What They Never Said

by Avery, Quinn

  With her breath held, she waited for him to continue, knowing she had to absorb whatever hateful things he had to say. She’d hurt him—there was no avoiding the consequences.

  “When we were little, Kellen would catch butterflies, and take pleasure in pulling their wings off.” His glossy eyes fell on her. “Who the hell does that?”

  She shuddered with the cold hatred in his tone, but didn't answer what seemed to be a rhetorical question. Nothing she could say would excuse Kellen for committing such a deplorable act.

  Lincoln’s eyes narrowed. “He tried to drown me once. Did I ever tell you ‘bout that?”

  Unshed tears burned behind her eyes when she shook her head.

  “We were ten. We were both good swimmers, spent half our summers alone in our backyard pool. One time he held me down until I passed out. Luckily our neighbor heard me struggling and came just in time to give me CPR. Kellen acted like he was just screwin’ around, but I saw it in his eyes. He wanted me dead. He always hated me…I think because he thought I was our mom’s favorite. But in reality, I just never pulled the kind of crap he tried to get away with, so I never got on her bad side.”

  Several times she tried to swallow, but her throat was too dry. She’d always known Kellen was capable of deplorable things—just nothing on that level.

  Lincoln ambled over to the hallway, studying the collection of black and white photographs from his twin’s last skiing trip in Aspen. In one picture, Kellen stood with a group of his buddies, arms slung around each other’s shoulders with the mountains in the background.

  It was the first trip he’d taken after he started dating Cameron, and incidentally, the first time she discovered he was sleeping with other women. After he returned, she saw Kellen’s phone light up on the counter with a picture of him wrapped around a naked, busty redhead in a hot tub. Their position and body language left no question as to what they’d been doing. Kellen didn’t try to hide it or make excuses. He only looked at Cameron and shrugged with one of his cocky smirks. A part of her was relieved the pressure was off to pretend she cared.

  Lincoln’s face twisted with disgust. “It was always a competition with him—who had more friends, who was a better athlete, who got better grades. By the time we started at Crestridge, I was sick to death of ‘im. I couldn’t have given a shit less if he was better, and it pissed him off. Once you an’ me started hangin’ out, he saw you as a challenge. The things he used to say about you…” When he turned to face her square on, tears glistened against his dark eyes. “Competition’s over. He got my girl. Guess he won.”

  Unbearable agony squeezed her heart enough to buckle her knees. “He doesn’t have me, Linc. He never will.”

  “Then why are you with him?” His voice cut through the apartment, sharp as a knife.

  Watching someone as masculine as Lincoln break right in front of her was devastating. She moved over to him as quickly as she could, wrapping her fingers around his thick arms. Tears trickled down her cheeks, filling her mouth with their bitter taste. The truth rolled around on the tip of her tongue, sounding more and more convoluted with every second.

  How could she make him understand when most days she wasn’t sure why she’d gone forward with the idea? And what if he was drunk enough that he wouldn’t remember anything she said?

  Moving her hands up to cradle his bearded jaw, she circled her thumbs over his ruddy cheeks. “Whenever I look at him, I see a glimpse of you.”

  Nostrils flaring, he shook his head. “Now every time I look at you, all I can see is him.”

  He pulled away. The absence of his warmth was like a hard slap that vibrated down to the pit of her stomach. And just like that, she realized it was over. They were over. There was no chance he’d move past her betrayal, and he still had no idea how far that betrayal went.

  With his head down, he started for the front door. “I have to go.”

  “Stay,” she blurted to his back. “You’re drunk, and I don’t want to have to worry about you getting somewhere safely. You can take the Murphy bed in the office. I won’t bother you for the rest of the night. Please…don’t go like this.”

  Turning back, his eyes narrowed. “Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want to sleep in his office.”

  “It’s not his, it’s mine. It’s more of a studio where I sometimes paint—a hobby I picked up in college.”

  His eyes fell to her feet, and his shoulders dropped. “Fine. Whatever.”

  It was a small victory, one that didn’t change anything, but at least she wouldn’t be up all night worrying he’d decided to become a statistic by throwing himself off the Golden Gate Bridge.

  7

  Lincoln’s head pounded worse than the time he stood too close to a land mine that discharged during training, and knocked the back of his skull against a tank. He had forgotten where he spent the night until he saw a painting of tortured blue eyes leaning against an easel in what was obviously a self-portrait of Cameron.

  Her confession at the brewery returned in bits and pieces. Everything after that was a drunken blur. After four solid hours of drinking anything he could get his hands on, he was hammered when he came to her apartment. If he hadn’t decided to retrieve his bag, he might’ve hooked up with the first attractive woman to cross his path even though a one-night stand wasn’t going to fix a damn thing. Nothing had ever burned as badly as discovering his twin was engaged to his girl.

  Luckily he’d been loaded enough to text Duke, who told him to get his ass back to Cameron and work it out. He couldn’t imagine what they could possibly “work out.” She was marrying Kellen. End of story. The worst part about the whole thing was that he would’ve expected that kind of betrayal from his brother. But from Cameron? Not in a million years.

