What They Never Said

by Avery, Quinn

  “Chuck the Bartender’s cousin must have pretty low standards,” she decided. “I think this is worse than that hole in the wall we stayed in the night of our senior trip.”

  Though he laughed, because she was absolutely right, he wished she hadn’t mentioned that trip. It was one of the best days of his life, and one of the final memories they’d shared that didn’t end with her in tears.

  The boiling hot day at the amusement park ended with an intense thunderstorm, so her skin faintly tasted of sweat and rain. As the clouds rumbled outside the bus windows, bringing occasional flashes of lightning that illuminated Cameron’s beautiful features, they sat in the very back row, taking things as far as she’d allow with their classmates a stone’s throw away.

  She hadn’t been herself since prom, so he was grateful when she kissed him back. On a normal day, they were insatiable. He could never get enough of her, and she seemed to struggle just as much to keep her hands to herself. Then prom happened.

  “Do you think we’ll have kids together?” she asked as he trailed kisses down her neck.

  He froze with her question, all at once sick to his stomach. He didn’t see a future that could exist without her at his side. At the same time, it wasn’t fair of him to want to start a family with her either. He had been standing at a crossroad for months, wondering how it could end without destroying both their hearts.

  “Don’t freak out because I brought up kids, Lincoln Farrington,” she scolded, grabbing his jaw in her hands. With a playful roll of her eyes, she smiled. “I didn’t mean right away. I don’t want to have them until we’re old…like thirty. It’s just seeing all those little kids today made me wonder what ours would look like. I hope they have your big brown eyes.”

  Just then the interior lights flickered on, saving him from saying anything more on the subject. Cameron tucked her head under his shoulder, wincing with the sudden brightness.

  “The storm doesn’t seem to be letting up any time soon, so we’re pulling over to spend the night in a hotel,” their athletic director announced, looking nonplussed when everyone hollered in excitement.

  Cameron shared a room with Ellee Hart. Two hours after check-in, when Lincoln asked Ellee to give them privacy, Ellee didn’t bat an eye. He spent the hour they were given showing Cameron how much she meant to him.

  When Cameron showered afterwards, she found a cockroach in the bathtub. Her screams woke their classmates and the athletic director.

  The following Monday, their principal threatened to hold them both back from participating in the upcoming graduation ceremony. But it was ultimately decided since they were both eighteen, there wasn’t much the school could do since it was a spur of the moment overnight visit that didn’t require their parents’ written consent. Lincoln would’ve been okay with missing the ceremony. Everything had gone to shit by then anyway.

  Cameron slipped underneath the thin comforter on one of the double beds, fully dressed. Back turned to him, she whispered, “Goodnight, Linc.”

  Her soft snores filled the room before he’d turned out the lights. He laid awake for hours, wondering how he was going to leave her a second time.

  * * *

  With the soft click of a door closing, Lincoln was ripped from dreams involving Cameron’s silky hair wrapped around his hand. Eyelids flipping open, he found her fully dressed in the doorway, comically baring her teeth. She held a pastry bag in one hand, and a tray with two paper cups in the other. Despite sleeping in her clothes, nothing looked wrinkled, and her hair hung damp in a loose ponytail. How the hell had he slept through her taking a shower? If he ever slept that hard on a mission, he’d be as good as dead.

  Without makeup, Cameron resembled the teenage girl he’d loved. Accompanied by the shy smile she threw him, she was breathtaking. “Sorry. I was trying my hardest not to wake you.”

  “What time is it?” he asked, sitting up and stretching an arm to the ceiling. Cameron’s eyes widened on his bare chest when the hotel sheet fell to his waist.

  Clearing her throat, she looked away. “It’s almost nine. I took an Uber back to The Grind to get my car and grab some breakfast. I hope you still like banana bread with chocolate chips.”

  He eyed the familiar bakery logo on the white paper bag. “You ran all the way to Kelly’s Cakes?” With memories of how much he loved that place, his stomach grumbled. “Isn’t that a good half hour away? Why didn’t you just grab something from that coffee joint?”

