Beautifully Torn

by Charity Parkerson

  “I’d be living here? What would I have to do, for real? No one offers something like this for nothing.”

  Rocky got it. He had felt the same when Zayn had made the same offer to him all those years ago. At the time, Rocky would have done anything. If Zayn had been taking him in to be his personal dick sucker, Rocky would have signed on the dotted line. He had been looking at years in prison if Zayn filed charges against him for auto theft. It was better to be a free and paid whore than an incarcerated one.

  “It’s as I said. You’d be a guard. The owner here offered me the same deal when I was a few years older than you and I stole his car.”

  Cooper looked his way. “No way you stole anyone’s car.”

  A chuckle burst from Rocky at Cooper’s surprise. “I definitely did, and it was the only time I got caught. It was the dumbest luck ever that I got busted by Zayn. That dumb luck has passed to you. I’m hoping you’re as smart as I was and take the deal. It’s easy work, unless you have to tackle a trespasser. Otherwise, it’s pretty boring, but you’d have an amazing life.”

  Cooper looked around. Rocky could tell he was trying not look excited, but Rocky felt the hope rolling off him. “Does this place get a lot of trespassers?”

  Rocky nodded. “Mostly press, trying to get a picture of Zayn and Spencer.” Rocky led Cooper through a service entrance so he wouldn’t immediately spot Zayn’s overabundance of wealth.

  Cooper eyed everything as they passed. “Who are Zayn and Spencer?”

  “The owners.”

  Cooper shoved his hands in his pockets, as if afraid to touch anything. “Why does everyone want their pictures?”

  Rocky led Cooper into the closest furnished bedroom. If Cooper planned to run the moment Rocky left him alone, he didn’t want the guy running past a hundred things to steal on the way out. “I’ll tell you all about them when you start work in the morning. For now, you can have this room. Hang out here for a few minutes, and I’ll grab you some bed linens and whatnot.”

  Cooper nodded. He still looked distrustful, but the attitude was gone. Rocky prayed he wasn’t making the biggest mistake of his life. He needed help.

  It was just like Rocky to take in a homeless kid. Jinx would do anything he could to help. Still, he was a bit nervous as he helped Rocky carry everything Cooper would need to start a new life. Jinx had landed two sexy men by sheer luck because people rarely liked him. It was totally Jinx’s fault. Jinx was an introvert. He didn’t make friends easily.

  That was why he followed Rocky into the room, staying hidden behind Rocky’s huge body. “Hey, you’re still here.”

  Rocky sounded way too surprised for Jinx’s comfort.

  “Yeah, well. I need a job and I have to start somewhere.”

  Jinx peeked around Rocky’s large frame. Cooper was about the same size as Jinx and had beautiful light green eyes. “Hey, Cooper.”

  Cooper looked ready to bolt until Rocky stepped aside. Then Cooper’s gaze dropped to Jinx’s toes, and he eyed Jinx in a very un-hostile way. “Hey.”

  “This is my man, Jinx,” Rocky said, introducing him. “He’s about your size and has some clothes you can have.”

  Cooper looked between them several times. “Your man. Like dating?”

  Jinx found himself taking a half a step behind Rocky to block Cooper. Sometimes, the most violent hate could come from the most unexpected places.

  Rocky didn’t seem bothered. “Yeah, like dating. Be nice.”

  Cooper looked between them again several times. He visibly swallowed. “My mom put me out two years ago for being gay. I guess it’s a lot easier for someone as big as you.”

  Jinx pressed his hand to his chest. This kid’s mom had put him out into the cold. What kind of person did that? Jinx tried not to show his anger.

  “You’ll be happy here. No one will judge you.”

  Cooper smiled.

  “Holy shit. He can smile,” Rocky said with a laugh.

  Cooper ignored him. “Do you live here too, Jinx?”

  Jinx nodded. “For now.” Jinx could feel Rocky staring a hole into the side of Jinx’s face. It was hard to keep from looking Rocky’s way. “There are a lot of good people living here. You don’t have to worry. We’ll let you take a shower or whatever. When you’re clean, there’s a staff kitchen down the hall on the right. The fridge is fully stocked. Maybe tomorrow, after your first day on the job, I could take you shopping for clothes or whatever.”

