by Lea Coll
“It’s the tenth anniversary of Dennis Moore’s assault on Annabelle Bray.” His voice was easygoing, but each word seemed calculated to elicit a response.
“I’m not talking to you about this.” My eyes kept searching for my client—anything to distract him.
“Don’t you think it’s time to talk, time for you to tell the truth?”
I finally focused on him, on the sweat beading on his forehead, probably from the walk here from his office. He pulled a toothpick from his shirt pocket and stuck it into his mouth, his eyes narrowed on me.
“I’m working. I have a trial this morning.” I forced a bored expression onto my face and made my muscles relax. I didn’t want him to know he affected me.
“Don’t you think Annabelle Bray’s mother deserves the truth?” It was like he’d rehearsed this interaction before he’d approached me.
I smiled without any humor. “If it was time, I wouldn’t be talking to you.”
As soon as I turned to leave, his fingers dug into my elbow, stopping me as panic clouded my vision. I wanted to yell, but I didn’t want to make a scene. I didn’t want to draw attention to us. I didn’t want a repeat of my confrontation with Robin Bray. Instead, I faced him, my elbow still painfully in his grasp and hissed, “Let go of me.”
“Everything okay here?” Luke’s voice came from behind me and I breathed a sigh of relief.
I didn’t turn to acknowledge him. I didn’t tell him things were not okay. I raised my brow at Bob until he slowly released his grip on me. I took a large step back and rubbed my elbow where his fingers had been. I was sick and shaky with nerves.
Luke moved between us but stayed off to the side, so he wasn’t blocking Bob entirely from my view. I wanted him to. I wanted him to stand in between us so that Bob couldn’t see my fear, my vulnerability. Any time someone mentioned that incident, it was like I was right back to being seventeen. The shame, the vulnerability, the fear—it all came back in sickening waves. I wanted to flee. I wanted to take a deep breath. I wanted to be anywhere but here.
“What’s going on here, Bob? You searching for a story?”
I slowly lowered my arms and straightened so that I appeared more like the professional I was and less like a vulnerable and scared girl.
I peered around Luke and caught Bob smiling at him like they shared a secret.
I took another small step back. I hated to do it, but no one had ever been on my side. What if Luke agreed I should talk? What if he berated me for not talking? I couldn’t do this here, not in front of these people, not when I was supposed to be working.
“You know it’s the tenth anniversary of Dennis Moore’s release and the death of that poor girl—Annabelle Bray. Her mother thinks Sadie Cole is responsible.”
Luke leaned closer to him, lowering his voice so only Bob and I could hear him. “That’s ridiculous and you know it. Stop harassing people in my courthouse, you understand me? You’re here for the cases on the docket and nothing else. You’re not here drumming up stories, harassing innocent people.”
Several things struck me at once—the biggest being that Luke was standing up for me. He’d said I was innocent. The most certain thing I’d ever felt from the police department was that they were annoyed with me. There were rumblings of charging me with interference in a police investigation for failing to talk. Nothing ever happened, but the fear was always there. To have him defend me was confusing but exhilarating at the same time.
“What the fuck, Luke? I thought you wanted the truth,” Bob said.
“I’m the sheriff now. You’ll respect me and my position in this county.” Luke’s demeanor and voice were deadly calm.
Bob’s mouth dropped open slightly and the hair on the back of my neck stood up as I waited for what Bob would do or say next.
“The case is closed. Dennis pled guilty and served his time. You drumming this case up over and over does no one any good. One could say the media’s obsession with this case caused Annabelle Bray’s death.”
Luke blamed the focus and attention on this case on Annabelle’s overdose.
“When did you—?” Bob dropped the toothpick on the floor.
“When did I change my mind? When Robin Bray started walking around town blaming an innocent woman for her daughter’s death.”
I stepped around Luke so I could see him—every muscle in his body flexed and there was a challenge in his eyes. Had Tanner told him about my confrontation with Robin?