  She scurried over to the nightstand beside his bed, setting the bag and a cup of coffee down before backing away. “I couldn’t sleep, so I figured I’d bring you one of your old favorites.”

  “Thanks,” he muttered, hoping the lack of enthusiasm didn’t make him sound ungrateful. It felt pathetic as hell that no one had done anything that thoughtful for him as far back as he could remember, so he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

  Pink spread over her cheeks when she met his gaze. “Your bag was super heavy, so I’ll let you deal with it.”

  He chuckled under his breath, but decided against giving her a hard time. It was almost literally twice her weight. “I’ll grab it and take a quick shower before we head out. Hopefully this place is cockroach-free.”

  Cameron spun around when he stood, but not before he caught the spark of interest in her eyes with the sight of his boxer briefs. Trying not to laugh, he collected his shorts from the grimy carpet, and slipped them back on before heading out.

  “Keys,” Cameron called, tossing them through the air.

  He caught them in his fist before slipping outside, grateful for the rush of cold morning air that pebbled his nipples. He would’ve jumped into a frigid lake if there’d been one nearby. Anything to lessen the overwhelming pull he felt toward her.

  She’d mentioned the previous day that her key fob wasn’t working, so he opened the passenger’s door, and reached for the release button inside the glove compartment like she had done. He bumped a pile of napkins, sending them tumbling to the floor. When he bent to retrieve them, his fingers brushed over something small and metal. He stared down on the object with disbelief.

  An engagement ring?

  Anger coated his veins, burning through his extremities. The diamond was as big as his knuckle, worth at least 50k. That was without taking into consideration the small diamonds on the silver band. No wonder she’d been so reluctant to stay over with him, and had acted so distant. She'd found someone else.

  Hot bile ripped through his throat. He had no way of knowing if the rage vibrating through him was directed at Cameron for hiding the ring, or at himself for letting her go.

  He was tempted to grab his things from the trunk and split before he was given any more reminders of what could’ve been. A strong, noble man would walk away before becoming too lost in those sparkling blue eyes. A better man would admit defeat, and let her live out her happily ever after in peace.

  But Lincoln wasn’t ready to give up on any Hail Mary chances he may’ve had to win her back.

  5

  Lincoln’s sudden change of personality left Cameron feeling anxious. She swore he came out of the shower a different man—one that reminded her all too much of the boy who bought her little presents, and took her on day trips. He was full of gorgeous smiles and witty banter the entire ride to San Francisco. Although he had her rolling with laughter, she was cautious, and tried not to get emotionally involved.

  Stomach ready to purge every last bite of banana bread, she parked outside the historic high-rise building overlooking the bay. If Lincoln asked to come upstairs, what excuse could she give that wouldn’t sound paranoid?

  “Nice digs,” he commented.

  She nodded. There’d been a three-year waiting list for the luxurious apartments, and Kellen had them bumped to the top in less than a month. She suspected his father had something to do with their willingness to accommodate them on such short notice.

  She glanced Lincoln’s way. “Hope you don’t mind waiting here. I
just have to grab a change of clothes and more comfortable shoes.”

  He responded with a sarcastic chuckle. “Only if you promise to crack the window so I can stick my nose out.”

  Looking over her shoulder to the quiet street, her cheeks warmed. “I haven’t been home much this week.” Liar. “I’d die of embarrassment if you saw what a pig I’ve turned into.” If that had been true, Kellen would’ve pitched a fit.

  “Just giving you a hard time, Quinn. Your little secret’s safe with me.”

  He threw her a wicked smirk, almost like he knew she was hiding something bigger than a messy apartment. She shook the uneasy feeling and headed out, barely acknowledging their doorman on her way to the elevator. As she rode up to the seventh floor, her stomach dropped to her feet. She was so eager to spend time with Lincoln that she hand’t thought things through. What if one of their neighbors were to notice Lincoln waiting in her car? What if by some freak chance they ran into a friend or one of her coworkers while they were out and about in the city?

