I can’t think of anything worse. ‘I’m tired, Shelby,’ I say. ‘We’ll leave you to it. I’ll see you when you get back to the hotel.’
‘Of course, I won’t stay. Give me five minutes. Let me say goodnight to everyone and then I’m all yours.’
‘If you’re sure.’
Shelby moves back into his crowd. I turn to Lucas and puff out a heavy breath. He pulls out his phone. ‘He’ll be an hour,’ he mutters.
In the end, Shelby is considerably longer than five minutes but less than an hour. Lucas and I wait, if not all that patiently.
Eventually, Shelby joins us all smiles and apologies and we walk together to the hotel. I’m glad it’s not far as Lucas is all angles and tension. And I’ve got the mother of all headaches.
Chapter Fifty-One
‘We should have a drink in the bar,’ Shelby says when we’re in reception. ‘A last snifter.’
‘I’m tired,’ I say. ‘I’d rather go to bed, if you don’t mind.’
‘I’m off.’ Lucas turns towards the lifts, making his escape as soon as he can. ‘I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it.’
‘Goodnight, son!’ Shelby holds up a hand to wave. ‘It’s been great having you here.’
To Lucas’s credit he doesn’t say what I know will be going through his mind.
Then Shelby turns to me. ‘He’s a great kid. You’ve done a fantastic job with him.’
He’s talking as if he’s spent the entire evening chatting with his only child whereas he’s pretty much ignored both of us. I’m sure if he really knew what was going on in Lucas’s life – our life – he wouldn’t be quite so jolly.
‘One drink.’ He takes my hand and pulls me towards the empty bar. ‘A nightcap. Humour me.’
I feel that resistance is futile. Shelby is still wired and not ready to head to bed. So I follow him and we find a seat by the window that looks onto the street. Clearly, Shelby feels that no one will spot him at this hour. A weary-looking waiter comes to take our order.
‘I’ll have a Jack Daniel’s,’ he says. ‘Molly?’
‘I’m fine, thanks.’ My headache isn’t easing and I just want to lie down. The carpet is like a multi-coloured migraine and there’s tinny muzak playing over a speaker right by our table.
‘Have something!’ He rolls his eyes at me.
‘A Baileys.’ ‘A Baileys,’ I echo to keep the peace and a few moments later the waiter reappears with a drink that I don’t want.
This is my moment to tell Shelby, I guess. The two of us, alone. I could prepare him before he has to talk to Lucas about the forthcoming baby. Reluctantly, I sip my Baileys and think of how to frame the words to make the least impact.
‘It’s bloody hard work this, and I’m not getting any younger,’ Shelby says. ‘I have to hold my own with these kids. You’ve seen what it’s like. The pace is relentless.’
‘At least you don’t get water thrown over you all the time like Wishee-Washee.’
‘All that bloody dry ice, though. It’s playing havoc with my throat.’ He rubs it to demonstrate.
I’m sure it is, but my mind is saying First world problems.
‘The hours are back-breaking. I’ve had to do this twice today. It’s exhausting.’
I put down my glass and it clinks loudly on the table. ‘But you don’t have to do it,’ I remind him. ‘There’s no need.’
He visibly bristles at that. ‘I have to work.’
‘Do you?’ I think of the mansion standing empty, the posh car, the chauffeur, the housekeeper. There must be plenty of dosh in the coffers. If he sold the house and drove his own car, he’d never need to act again.
‘Have you noticed, recently, who’s funding Hope Farm? Those bloody animals are literally eating me out of house and home.’
Now it’s my turn to bristle. ‘You can stop at any time you like,’ I say softly. ‘We’ll manage.’
‘How?’ Shelby snaps. ‘Tell me how?’
It’s not the time to say that I managed perfectly well before Shelby came on the scene. Perhaps that’s stretching it, but we did muddle through. It was a hand-to-mouth existence and that has eased considerably since Shelby came along, but I don’t want him holding that against me.
‘I know that it’s thanks to you that we found the current farm we occupy and you have, no doubt, been generous – extraordinarily so. It’s been fantastic.’ I keep my voice as calm as I can. ‘You really helped to get us out of a hole, but I don’t want you to feel beholden to us. I don’t want you having to take jobs that you’re not enjoying. We can do more fund-raising, like the nativity.’