  He thought their senior prom was magical, even though guys weren’t supposed to use that word. But it was true—he’d fallen harder for Cameron than he intended, and she was gorgeous in the pale pink dress she’d bought from the thrift store.

  Before the dance, he took her to a quiet little Italian restaurant where they made her favorite manicotti, and serenaded her while eating. He couldn’t have been any happier to show her off that night. She convinced him to dance several times, sometimes just the two of them, and sometimes to bust a move with Ellee and her boyfriend.

  The perfect night came to a horrific end while the dance was winding down. Cameron returned to him from a long bathroom break with her eye makeup streaked, hair sticking out from the braid twisted behind her head, and beautiful eyes heavy with devastation. He immediately sensed something was wrong. Panic closed his throat when he gathered her in his arms, and noticed one of the straps on her dress was ripped.

  “What happened?” he demanded, squeezing her tightly.

  “It’s nothing. I tripped in the hallway.” But her voice wavered, and she trembled.

  “Don’t lie to me, Quinn.”

  There was no need for her to say anything more when his brother strutted into the gym. Their eyes met, and Kellen’s lips quirked before his chest shook with a silent laugh. The bastard was always doing his best to make Cameron uncomfortable, but whatever he’d done to her physically that night was unforgivable. Lincoln’s gut roiled with the possibilities.

  Not so gently moving Cameron aside, he started for Kellen.

  A second later, she yanked on his arm, trying to hold him back. “Don’t do this, Linc!” she cried. “We both know he’s a dick! He’s not worth it! I don’t want to remember the night this way! Let’s just go to the hotel!”

  He reeled on her so suddenly that she shrunk back with wild eyes. “I’m done with this crap! I won’t let him hurt you!”

  Kellen and Lincoln had goofed around as kids, wrestling the way brothers often would. But it was the first time Lincoln wanted to bust his twin into pieces. Kellen wasn’t expecting the fist thrown into his smirking face. Before the teachers pulled them apart, Lincoln was rewarded with the satisfying snap of the cartilage in Kellen’s nose again
st his knuckles. But it still wasn’t enough. He wanted his brother dead.

  Lincoln ran his hands over his pounding head. He may’ve been done with Cameron, and didn't have the patience for another round of arguing, but he still needed to get his things from her car in order to change and head south, leaving the nightmare far behind.

  Hearing the sounds of doors opening and closing from somewhere in the apartment, he decided to climb off the Murphy bed and face the music. He slipped into his shorts before heading into the bathroom to splash water on his face and gargle. The entire time, his convoluted thoughts became enough to drive him insane.

  This is your brother’s place.

  She’s your brother’s woman.

  They live here together.

  Cameron will have the children she wanted with your brown eyes, only they’re going to be your nieces and nephews.

  Somehow he finished up without breaking anything or upchucking into the toilet.

  He found Cameron in the modernly simplistic kitchen, back to him as she poured steaming coffee into a mug. She wore an oversized t-shirt in a light shade of pink, blond curls piled on her head in a bun. His eyes trailed down to her tanned legs, long and lean like a dancer’s. Need rose in his chest. He’d missed her so damn much. Even if what she had done was unforgivable, he was all too ready to cast it aside to be reunited with the only woman he’d ever worshiped.

  But she belonged to Kellen.

  Clenching waves overtook his stomach, threatening to spew every remaining drop of booze. The entire situation was too twisted for words. What did she think she could accomplish by spending the rest of her life with a man who was determined to ruin her since the day they’d met?

  She spun around with a start, coffee sloshing in her mug. “I’m sorry,” she offered in a soft voice. Her cheeks glowed with embarrassment. Like the day before, her face was washed clean without a trace of makeup. The messy curls spilling from the bun and framing her petite features gave her an angelic aura in the morning light. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You didn’t,” he snapped. Feeling guilty when she flinched, he dropped his gaze to her mug. “Got any of that left?”

  “Yeah…of course.”

  She set her mug down and reached into one of the black cabinets, standing on her tiptoes. Her nightshirt lifted. Quickly drawing his eyes away from her tempting curves, Lincoln headed for the little island at the end of the kitchen, and hooked his leg over one of the stools.

  Cameron crossed over to him with a second mug in one hand, a bottle of painkillers in the other. “Figured you’d need these,” she said, flashing him a sad smile.

  “Thanks.”

  He downed a few pills with his coffee and stared into the black liquid, wondering how their lives had taken such a dramatic swing. Seven years ago, he would’ve done anything for her. He was certain they’d end up married with beautiful little girls that had her gorgeous smile and silky blond hair, and boys that were miniature versions of himself. She’d wanted that too.

  What if hooking up with his brother was simply her way of hurting Lincoln back? Wasn’t it what he deserved after breaking her heart?

  They sipped their drinks in silence for a few minutes before she inhaled a shallow breath. “How are you getting down to Coronado?” she asked.

  Looking up at her, he shrugged one shoulder. “Figured I’d rent a car, take my time driving along the coast.”

  “I’ll give you a ride to one of the rental companies.”

  “Where is he?” Lincoln blurted.

  Her eyes darted downward. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.