  Cooper shifted from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable. “I don’t have any money.”

  Jinx shrugged. “That’s fine. I can spot you for a new wardrobe.”

  For a moment, Cooper didn’t respond. When he did, he sounded tired. “So when does the other shoe drop?”

  In truth, Jinx didn’t know how to answer that. He imagined this sudden change in circumstances felt like a trick to someone like Cooper. Jinx took a breath and answered in a different way. “My mom died almost two years ago. Even though I had my own place and didn’t need the help financially, Zayn took me in because I needed the help emotionally. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are good people left in the world. You just found them.”

  “You still have to work,” Rocky said, obviously intent on being a hard-ass.

  Cooper nodded. “I will. This still doesn’t feel real, but yeah. I’ll do whatever.”

  Jinx took Rocky’s hand. Cooper looked ready to drop. They needed to let him sleep. “We’ll let you settle in. You’re safe here. We’ll see each other tomorrow.”

  Rocky let Jinx pull him from the room, but he kept looking over his shoulder. “I’ll come by at nine tomorrow morning to get you set up at work, okay?”

  “Okay.” Cooper followed them to the door and closed it behind them.

  Jinx heard the lock turn. No doubt the poor kid thought he would be molested or dragged into the street. It wouldn’t happen. Jinx invaded Rocky’s space. “Softy.”

  Rocky looked away, but Jinx saw the way his cheeks turned pink. “Yeah, well.”

  Jinx laughed as he pressed his lips to Rocky’s chest. “You’re such a teddy bear. I love you.”

  Rocky snatched Jinx from his feet and tossed him over his shoulder, tearing a loud squeal from Jinx. Jinx covered his mouth, trying to stifle his laughter. Rocky swatted his ass. “Teddy bear. I’ll show you a bear. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that I still owe you for earlier.” Rocky stormed toward his bedroom. Jinx caught a glimpse of Cooper peeking out his door at them while Jinx tried pushing his way off Rocky’s shoulder without luck. Giving up, Jinx relaxed into his fate. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to get punished. He couldn’t think about anything else. It would be a long night. Jinx couldn’t wait.

  Seven

  Between getting Cooper settled and Jinx acting suspicious, the days flew. Wednesday came before Rocky knew it. Then the day screeched to a halt. By the time Rocky headed to Hudson’s—alone because Jinx weirdly wasn’t home—Rocky was ready to crawl out of his skin if it got him to Hudson faster. When the black and gold gate to Hudson’s property came into view, a smile exploded across Rocky’s face. He had to stop himself from bouncing in his seat.

  After punching in the code, the gate opened, and an unexpected laugh burst from Rocky—like his body couldn’t contain his happiness any longer. It had been way too long since Rocky had seen Hudson’s gorgeous face in person. Video calls weren’t enough. He wanted that warmth he felt when Hudson was in his arms. Rocky needed the scent of Hudson’s expensive cologne washing over him. He swore he could already smell Hudson.

  Rocky followed the pebble driveway to the front of the house. Rocky parked inside the circle and jumped from his truck. As he jogged up the brick and concrete front steps, the front door opened. Rocky froze. His breath caught at the first sight of Hudson. Until Rocky set eyes on Hudson, he hadn’t realized how much he had missed the guy.

  Hudson danced in place in his excitement. “You’re here.”

  Rocky ran the last few feet. His mouth covered H
udson’s before he managed a word. He fought the urge to shout at the top of his lungs in his happiness. Rocky couldn’t stop running his hands over Hudson’s body, as if his mind needed proof Hudson was really there. Hudson tried climbing Rocky like a tree until Rocky grabbed two handfuls of ass and lifted Hudson off his feet. Hudson held on while their kiss went from wild to sweet.

  Rocky spoke between kisses. “I’m sorry Jinx isn’t with me. He’ll be here later.”