‘How’s that coming along?’
I can’t really tell him that it’s shaping up to be a disaster. ‘Fine,’ I say. ‘Slowly.’
‘Christmas isn’t far away.’
‘I know. And this will soon be over and you’ll be home again.’ He doesn’t look as thrilled by the thought as I’d hoped.
Then his expression changes and his face softens. Shelby drains his glass and then looks over at me.
‘Shit. I’m an arse.’ He grasps my hand. ‘You’ve come all the way to see me and yet I’ve hardly spent any time with you. And now I’m doing nothing but complain. I’m sorry, Molly. It wasn’t what I’d envisaged.’
I dredge up a smile. ‘Me neither.’
‘I’ll make it up to you, I promise.’ He stands and pulls me to my feet too. My toes hurt in my silly shoes. ‘Let’s go to bed.’
We take the lift up to Shelby’s palatial room on the top floor of the hotel. I’d guess that it’s one of the best as there’s a view over the lights of Birmingham from the huge floor-to-ceiling windows. I stand looking out over the city feeling like a stranger, an intruder.
He closes the door and then comes to stand behind me, nuzzling my neck. He gathers me into his arms, kissing me deeply. I’d like to say that it feels like the connection between us comes flooding back, but it doesn’t. I don’t really want this intimacy. I wish I’d gone home, back to my comfy caravan and my dogs.
We make love. But, for the first time, I feel that both of us are acting.
Chapter Fifty-Two
I’m awake at dawn. Truth to tell, I didn’t really sleep, only fitful bursts. I’ve not much experience of them, but I’ve decided I don’t like hotel rooms. I was too hot, too cold, too troubled.
Shelby is fast asleep, out for the count. I tiptoe out of bed and look out of the panoramic window again. A pink blush is colouring the city and I wonder if it’s the same at Hope Farm. We get the most beautiful sunrises there. I sigh to myself. Our adventure in pantoland is over. It’s time for us to be heading home to the country.
I text Lucas. Breakfast in five.
Miraculously, he texts me a smiley face straight back.
Then I message Ken, who’s also in the same hotel somewhere, and tell him that we’ll be ready to head off in about half an hour.
Gathering my things, I put my bag by the door. On hotel notepaper, I write a note to Shelby. Thanks for a lovely evening. Hope all goes well today. Speak soon. I only hesitate briefly before I scribble, Love Molly xx
I put the note on the pillow next to him. He doesn’t stir at all, so I creep out. Downstairs, Lucas and I meet at the door to the breakfast room.
‘Did you tell him?’ are Lucas’s first words.
I shake my head. ‘I couldn’t find the right moment,’ I admit and feel as if I’ve failed Lucas. Though, it has to be said, Lucas looks relieved.
‘I think we’ll have to wait until he’s home at Christmas. He might be in a more receptive mood then.’
Lucas looks hopeful. ‘You think?’
‘No, not really.’
‘He’s totally going to lose his shit when he finds out, isn’t he?’
‘Yes.’
I don’t know why, but we both chuckle – it’s not even funny. I link my arm through his as we walk into breakfast together. ‘That was an utterly crap night,’ is Lucas’s verdict and, I have to say, I wholehe
artedly agree.
The breakfast was good, so that’s one thing. As we set off for home, I text Matt to say that we’re on our way back and then nap in the car on the journey. Ken must drive smoothly, as I only wake as we pull up at the gate to Hope Farm.
‘Rise and shine, sleepyhead,’ Lucas says from the front seat. ‘Wipe the dribble from your chin.’
I check, but there’s no dribble. I do, however, feel an awful lot better for a doze.
‘Home, sweet home,’ Lucas adds and it certainly is. I could not be more relieved to get back here. I’m desperate to put my wellies on and get out in the fields. I might have only been away one night, but it feels like an eternity.
Matt comes to open the gate and he’s beaming widely. All the dogs are going bonkers and I feel my spirits lift. I squat down and fuss them all. Little Dog pulls back his lips in the biggest smile. The geese come and honk hello. This is my home, where I am my happiest.
‘Did you have a great time?’ Matt asks.
