by Lea Coll
“Yeah, surely you’ve left some broken hearts behind.” His smile was teasing and sweet, but I saw the worry in his eyes too.
“No. I dated in college and law school but I never let anyone in.”
“I can understand that and it makes it more amazing that you let me in—that you trust me—that you love me.”
I wanted to stay in this bed and soak in Tanner’s love. Would one perfect day fulfill me for the rest of my days? Right now, it felt like it could.
Tanner’s phone buzzed with an incoming message and he moved to grab it. “Bree wants me to pick Rylan up. She probably has plans or something.”
As much as I wanted to stay in bed, I was excited to spend time with our families and Rylan. “No problem. I’m excited to see Rylan. I thought we’d spend time with her last night.”
“I love that.” He kissed my lips lightly. “Let’s take a shower, but no hanky panky, Cole. Rylan’s with Bree’s parents but it still worries me.” He climbed out from under the covers, his voice teasing.
“Of course. We can be quick.”
I stood—the sheets slipped off my body. Tanner rounded the bed, naked in front of me. “Stay tonight.” He cupped my breasts in his hands as if weighing them. My breath caught as his thumb passed over my nipple, a zing traveling straight to my core.
“You’re not playing fair. You can’t touch me like that and not—”
“Not what?” he asked, his voice low.
“Follow through.” My voice trailed off as he grabbed my hand, leading me to the shower.
“We might have a little time.” He winked before turning on the shower.
In the shower, Tanner followed through by kneeling on the tile, and with a wicked grin, he licked me from core to clit. When he added his fingers, I saw stars as he lifted me in his arms, my back against the slick shower tile, and entered me in one motion. It was fast and hard. After, when he held me against him, warm water streaming over our sated bodies, it was as if something inside me broke through and let loose. All of the coiled-up tension I’d held inside was gone and all that was left was an openness, happiness, and a feeling that all I needed was Tanner.
Tanner
On the way to Bree’s parents’ house, I reached over to take Sadie’s hand and noticed her
smiling at me.
“You should smile more often. You’re even more beautiful when you’re happy.”
At my words, she smiled even wider. I loved that I could bring that out in her. That I was the only one who saw Sadie Cole. I pulled into Bree’s parents’ driveway and panic filled me. “Her car isn’t here.”
I threw the truck into park and was out the door, sensing Sadie following me. Bree was so irresponsible. Why hadn’t her parents called to say she left? Was she like that before we had Rylan and I just never noticed or was it motherhood that had her running scared?
“Do you think she took Rylan somewhere?” Sadie’s voice was quiet.
“I hope not.” My voice sounded rough and strained. Please have left Rylan with your parents.
Bree’s mother, Grace, opened the door. “Tanner, thanks for coming. Rylan was just eating a snack.”
“Rylan’s here.” The realization sent air whooshing out of my lungs at once.
Grace frowned. “Yes.”
I barely felt Sadie’s arms wrap around my back in comfort. “Where’s Bree?”
“She’s meeting with a friend or something. Come in.” Grace’s voice was tight with disapproval. She didn’t like Bree’s behavior any more than I did. Maybe they could get through to her when it wasn’t my place.
“I hate this for Rylan,” I said quietly to Bree’s mom once we’d stepped inside.
“I hate it as much as you, but the good thing is that she brought Rylan to us and we can care for her while Bree is off doing whatever she’s doing.”
“That’s what has me worried.” Was she really hanging out with friends on Thanksgiving? My heart broke for Rylan, who just wanted to be the most important person in Bree’s eyes.
Sadie offered her hand to Bree’s mom. “Hi, I’m Sadie Cole. It’s nice to meet you.”
“I’m sorry. I should have introduced you. Sadie’s my girlfriend.” It was new and my worry for Rylan had taken over, but it still felt good to introduce Sadie as my girlfriend and have her by my side. I wasn’t worrying about Rylan by myself. I had my parents, Bree’s parents, and now Sadie.
“Grace Chatwin. Nice to meet you as well. Come into the kitchen.”
