“He hasn’t even asked about her, has he?”
“No.”
Great.
“One chance. That’s all I’m asking.”
She reluctantly agrees and follows me inside. I take the electric knife from Betty Lou and begin carving the ham. The boys come in, Nate staying close to Aria to deter Emily from saying anything too rude.
We get everything on the table, and everyone takes their seats. Zoey sits in between Aria and I; Emily sitting across from us, watching this all unfold with an uneasy eye. Steve says grace to pacify his wife where the rest of us aren’t religious at all.
I haven’t seen my table this full in a while. It brings a smile to my face seeing everyone I love, and Emily, in one place. It’s like a pre-Thanksgiving, only with ham.
37
ARIA
33 weeks pregnant…
I’m on the verge of throwing up all over this fucking table. Everyone talks like they’re best friends, and while I have my family, plus the new dysfunctional family I’ve come to create over the last month here to support me, I can’t help but feel nauseous at the one woman I’m trying to impress.
She’s been quiet, which I know isn’t like her. From what Derek said, she used to be a party girl, the center of attention. She seems like she feels out of place too. Maybe she feels like I’m taking her family away from her. They were all friends at some point.
Zoey talks to me about the next few books in the Heartland series, and while I want to focus on every word coming out of her mouth, my stomach somersaults, threatening to send everything back up.
I politely excuse myself and move into the kitchen where I know there’s a ginger ale with my name on it. Literally.
“Still sick in your third trimester?”
I freeze at Emily’s voice and grab the bottle out of the fridge, timidly nodding at her. She reminds me of wife number five—the one and only time I ever met her. She wasn’t unkind, but she wasn’t warm either.
“Sort of. I find my anxiety still makes my stomach churn.”
Emily nostalgically smiles and leans up against the counter.
“I was sick through the whole pregnancy. I carried two bags of plain Lay’s potato chips with me wherever I went because it was the only thing I could keep down.”
Nice to know I’m not alone.
“Do you know what you’re having yet?”
Guilt swirls in my belly. I lean against the sink and weakly smile.
“No…I think I want to be surprised.”
She considers this a moment and shrugs.
“I’m not going to pretend I don’t listen to the gossip around town, but I’ve heard things…about this pregnancy.”
“It’s not Derek’s,” I quickly tell her. “That’s what Nicole at Rhonda’s thought when we ate there today.”
“That’s not the rumor I heard. You were with that socialite in Chicago, right? Charlie Dodge?”
Hearing his name makes me want to spew, so I gulp down my ginger ale and sigh.
“Yeah. I won’t lie to you…this pregnancy was unplanned. Everything regarding it has been…traumatic.”
“Don’t worry, you’re not the first to be crucified by a rumor Bethany Hunt has started. Her oldest daughter, Tracey, was in my graduating class. She’s worse than her mother.”
We both laugh at that.
“But I think this thing—whatever it is with you and Derek, it makes me uncomfortable. It’s happening too fast and frankly, you don’t have the best reputation around town.”
“I love your daughter, Emily. She’s bright, and bookish, and all around a great kid. I don’t want to be a pain point. I’m sorry my family bombarded this…it’s who they are. My mom can’t pass up a dinner on the property and you bet she has to be the one to cook it.”
Emily smiles.
“She’s a good kid,” she agrees. “Derek and I…we weren’t good together. I’m not sure what he’s told you, but we were kids when we got married. Zoey is the only good that came out of our marriage, so when you come along, and she talks about you non-stop, I get concerned.
I get that.
“Co-parenting is a bitch. Especially when our parenting styles are so completely different. But…I know he’s a good dad and he’d destroy the world if it meant she was safe. Regardless of what the other boneheads out there say about me, they’re looking out for her too.”
I’m getting somewhere.
“I don’t know if this is weird or anything, but would you be interested in getting lunch with me one day? The only person I know whose given birth is my momma and I don’t need the nitty gritty from her…or Jo for that matter.”
Emily laughs.
“Sure. I’d like that a lot.”
Derek enters the kitchen and freezes when he sees us together. His eyes dart from me to her.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, we were talking about getting lunch together,” Emily answers before I can. She winks and walks out of the kitchen, her heels announcing her exit.
“You don’t have to get lunch with her,” he assures me.
“I asked her.” I reassure him. He deflates a little, wondering if this dinner wasn’t enough.
“We had a good talk. Anyway, I came in here to get my ginger ale.”
He takes the bottle out of my hand and places it on the counter behind me and presses his lips to mine.
My cheeks flush in embarrassment, knowing my father could walk in on this at any point.
“Tomorrow night, we’re going to Richmond. I’m taking you and Zoey to a fancy dinner, and we all will talk about our future.”
Butterflies flutter in my stomach at his gentle threat.
I’m getting a future!
38
ARIA
33 weeks pregnant…
I stand in Annie’s bathroom while she brushes out my hair and uses her flat iron to make it super smooth and sleek. I hardly recognize myself in the mirror. My skin is clear and glowing for the first time since I’ve come home. My hair is healthy and strong. My eyes, clear and bright.
