Scarred

by Amy Sparks

  Chapter 6

  Ava

  Something has made me stop walking, stop breathing and to stop moving. When we got out of the car I knew that this dress was too short, and showed a lot of cleavage, but no, my parents not only allowed it, they loved it! When I got out of the car the wind was blowing, which made my dress fly up. I didn’t put any shorts on underneath, which was my fault. Emily just said I looked good, which made me think it was okay that my dress was a little on the short side, but now, I’m regretting letting her help me.

  As soon as I headed into the restaurant and to our seats I know someone was looking at me. And it wasn’t just someone. It was a guy. A very cute one. I look back at the guy who was looking at me. Before, I was thinking he wasn’t that hot, but after actually looking at him, damn.

  I couldn’t even think anymore. Let alone breathe. I feel like he was about to eat but he stopped after seeing me. Am I that hot? I mean I guess in this dress, it can change anyone. Even someone who hasn’t even been with a guy for a year. Has it really been that long? Ugh, I’m so stupid. I’m looking at the guy who’s looking at me, which is making my heart skip a beat. My parents know that I’ve stopped walking, and so I hear my mom calling me.

  “Ava, come.” She says which makes me break and turn back into reality. I shake my head and focus on my mom. Emily just laughs which I groan. What the hell did I just do? I take a deep breath and just walk over to my parents until I noticed that our table is right next to that hot guy’s table. I groan and put my hands in my face. Emily sits next to me and laughs. I put my hands down from my face and give her the I will kill you if you don’t stop.

  “Oh, calm down Ava. You haven’t had a boyfriend ever since the thing. He looked at you! Ava, he looked at you, and come on, isn’t he, like, hot?” She says which I hate that she’s right. He is. He really is! Why couldn’t he be ugly or something. He just had to look hot, sitting down wearing a black dress shirt. The shirt is tight on him, so I can see his abs. Does he have a six-pack? Ugh, I can’t believe I’m thinking about his packs! I shake the thought out of my head which makes my parents look confused. I just smile at them and swear under my breath. I need to do something right now, so I grab my phone out of my bag. Great, my phone will at least distract me from him. Maybe I could guess what his name is. Or his age. Or his likes. No! No, I cannot be thinking of him again. All guys are the same. After what Jayce did to me, I can’t even think of myself surviving a day with a guy anymore. Some lady comes to our table and brings us menus, which makes me happy that I can cover my face with it. I turn off my phone and open the menu bringing it to my face. I’m kind of wondering where my grandparents are, and so I look around the restaurant for them.

  “Hey Em, when are grandpa and grandma coming?” I ask Emily. My eyes are still on the menu.

  “They’re coming right now. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure the guy is still looking at you.” She says which makes my heart stop.

  “Don’t you dare.” I say, shooting a death stare at her behind the menu. Thank God, my parents aren't paying attention. Emily cannot be serious. I put the menu down a little bit from my face, seeing if that guy is still looking at me. But he’s not, he’s eating his pasta. But in the corner of his eyes, I know he’s looking at me. Damn, he even looks hot eating. I groan and put the menu up on my face again. How the hell am I gonna leave if I can’t even look at his face?

  “Ava, I gotta go to the washroom. Come.” She says, which makes me want to have a panic attack. There is no way I am going to go to the washroom with her. I don’t even want to move, or get out of my seat.

  “Are you crazy?! I am not going to go to the washroom with you. You are not a little kid Em, you don’t need me to guide you to the washroom.” I say. She rolls her eyes. Damn she’s gonna make me go with her.

  “Ava, come. Please. I can also do your makeup. Please.” She says with a puppy face. Damn her puppy face. It’s so darn cute, that I just have to go now. I put the menu down, and groan at my sister. I know that guy is looking at me, but I don’t care. I just need to get up, and walk to the bathroom without looking at him, or at his direction.

  “Hey mom, dad. Me and Ava are going to go to the washroom. We will be back okay?” She says getting up from her chair.