“I was having my doubts about things before that happened, but it sealed the deal for me. All you’re doing is stirring shit up again. You’re getting Robin Bray worked up, giving her an unhealthy outlet for her grief—anger at Sadie, who doesn’t deserve her wrath or her unfounded accusations.”
His words kept replaying in my head. Luke thought I was innocent. For the first time, some of the weight that had held down my shoulders over the years lessened. Was staying here without judgment and gossip too much to hope for? My mouth was dry. I couldn’t seem to unstick my lips to thank Luke, to say anything. I was entrenched in the same spot and dumbfounded over his words.
“This is ridiculous. You’re an elected official. You know that, right? If you don’t care about the truth in criminal matters, then maybe you don’t deserve the position,” Bob said.
Luke smiled, his feet planted wide, his shoulders back, and his eyes amused. “My record speaks for itself as does yours. You’re searching for more and more salacious stories to keep the paper afloat. I have my eye on you, Bob. You need to be very careful how you’re approaching witnesses. You’re straddling the line of harassment, which is my jurisdiction.”
I needed to find my client. I needed to walk away, but my feet were planted. I couldn’t seem to draw in a deep breath. It was coming in short and ragged pants, but neither Luke nor Bob paid me any attention.
“Fuck this.” Bob stalked off, leaving me and Luke. Most of the hallway had cleared out since court was in session. A bailiff stood watching outside the nearest courtroom, assessing us.
I licked my lips, trying to think of what to say. “Thank you.” For standing up for me, for believing in me. For rescuing me. I couldn’t say those words, but I hoped I conveyed it with my eyes.
“No problem. Tanner told me what happened last week, and I saw the article in the paper. Some people in this town just like to stir up trouble.”
Is that what it was? These people just liked the drama and starting trouble? Didn’t they realize their actions affected people’s lives? I’d considered moving out of this town because of those few evil bored people who had nothing better to do.
“If that happens again, you call Tanner or me. Okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
“Hey, you going to be okay?” Luke stepped closer.
“Yeah, I’m a little thrown, that’s all. No one from the police department was on my side when it happened.”
“Well, things are going to change around here. We’re not going to operate on speculation and rumors anymore. We’ll go by the evidence and not witness intimidation.”
“That sounds—maybe if that was the climate when all that stuff happened with Dennis, maybe things would have been different.” Maybe I would have felt comfortable in coming forward. Maybe Annabelle wouldn’t have felt so attacked after she did.
“I agree and I think it starts with the attitude of the city, the police department, and the newspaper.”
Would things be truly different now? I could only hope.
“Let Tanner know you’re okay. I’m going to text him in a minute about what happened but I’m sure he’ll want to hear from you.”
Was this support coming from Tanner or had Luke changed his mind about me? “Is Tanner putting you up to this?”
“He asked me to keep an eye on you but not the other stuff. I came to that conclusion on my own.”
Emotion welled in my throat, one I couldn’t describe. “Thanks again. I’d better get back to work before the judge is looking fo
r me.”
Luke nodded.
I felt his eyes on me as I opened the door to the courtroom and walked inside. I sat in the first available pew and wrapped my arms around myself. When would I escape the eternal questions and speculation? If I were going to stay here and be part of Tanner’s life, I’d need to deal with it. Was it better to tell my side of the story? I felt physically ill at the thought of talking to someone other than Tanner about that night. What if no one believed me and the gossip and accusations continued? What if nothing I said ever changed anything?
My hands shook as I checked my phone to see if my client had contacted me to say she’d be delayed. Instead, I saw a text from Tanner: I miss you already.
Despite the yucky feeling I had from talking to Bob, I smiled.
Sadie: I just saw you this morning.
Tanner: It’s killing me to be away from you. Do you teach tonight?
Sadie: Yes.
Tanner: We need to talk about you working two jobs.