It’s taken me some practice doing my makeup again. With Charlie, makeup was used only to cover up the evidence. When it was a special event outside of the apartment, he had a team to get me ready. Every bruise was covered. I looked like someone who sort of looked like me.
I feel like I’m getting ready for a wedding. My idiot brother has been on my ass all day, asking me if this is a good idea. It took Zoey telling him to get his head out of his ass to get him to lay off. Well, not in those words.
“You’re beautiful, Peanut,” Annie says gently.
“Thank you.” She grins through the mirror.
Her phone rings and her Alexa picks it up.
“Hey baby. How was your day today?”
JJ’s voice registers in my mind and we both stare in horror at each other in the mirror.
“JJ?”
“…Aria?”
Annie groans.
“Jay…I need to call you back.” She swiftly hangs up, turns her Bluetooth off, and shoves the phone in her back pocket.
“He just called you ‘baby’.”
She flinches and continues to play with my hair. I see her pulse racing in her throat.
“Annabelle, why is Jay Parker, our extra brother, calling you ‘baby’?”
She nervously bites her lips and looks everywhere else but me.
“I thought you were dating Tom?”
She groans again.
“Jay is Tom.”
It suddenly starts to click into place. The reason why we haven’t met Tom face to face, or the reason why she won’t allow us to FaceTime.
“You can’t tell anyone, okay? This is super secret. Nobody knows.”
I raise my eyebrows.
“You’re kidding.”
“No, I’m not,” she snaps. She takes a deep, cleansing breath and blinks tears away. “We were going to tell everyone when he gets out in a few months, okay? Daddy isn’t go
ing to take this well, and neither will Christopher. Just…keep it to yourself and don’t mention anything to anyone, okay?”
I swallow nervously.
“You have to tell me everything.”
The doorbell rings, and I see the relief in her face as the burden to spill the beans is temporarily taken off her shoulders.
“Sorry, can’t now. Your dates are here.” I scowl and sweep through the house, my black and white flowy sundress trailing behind me.
“This is not over, Annabelle. I’ll keep your secret, I promise. But not until I know all of the dirty details.”
Annie yanks open the front door and lets Derek and Zoey inside.
Derek wears a black button down dress shirt that hugs his bulky arms and chiseled chest like I would if we were naked. He pairs his dark jeans with black dress shoes and a mega-watt smile when he lays eyes on me.
Zoey wears a floral print halter dress that makes her look to be twelve years old.
“You are a sight for sore eyes,” he greets, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
“You look handsome too.” I shift my gaze to Zoey and pull her into a hug. “Look at you, Zo! Beautiful as ever.”
Zoey beams and gives a twirl.
“It takes us about an hour and a half to get to Richmond. Are you ready? I already got some car snacks to tide us over.”
“She’s ready,” Annie says hurriedly, shooing me out the door because she doesn’t want to talk about what I overheard on the phone. I give her a warning glare, silently promising I’m going to interrogate her tomorrow.
Derek’s truck shines brightly, like he got a carwash for tonight. We pile in together, with Zoey in the back, already doling out the iced tea and pizza flavored Combos.
When we reach the small Italian restaurant in Richmond, Derek helps both Zoey and me out of the truck and leads us inside. The cool air and garlic hit me like a tidal wave. I’m starving.
We’re brought to a secluded booth near the back of the restaurant, away from the front door and hustle and bustle of people we don’t know. It doesn’t take me more than a minute to spot Tanner and Nate at a table nearby. Like the professionals they are, they don’t look this way.
I sit across from Derek and Zoey and scan the menu for something cheesy and delicious. The waiter stops by, takes our drink orders and disappears shortly after.
“Zo, what did you think of dinner last night?”
“Oh, it was fun. Especially when Uncle Tanner was making fun of you to mom.”
Derek scowls and rolls his eyes. Tanner’s in for a roll in the yard later.
“What do you think of Miss Aria staying the night with us?”
She shrugs casually, still perusing her menu.
“It’s nice. I like waking up to breakfast.”
I stifle my giggle when Derek groans.
“Babe, I’m trying to be serious with you.”
She places her menu on the table and glances up at Derek.
“What do you think of Miss Aria and I dating?”
Zoey’s whole face lights up, her eyes as big as saucers.
“Seriously? I’d love that! I knew you like-liked her!”
Oh, boy. He has a good poker face; I’ll give him that.
“Yeah, seriously,” he replies with a grin.
“This is going to be great! You can move in with us and we’ll help you with the baby!”
It’s that mental douse of cold water that brings me back to reality. It’s that reminder that makes me uneasy. In a few short weeks, this baby is going to come into the world. And this…? Who willingly enters a relationship with a baby that isn’t his?
Am I wrong for bringing my shit to this little family unit? That one day, Charlie is going to demand his son and I’ll never see him again?
“That’s putting the cart before the horse a bit, Zo, but yeah. We’ll help with the baby.”
Fresh bread is placed in front of us, and I’m so grateful for the distraction.
I glance around the restaurant, locking eyes with Tanner who discreetly winks at me and gives me a silly grin.
“It’ll be an adventure,” Zoey adds.
“Yes, it sure will,” I respond. I smile when she squeals with delight.
