Arrogant Playboy

by Wolf, Alex

  If I’m being honest about my reaction to everything, truth be told, it happened so fast I don’t even remember a lot of it, other than I said fuck you to her and told her she made me sick.

  I’m just about back to normal, though. Back to my old self, not trusting anyone and kicking people’s asses all over the courtroom. The highlight of my week was making a prosecutor cry. Good, they should fear me at the courthouse.

  An added bonus is nobody tries to make small talk with me at work. I just come in, do my job, and everyone else can fuck off.

  I’m in my office, eating some lunch before I have to get back to the courthouse for the afternoon rounds when Tate walks in.

  Fuck me.

  She already reamed me once at the reception. Enough is enough.

  She doesn’t look pissed off though. She’s smiling and has a tan. They went to the Maldives or some shit and just got back.

  She takes a seat and makes herself at home. Damn, this might take a while. I can’t be mean to her and it’s eating me up inside that she has the upper hand because of what I did.

  “How are things, Donavan?”

  I sigh. “Really?”

  “Okay, maybe that was a shit question, but I really am worried about you.”

  “Why?” I shrug. “You don’t even like me, and everything is easier now.”

  She glances at the wall, then back at me. “You can’t bury this and forget it ever happened. Have you seen someone to talk about it?”

  I snicker. “A shrink?”

  She nods. “Uhh, yeah.”

  I shake my head. “Not really my style. And I’m kind of busy so…” I don’t want to be rude to her, but I do not want to have this conversation either.

  “Eating lunch?”

  “Gotta be back to the courthouse—”

  She cuts me off. “Have you talked to her?”

  My eyes widen. “Uhh, no, she pretended to date me and tried to sabotage my family’s business. Why the hell would I talk to her?”

  “Because you love her.”

  “Not anymore I don’t.”

  She sighs. “Don’t be a stubborn asshole. Those feelings don’t go away.”

  “Jesus Christ, Dr. Phil.” I stop when her jaw clenches. “Look, sorry. But it’s over. And I am sorry it went down that way. I actually mean that. I didn’t mean to ruin your wedding.”

  Tate leans back in the chair. “Just part of the reception, the wedding was perfect.”

  My eyebrows shoot up. “So, you’re not mad?”

  “Oh, I’m still fucking furious. But…” She pauses and shakes her head. “Believe it or not, I don’t hate you, and I’m worried about you. And, I want answers. Don’t you want answers?”

  “Not really.”

  “Donavan, there has to be a reason she did this other than just to be an asshole to you. You know her. Do you really believe she’d be that vindictive? And why now?”

  I shrug. “I don’t even know who she is anymore, so yeah, she’s probably that vindictive. I abandoned her and her family when her mom died. Now, we’re even. And I don’t really care. It’s over.”

  Tate stands up, tense. She walks to the door, then turns back. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, or make Decker force you to talk about shit you don’t want to talk about, but you’re my brother now, whether you like it or not, and I care about my family. That includes you. And as your sister, and not a coworker, you really should talk to someone. You can’t keep this all bottled up. It’ll kill you.”

  “Thanks, sis.” I feel like an asshole, but what the fuck? Paisley did this. Not me. Tate needs to direct her line of inquiry elsewhere. I said I was sorry about making a scene at the wedding, the rest I’m wiping my hands of.

  Tate huffs out a sigh. “Yeah, bro.”

  The second she walks out I exhale a long breath I’d been holding, and my palms twitch. Every feeling in the world creeps back into my chest again at the thought of Paisley. How close we were to fixing everything. Having everything. The walls start to close in on me and I can barely breathe.

  It feels like I’m in a junk yard, where they smash the cars and that huge press is crushing me into a tiny block of metal. How did I get here? How did I put myself in this situation? Make myself vulnerable to this? I wanted to believe things had changed, that maybe I was better. But the fact is, I was weak. I let my guard down and got taken advantage of. It won’t happen again.

  I hate the world. I fucking hate everything.

  Paisley

  It’s been one month to the day, since the worst night of my life. I can still see Donavan’s face. Every time I close my eyes, it’s like he’s right there in front of me, bright red, gripping me by the wrist, snarling at me. I can’t even hear the words, all I see are his eyes, all the anger and hurt.

  I haven’t left my apartment. I walked out front once, and the sunlight hit my face, and I turned around and walked back in. I don’t know what to do. Dad calls and I send him to voicemail. He stops by a few times a week, and I put on my game face enough for him to think I’m okay, then get him out as fast as I can, before I break down again.

  This is what agony feels like. I thought it was bad back at the end of law school, but this is a whole other level.

  My phone buzzes on the coffee table and I pick it up and stare at it.

  Bennett Cooper.

  I shouldn’t answer. Why the hell is he even calling me? To gloat? I haven’t talked to him since everything went down.

  The anger building over the last month rushes into my face and I pick up the phone. “What?” I practically growl the word at him.

  I swear he snickers on the other end, but I can’t be sure. I’m sure he’s doing that arrogant smirk of his.

  “Look, Paisley…”

  “You set it up, didn’t you? Did you ever even care if I sent you information at all, or did you just want to destroy their family?”

