What They Never Said

by Avery, Quinn

  Cameron was disgusted with herself once she realized what was happening. She was falling again. Hard. Only this time it was for a fierce, loyal man who could properly take care of her. The same one who once abandoned her, then saved her life.

  She tried with all her might to bury the old feelings that never really went away, but it was downright impossible to ignore them, especially when she returned from the bathroom at the last brewery to find a group of young women swarming him at the bar.

  Standing back, she observed the scene for a moment, wondering if they were Lincoln’s type. He seemed receptive to the attention. At the same time, she could literally see him holding back. He wasn’t throwing playful winks or flirty grins the way he had done with her all day.

  A brunette in a tiny pink dress and a “21st birthday” sash draped herself over him like she believed she had a shot at taking him home. Over my dead body, Cameron thought.

  “Those look like military tattoos,” the brunette slurred, tracing her fingertips over the inked designs covering Lincoln’s thick forearm. “Are you a Marine?”

  Cameron moved in, coiling her arm around his other side. Though she hadn’t claimed him in such a way in forever, it still felt right. “He’s a Navy Seal,” she bit out.

  The brunette’s expertly executed cat-eyes swung over to Cameron, clouded with annoyance. With a hand on her hip, the woman’s bright red lips turned up with a pout. “Who are you?”

  Suddenly Lincoln was staring at Cameron along with the brunette, his gaze filled with immeasurable pain. Without tearing his eyes away from Cameron, he answered in a quiet voice, “My girl.”

  Cameron’s heart sputtered so hard and fast that it was excruciatingly painful. A knot of emotions filled her with the same two words he had said right before their first kiss. Professing that he was still in love with her would’ve hurt far less. Telling her he had moved on and found another woman would’ve been far better than the ribbon of hope that wove around her heart, spiraling upward until it filled her throat.

  The brunette muttered, “Then keep her on a tighter leash.” She marched off with her friends, leaving Lincoln and Cameron alone at the bar.

  They stared at each other, unmoving. The words “I’m engaged” stuck to her throat like peanut butter. There was no way she could utter them, and watch him break. So instead she ran, fleeing from the building to an empty patio in the back. She kept running until her lungs burned and her throat was so thick with tears that she thought she’d hyperventilate.

  Even though she recognized she’d been a horrible person for not telling him right off, the deviant behavior wasn’t a surprise. She knew whatever goodness she may have once had died long ago.

  An arm hooked around her waist, spinning her around. “I’ll always think of you as mine,” Lincoln told her, stroking the line of her jaw with the pad of his thumb. “Even when you weren’t.”

  White spots speckled her vision, and her knees began to wobble. She hated herself for not asking him to stop every bit as much as she hated just how much his touch and words affected her.

  “Linc…” she whispered, shocked by the rawness of her own voice. She meant to say his name as a warning, but it came out as a plea. His manly scent was messing with her head, bogging down any rational thoughts.

  His lips hovered dangerously close. “I wanted to see you because I need to know if you can forgive me, Quinn. I have to know if we still stand a chance.”

  The cracks in her heart split wide open, and her knees gave out. He folded her in his arms before she hit the ground.

  “You pushed me away!” she sobbed, sagging against him. “I don’t understand what happened! One day you promised you’d love me forever, then you just…cut me from your life! Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

  “I do, and I’m so sorry.” The words came out with a low, dark growl. He squeezed his arms around her, and nuzzled her hair. “I wouldn’t have done it unless I had a good reason. The truth…it’s not something you would understand. I didn’t think you’d be able to handle it. I worried you’d hate me even more.”

  “I could never hate you!” she insisted, pushing back on his chest to look into his eyes. “Why was it so easy for you to hurt me that way?”

  “It was never easy! I had no other choice! I had to protect you!”

  “Protect me from what?”

  He only stared back at her, unwilling to explain.