  Hudson dropped his feet to the floor but didn’t back away. He buried his face in the crook of Rocky’s neck and held on. “I know. He’s with Tito. They’ll be here any minute.”

  Confusion had Rocky taking a step back. “Why is Jinx with Tito?”

  Hudson twisted his fingers. His gaze moved from side to side, obviously searching for any place to look other than meeting Rocky’s stare. “Um... come see what I had done to the bedroom while I was gone.” Hudson walked away.

  Rocky followed since Hudson left him no other choice. “What’s going on?” He knew something was up. Rocky felt it in his gut.

  A loud and fake-sounding laugh trailed down the hall as Hudson quickly marched ahead of him. “Nothing is going on. Well, that’s not true. I’m showing you my new bedroom. You have to see it since we’ll be sleeping in it soon.” He raced around the corner, picking up speed and forcing Rocky to practically jog to keep up. He spoke a mile a minute as he went. “I guess I should wait until Jinx gets here because I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but he’ll be here soon enough.” He led Rocky into his bedroom. “Look. It’s a bed big enough for three.”

  Rocky tore his gaze away from Hudson to stare at the bed. It was big enough for a family of eight, which might have been impressive if Rocky wasn’t so damn disturbed by Hudson’s behavior. “That’s massive. We might lose each other in the middle of the night.”

  Hudson went back to twisting his fingers. “I hadn’t thought of that. My thought was of comfort. As much as I know we all love cuddling, realistically, we’ll have nights when sleep matters when it comes to sleeping in the same bed forever.” Hudson’s body jerked slightly, as if startled himself. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to say that.”

  Rocky made a dismissive gesture. Hudson was acting off and Rocky needed to know why. “You may as well tell me what’s going on. I’m not an idiot. There’s obviously something you’re keeping from me.”

  Hudson’s shoulders fell. “Okay, but just hear me out, okay?”

  “Okay.” Even Rocky heard the skepticism in his voice. Thankfully, it didn’t stop Hudson’s confession.

  “Tito is with Jinx because they’ve been moving Jinx’s things out of storage and into some empty rooms around the house all day. They’re grabbing the last load of Jinx’s things from Zayn’s now.”

  Rocky’s heart dropped while his temper hit the ceiling. “What? You two planned for Jinx to move here behind my back?”

  Hudson made a calming gesture. “You said you’d hear me out, so listen. He’s moving in as a lure to get you here too. I want you both under my roof and in my bed every night. You said you don’t want to get married, so live with us instead. Let’s be together full time. I want us to be fully committed and under one another’s feet. I love you. Let’s make this permanent.”

  A hollow pit opened in Rocky’s gut. Jinx had left him to come here, and he didn’t understand why no one had talked to him first. “Why didn’t you say something? If you had talked to me, we could’ve saved Jinx a move. I can’t leave Zayn. We could live together at his place, sleeping together every night like we did before you left on tour. My job is with Zayn. I have to be there under his roof.”

  Hudson’s forehead screwed up in confusion or pain. Rocky couldn’t decide which. “Rocky, you don’t need to work. I want to take care of you. I’m not giving up my house and everything I’ve worked for to go live with a friend like a leech.”

  A door slammed inside Rocky’s heart. He swore he heard the echo of his emotions closing inside his head. “A leech? Is that what you think I am?”

  Hudson started pacing, making Rocky nervous. He looked a bit off. His erratic behavior seemed to be about more than just the current topic. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. Why didn’t I wait for Jinx?” Hudson ran a hand through his Mohawk, making it look a spiky mess. “I’m such an idiot. I knew I couldn’t do this alone. Jinx is the one you want. He’s the one you’ll listen to. There’s no reason for you to choose me over Zayn. Goddamn it. I knew I would fuck this up.”

  The longer Rocky watched Hudson come unglued, the more obvious it became that something wasn’t right. He had only seen Hudson this out of touch one time—the night he had tried leaping from the balcony. Rocky tried calming him. “You’re not an idiot. Let’s just talk it out. We can make a plan.”