Could I afford to cut back on my hours at the studio? Was I willing to do that for Tanner because it cut into my evenings with him and Rylan? Dance had always been my escape, but did I need that with my list of supporters growing and Luke’s promise that things would change? I needed to tell Tanner what had happened before he heard it from Luke, but I couldn’t keep texting with court in session.
Sadie: In court. Can’t talk but Bob from the paper confronted me this am. Luke took care of it. Thank you.
I put my phone away before the judge or the bailiff saw me. Gratitude and hope flowed through me, starting at my shoulders, traveling down through my chest to the pit in my stomach to my legs and finally, my toes. Tanner had my back and now Luke. Samantha did too, when she stepped between Robin Bray and me, and she didn’t even know me.
I had people who supported me—Tanner, my grandparents, Luke, Samantha, Kristen—people who believed in me despite not knowing what happened that night. Tanner had supported me even before I told him the truth. Had people not supported me before, or had I never given anyone a chance to sympathize with my side? Maybe I’d been too closed off.
I requested a postponement since my client never appeared and stepped into the hallway to check my phone.
Tanner: Are you okay?
I wanted to see him. I didn’t want to text or talk on the phone. I wanted the comfort of his arms. I chewed on my lower lip. In order to do that, I’d need to go inside the police department—something I’d avoided since I was questioned ten years ago.
Was I brave enough to face it? Was Luke and Tanner’s support enough? I walked out of the courthouse and down the street until I stood in front of the station. I drew in a shaky breath—I hadn’t been to the station since I was seventeen, when that officer accused me of protecting Dennis.
When an officer I didn’t recognize walked out and held the door open for me with a smile, I braced myself and stepped inside. I didn’t know where Tanner’s desk was—only that he’d said he would be here today instead of out on patrol.
“Can I help you?” a young officer asked.
“I’m looking for Tanner Green.”
“I’ll take you back.”
There was no sneer on his face, no censure in his voice. He either didn’t know or didn’t care about the sexual assault or who I was. My steps grow more confident as I followed him.
“This beautiful lady is here to see you,” he told Tanner, and then he left us alone.
Tanner looked up from his paperwork and stood. “Sadie, are you okay? Luke told me what happened.”
He stepped out from behind his desk and I was wrapped in his arms. In front of anyone who cared to see, since his desk wasn’t hidden behind walls or a cubicle.
“I’m good.” And I was. I had people who supported me and the hope that others no longer cared what happened ten years ago. Things were either changing or I’d never given myself the chance to see the change that had already happened.
He pulled back and examined me from head to toe. “Luke said Bob grabbed you—he had his hands on you.”
“He did, but I’m okay. It was more annoying than anything else. Luke scared him away.”
“You seem surprised.”
“I am. Samantha stepped in last week when Robin confronted me and now, Luke. It’s not the reaction I’m used to.”
“I’m here for you too. You have people on your side.”
“Yeah, I’m getting that.” I’d always assumed that the few people who’d confronted me over the years were representative of how everyone in town felt but maybe I was wrong.
“Good. Do you have time for lunch?”
I nodded. I didn’t have court this afternoon, so I had more time than usual. He grabbed my hand, leading me through the maze of desks, and told the guy at the front desk we were going to lunch. No one seemed to care or think anything of it.
We ate lunch together, but all I could think about was being alone with him. When we’d finished eating, Tanner cleaned up our wrappers and walked with me back to the courthouse. “I talked to my lawyer today. He’s going to file a motion for modification of custody.”
Excitement shot through me. “He thinks there’s been enough of a change in circumstances to warrant that?”
“He thinks it’s borderline, but I don’t want to wait any longer. I told him about my fear of letting Bree drive Rylan anywhere. About how she left Rylan at her parents instead of being with her during visitation. He said the fact that I’m a cop might help.”
“Your cop instincts are telling you to be worried.”
“Exactly.”
A pit of fear crept back into me. How would Bree react? So far, she hadn’t been involved in my life other than dealing with the fallout of her not being around or canceling visitation.