  She wiggled free from his hold. “I have to go,” she muttered, wiping her tears. “I can’t spend any more time with you if you can’t tell me this big secret you’ve been keeping that was apparently more important than what we had.”

  “What about you?” he snapped. “When were you planning to tell me that you’re marrying someone else?”

  Air whooshed from her lungs. She stumbled backwards, almost tripping over her own feet. He knew.

  “I found your ring.” Hands braced behind his head, he looked beyond her to the building. Agony violently twisted his beautiful features. “It fell out of the glove compartment when I was looking for the trunk release.”

  More tears spilled down her cheeks, hot and fast. The confrontation was almost more painful than the last time things ended between them. Stomach clenching, she wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you about Kellen because I don’t actually love him. I’m only—”

  His eyes snapped back to her. “What did you say?” he roared.

  Realizing her mistake, a great tremor rippled through her core.

  She had said Kellen's name.

  Lincoln stalked forward, eyes wild and teeth barred. She considered running. It’s what any sane person would’ve done. But she chose to be with Kellen for a long list of reasons. The most important was because it would hurt. It would be a torture unlike anything else, and she’d hate herself for it every single day.

  She never considered how much it would hurt Lincoln too. After all, she never dared to dream that he’d one day come back to her.

  He stopped less than a foot away, rage rolling off him in waves. “Why the hell did you say my brother’s name?”

  6

  Anyone else at Crestridge would’ve sworn that the Farrington twins were identical. From the very first moment Cameron saw the handsome brothers their freshman year, however, she was able to spot the differences from across the hallway. It was obvious to her that Kellen was wild and outgoing, sure of himself to the point of arrogance. Lincoln was quiet and tenderhearted with a kind soul. If she looked closely enough, she’d catch the spark of mischief in Kellen's big brown eyes. It was a strong contrast to the unspoken torture reflected in Lincoln's.

  Her grandmother was convinced that Cameron had a gift for seeing someone's personality on first sight, so it wasn’t too much of a surprise to learn she was spot-on about the brothers. Too bad she didn’t have the gift of foresight instead. Then she could've spared Lincoln the antagonizing look he threw her when the truth spilled from her lips.

  “I’m engaged to Kellen.”

  She didn’t know how long it’d been since she last pulled in a breath, but her lungs burned in sharp contrast to the hot string of vomit rising in her throat. Nose running, eyes leaking like a faucet, she didn't bother wiping anything because she was quite frankly too terrified to move.

  Lincoln laughed rather manically. The dark, unapologetic sound resonated in her stomach even though it didn't last more than a handful of seconds. “You’re fucking with me, right?”

  “I don’t love him,” she repeated in a quiet voice, even though she realized it sounded incredibly stupid and shallow. She didn’t expect him to understand.

  Veins popped from his neck when he leaned in, his nose a mere inch from hers. “He despised you, Quinn! You know he did, so don’t you dare try to deny it! How the—”

  He stopped, hand raised in the air between them. She braced herself, welcoming whatever pain he could pass along. She would’ve done anything to ease his burden.

  Lincoln sp
un away suddenly, locking his hands behind his neck before bending in half. “God Dammit!”

  The guide from the brewery tour stepped in beside Cameron, hands stuffed in his pockets. He was the kind of easy-going guy that wouldn’t look out of place with a bong in hand. She was surprised to see a flash of anger cross his expression when he glanced at Lincoln. “Everything okay out here?”

  “We’re just working out some stuff,” she answered quietly.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” he whispered, setting a hand between her shoulder blades. “He looks really…pissed.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she insisted, twisting away.

  “It’s time to go,” he stated. “Everyone’s waiting in the bus.”

  She motioned for him to leave with a flick of her wrist. “Go without us. We’ll grab a ride back.”

  The guy glanced Lincoln’s way one more time. “You sure? I don’t feel comfortable leaving you like this.”

  “Please,” she begged, wiping at her tears. “Leave us alone.”