  “Ava and I.” I say, correcting her grammar. I’m going to become a high school English teacher, so everyone's grammar has to be on point. Even my sister’s. My sister hates it when I correct her grammar, and so she sticks her tongue at me, and scoffs. I stand up, fixing my dress a little bit, which makes my sister roll her eyes at me. There is no way I’m going to do this, but somehow I am.

  “Ava! Come on!” She says in a whispering shout. Damn it. I take a deep breath, fix my hair then push in my chair and follow my sister to the washroom. I’m trying not to trip and fall, but it’s so hard. My legs are shaking somehow, and these heels feel like they’re getting taller and taller. It’s amazing what the mind does to you when you’re scared of something stupid.

  I walk over to where my sister was and try to see where she is, but I can’t find her. Maybe she’s already gone to the washroom? I look behind to see if she’s sitting down at our table, but she’s not. Then my eyes make my way to that guy’s table, but he’s not there either. Ok, if this is a little game that my sister put with this guy, count be out. If I find her making out with him in the bathroom, I’m gonna be sick. But he is very cute, so I don’t blame her if she does. I don’t have little time and so I’m just gonna try to search the whole restaurant too see if I can find her. And when I do, oh boy she’s gonna feel pain and torture coming from me and my stupid grammar. The only thing in this stupid restaurant is the kitchen and the bathroom’s. I am so not going in the kitchen, but I will go in the washroom. I walk to the girl’s washroom and try to see if Emily is in there. Damn, even the washroom is big!

  “Em? You in here?” I say looking in the stalls to see if she’s in one of them. I checked all of them and she’s not in any of them, which is making me mad. I’ve gotta go back to my table, or else my parents are gonna expect something wrong. And there is something wrong! I can’t find Emily!!! I open the door which makes a big slam. Damn, I’m hungry, but if I don’t find Emily right now, I’m gonna break something. I look back on the bathroom door to see if I actually broke it, which I didn’t, luckily. I take a deep breath and then turn around to find Emily again, but as I turned around, I bumped into a chest. A fit chest, one where if you just bump into, you can feel the twelve pack of abs that person has. I don’t see who it is, which is making me nervous. What if it’s a murderer in the restaurant poisoning our food? Oh God, mom’s right, I should stop watching horror movies.

  “Um, I am so, so sorry.” I say taking a step back to see who it is. My heart stops when I see the face. It’s that guy, that hot guy that was staring at me. He smiles at me while he scratches the back of his head. His eyes light up when he sees me. Oh God, did he do this on purpose or something? I take another step away, and say my prayers in my head. I am so gonna kill Emily, and when I’m done, I’m gonna kill myself so I don’t have to remember on what just happened. He checks me out, which makes me uncomfortable. Ugh, guys are pigs. How did I not see it with Jayce?

  I shake my head and turn away from him. I swear under my breath, and leave. Not even saying goodbye, I just leave. Somehow my manners today are like shit. I guess today’s gonna be a bad day for me. After walking away from that hot guy, I look for Em. Why the hell did I listen to her? I must be a Goddamn idiot.

  “Hey, wait!” I hear, which makes my heart drop. I know it’s a guy’s voice, so it must be that guy. I take a deep breath then turn around. Just my luck, it was him. He somehow doesn’t know what to do with his hands, and so he keeps touching his hair. He must be one of those stupid guys, the kind who really love themselves. I scoff at myself, then shut my mouth hoping he didn’t hear me. I must look like one of those mean girls. The ones who love themselves more, and have a big ass attitude all the time. I’m now thinking o
f the movie ‘Mean Girls’, which makes me laugh. Oh God, I must look like an idiot in front of him. But what do I care? It’s not like guys are not idiots too. This is getting really awkward, and so to clear the air I just start the conversation of what’s gonna be the worst thing in the world. HELL.

  “Yeah?” I say which makes me overthink this. What if he asks for my phone number? What if he does something stupid and says like a sex joke to me? Ugh, this is making me wanna throw up.

  “I uh, I was just wondering if you were looking for your sister?” He says which makes my eyes light up. Oh, dear God yes, I’m looking for her!

