ther
e frying away, getting ready for the rush. We already sold out of all the breakfast taquitos.”

  “I think the word is getting out Joey. Locals have been talking up your cooking.”

  “Only way we can convince people to try our food. Otherwise who would pay to eat fried chicken out of the back of this old place? It’s all Mamie and her recipes. Let me fix you a plate, put some homemade pickles in with it.”

  Joey was already walking to the back where there were two old metal tables set up, mostly for people waiting for their food. The operation was strictly carry out. Maggie made her way to the coffee pots lined up four deep by the chips rack and filled her travel mug to the edge, already trying to sip the hot coffee, swirling it around in her mouth. “Man, that’s good stuff. Nectar of the Gods.”

  “Tastes even better if you don’t burn your tongue.” Joey smiled, shaking his head as he came walking up and handed over the heavy Styrofoam box. “Mamie had it ready, saw you pull up.”

  “My tongue can take it. I was raised on ghost peppers. Boy, that smells good.” She slurped another gulp of coffee, as the loud bing-bong of the door chimed. She turned in time to see two men hustle their way into the convenience store, guns drawn. Strange day.

  “How convenient. My work is now coming to me.” Maggie carefully set down the box of food and her coffee and pushed Joey to the floor, behind the chip rack. “Stay down,” she hissed, pulling out her gun.

  “Drop your weapon, police!”

  The burly man in front startled for just a moment but quickly recovered and turned, raising his gun in one fluid motion, pointing it at Maggie’s mid-section. She saw the second robber pulling his gun and leaning to one side to get a clearer shot at her. This is not going to go well.

  Maggie leaned to one side, getting off a clean shot and hitting the large man squarely in the chest, throwing him backward into his smaller accomplice, making his gun jerk up as he pulled the trigger. Joey pressed his palms against his ears, his eyes squeezed shut as he kept low in a crouch. Maggie heard a scream from the back of the store and resisted the urge to look back to make sure Mamie wasn’t coming toward them. There was no time.

  The second bullet was rapidly heading toward her and Maggie already knew it was heading toward its target. Right at her head.

  5

  Time slowed down and she felt as if she could count the seconds, waiting for the very end of all things. “Dad,” she whispered, an ache in her chest as she wondered if she was finally going to see him again.

  Everything faded to black and she marveled that there hadn’t been any pain, no sense of burning flesh, her head rocking back from the impact. Who will take care of Mom and Diana?

  It was her last thought.

  She felt the air rush out of her lungs, and she gasped for air, marveling that was still a necessity even when you’re dead. There was a loud ringing in her ears and total darkness that quickly subsided, replaced by loud voices, arguing.

  “Rule number nineteen! We don’t interfere in life and death with the Peabrains! You broke a big one, Bernie. This is bad. This is very bad.”

  “I had to! Do you not understand this thing they insist is language? She’s an Elemental with a capital E! The one who holds it all together. The main shebang!” Bernie’s words came out in a whistle through his front teeth.

  “That’s no excuse. It’ll throw everything off! She’s now on borrowed time. Borrowed! She was supposed to be gone. That means there was no more story for her. Everything that happens after this is part of chaos.” His voice was rising to the level of a squeak. “This never goes well. Events can change, Peabrains suddenly disappear and reappear…”

  “Speaking of disappearing. We’ll need to handle that mess in the Wag-A-Bag.”

  Maggie’s vision slowly cleared. Through the haze she could see two short figures facing off, one of them waving his arms over his head and leaning forward as he yelled at the other. She squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing them and opened them again as the images became even clearer. So far, no sign of anyone she knew greeting her.

  “Death is really not what I expected so far. Wait, is this… hell? Crap. Was it that time I told off the delivery guy for dinging my car? That was hell worthy? Come on!”

  “Hey Jack, little ears are listening. We can pick this back up later.”

  “And we will. We have enough problems. It doesn’t make it better that you brought an Elemental down here. That’s a completely new system error.”

  Maggie felt the ringing go away completely and shook her head as her eyes came into complete focus. “Hey, wait a minute! I know you. You broke into my garage.” Maggie slowly took in a deep breath and felt for her gun. It was still there. Yeah, this is hell. “Are you some kind of dark angel?”

  “No, they live in Pasadena.”

  Jack elbowed Bernie and gave him a stern look. “Quit kidding around. Can’t you see she thinks she’s dead.” He shook his head, tsking. “This always happens when a Peabrain slips through a crack into our operations.”