  Upon entering their pristine apartment, too perfect to appear lived-in despite having moved in four months ago, Kellen’s presence surrounded her like he was right there at her side, and not on the other side of the country. Everything within sight from the streamline furniture to the dark gray walls and black drapes was all Kellen’s doing.

  The only personal touch she’d made was the framed picture on her side of the bed. The picture of her dad, taken when he was in his prime, was her favorite. With a charming smile, the build of a runner, and thick strawberry-blond hair, he was Hollywood handsome. In the picture he stood behind the wheel of a sailboat, chest puffed out and a wide grin stretched across his sun-kissed face. It was the happiest she’d ever seen him, probably because he was most at home on a boat. He’d been captain of his college sailing team. When she was little, he’d dreamed of getting his own boat. He once promised her that they’d go sailing around the world together when she was older.

  Like every other day, she touched her fingertips to the platinum frame as she passed, wishing she had one more chance to hug him, and tell him how much she loved him.

  After applying a light dusting of eyeliner and mascara, she fixed her wild hair before throwing on a pair of skinny jeans and a sleeveless tunic along with the old pair of Chucks that Lincoln gifted her on her 17th birthday. She was transported back in time as she slipped into the worn shoes, reminding her of all the times they spent on the pier.

  As she made her way out of the walk-in closet, she averted her gaze away from the bed, disgusted by the memories of Kellen sitting there, waiting. She’d only let him touch her when she was drunk out of her mind. Even then, it had been months. She doubted he cared since he was always messing around with other women.

  She was lonely. And she wanted Lincoln. If she put too much thought into what that meant and the consequences that could follow, she’d cancel the day’s adventures. But she was greedy enough to still want the fearless SEAL waiting outside.

  * * *

  Entering the Musée Mécanique on Fisherman’s Wharf was like taking a step back in time, and not because of the antique penny arcade games. Lincoln had taken her there countless times. She knew the place would set off a feeling of déjà vu, but it was primarily filled with tourists and teenagers who wouldn’t recognize her. Besides, they had visited it more when they were still just friends, so the memories weren’t quite as hard to take.

  At least that’s what she believed until Lincoln grinned and made a beeline for the creepy executioner game he’d been obsessed with since he was little. Without warning, one of the best memories she’d struggled to repress seeped its way back to the front of her mind with blinding clarity.

  One day soon before their sophomore year was to begin, they decided it was too hot to sit in the sand, and took a trip into the city. After he’d turned 16, Lincoln was given his mom’s old car, and drove Cameron everywhere. By then she had the biggest crush on her best friend, but she was afraid that if she acted on her emotions, she’d only end up losing the person she cared about most whether because he didn’t feel the same way, or because they’d eventually break up and move on.

  When he started in the direction of the museum from the parking lot, she hooked her arm through his to pull him back. “I don’t want to see that stupid executioner thing again,” she whined. “Last time it gave me nightmares. Let’s see if Will’s around to sneak us on one of the boat tours.”

  Lincoln turned to her with raised eyebrows, flashing the kind of teasing smirk that made it especially hard not to give in to her attraction to him. “You can watch movies where they hack zombie heads off with a machete, but you can’t deal with wooden puppets from a century ago?”

  “Something about those wooden puppets gives me the creeps,” she explained, rolling her eyes.

  His eyebrows wiggled. “Come with me and I’ll buy you one of those pretzels you like.”

  “You think you can bribe me with food?” She was unable to stop her own lips from curling with a smirk when she set her hands on her hips. “Linc, what kind of girl do you think I am?”

  When he gently wrapped his fingers around her arms, his dark brown eyes became uncharacteristically serious. His palms were sweaty, and filled with hesitation. Face deeply tanned from their trips to the beach, teeth bright white with a slow smile, he was the most beautiful boy she had ever known.

  “You’re my girl,” he declared.