  Bennett sighs. “It wasn’t personal. Just business.”

  “Just business?” My voice goes up about three notes. “You fucking hung me out to dry! You used me, asshole!”

  He remains calm and collected. “Oh, look at the facts. Stop getting all emotional. It’s not you.”

  “Did you basically just tell me to calm down?”

  “Your grandparents are getting the best care money can buy. You’re taking care of your family. Stepping up to the plate and doing what has to be done. It’s why you’re the best. You’re a shark.”

  “What the hell are you even saying?”

  “Come back to New York. Your desk is waiting for you.”

  “Fuck. You.”

  He snickers. “You’ll come around.” Then he hangs up before I can get another word out.

  I toss my phone across the table and mumble, “Fucking asshole.”

  I sit there, stewing, steam coming out of my ears. Part of me wants to thank him for it. It’s the first time in weeks I’ve been pissed off at someone other than myself. What the hell am I going to do?

  There’s no way in hell I’ll go back to work for that piece of shit. I’ll have to get a job at another firm. Maybe I’ll go away, move somewhere new. But I can’t. Grandma and Grandpa are here. I have to let Cooper keep paying for them until he realizes I’m not coming back, then have another plan ready.

  What I want to do is just sit here and watch Jerry McGuire the rest of my life, eating ice cream and getting fat, never showing my face to the world. I’m already getting stir crazy, though. I need to be working. Doing something other than sitting here thinking about Donavan Collins and our roller coaster existence.

  The worst part is, I still love him. I’ll never stop loving him and my life would be so much easier if I could just turn that switch off. I watch these romance movies, thinking we’ll have some big moment, where the two of us both admit how much we screwed up, both say that’s what’s so great about us, coming back together afterward and it making us even stronger.

  Which is all a bunch of bullshit. I hurt him and he
hurt me. It was like a heavyweight fight, and he knocked me out the first time, and I knocked him out the next one. We have the black eyes and bruises to prove it.

  There’s a knock at my door.

  “Go away!” I yell, way harsher than intended. A second later, I take a deep breath. “Sorry, Dad, just now isn’t a good time.”

  “It’s not your dad.” It’s a woman’s voice. It almost sounds like—Tate.

  What the hell?

  I walk over to the door and look through the peephole. Sure enough, it’s her, the Chicago version of me, but with curly blonde hair.

  “Tate, it’s not…”

  “You owe me.” That’s all she says, those three words.

  She’s right. Reluctantly, I sigh, and open the door.

  The second I see her she doesn’t look anywhere near as pissed off as I expect. She doesn’t look angry at all. There’s just one thing in her eyes—pity.

  I offer her a weak smile and step out of the way.

  She walks in. “Oh, uhh, wow.”

  “Sorry about the mess.”

  There are takeout boxes all over the table. I’m in sweat pants and a Columbia Law t-shirt.

  “You’ve been hungry.”

  I do my best to hold it together, but it’s so hard. Just seeing her reminds me of being in the office, Donavan in his suits, the wedding all over again.

  “Look, Tate, I’m really—”

  She holds up a hand and takes a seat on the couch. “Save it. I didn’t come for an apology.”

  “Okay, umm, why are you here then? Because I have to be honest, I don’t know how much more of this I can take right now.”

  Tate turns to the side and leans toward me. “I want to know why.”

  “Huh?”

  “I want to know why. You had a reason for doing what you did. I’ve seen you look at Donavan. You’re head over heels for him. Still are. Nobody is that good of an actress. Women like us don’t get knocked down like this…” She cranes her head around the room. “Over a work setback. You’re still in Chicago. I want to know what really happened.”

  “How did you know I was still here and not back in New York City?”

  Tate leans back, and eyes me up and down. She’s so much like me it’s a little scary. “Can I trust you?”

  I snicker. “You have no reason to. I wouldn’t.”

  “Well, I’m going to, because you were just honest with me when you could’ve lied. Decker has people watching Bennett Cooper too. That’s how I knew you haven’t been back.”

  “Fair enough. He fucking deserves it.”

  Tate’s eyes widen. “So, you’re not going back?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know what I’ll do, but no.”

  Tate leans in. “Tell me what happened.”

  Just like that, the tears start up again and I bury my face in my hands and spill my guts.

  I tell her everything, down to the last detail.

  I don’t even know how it happened, but Tate is next to me with her arms wrapped around my shoulders. It’s utterly humiliating, and yet it feels so good to have someone comfort me. I just wish it was Donavan. He always made me feel so safe when I was with him, and right now I feel vulnerable from every angle possible. Like I’m completely naked without any protection and a speeding train is heading right for me.

  I cry into Tate’s shoulder, just trying to release everything inside me, all the anger, hurt, remorse.

  “I-I didn’t want to choose. I d-didn’t want to do that to him. I was going to tell him as soon as you guys left, after the wedding. I swear on my life. It was killing me inside, every day.”

  Her hand smooths down my hair and I rock back and forth against her.

  “I c-can’t believe I did that to him.”

  “Well.” Tate sighs. “The two of you are something else, that’s for damn sure. I wouldn’t give up on everything just yet, though.”

  I pull back and stare at her. “What?”