‘It was like the curate’s egg,’ I admit. ‘Good in parts.’
‘Panto is shit,’ is Lucas’s more succinct verdict. ‘Never am I ever going to see it again even if my old man is in it.’
‘I don’t mind a bit of panto,’ Matt says.
‘The show was good, funny,’ I tell him. ‘The rest of it was a bit . . . complicated.’
‘Ah.’ He doesn’t press the matter.
‘How’s everything here?’
‘All present and correct,’ he says. ‘We only had one minor hiccup. Betty Bad Dog ate all my used tea bags from the draining board, but she’s lived to tell the tale.’
‘A favourite habit,’ I say. ‘I should have mentioned it.’
Betty wags her tail innocently.
‘They all slept on the bed with me, too,’ Matt says. ‘That was interesting. I’ve never woken up with a dog on my head before. It was an experience.’
‘I hope it was Little Dog rather than Big Dog.’
‘We had fun didn’t we, guys?’ They all go into a frenzy of barking. He’s obviously their new best friend and I wonder how many treats they had while I was away. There’s some serious bonding gone on.
Ken flips the boot and gives us our overnight bags.
‘Can’t thank you enough, Ken.’
‘I’ll see you soon, Molly.’ He ruffles Lucas’s hair. Which Lucas hates, except when a few favoured people do it – Ken being one of them. ‘Be good. Or, if you can’t be good, be really awful.’
They high-five each other. Then we stand and wave as Ken drives away. I watch as the car trundles down the lane and turns into the road.
‘Thank fuck that’s over,’ Lucas says and stomps off toward the caravan.
I have to agree with him. I’m relieved that our adventure is over too.
‘I have a few surprises for you,’ Matt says as he takes my bag from me.
‘I’m not sure I can cope with surprises,’ I warn him.
‘These are nice surprises,’ he assures me. ‘You’ll definitely like them.’
Chapter Fifty-Three
I follow Matt to the tea room and as he throws open the door I recoil. All the students shout ‘Merry Christmas!’
Then I stare at him in awe. ‘You’ve all been busy.’
‘I hoped it would be completely finished, but you came back a bit earlier than I thought.’
The tea room has been draped with Christmassy bunting made in red, green and gold. It looks like the kids have each decorated their own as the style is definitely eclectic. In the corner of the tea room, there’s another large tree, hung with handmade baubles.
Gaping, I try to take in all of their handiwork. ‘How did you do this? When did you do this?’
‘We got cracking as soon as you left and they put in some extra time too,’ Matt says. ‘Everyone came in early today and we worked our socks off this morning, didn’t we kids?’
‘This is fantastic. Well done, everyone.’ The kids are giddy with excitement and I feel a thrill of joy too. Maybe now Christmas has finally kicked in. ‘Give yourselves a round of applause.’
So we all clap and Matt shouts out, ‘Guys! There are biscuits and hot chocolate at the counter. Help yourselves.’ As one, the kids dash over there to swamp Jack, who’s on duty.
But the very best thing of all is that Alan and Bev are here decorating the tree too. I’m just so relieved to see them both, and I fly across the room to hug Alan. ‘How are you?’
‘Good.’ He looks tired, a little more fragile, his band T-shirt hangs more loosely. But he’s here and standing.
Lucas comes in and gapes at the decorations. ‘Wow. You lot have been busy. We’ve only been gone one night. It’s totally cool.’
The students glow from his approval.
Bev, at the top of the ladder, replies, ‘The kids did most of this, under Matt’s supervision.’
I turn to Matt again. ‘I don’t know how you managed it.’
‘With some skill and much subterfuge,’ he says. ‘They’ve been brilliant. How they kept it a secret, I’ll never know. I thought they were going to burst.’
What a guy. He’s obviously skilled in mobilising our students. Seems I didn’t need to worry at all about leaving Hope Farm in his care.
‘They’ve been making decorations during their craft classes.’ There are glittered pine cones, little paper baskets with sweets in them, wool pompoms and stars made from recycled straws. It looks fabulous.
‘I’ve just been to The Range to buy a fairy to go on the top.’ Bev fixes the fairy and climbs down. ‘Likey?’