Sadie walked ahead of us into the kitchen to hug Rylan. I heard her introduce herself to Bree’s dad, Wesley.
Bree’s mom patted my arm. “I’m happy for you, Tanner. You deserve someone good in your life.”
The fact that her mom wanted me to be happy with someone else was interesting. In the beginning, Bree’s parents wanted us to be together. To be a family. Things were so precarious with Bree lately, though, that their concern for Bree morphed into concern for Rylan as well as me. They’d become pseudo-parents to me. “Thank you.”
We stepped into the kitchen, where Bree’s dad was laughing with Sadie.
“Daddy!” Rylan exclaimed and jumped down from the stool at the counter to run to me. I lifted her easily into the air as she laughed—relief flooding through me that she was safe in my arms.
Hugging her to me, I said, “Happy Thanksgiving. Did you have a good time with your grandparents?”
“Yes. We baked pies.”
“Did you now?” I raised a brow at Bree’s parents.
“Yes, she loves to bake,” Grace said.
“Are you ready to get going? We are eating lunch with Sadie’s grandparents and then headed to yours for dinner,” I asked Rylan.
“I get to meet Sadie’s grandparents?” Her eyes were wide as they rested on Sadie.
“That’s right. They’re excited to meet you.”
Bree’s dad gathered her things, placing them in an overnight bag, and handed it to me as we walked out. Rylan chattered about what we’d be eating for Thanksgiving. As I strapped Rylan into her car seat, Bree’s mom handed Sadie a pie. “Rylan made this. Maybe you could bring it to Tanner’s parents’ house.”
“Thank you so much. It was nice to meet you,” Sadie said.
We said our goodbyes and I pulled away, exchanging a look with Sadie. I’m sure she wanted to talk about what happened, but we couldn’t with Rylan.
Rylan chatted the whole way to Sadie’s grandparents’. We pulled up to the little house in town. I was excited to meet someone who was important to Sadie even if I wasn’t happy they’d abandoned her for years. I hoped they’d make up for it now.
Sadie knocked on the door and her grandmother opened it. “Oh good, you made it.”
“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” I held my hand out to the older woman.
“Oh, you can call me Jackie.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, Grandma.” Tears sparkled in Sadie’s eyes.
I pulled her into my side.
Her grandmother took one look at Rylan, grabbed her hand, and tugged her into the kitchen. “Now, you look like a young lady who can cook, yes?”
“I love to cook.” Rylan’s eyes were wide with excitement. Rylan loved the attention she received when someone took the time to teach her something—how to cook, how to dance. I assumed she lacked that undivided attention when she was with Bree. As much as that would have bothered me in the past, Rylan had so much love in her life that I knew she’d be okay.
“She’ll be fine for a few minutes. Let me introduce you to my grandfather.” We moved to the den with its wood-paneled walls.
Sadie approached his recliner and hugged him. “Grandpa, this is Tanner. His daughter, Rylan, is helping in the kitchen. Tanner, this is my grandfather, Ed.”
He stood, shaking my hand. “Nice to meet you.
The parade played on the TV, and while the room was dark with wood-paneled walls, it was still cozy with various afghans covering the chairs and couch, built-in shelves filled
with books, and photographs. I stood to get a closer look. There was picture after picture of a little girl in black pigtails and huge blue eyes helping in the garden, baking, biking. In each one, she was smiling. She was happy. It reminded me of my parents’ house and how they’d decorated every available surface with pictures.
“I’m going to help out with lunch.” Sadie touched my shoulder before leaving the room.
“So, Sadie caught your eye?” Ed’s voice came from behind me.
“Yes, she’s my daughter’s dance teacher.” I sat on the couch so we could talk easier.
“We’ve been missing from her life for too long. We’re not going to let that happen again. Sadie hasn’t had the easiest time in this town since what happened.” I caught the warning look he sent me.
“I’m not going to hurt her.” I kept my eyes on his, so he would see the truth of my words. If it was up to me, no one would hurt her again.