“Things are going to work out. I have a good feeling about it.”
I didn’t want to tell him my worries or concerns because at that moment Tanner was happy. His fingers interlaced with mine. His smile was natural. His shoulders were relaxed. “I hope so.”
He walked inside the courthouse, waving at the bailiffs, rode up the elevator and dropped me off in my office. He didn’t seem concerned that people would see him with me and know we were dating. “See you tonight? After class?”
“Yes.” My face was tilted up to see his as I placed my hand on his cheek. I wanted to memorize every laugh line on his face, the varying colors of his blue eyes, and the feel of his skin under mine. He had my back. He wanted me.
“Tonight, we’re going to have that talk.”
“Okay.” I wasn’t concerned about our impending talk. The fear of not having enough money, of wanting to save to leave this town was easing. The pressure, the stress, the itch to move was lessening, leaving me with this warm contented happiness.
He placed a chaste kiss on my lips. “See you tonight.”
I watched him walk away in his uniform to the front of our office and out the door. My fingers touched my lips. That kiss meant more than any of our others because he’d kissed me at my work, in his uniform. He wasn’t embarrassed to be seen with me. He wasn’t ashamed. He was proud of me.
Tanner
I’d taken the first step in taking back control of my life from Bree. I’d allowed her to miss, change, and cancel scheduled visitations—I was literally at her whim. I hated it. I once thought it would be good for Rylan to have Bree in her life any way she could get her, but not anymore. There was no way instability was good for a six-year-old. Dealing with Bree was like riding a roller coaster—one I desperately wanted to get off.
After lunch with Sadie, I went to my attorney’s office to review the motion and sign the affidavit attesting to Bree’s deviation in the court-ordered visitation schedule and the effect on Rylan. When I first broached the idea with Steve, he’d said to keep detailed notes each time Bree changed her days, didn’t show up, her reasoning, and my impressions of her behavior. I was supposed to note if she appeared drunk, who she was with, and what she was doing i
nstead of taking her daughter.
Now we had months of documentation detailing the turmoil Bree brought to our lives. My attorney hoped that my background and alcohol training would add credence to my affidavit.
After reading through the affidavit and signing, Steve asked, “Has there been any change in your circumstances? Living arrangements, daycare, babysitters—” then he hesitated before he said, “girlfriends?”
Had he heard I’m dating Sadie? “No, to the first few but I do have a girlfriend. Will that be a problem?”
“It depends. Who is it?” Steve’s eyes flicked to mine.
“Sadie Cole.” I immediately saw the flare of recognition in his eyes.
“Sadie Cole, the attorney? The one who worked at Gunner and was fired?”
“Yes.” My answer was terse.
Steve put down his pen and leaned back in his chair. “I heard about what she did at Gunner. How she sabotaged other attorneys’ files hoping for a promotion. Did you know that?”
It never entered my mind that it could be an issue for my custody case. “I did.”
“And you know about the sexual assault case brought years ago against her mother’s boyfriend.”
“I do.” I’d hired him because he was known for being ruthless in court and I was paying him to give me advice, but I didn’t want to hear what he had to say about Sadie even though I probably needed to.
“Yet, you’re still seeing her.”
“I don’t see how that affects my custody case.” I gestured at the paperwork on his desk between us. I felt lightheaded and a little nauseous that this thing I had going with Sadie—which seemed more perfect and right every day—was somehow bad.
“Sadie, in the best-case scenario, withheld information from police, and in the worst, covered up a crime. She lied to her last employer. She sabotaged their files. Being an attorney, she’s lucky she only lost her job, and no one filed an attorney grievance against her. She could have been suspended from the bar.”
I used every tactic I’d learned on the job to keep a level head. “But she wasn’t suspended and she was never charged with obstruction of justice. She was a minor when the assault happened. I agree that what she did at her last job wasn’t good, but she had her reasons and she felt horrible.”