  The possessive words were as shocking as the tender sweep of his lips that followed. It wasn’t the kind of kiss that involved surging tongues or grinding bodies, but it moved mountains all the same. His lips were so gentle and sweet that it meant more than she could’ve put into words. She was already overheated from the hot sun, but it suddenly felt as if she was on fire with the touch of his soft mouth. She wrapped her hands around his waist, hoping she wouldn’t float away, but her heart was already as light as air. Deep down, she rejoiced as loudly as the sea lions sunning themselves on the docks. She had already fallen madly in love with Lincoln Farrington, and he was kissing her.

  He stopped suddenly, backing away with a crooked little smile. “Was that okay?”

  “Yeah,” she said, bobbing her head in rapid little nods as she smiled. She lowered her hands down to meet his. Their fingers interlocked. “I’ve secretly been wishing for a long time that you’d do that.”

  “Why secretly?” The golden specks in his eyes danced in the bright sunlight as he waited for her answer.

  She wished she could take a picture so she’d never forget the way he looked at her, like her approval meant everything. She could already sense that he loved her the way she loved him.

  Running her tongue over her lips, she shrugged. “Because sometimes the truth ruins everything.”

  “Not this time.” He squeezed her hands and let out a nervous little laugh. “I’ve been wanting to do that since last year when we first met.”

  Remembering the elated emotions that came with that first kiss, she winced. If the day was going to do nothing more than unleash painful memories, she’d be ready to part ways with him before noon.

  “Quinn?”

  She looked up to see an older version of that boy headed for her, a deeply set scowl screwing up his handsome face. “Where’d you go? I thought you were right behind me.”

  “Did you get to see your little executioner thingy?”

  His scowl morphed into a goofy grin. It was amusing to see a big tough guy get so excited about an ancient children’s game. “Hell yeah.” His gaze skipped down to her shoes and his mouth flattened into a somber line. “Are those the ones I gave you?” he asked, his voice uncharacteristically low.

  “Yeah,” she whispered.

  “I can’t believe you still have them.” Big brown eyes drew up to meet hers, warming her down to her toes. A slow smile built against his lips, and her stomach fluttered. How could she resist his charm? Worse yet, how would she let him go once she had a taste of the gorgeous man he�
��d become? The answer seemed clear. She couldn’t go down that path with him again.

  With a dull pain flickering in her chest, she cleared her throat. “Let’s get outta here. The sound of Laffing Sal still gives me the creeps.” With a disheartened smile, she crossed her arms over her stomach, and spun around for the entrance.

  Lincoln’s sandals slapped against the pavement behind her until he caught up. His fingers dusted over her lower back, sending a shiver down her spine.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked. “If you want, we could check to see if there are any bay tours available this afternoon before we grab a bite.”

  Why was he so determined to do the same things they did together as teenagers? Pulling in a deep breath, she turned to him and forced a smile. “I live here now, Linc. I can do whatever I want any day of the week. What do you want to do? You’re the one leaving in the morning. We should do something we couldn’t as kids. My friend Pamela said the tours that run up to Napa Valley are a lot of fun. I’ve never been on one myself.”

  “Not really a wine kind of guy,” he said with a quiet grunt. “Any good breweries in the area worth a visit?”

  Nodding, she inwardly sighed with a great sense of relief. She was up for anything that wouldn’t trigger more reminiscing.

  * * *

  After grabbing burgers from a greasy joint on the pier, they relaxed around each other the next several hours while touring a handful of breweries with a group. It was the most carefree she’d felt in ages. On the other hand, it was painful to witness what a good man Lincoln had become. He was considerate and willing to step up for any reason, offering his arm to an elderly woman who seemed wary to ascend a steep stairway, and grabbing a drunk fraternity guy by the back of his shirt before he face-planted in the parking lot. He was polite, calling everyone ma’am and sir, even offering to grab a bottle of water for the bus driver at one of the stops. And everyone on the tour laughed at his jokes, no matter how corny.