  “Okay, but if you don’t return in the next hour to get your car from our lot, I’m giving the cops this guy’s name and the copy we took of his driver’s license.” The guide threw Cameron a wary look before he shuffled away.

  Lincoln was still bent over with his back to her, hands clenching his knees.

  Her pulse throbbed inside her dry throat. She counted the agonized seconds that passed, willing him to speak again. She’d rather hear him yell and tell her how much he hated her than watch him self-destruct.

  “You should ride back with them.” The rumble of his voice was low and steady, laced with warning like a volcano about to erupt.

  “Please, just let me explain. There’s a reason I’m with your brother, Linc. And I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. You’ve been gone—”

  “Just go!” he roared, spinning back around. “I can’t stand the sight of you right now!”

  Teeth gritted, nostrils flared, gaze dark, hands twitching at his sides, he was feral, ready to tear her limb from limb.

  She spun around and left.

  * * *

  Face wet with endless tears, she slumped in Kellen’s favorite leather armchair in the living room, blackout curtains drawn. She willed the darkness to swallow her, or for the sky to fall. Anything to escape the misery of not knowing if Lincoln was okay.

  The news had broken him, just as she’d feared. What if he did something drastic? Kellen was out of harm’s way since he was in New York, but what if Lincoln decided there was only one way to end his misery?

  She drifted in and out of sleep as Lincoln’s words replayed in her head. “He hated you, Quinn! You know he did, so don’t you dare try to deny it!”

  He was absolutely right.

  Kellen Farrington was known as a ladies’ man. Cameron didn't think there were many girls in their grade he hadn’t slept with before graduation. Even though he was well aware that she had become Lincoln’s girlfriend, he relentlessly pursued her. Some days he was flirtatious, and other days he was flat out cruel. The last day of their sophomore year, as she was cleaning out her locker for summer break, he was a little of both.

  “Looking good, Cameron.”

  His voice was the exact same pitch as his brother’s, but she sensed it was Kellen before she turned to him. His words were always laced with an underlying malice, and Lincoln almost never called her Cameron.

  Alan Dixon and Cal Hatfield stood at his side, their lips curled with matching smirks. They were a loyal part of the Farrington brothers' crew, but it seemed Lincoln hung out with them less and less once he met Cameron. In the end, she despised Alan and Cal as much as she despised Kellen. Her blood boiled hot when finding them standing so close.

  “What do you want?” she asked Kellen, hoping he wasn’t there to cause a scene. The hallway was filled with boisterous classmates eager to vacate the building. Since she had plans to meet Lincoln after he was done with the debate team’s end-of-the-year party, she was taking her time.

  Kellen’s eyes swept over her body as he licked his lips. “Just stopping to say ‘hi.’ Do you have a problem with me being friendly?” He lifted the hem of her skirt with one finger. "You didn’t seem to have that problem the first time we met.”

  Heat burned her cheeks. She slapped his hand away. “Just…screw off, Kellen.”

  “Are you saying my brother can be your friend, and I can’t?”

  “Lincoln’s nothing like you,” she said, lifting her chin. “He’d never have to bully me into liking him.”

  He grabbed her wrist, his eyes dark and threatening. If they’d been alone, she had no doubt he would’ve done more than hold her in place. “You think I’m ‘bullying’ you? Guess this means no one from your side of the tracks ever hit on you before.” He glanced at Alan. They bumped fists, and their maniacal laughter bounced down the hallway.

  “Let me go,” she snarled, attempting to free herself from his grip.

  He stood closer, pushing against her thigh. “Does this feel like bullying to you?”

  Tears clogged her throat. “You don't want to make me scream for help.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. I’d love nothing more than to make you scream, baby—just not for help.”

  He released her then, shoving her into the lockers. He glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention before he leaned in close, his hot breath covering her face. “Tell my brother he’s an idiot for not tapping that.”

  Cameron’s cell phone buzzed with a message. She wiped at her wet face before plucking it from her purse, hoping it was Lincoln. But Kellen’s name flashed across the screen. Her skin crawled with the memory of him harassing her by the lockers.