  “Yeah, I am. My stupid sister told me she was going to the washroom, which she told me to come. When I got up, she wasn’t there, which you know.” I say motioning around the restaurant. I roll my eyes and groan. I know he feels my pain, on how siblings are. I mean I saw two boys, maybe younger then him sitting next to him. I’m guessing it’s his little brothers, since it cannot be his friends. Who knows.

  “Oh, well I saw her sitting down at your table with your family.” He says which makes me mad. I cannot believe after looking for her around the whole restaurant, this stupid guy comes and tells me she’s sitting at our table. I’m unclenching and clenching my hand which I know he’s looking at it. He licks his lips, which makes my heart skip a beat. Okay, he is really freaking hot. Like really, really hot.

  I turn around to see if my sister is sitting at our table, so I know he’s not lying. I stretch my neck a little bit, and try to see if she’s there. And she is. That little liar is sitting down at our table, and somehow, she looks so innocent, it makes me want to kill her. I swear under my breath and walk away from the guy. I must look crazy, cause I’m not walking. I’m, like, speed walking. I can feel the guy's eyes on my ass, but I don’t give a crap. All I give is how Emily is sitting at our table looking like a little angel! As I arrive at our table, I see my grandparents, but I’m not saying hi yet. I look at my sister’s face, and all she does is smile. I mean I know she’s not mean or something, but right now she’s being evil on my heart. She knows I’m not ready for another guy right now. I mean, since the accident with Jayce, how can I move on to another guy? I stare at my sister, in her eyes and I know she looks scared.

  Mess with me, and you are so gonna die.

  I sit down nicely and smile at my grandparents. My parents though, look at me with confusion. Of course, they would. Emily must’ve told them I was in the washroom or something, but really the only reason I was in the washroom was because I was looking for her! I shake my head and turn to my grandparents and smile, after this, Emily is so dead.

  “Hey grandma, grandpa.” I say in this little child voice. I feel like this guy is still behind me, and so I turn around to check. For some reason, he is. His hands are in his pockets, and he’s staring at me. A full stare with those golden eyes. Huh. Does he have like brain damage or something? Why the hell is he still standing there? With a confused expression, I turn back around and continue to look like a little kid in front of my grandparents. They smile and hold my hands.

  “How are you Ava? How is everything?” Grandpa say which leads to a question to my mind. How have I been? That questions stirs in my mind for about a good minute, which making Emily cough, telling me that I should answer fast, or they’ll think I’m retarded or something. I just laugh and swallow.

  “Oh yes, sorry. I have been very good, thank you for asking, Gramps. I’ve been extremely well.” I say hoping I have my grammar on point. If I’m going to become an English teacher, my grammar has to be on point in everything I say. After answering all their questions, I turn to my sister and give her a death stare. I am so going to kill her.

  “You little…” I say which makes her laugh. Ugh, I don’t even know what’s going through her mind right now. No wonder I got into university, and she only got into college. I mean she wants to become an accountant for goodness sake, so she should at least have a little bit of sense in her brain. I don’t know what the hell she’s gonna do in an office for six hours straight.

  “You little what? Ava, you should at least say thank you.” She says which makes me want to murder her. Why on earth would I say thank you to her??? She made me look like an idiot looking for her back and forth in this stupid restaurant. I just take a big breath and put on a confused face.

  “Why on earth would I say thank you to you Em? I looked for you everywhere! I looked like I lost something! And you also made me look like an idiot in front of that stupid guy. Ugh Em! You need to put some sense in your stupid brain, or else, how on earth are you gonna make it through this crazy life? Huh?” I say which makes her roll her eyes. I am an inch close to choking her in front of our family, and in front of everyone in this stupid restaurant.

  “Ava, cool down. Sheesh. It looks like you’re gonna shit your pants or something. And besides, you should thank me you know.” I roll my eyes and still have this confused face on.

  “Why would I thank you though!?” I say hoping she would tell me. The only thing I want to do is choke her, not thank her. Yeah, I know, I must sound mean, but seriously, if you were me right now, the last thing you want to do is thank her. She sighs and points to that guy who’s still standing there. Ugh, why on earth does he have to look so perfect? He hasn’t stopped staring at me since I sat down. Is he some freak or something?