Having come to an understanding, we sat in companionable silence until it was time for lunch. Rylan charmed Sadie’s grandparents and I could see having us here was good for Sadie. I wanted her to know that I’d be the constant she could depend on in life no matter who else came and went—I’d always be here. I’d prove it to her with my words, my actions, my presence in her life.
Once lunch was cleaned up, I glanced at the time. I hated to tear her away from her grandparents so soon. “We’d better get going so we can go over to my parents’. Thank you so much for inviting us to spend lunch with you. I hope this is the beginning of many meals together.” I met Sadie’s eyes over Rylan’s head to see her lips tilting up into a smile.
“Absolutely. Come over anytime. We have a lot of time to make up for.”
“It’s okay, Grandma,” Sadie said, hugging her tight. “All that matters is that you’re here now.”
Raina’s selfish actions hurt Sadie and deprived her of a loving relationship with her grandparents. I wouldn’t let Bree do the same in our family.
I’d allowed Bree to hurt Rylan over and over again. It was time for me to step in and call her out on her behavior. I needed to raise my expectations for her. I couldn’t continue to let her slide through Rylan’s life in the same pattern.
I was supposed to have already made an appointment with Steve, but time got away from me. I needed to do it this week so that we could discuss the custody case. If I wanted something in my life, I needed to go for it. No more waiting for things to come around my way—I’d take what I wanted. What I wanted was a good mother for Rylan, whether that came in the form of an amazing stepmother, Bree filling her role, or both, I wasn’t sure.
Sadie
I’d met Tanner’s parents before so I shouldn’t have to worry about being nervous in their home. I kept repeating that to myself on the drive to their house, but I couldn’t slow the rapid beating of my heart or the nervous flutter in my stomach. Rylan kept up a constant chatter of stories about her overnight with Bree and her parents. I noticed that very few of the stories involved Bree. It made me wonder how much time Bree actually spent with her.
When we pulled into their driveway, Tanner opened my door and helped me out. “Are you nervous?”
“I am.” This was a big deal.
“You’ve already met them.” His eyes were amused.
“This is different. You’re bringing me to Thanksgiving as your girlfriend.”
He smoothed an errant strand of hair behind my ear. “They’ll love you, though. Nothing to worry about.”
I swayed toward him, eager for a comforting hug, but not sure how much affection was okay in front of Rylan. Instead, he squeezed my hand before opening Rylan’s door and unstrapping her.
She reached for both of our hands as we walked up to the porch and again, I was struck by this feeling of completeness—we were a family. I didn’t want to replace Bree as her mother. I didn’t know if I was even capable of being a good mother figure to her, but I wanted to try.
Deborah opened the door.
“Grandma!” Rylan ran inside and hugged her. “Happy Thanksgiving!”
“Happy Thanksgiving to you too.” She greeted us as Rylan ran past her. “I’m so glad you could make it, Sadie.”
The smells of turkey and pies were in the air and the sound of the TV ran in the background.
“They recorded the parade for us. Come on, Miss Sadie!” Rylan called from inside.
“She’s in the living room. Go ahead.” She gestured down the hall.
“Thank you for including me,” I said.
“You’re always welcome here,” Deborah said.
I smiled, wondering if that was true. What would it be like to spend holidays with family—my grandparents, Tanner’s parents? Did the Greens have weekly family dinners too? These were things I’d only read about it in books.
I paused at the doorway to the living room, Rylan was cuddled up on the couch with Bryan, the parade on the TV mounted above the fireplace. I crossed in front of them, eliciting an excited squeal from Rylan.
“Miss Sadie. Look what’s on.”
“I see. Have you seen any good floats yet?”
Rylan rambled about all of the characters from her favorite TV shows that she hoped to see in the parade. Tanner walked in and sat next to me on the couch. He pulled me into his side. “I like you here.”
“I like being here.”
We watched the parade for a while and then I got up to offer my help in the kitchen. I wasn’t a good cook, but Deborah was sweet enough to guide me. Hopefully, she’d continue to teach me.