‘Lovey!’ I reply. ‘But the best news of all is that you’re back here.’
‘Alan’s got to walk every day, so we thought we’d suit up and head out across the fields. Coming?’
‘I can think of nothing better.’
‘No more scares,’ I tell Alan. ‘My heart can’t cope.’
‘Matching band T-shirts again,’ Lucas notes. ‘All is well in the world.’
Alan glances shyly at Bev and she throws her arms round him. ‘This one’s not getting away from me again.’
We wait until the students have finished their drinks and then we decide to take them all out for a walk with some of the animals too. There’s a great performance while we put halters on the alpacas, the donkeys, two of the pygmy goats and a couple of the sheep; and of course, our permanent doggy companions come along too.
As a noisy, unruly rabble – the kids and the animals – we head out across the fields. The kids are excitable, the alpacas are as skittish as always, the goats try to headbutt everyone. It’s a bright, sunny day and we’re all wrapped up against the cold. I feel that I can breathe again. I know that some people want to travel the world, but I don’t even want to leave the farm. Why should I when I have all this?
Even Lucas has joined us which has made the girls very happy. They gather round him in a huddle, all sparkly ear muffs, fluffy gloves and lip gloss. They all hang on his every word and he doesn’t seem to mind one bit. In fact, I think he’s positively basking in the warmth of their adoration. And why not? Soon he’ll be weighed down with responsibility. Penny is right by his side and she looks at him adoringly. She will be crushed when she finds out about Aurora and the impending baby. I wonder how different things would have been if he’d been seeing someone more his own age. Again my heart breaks for him, for his future.
We do a tour of the fields, visiting the ponies – Buzz Lightyear, Ringo, and our new little lady, Beyoncé – en route. Then we stop off to see how Sweeney and Carter, our Shire horses, are – and I’ve brought a bag of carrots as treats for them. As always, the students are all eager to feed them and these gentle giants are less likely to nip than the alpacas. We try to leave them outside as much as possible, but they have stalls up here and in the yard for when it’s too cold.
‘Do you ride?’ I ask Matt.
‘Yeah.’ He’s strokes Sweeney’s neck. ‘Haven’t done so for ages, though.’
‘W
e can take these boys out one weekend, if you like.’
‘That would be great. I’ll definitely be rusty.’
‘Me too. I ride with Lucas sometimes, but not as often as I’d like.’
Bev comes over to me. ‘I think we’ll head back,’ she says. ‘Alan’s done very well but he’s tired now. I’ll try to make him sit on the sofa and read while I make lunch.’
‘Thanks, Bev.’ I feel overwhelmed with love for them both. ‘You don’t know how pleased I am to have you back. Both of you.’
‘It was such a scare,’ she whispers. ‘I want to wrap him up in cotton wool. I can’t bear to let him out of my sight. I even follow him to the loo.’
‘Too much information,’ I say and we both laugh.
‘It could have been so much worse.’ I can tell from her face that this has been a terrible ordeal for them both. ‘But we’ve had a warning. I’m going to mollycoddle him from now on.’
‘He won’t know what’s hit him.’
‘Half an hour until lunch. Don’t be late.’
I watch as Bev and Alan amble slowly back towards the yard, arm-in-arm. Alan’s steps are slow, hesitant, but I’m sure with Bev’s tender loving care he’ll soon be back on form. I’ve been on the receiving end of Bev’s care before now and I know how good it is.
While I’m not watching, Johnny Rotten takes the opportunity to slip his halter and sets off across the field at an impressive pace.
‘Who let go of the flipping alpaca?’ I shout.
Matt and I look at each other and, with a laugh, we both give chase.
Chapter Fifty-Four
When the day is done and all the animals are fed, watered and put to bed, I can finally wind down.
‘Shall we have a takeaway?’ I say to Lucas. I’m tired after my fitful night and can’t face cooking.
‘I’m supposed to be going to Aurora’s place,’ he says. ‘I’ve been messaging her but she’s not replying.’
‘Could you try going old school and call her?’
I get a dark look for my suggestion. But he brings up her number, nevertheless. ‘Still no reply.’
Christmas for Beginners: Fall in love with the ultimate festive read from the Sunday Times bestseller Page 21