  “Literally.” Bernie did his best to put on his version of a gracious smile. “Welcome to the inner workings of our world. Quite literally, again.”

  Maggie took in a sharp breath of air and felt her lungs fill. “Not dead,” she muttered, stomping the ground with her foot, testing out the sturdiness of where she stood.

  “Well, that’s a new one, right Jack? Haven’t seen one test out the ground underneath their feet before.”

  She took a look around in the darkness, peering into the distance but it was hard to make out anything. She rested her hand on her gun and took a step toward the two gnomes.

  “Now, hang on sister. Don’t even go for that gun,” said Bernie. “Wouldn’t even work down here.”

  “Down?” Maggie instinctively lifted her chin and looked above her head. She couldn’t see a thing but could sense the ceiling was far above her. “Let me be clear. Not hell. Not dead.”

  “Not heaven either.” Bernie formed a large transparent bubble in his hands and watched it zip out to Maggie, reforming itself around her gun as it disappeared altogether.

  “Hey!” Maggie’s hand slid down the side of her pants. “That’s government issue.”

  “No worries, you’ll get it back when you leave here. We have a few rules we actually follow.” Jack glared at Bernie who shrugged. “No weapons, no cell phones. That last one is mostly to stop Leo from playing Barry Manilow on a continuous loop.”

  “He’s a Fanilow.”

  “I was right the first time. This is hell.” Maggie closed the distance between them, her arm out to the side, feeling for any kind of wall or structure. There was nothing.

  “You can stop trying to figure things out. We’ll help you, or Bernie will help you since he brought you here in the first place. Let’s begin with a little light.” Leo waved his arms as gold streaks shout of his fingertips, racing for different corners and lighting up the room with a warm, golden glow. Maggie’s eyes widened as she saw the large cavernous room appear and long tunnels that stretched off in every direction, gnomes zipping by in the distance of each one. She looked down and saw tiles beneath her feet and above were hanging crystals. “Where are we?”

  “Now, that is a question I can work with,” said Bernie, tugging on his green sweater.

  “Bernie, careful…” Jack gave him side eye, pressing his lips into a thin line.

  “You’re underground in the workings of the Earth.”

  Maggie knit her brows together, taking another step closer to the gnomes as Jack backed up a step. “I’m what?”

  “Remember rule number fifty-two, Bernie.”

  “Rule, schmool.” He leaned forward, emphasizing his words, which only made him whistle louder. “You’re underground…” He spread his arms wide. “In the mechanical areas of the ship.”

  “What ship?”

  “This ship.”

  Maggie looked around. “I don’t see a ship.”

  “What do you mean you don’t see it?” Ber
nie snapped his fingers in front of her face, lifting his hand over his head to reach her.

  “For the love of… what is it with the snapping fingers? First my sister, now you.” Maggie took in a sharp breath of air. “My sister… how the hell do I get out of here?”

  “Easily done. You ready to go?” Jack hastily asked.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” said Bernie, holding up his short arms and waving his oversized hands. “You can’t give her the bum’s rush. Were you not listening? She’s an Elemental. The compass Elemental.”

  Maggie closed in on the gnome, towering over him as she leaned forward, their faces close together. “Where is my compass? You took it from me,” she said in a slow, menacing tone. The events of the last few minutes were catching up with her and it wasn’t sitting well with her that the gnome had stolen something from Poppy’s tool box.

  Bernie squinted one eye and arched an eyebrow over the other, making his face resemble a moon-pie Popeye. “You’ll get it back when it’s time and not a moment before. You have a lot to learn first.” He scrunched up his face, staring back at her.

  Maggie let out the breath she was holding. “Fine, start teaching me. Start with do I get to go back home?”

  “Oh my, yes. No one wants you living down here.” Bernie knit his fingers together, tucking his hands under his ample belly.

  “No one wanted you to visit the mechanics, either.” Jack crossed his arms, rocking back and forth on his heels.

  Bernie put his hand on Maggie’s arm and pulled her to the side. “Don’t mind him. He’s a stickler for the rules and oh boy, are there a lot of them. You’d think after thousands of years I’d have them all down, or he’d ease up a bit but neither one of those things has happened. Truth is…” Bernie sucked in air, letting out another whistle. “I’m not much of a rule follower.”

  Jack rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say something.

  “Zip it, cousin to a troll. I’ve got this.” Bernie took Maggie’s arm again. “You see, how shall I put this? Earth is a ship and at this point everything on it is cargo.”