“I think it’s great you moved here to be with Tanner.” I gathered the cloth napkins and silverware for the table.
“We didn’t want to miss out on our only grandchild. When things fell apart with Bree, I knew he needed us, so it was no problem moving to be closer. And we like it here. It’s quiet and peaceful most of the time.”
She was quiet for a few seconds, but her lips flattened into a straight line and her brow furrowed. “I saw that article in the paper. I think it’s awful they keep bringing it up. That has to be hard to keep reliving it.”
She patted my hand and carried the bowls of mashed potatoes and stuffing into the dining room.
I sucked in a breath at her casual mention of the newspaper article. She hadn’t asked if it was true or why I never talked. She’d accepted that whatever reason I had was a good one. She trusted Tanner’s judgment and trust in me. If I had enough people on my side, would things change? Would the Robin Brays of the world leave me alone?
After a few seconds, I shook my head and carried the napkins and silverware to the table—arranging them neatly next to each plate. When the table was set and the candles lit, Deborah called everyone to eat.
“Everything looks amazing, Mom.” Tanner leaned over to kiss her. Then he kissed me and pulled a chair out for me and then Rylan.
Bryan carved the turkey and we passed the plates and bowls of food around the table. Once everyone was served, I picked up my fork.
“We have to say what we’re thankful for,” Rylan said.
Tanner smiled. “Of course. You go first.”
“I’m thankful for Mommy and Daddy. My teachers. Grandma and Grandpa and Miss Sadie. Your turn, Daddy.”
She was thankful for me? I’d only been in her life for a short time, but I’d made an impression—a good one. I exchanged a smile with Tanner. If I thought this morning was perfection, I was wrong—this was, and I knew that every day, every moment I spent with Tanner and Rylan would top the next until the love in my heart was overflowing.
“I’m thankful first and foremost for Rylan, to my parents for moving here and helping us when we needed it, for always being there for us, Rylan’s mother, and for Sadie—you’ve only just come into our lives but I know you’re a big part of our future.” He took my hand under the table and squeezed it.
I wanted to kiss him and tell him I loved him but here in front of Rylan and his parents was not the right time. “Thank you.”
“I
t’s your turn,” Tanner prompted softly, still holding my hand on my thigh.
“I’m so thankful to be here with all of you today. To be included in your holiday as part of your family.” There were no words to express the emotion that threatened to burst out of my chest but I thought Tanner understood because he mouthed I love you, which Rylan couldn’t see sitting on his other side. He squeezed my hand once more before turning back to the table.
“Mom, Dad?”
As I sat and listened to his parents say that they were thankful for each of us sitting at the table and the food before us, a light buzzing started in my head—a feeling of rightness, completeness, of being whole. It was Tanner who’d made this possible. It was Tanner who took a chance on me—who got to know me. He’d made my life better. He made me better and I’d always be thankful for that. I’d pocket this incredible feeling of family and togetherness in case he walked away from me, because I knew I could never walk away from him—not willingly.
Sadie
Thanksgiving weekend was perfect. I spent the entire weekend with Tanner and Rylan. We put up their artificial tree and decorated it. Rylan’s excitement for Christmas was infectious. I helped Tanner hang the Christmas lights on his porch. When Rylan declared the need for more decorations, we headed to the store. We made dinner together, watched movies and played games before Rylan went to bed, and cuddled up on the couch after she was asleep. It was normal. It was comfortable. I never wanted it to end, but as the weekend came to a close, I became more and more nervous about the newspaper article.
In the courthouse on Monday, I was waiting for my client to arrive when an older overweight man in a suit approached. He’d combed a few strands of hair over his bald spot. “Sadie Cole?”
“Yes.” My client was female, so I wasn’t sure who this man was—possibly an attorney I hadn’t met?
“I’m Bob Lafferty, a reporter for the Kent County News.”
Blood rushed to my ears, every muscle in my body strung tight as I looked around for a way to escape.