  Hudson shook his head and kept pacing. “No. There’s nothing to say. I get it. Obviously, I’m no prize. I have nothing to offer. You’re in this for Jinx and I took him away.”

  “That’s not true.”

  It was like Hudson couldn’t hear him—as if he had gone away. A pocketknife appeared in Hudson's hand. He flipped it open and closed while he paced, looking more despondent by the second. “Jinx won’t stay once he knows you won’t live with me too. I just wanted the three of us to be together. The last six months have been hell. I thought we could finally find some normalcy. People think I’m nuts for being in this relationship. Maybe they’re right. It’s obvious I’m the unwanted one.”

  Rocky didn’t think Hudson even knew Rocky was there anymore. It was like he had spiraled into some state of mania. He didn’t know what to do. Rocky felt helpless. “Just give me some time to figure things out, okay? I’m in charge of Zayn’s security team. There’s a lot of responsibility at Zayn’s that requires a full-time on-site person. If I’m not there, I need to find someone to replace me. That’s difficult.”

  Hudson shook his head. His feet never stopped moving. The knife never stopped clicking. “Don’t patronize me. I know I’m fucked up in the head and you just want it to stop. You think I’m crazy and just want to get away. I get it. Just go. Take Jinx and leave. I know that’s what you really want anyhow. I’m just in the way. At least fucking marry him, though. If you plan to take everything from me, at least do that. Maybe it’s best if I get out of the way. Losing both of you is like a nightmare. I don’t know why I can’t wake up. This is what I get for letting myself hope. I wanted too much, and life is reminding me I’m not allowed to be happy. People like me never find one person to love them, much less two.” In his downward spiral, Hudson pressed the tip of the knife against his palm and spun. Rocky’s heart stopped before racing into his throat as he watched a bead of blood pool around the knifepoint. He honestly didn’t think Hudson even knew he was bleeding. That was how far he was gone. Rocky couldn’t take it. He needed to make this stop.

  “Stop it, Hudson. I love you. I want to be with you. Give me time to make it happen. I’m not like Jinx. It’s not possible for me to drop everything and move, but I want to be with you.”

  Hudson stopped pacing, but the madness didn’t leave his eyes. “It’s okay, Rocky. I know you don’t really love me. It’s not possible for anyone to love the real me.”

  The devastation in Hudson’s expression nearly took out Rocky’s knees. He didn’t understand what was happening with Hudson, but he knew he had to try to save him. Without thinking things through, Rocky dropped to one knee. “Marry me. If that’s what it takes to make you understand I love you every bit as much as I love Jinx, then this is what I’ll do. I would gladly be your husband if you’ll stop and see how much I love you and want to be here.”

  “Oh.”

  Rocky’s head whipped around at the sound of surprise coming from the open doorway.

  Jinx stood there, looking between them and taking in the scene. It didn’t take long for Jinx to correctly surmise the situation. He looked devastated as he motioned between them. “I see.” He visibly swallowed. “I guess I’ll get out of the way, then.�
�

  Rocky jumped to his feet. “No. That’s not...” He rubbed his forehead. There was no way to explain without admitting he was trying to save Hudson from melting down. That might drive Hudson completely over the edge. He was in the worst position he had ever been in, and that said a lot. He had no fucking clue what had happened to his life in the last fifteen minutes. “I just...” Rocky made a helpless gesture.

  Jinx nodded. “I see.”

  “You don’t.” Rocky knew he didn’t because he looked leveled and done.

  Jinx nodded again. It was a jerky motion. He walked away. Rocky and Hudson chased after him.

  Hudson called out, trying to stop him. “Where are you going, baby? I just got home.”

  Jinx didn’t slow or look their way. “You’re right. You should get to relax and enjoy your marriage proposal.” Jinx snatched up his keys from the tray by the door. He didn’t even slow to put on his shoes before he was out the door. Tito quickly stepped aside to keep from getting run over. He looked stoic with a box still in his arms. Hudson followed Jinx out, begging for Jinx to stay and talk about this.