  “Ava, he likes you. I mean can’t you see it in his eyes? He’s been staring at you ever since we came here. And he’s still staring at you. I had to trick you to get out of your chair and come with me to the bathroom. Well, by yourself… Anyway, that’s why I tricked you. I knew he was gonna get up and see you. And he did. Aren’t I smart?” She says, which makes my mouth open wide.

  All of this, was all a trick! Huh, I have never been tricked, and I’m not mad. Just confused. Why he would like me? I mean, Jayce liked me, and lots of other guys did too. But I’m different now. Lots of guys liked the old me, why would this guy like the new me? I mean, before, I had streaks of dark blue in my blond hair. Now it’s just plain blond, with light blond streaks. Before, I had a piercing in my nose, now I took it out. The piercing in my nose is closed, so I can’t really put it back in. I somehow miss it, having that ring or stud in my ear. How Jayce would say how hot I looked with it, makes my heart ache.

  I guess I’m kind of happy I turned over a new leaf though. If I hadn’t, you would’ve seen me in this restaurant, wearing black tights and a shirt that would show my belly button, with dark blue streaks in my golden hair, also with a stud in my nose and a tattoo on my right wrist. And yes, I was about to get a tattoo, until the whole incident happened. Also, I don’t think mom and dad would’ve allowed me to get one. They didn’t even let me get the piercing, but I ignored them and did it anyways. I shake my head, making the thoughts of myself shake out of my head. I return to Emily, and it seems that she’s still talking to me. Huh, I somehow tuned her out. Ha, I’m so awesome.

  “Ava, did you hear me?” She says which makes me wonder what she said. Damn, what if it was important, or stupid filled with some details of that guy still staring at me.

  “I, uh, um. No?” I say which makes Em roll her eyes. She sighs. I know she must think I’m dumb. I wonder if we ordered yet, cause I’m freaking hungry. After searching for Em, a girl like me should me hungry.

  “Ava, you need to talk to him. He likes you! I mean come on Ava, be a good girl. If you talk to him, just for one proper conversation, without you fixing his grammar. Please.” She says in those doggy eyes. Ugh, why?!

  “I don’t fix everyone's grammar, Em.” I say which makes her scoff.

  “Um yeah, you do. A lot. And it gets really annoying okay? Now go. Go and just talk to that poor boy because you kind of look like a mean bitch.” She says which makes my heart sink. I am not a….well, you know. I cannot believe that’s what she thinks I am to him! I mean, sure, I am no cupcake, or something sweet, but I am nice sometimes. Just not always…

  I look at Em in the eyes, hoping th
at this is just another little trick, but it’s not. I know when Em lies, and it’s not right now. I groan, and get up from my seat and mouth at my parents that I need to go to the washroom. They nod, and as soon as they do I push my seat in and walk away from them. Crap, I can’t believe I’m doing this. The guy is not standing anymore, he's sitting down. On his phone, tapping his foot up and down.

  Huh, he is cute. Ugh, whatever, let’s just get this over with. I am so damn hungry. I take a deep breath and turn my head to look at my sister. She smiles, and gives me a thumbs up, while motioning me to that guy. I stick out my tongue and shake my head. I can do this, I can do this.

  Ugh I can’t do this!

  Ugh come on Ava, you can do this. It’s just a guy. He is just a guy. Just a guy, who happens to have a tiny crush on you. Ugh. I just suck it in, and walk over to the guy hoping he doesn’t look up, but he does. Damn it, my heels are so loud. He looks up and smiles. He stands up which makes me feel tiny now. He’s tall, but not too tall for me. I’m not short, or tall tall, but just tall enough for a guy. He puts his phone into his pocket, and puts his hands through his hair. Ok, I can do this. Just say hi, and leave. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

  Oh, come on! Brain don’t fail on me now. I turn to look at Emily again, and she motions for me to talk to him. Great, very useful. I sigh and look back at him. He’s closer somehow, which is making me nuts. I smile and he smiles back. Huh, I guess he’s not that scary? Oh whatever, just saying something and don’t be stupid. After constantly arguing with my brain back and forth he says something.