  Dinner with my parents tomorrow night. Time to tell them we’re engaged.

  Kellen hated his father almost as much as his twin. Unlike Lincoln, however, Kellen didn’t have the luxury of walking away. He was hopeful he’d become the future CEO of Howard Farrington’s lucrative software company. From what she’d gathered, Kellen was in need of a more imaginative way to get under his father’s skin. Knowing Howard always despised her for whatever reason must’ve been enough motivation.

  She imagined Kellen was messaging her from the same penthouse he reserved whenever in Manhattan on business, probably accompanied by some poor woman he’d lured with his plastic charm. He had never made any effort to hide his “other” life from her. Fearful she’d contract a disease, it was the second biggest reason she'd stopped sleeping with him months prior.

  Hands trembling, she typed out a response.

  Can’t tomorrow. Spending the day with Rebecca. Won’t get back until late.

  Disgusted with herself, she screamed and chucked her phone across the room. It pinged off the wall and clattered onto the hardwood floor. How had she carried on with the charade for so long? Now that she was so far in, would she ever find her way back out? Hearing Lincoln claim he didn’t blame her for being sent away had changed everything. Yet nothing about her situation was any different. She was still trapped in a loveless relationship with a man she’d always despised, and Lincoln was leaving for San Diego County the following day. And if Lincoln didn’t hate her before, he definitely did by that point.

  Blindly stumbling through the darkness toward the wet bar, she grabbed the first bottle her fingers encountered. She unscrewed the cap and took a long pull. Sputtering when Kellen’s favorite whiskey coated her stomach, she took a moment to catch her breath before indulging in another long drink. The detestable way Lincoln looked at her when learning the truth had carved a mark on her soul.

  “I can’t stand the sight of you right now!”

  The Farrington twins both despised her.

  Cradling the bottle to her chest, she sunk back into Kellen’s chair. Maybe if she drank herself into oblivion, she could drown out the memories once and for all, both good and bad.

  * * *

  Pounding on the apartment door jarred her awake.

  She was s
till in Kellen’s chair, cloaked in darkness. The unsavory taste of whiskey lingered on her breath, and there was a dull pang against her skull. She only drank a portion of what she’d intended before passing out, exhausted by the draining emotions that returned with the demons of her past. She had no concept of time since the curtains were still closed and her phone was somewhere on the floor.

  “Quinn! Open the goddamned door!”

  Lincoln’s deep voice, demanding and urgent, vibrated through every nerve. Letting him in when they were alone and he was angry didn’t seem like the best idea. Back when they were in love, she was certain he’d never lay a finger on her in a harmful way. After seeing how muscular he’d become and witnessing him in a fit of rage, she wasn’t as confident.

  “I know you’re in there! Your doorman told me you’re home! I need to see you!”

  She bit down on her lip hard enough to draw blood. How many of their neighbors could hear him? If someone were to tell Kellen there’d been a man who looked just like him only bigger, pounding on their door, calling her “Quinn”…

  “I’m coming!” she called, jumping to her feet.

  Sprinting to the entryway, she flipped the light switch before pulling the door open. Lincoln’s massive body staggered through the threshold. He was hunched over, eyes blurred and darkened with shadows. He looked like he’d just returned from Hell.

  The urge to beg for his forgiveness was so overwhelming that a soundless whimper pulled at her lips. “You’re drunk,” she said, sticking her hands in her back pockets.

  “You have my stuff.” He continued on without looking her way. She almost gagged with the stench of barley and hops. “Fancy place. Reminds me of him.”

  She closed the door before following him into the living area. Folding her arms, she stood and watched him take everything in, waiting for his wrath to fall. His massive frame swayed in the center of the room, looking sorely out of place in his brother’s pristine surroundings. “My brother…that bastard…he’s never been a good person. He’s just like our old man.”