  “Why isn’t he here?” he demanded, attempting to keep his twitching hands under control.

  “He’s in New York on business.” Her voice came out small and meek, not unlike the timid way she acted with him at High Top's. “He’ll be back later tonight.”

  Standing, he moved around the island. When he stopped at her side, her eyes caught on the tattoo over his heart. Dragging her pointer finger over the script surrounded by scattered music notes, she read the words aloud that he’d inked with her in mind.

  “‘Don't stop believing’? I don’t remember you being that into Journey.”

  Eyes closed, he leaned his head back. Her touch burned his skin, electrifying his heart like it had been asleep in the time they’d been apart. The Navy had been fulfilling, but his life was still missing something. Her.

  “I got it right out of boot camp,” he told her once able to collect himself. “It’s one of the ways I tried to survive after letting you go. I told myself it was because I wanted to believe there was someone out there who was better for me, but it was really because I wanted to believe we’d find our way back to each other.” He gazed down, watching tears splash onto her pajamas. He held her face in his hands. “Look at me.”

  Crystal blue eyes flickered up to meet his, dusted with pain. She leaned into his touch like a neglected dog starved for attention. It wasn’t the first time she’d reacted that way since he’d returned. He believed her when she claimed she didn’t love Kellen, because she sure as hell didn’t act like a woman who had given her heart to someone else.

  Wanting to be with her was both foolish and selfish, but he couldn’t stand seeing her that way.

  “Have you ever looked into the mirror and hated yourself for every bad decision you’ve ever made?” he asked. She winced in response. Too fearful of what he’d see in her expression after what he was about to say, his eyes trailed down to her soft, pale lips. At that point, he didn’t know if he could handle her rejection. “What if I told you that I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go, and I’d do anything to have you be mine again?”

  For a dangerously long pause, the apartment filled with dead silence. Then she whispered, “How long before you change your mind, and decide to leave me again?”

  Tilting his chin up, he held her blue eyes. The last emotion he expected to see in them shined bright: hope. The way her lips parted, she appeared on edge, eagerly awaiting his answer.

  He’d never been so unequivocally attracted to a woman. The need to wrap her in his arms and never let go crashed into him like a runaway freight train. The way she looked back at him, he was certain she willed him to do it. Electricity crackled in the air between them, taunting his remaining reasons for holding back.

  “I was doing what was best for you at the time. But there’s no way in hell I’m going to stand back and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life by marrying my brother. I won’t let you throw your life away for whatever ridiculous excuse you have to put yourself through that nightmare.”

  After brushing the pad of his thumb over her delicate mouth, his lips were on hers. She first stiffened with the slow, gentle kiss. He feared she’d push him away, but then she melted into him, and her lips parted.

  The past and present collided with the press of their lips. He couldn’t have prepared himself for the moment he’d get to touch her again, feel how much she still cared with every caress of her fingers, every stroke of her soft lips. The boy who let her go cried victoriously as the man he’d become prayed it would last, and wouldn’t become a short-lived memory.

  He wanted to remind her of how good they were together while showing her a glimpse of how their future could be. There was no doubt in his mind that every inch of her wanted to forgive him, to give him another shot. Still, doubting he could survive losing her all over again, he pulled back. If it was their last private moment together, he wanted to remember her the way she looked forever—flushed cheeks, eyelids closed, lips slightly swollen. Flawless.

  “I never stopped loving you,” he growled, gripping the back of her head. “Give me another chance, Quinn. Let me love you the way you deserve.”

  A key jiggled in the apartment door. Lincoln turned to ice and Cameron let out a muffled squeak before pushing away from him. Her face was ghostly white as they listened to the sounds of
footsteps and a suitcase being pulled across the hardwood. She snatched his hand and led him back into the office, gently closing the door behind them.

  “Cameron? You here?”

  His brother was home.

  With the sound of his brother’s voice, nearly identical to Lincoln’s, the hairs on the back of his neck rose. Heartbeats shook his entire body. He was ready to wrap his twitching fingers around Kellen’s neck when his voice continued to boom through the apartment. “Come on, babe. I’m going to destroy that gorgeous body.”

  A female giggle followed from right outside the door, accompanied by hurried footsteps. “Seriously, Kellen. You’re such a romantic.”

  Somewhere in the apartment, a door slammed shut.

  A fire seared through Lincoln when Cameron turned to him with guilt plastered across her face. She knew of her fiancé’s indiscretions. Lincoln couldn’t decide if he was more irate with her, or his brother. What excuse could she possibly have to forgive Kellen’s behavior?

  “You already knew he’s sleeping around,” he snarled, his voice booming with accusation.

  She clutched his arm. “Please keep your voice down. You haven’t talked to each other in years. He will come unglued if he finds you here.”

  Lips curling with disgust, Lincoln pried her grip off him. “So this is it? Rather than give us another shot, you’re throwing everything away to be with an adulterer who wouldn’t know the first thing about treating you right?”

  “I want to be with you, Linc, I swear. It’s just…complicated.”

  “Is this your way of getting back at me for hurting you?”

  “Oh my God! No way! But we can’t just spring on him the reasons you’re here.”