  She nods. “You were taking care of your family. If Donavan doesn’t realize that he has his head up his ass, and you’ll just have to pull it out of there. And he may act hard, but I can see it written all over his face. There’s no mistaking the fact he’s still in love with you, and that means there’s hope.”

  “I mean it. I was going to tell him, I was just, I didn’t want to ruin your wedding and it got ruined anyway. I’m so sorry.” The tears come back again, and I can’t remember ever being so emotional in my life.

  “Look, just cry it out, get it out of your system.”

  I shake my head and the tears won’t stop coming. I bury my face in her shoulder again.

  “Fuck, this is intense.”

  “You don’t understand, Tate.” I sniff again, because there’s one more thing I have to tell her.

  “Understand what?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  Tate leans back and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Really?” Her eyes light up, but then it’s like the whole situation crashes back into her too. She shakes her head. “Fuck.” She draws out the syllable.

  I know the look on her face. She’s concocting a plan, scheming.

  I want to just die, and at the same time it feels like a little of the weight just lifted, giving me room to breathe. Not even Dad knows about the baby. Donavan’s baby.

  “Okay, look. Just cry it out a bit more, but then get your balls back. You’re going to need them.”

  “What? Why?”

  “To put up with all the assholes around the office.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t go back there. It’s not going to happen.”

  Tate puts her hands on my shoulders again, and she looks like she wants to shake me. “Trust me, he’ll forgive you. And the other boys will too. They might act like hard asses, but they’re soft as hell on the inside. And that baby is a Collins. It’s part of the family. Nothing means more to all those boys than family, trust me.”

  “I appreciate it, Tate. I really do. But I just don’t think I can. It’s too much stress and I have someone else to think about now.” My hands go down to my stomach. I still can’t believe Donavan’s child is in there, growing every day.

  “Fuck it then. You’re still a badass. Dust yourself off and find a new firm. You belong in the ocean with the sharks. There aren’t enough of us around.”

  Tate gets up and I follow her to the door.

  “Thank you for coming by. Seriously. Nobody else has even talked to me.” I look away. “Not that I expected them to or anything, but it’s very kind of you. You didn’t have to do that, and it feels nice to know at least things are good between us.”

  She gives me a little nod and a smile.

  I look off at the corner of the ceiling and sigh. “Bet you regret asking me to be a bridesmaid.”

  Tate smiles and shakes her head. “Not at all.”

  “Really?”

  “Things happen that are supposed to happen.” Her eyes narrow. “And don’t worry about Decker. If you want to come back, he’ll forgive you and make it work. I’ll see to it.”

  Donavan

  I’m at my desk, still brooding, still pissed off at the world. Days go by and I do the same shit over and over. It’s been a month and that ache in every bone in my body hasn’t gone anywhere. If anything, it’s amplified a little more each morning when I wake up. I don’t know if it’ll ever go away.

  Tate is the only one who has even said anything. Everyone just goes on about their business, like we always do. Just ignore until it fades away, even though I know my brothers are secretly pissed about what I did at the wedding. Even though Decker’s the one who hired Paisley, against my advice, without even consulting me.

  But, hey, we’ve pretended nothing was wrong our entire lives, so we might as well keep the tradition going.

  Thank God I’m up to my elbows in work. People keep committing crimes, and I keep getting paid to get them out of trouble.

  Quinn’s voice comes over my phone speaker. “Donavan, Decke
r needs to see you.”

  Fuck, I’ll be glad when she passes the bar and I don’t have to hear her bark those words at me. I’m sure he’ll replace her with someone else who does it just as well.

  “Tell him I’ll be right there.”

  I lean back and look at all the papers strewn all over my desk and toss my highlighter down on top of them. I mumble, “What the fuck is it now?”

  It better not be something petty, like how I bound together some paperwork wrong or took a file and didn’t put it back the right way on the shelf. I might explode on his ass. Don’t care if he just got married or not, the statute of limitations is up on the wedding fiasco and it’s time for him to mellow the fuck out.

  I walk through the office and people see me and just get out of the way. Good.

  I walk past Quinn and into his office. He’s sitting behind his desk and it’s cleared. That’s odd. It also tells me this is some kind of ambush, if he doesn’t even have files out. What the hell is this?

  I shake my head when I get halfway to the chair in front of his desk. “Not now.” I turn on a dime and start to walk out.

  About that time, Deacon and Dexter fill up the doorframe and cage me in.

  Goddamn it.

  They step inside the room and shut the doors.

  I bow up in front of them. “Get out of the way.”

  They both glare at me. “We need to talk. You owe Decker an apology, it’s been long enough.”

  I smirk. “Fuck off. I have work to do.”

  “We need to talk about this. I don’t give a shit if you apologize, but we need to discuss things.” I hear Decker’s chair slide out from under him.

  “That’s good you don’t care.” I wheel around. “Because I’m not apologizing. Paisley did this.” God, why does it hurt so bad to say her name? “I didn’t do anything any of you wouldn’t have. Yeah, I blew my top and maybe could’ve handled it better. But—” I spin around on the twin assholes. “You two did the exact same shit, did you not? And all of you hired her. Not me.”