I try to picture my life with them. I picture myself in bed with Derek or cooking dinner together with Zoey making desert. I see weekends of going bargain book shopping and horseback riding lessons.
…But no where do I see the baby.
Does Derek’s house even have a spare bedroom for a crib? Will we switch houses with Nate?
…Will Nate still be around?
“Get out of your head, Ace,” Derek warns, covering my hand with his. His touch is electric, and I’m suddenly reminded when we’re touching, whether we’re fully clothed, or buck-ass naked as the day we were born, my thoughts stop racing. “This is just dinner.”
Just dinner. Followed by a lifetime of being called Mrs. Hawthorn.
“Sorry. I’m nervous.”
“You eat dinner with us every night. This is just a change of scenery.” He winks.
Right.
It’s just dinner.
“So I heard a rumor,” Zoey starts with a sly grin.
Rumors aren’t a fun time, especially when the small town of Sage Creek likes to put me in the center of them. I don’t need Zoey hearing all the negative crap about me people love to peddle.
“I heard you’re opening the shelter in two weeks.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. I’d hate to have to explain to her why the people around town call me a slut.
“We are. I’m thrilled! On Monday the cable company is coming in and installing our internet and tv’s. We’re also vetting volunteers to help us around the place.”
“What sort of volunteers would you need?”
“Well, maybe a doctor who can examine women who come in with injuries, a lawn company to keep the place looking nice, a few volunteer cooks that can help us with breakfast, lunch, and dinner…”
I suddenly realize Derek is watching me with a smile on his face. A dreamy one. Like he can picture this all with me.
I should be happy, but my stomach churns. Maybe I dove into this too fast. Maybe I should’ve ignored him and kept my legs closed.
“And what would you be doing?” Derek asks.
“My work would be behind the scenes. I’ll be working closely with the Live Oaks Foundation—coordinating funds, working with the staff. Jo will be working exclusively with the women and children who come in.”
Derek watches me cautiously, like he’s wondering why I’m hiding behind my impenetrable walls.
“That cool,” Zoey replies in awe.
The waiter comes back and takes our orders.
It’s Derek and Zoey. It’s a change of scenery. Stop projecting your bullshit!
For the rest of the meal, we engage in idle chit chat. Zoey goes on and on about school, Derek occasionally jumps in. But I sit there like a deer caught in the headlights. I’m so grateful when we step outside and I can feel my lungs expand. We walk back to the truck and Zoey hops in. Before I get in, Derek stops me.
“Where are you?” he asks quietly.
“I’m here,” I reply, but we all know I’m not.
“Was this too much?”
Yes.
“No, not at all.” I flash him a smile and get into the truck. We drive home, his fingers loosely tangled with mine. Zoey falls asleep on the way back and Styx plays softly in the background. From the side-view mirror, I see Tanner and Nate behind us. Tanner obnoxiously waves to me when he realizes I’m watching.
“You’re not a good liar, Ace.”
I gently recline my head to the headrest and sigh. He’s right. I’m a horrible liar. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the night.”
He tightly squeezes my hand and smiles.
“You didn’t ruin the night. Maybe we moved too fast. Maybe we should’ve found a place to eat in town.”
<
br /> Guilt knots my stomach. I don’t want to be that stick in the mud. Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I enjoy a nice dinner with a nice man?
“Charlie used me as a showpiece,” I tell him quietly. “I used to have to stand tall, look pretty, laugh at everyone’s stupid jokes. And the whole time, we were too far away from home.” I shift my gaze to him, but he watches the road. “I didn’t think longing for home would still affect me like it did when I was with him. So, I’m sorry. It’s going to take me some time to adjust to a life without him.”
“And that’s okay,” he assures me. “Not much has changed, Aria. We’re still us. We still eat dinner together every night, we still do the horizontal tango in the wee hours of the morning—”
I snort at that last one, which brings a boyish grin to his face.
“There’s no pressure, okay? Don’t think you have to put on an act for me. Because even if we were sitting on the couch at home with the TV off, I’d still be happy spending time with you.”
The kicker is, I would too. I enjoy Dr. Derek Hawthorn, the vet who lives two doors down from me. I enjoy the little girl curled up on the back seat with her sweater over her to keep her warm.
“We haven’t talked about the baby,” I tell him.
He doesn’t flinch. But he does stiffen. It’s the constant reminder Charlie will be in our lives whether he’s dead or not. …And this isn’t Derek’s child.
“I’m here to support you with whatever you need.”
I fidget with his fingers as I try to find the right words.
“It’s funny isn’t it? Usually if you knocked someone up, you’d feel some sort of responsibility. But this one isn’t yours…”
“Not biologically, no.” He looks to me seriously. “Zoey isn’t biologically yours, but you love her, don’t you?”
“Without a shadow of a doubt,” I say seriously. I briefly glance over my shoulder and weakly smile while she remains so peacefully still.
“I—it’s weird talking about forever when we’re just starting. I’m in, Aria. I’m all in. I’ll help you raise the baby if you want me to. Whether it’s as a father, or an uncle, or just the neighbor who lives down the street.”
Make Me Dream (The Sage Creek Series Book 1) Page 29